Storms
The Doctor swirled the tea in the bottom of his cup, glowering at it. Five days. Five days she'd been acting like this. She barely spoke to him. Every moment that she wasn't specifically assigned a task, she disappeared into the corridors. She'd gained enough skill to close off her emotions, and the TARDIS was helping her keep to herself. The worst of it was, he didn't know why she was acting this way. He'd tried asking her.
"Jenny, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, sir." She'd said, face impassive.
"Jenny, why're you upset?"
"I'm not upset, sir."And she'd walked away.
"Jenny, what's going on?"
"Nothing, sir. Do you want me to replace the circuit now?"
Her face was calm when she spoke to him, her eyes remote. Their conversations were short and clipped. She did her work with a stiff economy of movement. It was driving the Doctor up the wall. Yesterday he'd snapped; turned around and yelled at her.
"Jenny! Stop sulking around and talk to me!"
She'd looked at him, her face a study in marble and sapphires. Her expression was perfectly calm. Yet it managed to convey a cold anger.
"What is wrong?"
"Nothing, sir." Then she'd turned on her heel and marched off.
The Doctor finished his tea and stalked out, hands in the pockets of his blue suit. What was going on? Why was she so angry at him? Yes, they'd had a fight. But that was fairly normal. He'd found that you could talk reasonably to Jenny once you let her blow off some steam. So that was how he handled it. Talk to her until she yelled, then talk to her until it was worked out. But this was different.
He pushed open the door to the console room, stalked inside. They were in stasis somewhere in the middle of an emission nebulae, and the TARDIS had picked up plenty of energy off it. Good. She'd been needing a top-up. He dropped into the console chair, resting his feet on the trim of the console. His eyes glanced blankly over the readouts for the area. How was it that he could figure out difficulties of enormous proportions on a daily basis, but he couldn't fathom his own daughter?
Somewhere in one of his pockets, something rang. The Doctor shot to attention, eyes puzzled and alert. He burrowed his hands into both his pockets. His face brightened, his hand reappearing with the slim cell phone clutched in long fingers.
"Hello…wonder what you're ringing for. Hope there's not trouble back on Earth, not just yet anyway. That's exactly the last thing I need right now."
He flipped the phone open.
"Martha, hello!"
The Doctor's brows drew together.
"Who are you? And how did you get this number?"
He listened for a moment, and his eyebrows shot up.
"Luke? Sara Jane's… All right, all right. Luke, listen to me. Just calm down, tell me what happened."
He listened.
"All right, Luke. I'm coming. I'll be there shortly."
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
The Doctor followed Luke up the stairs. Sarah Jane had, he observed, set up a very nice home. Not that he got to observe much of it. Luke had essentially answered the door, said "You're the Doctor?" and taken off down the hall when he got an affirmative answer, talking the entire time.
"I don't know what's wrong. I was downloading a video from the internet, and Mr. Smith offered his help, and Mum's away on vacation. If she finds out she'll never let me stay home alone again. And then he starts doing this and for a second I thought he was going mad again, he did that once, but I don't think so, he's just-he's been like this for six hours! I tried calling Captain Jack, but he's busy, and nobody else I know knows anything about anything like this, and I can't even get him to respond to me, except to come out. I tried running data-trails, computational reroutes, anything, but he's just shut me out." They were hurrying up a set of unpainted wooden stairs now, into-an attic? Luke pushed inside, into wide aerie furnished with a nice mishmash of furniture, books, and bits of technology from at least four systems.
"Mr. Smith, I need you!"
The Doctor's head snapped around. The breast of the chimney was opening. Behind it was-
The Doctor's eyes widened. "Oh, aren't you beautiful!"
A complex computer system unfurled from within the brickwork, the partition of the chimney opening into wings covered in controls and switches. The wide wall-mounted screen glowed brightly, displaying an ever-changing panoply of crystalline structures.
The boy beside him stepped forward, his eyes huge. "He's not talking. He's still not talking."
The Doctor glanced at him. "He talks?" The boy nodded nervously.
"Yes. It's like having another adult around. He even said I couldn't download one of the pictures I wanted to see. Inappropriate content, he said. It was rated R." He glanced over his shoulder. "Can you not tell my mum that?"
The Doctor smirked. "Lips sealed." Striding over to the control pad, he slipped on his glasses and tapped a few keys, getting a feel for the system.
"Oh, nice work here! And these connections, marvelous, for this timeframe at least. But what's powering-" He followed several cords, then his eyes shot back to the screen.
"Xylok! Oh, haven't seen anything Xylok in years! Thought they were wiped out for the most part. Bio- crystal liquid and electropathic pulse integration manifold feed through the computer. Did this land here by accident? Oh, I have got to talk to Sarah Jane about this! Beautiful! Hello, Mr. Xylok! Or, does he have a name?"
"He's Mr. Smith."
The Doctor grinned broadly. "Mr. Smith! Oh, good name! Hello, Mr. Smith! Now let's see what's going on with you. What's wrong…"
"All systems functional, Master."
The Doctor's grin widened. "Well hello to you too, K-9! How's life?"
The little metal body came whirring from a corner of the room. "All my circuits are functioning at full capacity, Master."
"Very nice! Come'n give me a hand, then. Need to know what's wrong with this lad."
"No difficulties with the computational unit have been documented, Master. Young Master is disturbed and acting inappropriately; Mistress has been alerted."
"What?!!" The boy shouted. "You told Mum? You told Mum? When? How long ago?" He dashed to the window, staring.
"One hour and twenty minutes ago." The robotic voice replied, chipper. The boy blanched.
"Oh no!!" With another frantic glance out the window, he rushed back.
"Doctor, can you fix him, can you fix him before Mum comes back? Please!!"
The Doctor held both arms up. "Okay, okay, Luke, calm down now! Nothing's wrong. Actually, Mr. Smith was just ignoring you. You're safe, you're not his main operator, and he wanted to watch the movie he just downloaded. So he just put you off. I was just working with him while you two talked. No problem. Relax! By the way, this is an awful long picture you got. What did you download?"
Luke stared at him, eyes still huge.
"What?"
"What'd you download? Looks like he's going through a box set or something."
"A few seasons of the Star Trek series."
The Doctor stared at the boy, amused and incredulous. "Star Trek? Star Trek?"
"It was recommended by a friend of mine. She said it's good." the boy stared at the Doctor, who was shaking his head, grinning.
"All this panic and fuss for a load of Star Trek episodes. An' I expected the end of the world; at least that's what I usually end up with when I get a call. You humans." He glanced up at the sound of a car in the drive.
"Ah. I 'spect that'll be Sarah Jane then. Lovely!" He turned on his heel, and noticed Jenny, who had just stepped into the room, eyes analyzing.
"You lock the door behind you before you left?"
"Hmm?" She was so busy exploring. Then she glanced at him. Her face set again.
"Oh. Yes."
The Doctor sighed to himself. Apparently she was going to keep up the act.
Her eyes had fallen on K-9. She dropped to her haunches. "Hello."
K-9 rolled forward, all his sensors directed at her.
"Greetings." He extended his analysis unit, touched it briefly to Jenny's hand.
"Sensors detect non-human genetic code. Extrapolating-sensors detect Gallifreyan DNA pattern. You are of Gallifreyan origin. You share DNA markers with the Doctor-Master. You are offspring of the Doctor-Master." His head bobbed on its short neck.
"Welcome, young Mistress."
Jenny grinned. "Thanks."
She glanced up at the boy and the complex machine surrounded in brick. She cocked her head.
"Oh. Neat. Can I take a-"
Just as she stood, another person stepped into the attic.
"Luke, are you up he-"
Sarah Jane froze. She looked from her son, to the Doctor, to Jenny, to her son again.
"Welcome back." A smooth voice issued from the computer. Luke glanced at it with something like disgust. The Doctor smiled.
"Sarah Jane. Sorry to drop in without notice. Don't suppose you've had tea yet, have you?"
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Sarah Jane handed a cup of tea across to the bright young girl on the other side of the table.
"But I only-"
"You called the Doctor, for a little bit of a mistake with our computer! Really Luke, use that mind of yours!"
"But Mum, it's-"
"Doctor, have a crumpet. You were way out of line and you know it, Luke!"
"Really, Sarah Jane, I don't mind a call, in fact-"
"Yes, but he should have better sense than that! Oh, like to try a crumpet dear?"
"Sure. Try anything once." Jenny pulled one off the plate.
"You'll love those, Jenny."
The girl glanced at the Doctor, and glanced away again.
Sarah Jane glowered at her adopted son across the table. There had been a rattling five-part conversation down the hall and into the kitchen, wherein she had been introduced to the young woman who was apparently called Jenny, and found out through K-9 exactly why the Doctor was there and what Luke had been up to with Mr. Smith. She was not letting Luke forget this for quite some time. Quite some time. He glanced at her, then across at the Doctor as a safer alternative.
"Doctor?"
"Hmm?" the
Doctor asked, biting into his pastry.
"Is Gallifreyan your species? Was that what K-9 was talking about with the scan?"
Sarah Jane glanced up.
"Scan? Why was K-9 running a species scan on you, Doctor?"
"Washname." The Doctor said indistinctly. He swallowed.
"Sorry. Wasn't me he was scanning. The old dog's as perceptive as ever, and he gave Jenny the once-over right away. Probably gave him a bit of a shock. Sorry, Sarah Jane, but I'm going to have to ask you to keep a bit of a secret. Sort of important, I'd rather not have it blabbed all over just now, not just yet. Too many interested parties out and about who'd love to learn this, and once one person knows it everybody'll know it. So, I guess- well, I mean I trust the blokes at UNIT, 'specially since Martha's there now, and I trust Jack, mostly, it's just I'd rather be safe than sorry. Do you mind?"
By now everyone at the table was staring at the Doctor . Sarah Jane quirked an eyebrow. Good Lord, he does talk a lot in this regeneration. She could have sworn somebody laughed. She froze for a moment-then realized it was probably noise from outside. She took a sip of her tea. She set down her cup. It gave her just enough time to process everything he had said.
"Doctor, are you saying what I
think you're saying?"
He glanced at her. That questioning look
was the same, even if the face wasn't.
"What do you think I'm saying?"
"I believe you're saying that Jenny is-well, yours."
He nodded. "Right in one. Long story, rather complicated, and sort of-"
"I'm a progenated clone." Jenny said quietly.
"Cloning?" Luke said, sitting forward in his chair. "You're a clone?"
"Yes." Jenny replied. Sarah Jane glanced at her. The tone of her voice had an odd note to it.
"That's amazing!" Luke said, eyes wide. "I don't meet many clones. It's still not used on human beings with human technology. They say it's too dangerous."
"Is it?" Jenny asked, "I don't know much about this timeframe."
"Where are you from then?"
"Just about everywhere, I guess. I was born in the forty-ninth century, if you're using the original Byzantine calendar, but…"
"Really? Here on Earth?"
"No, about two billion light years from here actually. Why do you know so much about cloning?"
Sarah Jane glanced at the Doctor. He was watching the two youngsters with a small half-smile.
She leaned over.
"What do you say we take all these dishes into the kitchen, let the young people talk a bit?"
The Doctor glanced at her. He looks tired.
"Sounds good. Did you ever get a dishwasher?"
She gave him a disparaging glance."Of course. You think I'd spend any more time on house cleaning than I had to?"
Smiling, they gathered up the dishes, pulling them out from under the children who barely paused in their conversation as they handed over their teacups. Actually, Jenny wasn't quite a child. She looked to be somewhere around eighteen or twenty, though she spoke to Luke as an equal.
The Doctor balanced a dangerous number of dishes on top of each other as they walked into the kitchen.
"Luke seems well. A bit advanced for his age too, not to mention his century. You know he was talking about running computational reroutes on that system of yours?"
Sarah Jane rolled her eyes, pulling open the dishwasher. "I know. The boy's too bright for his own good in some ways." She dropped a plate in, and reached out to steady the tottering pile of dishes in the Doctor's hands.
"It's nice to see him talking so easily with someone. He's adopted, and at times I'm afraid he feels a bit out of place. Now tell me about Jenny. How did you find her?"
The Doctor handed her another cup. "I didn't, exactly. Well, not the first time. Landed on this planet called Messaline. They were fighting this war, y'see, and breeding soldiers through a progenation machine to keep up a steady supply. I sort of-well, got stuck in the middle of it, got a sample taken from me, and Jenny's the result. Accident, really."
His friend shot him a look. "I hope that's not the way you explained it to her."
The Doctor glanced up, brows drawn.
"I don't have to tell Jenny anything about her birth. She was there for it."
"Really, Doctor,-"
"No, really. Born at the adolescent stage. Ready to fight from the moment she drew breath. And she used to carry a gun."
That got Sarah Jane off track."A gun?!"
The Doctor nodded. "Yep, a gun. Big threatening firearm. Almost as long as her leg. And you know, when somebody carries a firearm like that, it just begs for a situation to use it. Near drove me mad."
Sarah Jane smiled ruefully. "Well, I know about children driving you wild. Witness Luke's behavior today. I still can't believe he tracked down your number and called you rather than just admit to me what he'd done."
The Doctor nodded. "Seems like that's universal. Kids not telling their parents things, I mean." For a moment, his eyes seemed to lose focus, staring into space. Sarah Jane studied his face.
"Doctor, are you all right?"
He smiled, a quiet little expression.
"Ah, you know me, Sarah. I'm always all right."
"And you think I believe that?"
The Doctor glanced away.
"I'm fine. Just got something on my mind, is all." Then he glanced up, his enthusiasm returning. "Now, tell me about your friend Mr. Smith."
The Doctor and Jenny ended up staying for the afternoon. Two hours into their stay, Sarah Jane knew something was wrong. She wasn't an investigative reporter for nothing, after all. It was in the looks. Jenny smiled at Luke and was very respectful to Sarah Jane, aside from asking questions that would have been rude in other circumstances. But to her father she was positively cold. When the Doctor glanced at her, his eyes were pained. His lips turned down in a frustration when his daughter looked away.
After a few hours, Sarah Jane headed into the kitchen to start dinner. She pulled a few chicken thighs from the freezer, dropped them into the sink to defrost, and began to mix the sauce. Boots clicked on the floor behind her.
"Is there any soda? Luke sent me in here for it."
"In the refrigerator. Help yourself to anything you see in there; dinner's in two hours."
Boot heels clicked again. Jenny peered over Sarah Jane's shoulder.
"What are you cooking?"
"Rosemary Chicken. It goes very well with the pepper carrots your father makes. Only thing he really knows how to cook, as far as I know. He said he'd give a go on making it tonight."
"He cooks other things too."
"Does he now? Last time he cooked I think the house we were in nearly burned down."
She glanced at Jenny with a smile. The girl looked at her, her face still-and looked away again.
Well, now she had to see to this.
"Would you like to help?"
Jenny glanced up again.
"Sure. Show me what to do."
Sarah Jane pulled out the recipe, showing it to Jenny. The girl glanced at the recipe, then started moving around the kitchen, pulling down boxes, filling a pot with water.
"These are your measurement tools?" she asked as the older woman pulled out a set of measuring cups and spoons.
"Yep."Sarah Jane stuck the chicken in the pot as Jenny set it on the stove. "Jenny?"
The girl looked at her again.
"Is everything all right with you? You and your father?"
"Of course, ma'am."
"Really? Because the Doctor seems quite upset and you're up in arms as well. Is everything going well?"
"Of course it is, ma'am." Jenny grated pepper into the bowl she was using, her eyes down, body stiff.
"You know that's the same way Luke talks to me when he doesn't want to discuss something." Sarah Jane commented, peeling a potato over the sink. "I suppose teenage pique is universal."
"Ma'am?"
"You had a bit of a tiff with your father, am I right?"
The girl looked away. Sarah Jane set down the potato. "Oh, come on now, you can tell me. I used to travel with him, I know how frustrating he can be. And you're his daughter, so he must be even worse on you."
Jenny perked up. "You traveled with him?"
Sarah Jane nodded. "Oh yes. For several years, in fact. Mind you, he was quite a bit older, and a bit less pleasant."
"And did he trust you?"
For a moment, Sarah Jane stared at the girl's smooth face, a little shocked.
"I think he did. I hope he does."
The girl faced her now, her expression inquiring, almost eager. "And how did you earn that? How did you prove yourself?"
The girl asked the strangest questions. But her eyes were so intent on Sarah Jane's that she knew she had to give an answer.
"Well… I suppose…
"Sarah? Room for me in there?" The Doctor popped his head into the room. Luke's high voice cut the air from the living room.
"Jenny? Are you going to bring the drinks?"
Jenny started, turned. "I'm coming!" To Sarah Jane, she said "Sorry, Ma'am, got to go." She set down the pepper pot, grabbed two cans out of the refrigerator, and was out the door. Sarah Jane shook her head.
"What was all that about, then?" the Doctor asked, glancing over his shoulder as he stepped into the room. Sarah Jane shrugged.
"Just a bit of conversation over the cookpot. I notice Jenny inherited your reading ability."
"Yep. Good thing too." The Doctor glanced around the room. "Erm…anything I can lend a hand with? Maybe? Possibly?" His eyes were large and hopeful. Sarah Jane laughed.
"I haven't had this much help in the kitchen in ages! You can chop up potatoes, if you like."
The Doctor's face brightened.
"Right! Your wish is my command."
Sarah Jane stifled a chuckle. "You never would have said that in your other body."
"Ah, well, I grew out of being pompous. No real point in it, is there? I know how good I am, don't need to go acting high and mighty about it." He lined the potatoes up, and began to chop with a bit more enthusiasm than his old friend thought was probably good for him.
"I'm getting rather good at this, you know." He said. Sarah Jane smiled.
"Yes, I heard you could cook now. What brought that about?"
"Oh, having Jenny around, I suppose. She hadn't had most of the foods that I absolutely love, and so Ihad to show her what she was missing. Actually, do you know that cake looks very odd if you forget any of the ingredients?"
"That's why you follow the recipe, Doctor."
"Well where's the fun in that?"
For a moment, they worked in companionable silence.
"Sarah?"
"Yes?"
"How d'you like being a mum?"
She glanced back at him, eyebrows rising.
"Doctor?"
"Just asking. How do you like being a parent, I mean? You doing well with it?"
She considered a moment. "I suppose so. I hope so. What brought this out?"
"Oh, I don't know. Me being rubbish at it. Maybe." The Doctor ran fingers through his hair, sighing. "I just don't know what I'm doing sometimes. She's such a…teenager. Such an adolescent."
He turned away, talking as he dumped the chopped potatoes into the water. "She's quite bright, quick, and so good with fighting that it scares me." He pulled a bag of carrots from her refrigerator. "But there are other things…She's got no patience, for one thing." He dropped the bag on the counter with an audible 'thunk'. Sarah Jane smiled.
"Sounds like someone else I know."
"It isn't funny, Sarah. She…all the time, she's in danger. And she doesn't see that. And she can't see…and I want her safe, but I can't be sure to keep her that way. I try, and we end up fighting. I try to tell her, and we end up fighting. Seems like all we do these days is end up fighting. You ever get this kind of thing from Luke?"
"Actually, I tend to have the opposite problem. Luke rather assumes everything is his fault, and blames himself accordingly. But I wouldn't be surprised if Jenny isn't doing something similar, in her own way."
"Oh? She say anything like that?" the Doctor asked, "Anything interesting? Any girlish confidences?"
"Doctor, if she had shared 'girlish confidences', I wouldn't be telling a man."
"I'm not a man!" he said over his shoulder, his voice hurt, "I'm her father."
"Yes, and I'd have liked my parents to hear everything I said in confidence."
There was a loud clang of pots behind her. Sarah Jane sighed. "It wasn't what she said, exactly, but you can see it in her."
"The fact that she's boiling mad at me?"
She shot the Time Lord a look. "For a brilliant man, Doctor, at times you can be uncommonly lacking in intelligence. Pull out a few teacups. That cupboard, on your left."
The Doctor frowned, opening the cupboard. "All right, what do you see from your lovely feminine point of view, then?"
"That something's bothering her. She's hurt, and keeping it to herself. I don't know how different your psychology is from ours, but from what I see, Jenny's acting like any young lady who's upset. She's angry, yes, but she's also miserable and confused. I'm surprised you haven't noticed it. You'd pick that up better than I."
The Doctor shrugged. "In some ways. Jenny took the lessons on psycho-shielding pretty close to heart. I can't see anything unless I do a bit of prying, which isn't something I'd really like to stoop to."
"But don't you see it in the way she moves? The way she looks at you?"
The Doctor shrugged again. "All she lets me see is anger." He set down two of the three teacups, and glanced down, studying the pattern of the china in his hands.
Sarah Jane took the cup, glancing up at him. His eyes, now that she got a good look at them, seemed so much older than she remembered.
"Then look closer, Doctor. Because you're missing something."
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
After dinner, Sarah Jane asked the Doctor up to the attic to get a bit of advice, discuss old times and several of her finds, while Luke and Jenny claimed places on the couch, chatting and watching movies. They were up most of the night, talking, laughing, discussing and debating.
"Good Lord!" Sarah Jane said, coming down the stairs and catching sight of the clock. "Is that really the time? I can't believe you kept me up so late, Doctor."
"It's only–" The Doctor paused a moment, thinking, "Four hours to sunrise, now. Two o'clock in the morning. Now you said the man had no face? No face, dressed in black? And feeding on chaos…"
"Exactly. But we can talk it over in the morning." Sarah Jane laughed. "Luke and I need to sleep, even if you don't."
"I sleep. Just-"
"Not much, I know. Now you're not flying off tonight. Let me set up one of the guest bedrooms for you, no, I'm not taking no for an answer. I'll put sheets and pillows on the beds right now. Luke-"
"I'm not named after Skywal-" Luke turned. "Mum, am I named after Luke Skywalker?"
"No, Luke, you're not."
"Not that it would be a bad namesake. Rather lovely, those movies. Completely barmy, but lovely all the same." The Doctor stepped over to see the device the boy was working on.
"Ooh, nice work you're doing there. Now have you tried doing this?"
"Luke," Sarah Jane said, "Come and help me set up the spare room."
"Okay. Just a moment…"
Sarah Jane rolled her eyes. Jenny glanced from man to boy, and stood.
"I'll help you. They're busy."
Sarah Jane shot a disparaging look to the couch. "Thank you, Jenny. I don't know where you learned such good manners. Come on, up stairs."
Up the stairs, Jenny and Sarah Jane pulled linens from a closet, walking into one of the spare bedrooms. "You can sleep in here, and your father can sleep right down the hall. Here we are, fresh linen. Hold that end of the sheet." They fitted the first sheet, and spread the second.
"Any bit of technology, hey?" Sarah Jane said. Jenny shot her a quizzical glance.
"I was talking about your father. Any bit of technology and he's distracted for ages. He's always been like that, you know."
"Oh."
She'd gone back into her shell again. Sarah Jane sighed inwardly.
"So, what you were saying about trust, down in the kitchen. Don't you think the Doctor trusts you?"
"No."
"But why do you say that?"
"Because he doesn't." Jenny pulled the sheet tight, threw the blanket on to the bed.
"That's not much of an answer." Sarah Jane chided lightly. Jenny grabbed the pillows, tossing them onto the bed with a bit more than the necessary force.
"But it's true. Wherever we go, it's like he's watching me. Trying to hold me back. I was born a fighter. It's my inheritance. But he doesn't trust me. Not really. He doesn't think I have any ability. He acts like-"
"Like a parent?"
Those lovely blue eyes turned to meet hers. Sarah Jane smiled softly.
"Jenny, did you ever think that the Doctor might be trying to protect you? He's not trying to hold you back, my girl. He's trying to make sure you're safe. I do the same thing for Luke. Any parent would."
For a moment, Jenny stared at her, her eyes wide and so blue that they were nearly black.
"I…it's…" The girl stood, frozen, staring at Sarah Jane with eyes full of pain, frustration, and confusion. Sarah Jane could almost feel it. Then Jenny broke the stare, turned away, and rushed out of the room.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
The Doctor stepped out into the cool evening. The night breeze carried the scent of roses from next door, car exhaust from the street, the peculiar tang that precluded an English rain. Glancing over his shoulder, he watched lights in two of the upstairs rooms go out. Everyone safe and sound in bed. Luke had nearly been dragged upstairs by his adopted mother. A small smile flickered across the Doctor's lips. It had been good of Sarah Jane to offer him a room for the night, but he had slept three hours the night before, and at the moment he wasn't remotely tired.
Hands in his trouser pockets, the Doctor strolled into his friend's small garden, glancing up at the sky. The bright moon hung high above, tipping tree branches and rooftops in silver. Orion was out, and if he squinted he could just make out the off-blue color of a nebulae in the old fellow's sword, twinkling just like another star from this vantage point.
In just a bit, Andromeda was going to come into view. He'd have to find a decent seat to watch it from. The Doctor glanced around; then he paused, his eye caught by something bright.
It was Jenny. She was curled up on the small garden swing, legs tucked underneath her, head tipped back as she watched the stars. The Doctor took a step closer, shielding his presence lest he disturb her. Her face was so young in the moonlight. Young and yearning and so sad. Sitting alone in the silver light, she looked like a small child who'd gotten lost.
The Doctor's brow wrinkled. Sarah Jane was right.
He took a step closer to the swing. Jenny seemed to freeze. Though her posture didn't change, every trace of expression abruptly disappeared. He could have sworn he could see her mask sliding in to place.
Well, in for a penny, in for a pound.
He dropped down on the swing beside Jenny, his eyes fixed on the heavens. His daughter glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, glanced away again.
"You know England doesn't get many nights like this. Mostly it rains."
"Hmm."
The Doctor paused. Then he tried another gambit.
"You got along with Luke fairly well."
"He's nice."
"You know he's a clone too? Or rather a sort of composite chimera. Load of rather unpleasant blokes called the Bane grew him. Still can't figure how they got all the way out here. He tell you that?"
"Yes."
"Rather nice, don't you think?" The Doctor ventured brightly. "You not being the only one."
"Sure."
He tried again. "He doesn't seem to have much trouble at all with it, does he?"
"He has the advantage." Jenny said quietly. The Doctor turned his head, watching her.
"Oh? What makes you think so?"
"He's more intelligent than the average member of his species. A lot more."
"You're no slouch yourself."
"Around humans."
This time he turned to face her.
"Is that what you're worried about? Not being up to speed and all? Jenny, you're doing fine."
Jenny's face registered the barest ripple of emotion.
"Yes, sir."
"Will you quit calling me 'sir'? I'm not your officer. Honestly, people are going to think I beat you or something."
That got him a frosty glance.
"It's a term of respect."
"Not the way you're using it. I don't want you 'respecting' me, I want you to talk to me. Tell me what's going on in that head of yours. I can't help if you won't tell me what's wrong."
She kept her eyes resolutely fixed on the sky. The Doctor glowered at her.
"Enough, Jenny, really. You're acting like a forty-year-old."
"Well I'm not forty!" She whipped to face him, her eyes blazing. "I'm five! No, four. Four years, seven months, twelve days. Maybe if I was forty I'd know what I'm doing! But I'm not! I'm four! And I don't know what's going on half the time, and probably can't understand it anyway. And right now I don't want to worry about it, I just want to look at the stars. So just let it alone, okay?"
The Doctor stared at her, taken aback. "What do you mean, you're not getting it? Jenny, you're-"
She tossed her head, her hair like white flame. "Oh, don't tell me I'm doing fine again. I heard it."
"Then you weren't listening. You have to calm down and listen to me."
"I've been calm."
"No, what you've been is a volcano with ice on top. Now look at me. Look."
She turned eyes on him that burned blue-black, fierce and angry and hurt, too. Her shields were slipping as emotion flooded her mind. The Doctor stared into her eyes, willing her to listen to him.
"I never said that anything's wrong with you. I've never wanted you to believe that."
But you think there is.
"Nobody thinks that."
Liar. Her eyes and her mind were falling open to him, finally allowing him a look. And under the anger and the scorn and the ice, he saw hurt and longing, fear and shame. He saw the thoughts that were beating an incessant tattoo in her head. What he saw shocked him.
"But that's what you've been thinking, isn't it?" He asked, half amazed, "You've been thinking something's wrong with you. Why would you think that you're below par?"
"Stop it!" Jenny tried to raise her shields, glaring back at him. But her emotions made her concentration erratic. The Doctor leaned forward, his eyes deep and wide.
"No, Jenny. Listen to me. I know there are times I get frustrated with you, and there things you can't learn yet, there's a lot that needs work, but you don't need-"
"STOP IT!" Jenny slammed a fist into the seat, then pushed herself off the swing and took off at a dead run, heading for the TARDIS. But he wasn't letting her walk away, not this time. He strode after her.
The TARDIS door banged open before the Doctor touched it, and he strode inside. I need to see her. Now.
The door of her room was right in front of him, down the first corridor. He opened it, stepping inside. Jenny was standing in the dark, her face to the wall.
"Get. Out."
"No."
"Can't you leave me alone?" Her voice was low, rattling.
"Not until we talk." The Doctor said. He walked into the room, standing just behind Jenny. She remained where she was, eyes riveted on a poster of the Eagle Nebulae.
"I already know what you're going to say."
"Well that's a trick, because I don't know what I'm saying half the time. Now I want to talk to you. Properly."
"There's nothing to talk about." She stood stiffly, silver and brittle in the dim light. The Doctor leaned against the wall, watching her still face.
"Oh, I think you're wrong about that. How about telling me why you think something's wrong with you, for starters."
"Because it's obvious. You've made it clear."
"When?"
"Dera sixty-nine. And other times."
"Because I told you to wait?"
"Because you don't trust me." Her voice hitched, about to break.
The Doctor shook his head slightly. "It's not a matter of trust, Jenny. You're a kid, and there are things you don't understand-"
"Then make me understand, goddamit!" she turned eyes like twin tempests on him, boiling with emotion and escaping tears. "I'm tired of not understanding! I'm tired of being a stupid kid! I'm tired of screwing up, tired of being a liability to watch, tired of missing stuff, all the history and the codes and I'm tired of …tired of being…of being…" a sob wracked her chest.
"Of being what?" The Doctor asked softly.
Jenny drew a ragged breath. She brushed angrily at her tear-stained face, staring up at him.
I'm tired of being an echo.
And then he understood.
"Oh Jenny." He reached out a hand, touching her shoulder. "When I said that, when I met you and realized who you were, I just-" now it was his turn to grope for words. He glanced around the room, then back at Jenny. "I used to have a family. And when I saw you, you looked…you look so much like a daughter I had before. And you looked like every young girl I remembered going to school with for a moment. And it hurt, because I knew you weren't those people. I was angry, and I spoke out of that anger. You don't know how much it hurts to be so close to something, and know you can't really have it." He drew a breath, glancing away.
"Yes I do."
He glanced back at Jenny, giving her a weak, sardonic smile.
"Oh yes? And how would you know that?"
"Because that's…" Jenny swallowed raggedly. "That's how I feel. I see you, working with Time, doing these things, and I'm supposed to be able to do them too and I can't. I'm trying, I'm trying all the time and I should be able to and I can't do it! I'm not like you, not like the other…the other Time Lords were…not…" Tears glinted on her ivory skin. The Doctor took both her shoulders in his hands, turning her to face him, his eyes like pieces of the night sky.
"Jenny, you don't have to be. You're a kid. You said it yourself, you're not even five years old yet. You know how long I went to school for? A hundred and thirty years. It was eighty years before I was out of secondary school. Even by human standards, you're very, very young. You have so much time ahead of you. I never expected you to learn everything in your first year. And not trusting you? I hold you out of a fight because I'm afraid for you. Every time you're in the middle of something I feel my hearts jump into my throat. I hold you back so you won't get hurt. It's not that I don't think you can handle it, it's that I don't want you to have to. I'm old, and I know exactly how dangerous the universe is, and when I see you enter a situation it scares me, scares me like you wouldn't believe. There are so many ways a person can die, so many ways you could die, and I can't help but see them. I've lost a lot of people in my life, Jenny. And I can't stand adding you to the list. I can't." He searched her face. "Don't you see? I hold on to you because I love you." Jenny's eyes widened. But there were still doubts flying around in her mind. What if she wasn't good enough? What if she never measured up to her ancestors, to the people they came from? What if she was still behind in five years, or ten, would he feel the same then? He couldn't believe she could think that.
"Jenny, I don't want you to be a graduate of the Academy or a temporal engineer. Or even a Time Lord. I just want you to be Jenny. Just be my daughter. Start there. All right?"
Slowly, Jenny nodded, her mind awash in shock and confusion. But another emotion was rising. Relief. And then a hesitant tendril of joy. She nodded at him, tears still tracking down her face.
"All right." She breathed.
Then she buried her head in his chest. So he stood there, and held her tight.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Sarah Jane cooked a signature English breakfast the next morning, passing the plates round the table twice. Jenny ate as much as her father did, and today she almost talked as much as he did too. They laughed and grinned, nearly emptied the marmalade jar and bantered over who would get the last piece of bacon. Sarah Jane smiled. Whatever had been wrong, it was certainly put right now. The next three hours flew by, full of jokes and stories and conversation. Soon it was midday, and the Doctor said they'd need to get going.
"If we hurry, there's this quasar about to be born, and they're absolutely magnificent to see. You and Luke want to have a look?"
Sarah Jane smiled, and shook her head.
"Not today. We've got a very odd case of some singing stones off the Dover coast that I promised Luke we'd investigate today."
"Singing stones?" the Doctor quirked an eyebrow. "Sounds rather…" he shook his head. "Nope, none of my business." They stepped out Sarah Jane's front door. Luke and Jenny came up behind them.
"Father, can I show Luke the TARDIS before we go?"
The Doctor considered a moment, then shrugged.
"Well, why not. We've still got time."
Jenny grinned, a lovely expression that lit her face.
"Come on then." Luke followed her, grinning fit to burst as well.
Standing together, the adults watched their children walk away. Sarah Jane sighed happily, and glanced at the sky, which had begun to turn a bit grey.
"Looks like we're in for a bit of a squall."
The Doctor tipped his long, lean body back, staring straight up.
"Ah, yes it does. Good old England, can always trust it for a bit of percipitation. But it'll blow over soon, no doubt."
"Yes." She mused, smiling up at her old friend. "One thing you can say for storms. They always blow over in the end."
The Doctor nodded, and drew a deep breath of the rain-scented air. He smiled, looking over the street.
"That they do."