Chapter 8 Support

At breakfast the next morning, they were informed that it was Sunday and they were expected to attend church. It was a short walk and Jeffrey limped reluctantly to the church next door. Bogg followed Jeff into a rear pew.

As he sat down, he looked around at the people gathered. This was a place of peace, he could feel it in the air. Once in awhile, he found a church like this during his Voyages, but not often enough. He relaxed and sighed, closing his eyes, and giving in to the peaceful vibrations around him. So often, he didn't have time to recover from one voyage, before he was thrown into another. He rarely got the chance to sit still in such a safe, peaceful place. He took a slow, deep breath. He didn't have to think about what to pray for. When he found a place like this, he always prayed for the same things, wisdom and humility. This time however, he added another prayer and he knew it would be one he would always include. He thanked God for giving him Jeffrey, to care for and to love. Since meeting Jeff, he had realized how empty his life had been without him.

He watched as Father Ed walked up front to start the service, and suddenly he somehow understood that this wasn't a crisis of faith, there was plenty of faith here. This was a crisis of vocation. Father Ed needed to run that new orphanage. He'd thought he'd known it before, but now he was certain. Somehow they had to make that orphanage a reality; the way Father Ed envisioned it.

As the service progressed, Phineas saw out of the corner of his eye that Jeff's shoulders were slumped down and his eyes stared at the floor. He kept his gaze off to the side, toward the wall. Bogg suddenly knew, as surely as if the words were written out, that something reminded Jeffrey of his parents. This had happened before, sometimes happened when he least expected it. Phineas reached out and touched his shoulder and almost immediately, Jeffrey moved closer and leaned his head against the side of Bogg's chest. Phineas could tell he had been crying, but not the usual sobs, in fact Jeff's shoulders weren't shaking at all. He was simply sitting there letting tears fall down his cheeks in silence. Phineas squeezed his shoulder and they sat together until the end of the service. This was a new reaction, one Phineas hadn't seen before.

He knew it might sound stupid to someone else, but the truth was that his heart ached when Jeff was suffering because he was suffering too. It was strange to think that just over a year ago he hadn't even known Jeffrey, and yet now he cared about him so much.

"You okay?" he asked Jeff as they continued to sit in the quiet sanctuary after the service ended.

Jeff didn't answer. He reached up and wiped the tears from his face and took a deep breath.

Phineas decided to try again, "do you want to talk about it?"

Jeff shook his head, then stood up and limped away from his partner without saying a word. Phineas was upset, Jeff had never shut him out before. He still wasn't sure what had been going on last evening, and now this. He watched Jeff leave worriedly.

"You okay?" Phineas was startled by a voice nearby. He looked up and saw that Father Ed was sitting sideways in the pew in front of him, undoubtedly so they could talk.

"Yeah," he whispered.

"Jeffrey seems upset," he observed.

Bogg nodded, and before he knew it, he was telling him Jeff's story. He ended with, "so I don't know exactly what's bothering him now, but he usually talks to me. I don't like it when he won't talk."

"He may not know how he feels himself," Father Ed said kindly. "I saw you sitting together and he was leaning on you for comfort. I wouldn't worry about his silence."

"I think it's the music. Something about the music is making him really," Bogg paused, not sure what he wanted to say, "sad," he finished softly.

"I know it's hard not to worry, but I've been watching him, and he's interacting with people, he's friendly, he seems to be doing fine. I take it that fighting is not usually a problem with Jeff?"

"No, I don't know what got into him last night."

"Well, anger is one part of grieving. If something is reminding him of his parents, it's not surprising that he feels angry. And angry people get into fights. Tony is a very angry boy. That wasn't the first time he's started a fight. I'm sure Jeffrey is fine."

Bogg shrugged, "I just wish I could figure out what to do to help him."

"You are helping him," Father Ed said quietly.

Bogg shook his head, "I doubt that."

"You're giving him unconditional love and affection. That's why he's free to grieve like this. You don't realize what a blessing you are to him. I see children like Jeff all the time, and most of them are very angry. Many of them don't have someone who cares as much as you do. Even those that do, still can't seem to begin the healing process." Father Ed paused, "so if you're not his father, are you his uncle?"

Bogg hesitated, he never quite knew what to say to questions like that. Usually he would let the lie stand and pretend Jeffrey was his nephew. For some reason, he decided to tell Father Ed the truth.

"We were accidentally thrown together in an emergency and we spent a lot of time together. I take care of him now, we're like family."

Father Ed stared at him, "you took in a stranger? A child you didn't know? One who was grieving the loss of both parents?"

Phineas shrugged, "well, it was either that or send him back to his aunt who didn't want him and told him so, or leave him in an orphanage. I just couldn't do it. Anyway, by the time the emergency was over, we felt so close that he didn't want to leave me either."

"So you just …", Father Ed paused and a long silence ensued.

"Stayed together, yeah," Bogg filled in the answer.

Father Ed sat in silence pondering what Bogg had said. "I wonder if Jeffrey knows how lucky he is?" he finally said.

"I feel like I'm the lucky one," Bogg whispered.

"Well, the Lord does work in mysterious ways," replied the priest.

Bogg sighed, "I guess I'll go make sure he's okay," and he got up and walked through the side door of the sanctuary, directly into the rectory. The kitchen was empty and he continued into their bedroom but found no sign of Jeff. He began to worry. Jeff had been upset, and he needed to find him, but where would he go?