CHAPTER 3

House waited until Cuddy was sleeping peacefully, then he quietly slunk out of the bed, dressed, and snuck out of the room. He wandered down to the lobby and approached the front desk.

"Hi!" he smiled at the attendant, putting on the friendly face that made him feel like his features were cracking a little from underuse of those muscles. "I'm here for the medical conference and just saw in the program that my old med school buddy is presenting tomorrow. I wanted to say hi and wish him luck. Any way you could tell me what room he's in?" he asked her, trying to be charming.

"Sure!" she said, smiling at him. "What's his last name?"

"Bauer," House replied. "Peter." The woman started typing into her computer.

"Dr. Bauer is in room 4002," she replied.

"Thanks bunches!" House said in a syrupy tone, limping over to the elevator.

When he made it to 4002, Bauer was just coming out of his room. "Peter!" House exclaimed, like they were old friends. Bauer looked startled, then wary.

"House," he said. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to congratulate you on your paper presentation. Isn't it nice when hard work and dedication pay off like that?" House exclaimed, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Cut the crap, House," Bauer snapped. "I know you're here to defend your little sidekick, but I don't give a shit about either of you, so don't waste your time."

"So hostile, Peter," House tsked. "I'm just here to try to talk some sense into you."

"What are you going to do, House?" he asked. "Some childish prank, I suppose, and then go hide in Cuddy's skirt."

House blinked at him. "It's obviously been a while for you, Peter. Hidings not generally what you do when you're in a woman's skirt. But since you seem to be pretty aggressive about this issue, I guess I'll have to be too."

"Are you threatening me, House?" Bauer asked, laughing a little. "Cuz I'm pretty sure I can handle myself with a cripple."

House narrowed his eyes at him. This guy was an ass. "You sure about that, Bauer? I got a big stick." Bauer looked at him, trying to read him. "Don't worry, dude. I'm not a bully. But I am an evil genius, so you might want to reconsider what you're doing to Wilson."

"Look, House, I'm going down to the bar to unwind a little. You can come play mind games with me there if you insist, but I don't want to waste my evening standing in a hallway trading wisecracks with you." He strode confidently down the hall. "I'll race ya'!" he laughed, running in place in front of House. "But if I have a lady at my table," he called over his shoulder as he walked away, "Make yourself scarce."

House watched him walk down the hall and board the elevator. Then he pulled out his cell phone.