Chapter Five

Mal and the crew stood outside the infirmary tent waiting to see if Connor was going to make it. A secret part of Mal wished he'd been the one to mess up Connor's face. And Mal thought that little idiot was good enough for River. Bastard wasn't good enough to look at her.

"Sonovabitch is lucky I didn't shoot him," Jayne growled.

Mal glared at him. They'd been in Khonsu not one gorram day, and Jayne was already making trouble.

"Captain Hypocrite," River muttered under her breath.

Mal swung his glare towards River. "Did you really have to kick him when he was already down? Twice?"

"Yes," River said simply.

Zoe laughed. "Hell, Captain, you would've kicked the boy, too."

"Damn straight," Jayne said, nodding at Zoe.

Simon was wrong. This, right here, was what going mad felt like.

A medic came out of the infirmary. "Well, he'll live. He's got a concussion and he'll not be as pretty as he once was. But other than his ego, there'll be no lasting damage."

"Too bad," Jayne said softly.

"Thanks, Doc," Mal said, glaring at Jayne.

A Browncoat officer came out of the infirmary as well. "Seems Connor in there claims y'all tried to kill him." He looked over at Jayne and River. Jayne put a protective arm around her shoulders as she leaned into him. Mal saw that she was actually reaching for one of Jayne's guns. Just in case. The officer gave a short laugh, probably catching sight of Jayne's portable arsenal. "But I figure, if that were the case, why, the gorram kid wouldn't be talking at me at all." He gave another nervous laugh. "I gotta know, though, for the record, how the fight started?"

Jayne scowled, going into his silent mode. Like if he stared at the fella long enough, he'd forget that Jayne was the one in trouble.

River looked the officer straight in the eye. "He was verbally abusive and making threats against my person."

The officer nodded. "I won't be pressing charges. Not that, you know, I could arrest you and get away with it anyway," he said. "But I would be obliged if you refrained from beating out new recruits to a bloody pulp? At least on their first day here?"

"So long as they have more manners than Connor, I think we can manage that," River said.

The officer nodded again and started walking away. He turned, as if he'd forgotten something. "I'd be careful, though. Kid's powerful angry. I wouldn't be surprised none if he tried to retaliate."

Kyle Connor did have a powerful temper. Before now, Mal had always considered it one of the boy's better assets. That was when it had been turned on the Alliance.

"We'll be careful," Mal said, nodding at the officer. He turned to look at Jayne and River. Jayne was more relaxed now that the officer was gone, but they hadn't moved apart. "Well I don't care how rude they are, you can't go around beating up all our allies."

"Connor ain't an ally," Jayne said. "He's an asshole."

"Verse is filled with assholes!" Mal nearly screamed. "You gonna beat them all up?"

"Thinking about it," River said, glaring right back at Mal.

Mal didn't care. They had to realize that not everyone was going to accept them. They were already famous. Reputations were working against them. Mal figured Connor's outburst was only going to be the first of many fights for River and Jayne.

"And I'll bet you a million credits that most of those fights, Malcolm, will be instigated by you," River said. She pulled Jayne away from the group and added, "We'll be in Jayne's bunk."

Mal stomped away from the base infirmary, not sure where he was going. He couldn't actually stomp back to his ship now. It was being taken over by a pair of sex-crazed moonbrains, and he really didn't want to think about what they were doing there. He walked back to the main road down the middle of the base and headed for the living quarters. He figured he'd see how the Browncoats were planning on making the crew of Serenity feel welcome. He didn't make it very far before Inara called his name.

"You've got to stop doing this," he said, turning.

"Where are you going, Mal? Gonna find yourself another mercenary so you can kick Jayne off the ship?"

"I don't know why I listened to you! I should have trusted my instincts and thrown Jayne out the airlock a long time ago! She never used to be this, this - " Mal searched for the right word. "Bothersome. Something he's taught her."

Inara shook her head. "No, Mal, it's something you've taught her. She recognizes the right thing when no one else does. Used to be you liked that about her."

"How's being with Jayne the right thing, exactly?"

Inara shrugged. "She's following her heart. I for one admire her bravery. She saw what – who – she wanted and she went after it. Him. It." She looked Mal right in the eye. "Of course, if Jayne had any sense at all, he'd have gone after her a long time ago. Instead of wasting time worrying about what other people would think."

She took a step closer to him, and Mal got the impression she wasn't just talking about River and Jayne anymore.

"Why do you keep following me, Inara?" Mal asked, the anger gone from his voice.

"Someone has to keep you out of trouble, Mal. You know, make sure you don't kill off your crew one by one." She smiled slightly.

"You don't think I'd have the sense to leave at least a couple of them alive?"

"Mal, I don't think you have any sense at all."

Simon chose that moment to come up to them and ask Inara for advice about something.

"Speaking of people without any sense," Mal nodded at Simon. Inara gave a short laugh that made Mal forget for a minute that he was ready to throttle most of his crew.

"I graduated in the top - "

"Three percent. Yeah, I know. So, tell, me how is that helpin' ya with Kaylee?" Mal didn't wait for Simon's response. He doubled back to the infirmary tent, where Zoe was still milling around, sizing up the place. "I think we ought to have the crew split up and get a feel for this place," he told her.

Zoe nodded. "I was just about thinkin' the same thing, Sir. Something about this place," she shook her head. "Seems a might strange to me."

"Right, we'll give everyone a chance to rest up a bit, then hit the base tonight."

That night, Kuan-yin came by to take Kaylee around the base. Inara tagged along. Simon was not invited. The doctor opted to stay on the ship.

General Geller offered herself as a guide to Mal and Zoe, to which Mal replied, "If it's all the same to you, General, we'll find our own way."

"Suit yourself, Captain," she said, smiling. She turned to River and Jayne. "How about you two? Or would you rather be alone as well?"

"Actually, we wanted to meet the other top officers," River said. "Your key members of the underground?"

No, she didn't. She wanted to spy. Mal shot her a disapproving look. She didn't need to spy on anyone.

"That can be arranged, " General Geller said, nodding. Her smile faded. River was making her nervous.

"On second thought, I think the Captain would prefer if Jayne and I spent more time alone," River said sweetly.

"No, no, by all means, socialize with the local leadership," Mal said. Just don't get accused of witchcraft and get yourself lit on fire.

River gave him a fake sweet smile.

Geller smiled nervously. "Very well, then. Afraid there aren't many of us. But they'd all be happy to meet you," she said as calmly as she could as she led River and Jayne away.

Mal glared at their backs. This was ridiculous. He certainly hoped this little romance was going to be over soon. He held onto the hope that River would wake up, realize Mal was always right, leave Jayne alone, and start following his gorram orders again.

As he and Zoe started walking away from the ship, Mal noticed Zoe was looking at him rather strangely.

"There something I'm doing that's bothering you, Zoe?"

"There is, Sir."

"Then spit it out. I don't fair well with games."

"Well, Sir, you're being an ass," Zoe said calmly, as if she were pointing out that Mal had something in his teeth.

"Come again?"

"You gotta stop, Sir. They're together. You just have to deal with that fact. I won't let you drive a wedge between them."

"Shipboard romances." Mal shook his head. "They're complicated."

"Only because you make them that way, Sir," Zoe said, looking away.

"This is different, Zoe," Mal said, knowing Zoe's mind was back on Wash.

"Don't rightly see how, Sir."

"This is River and Jayne we're talking about here. That match can't end well. Most likely, they'll turn and kill each other eventually, and then where will we all be?"

"Enjoying the show, I imagine," Zoe joked. "The only difference in this situation is that River never follows your orders, while I, save one order you had no right to give, always did."

Mal stopped to look at her. He remembered the look on her face when she told him she and Wash were getting married. The look told him that if Mal messed things up, she'd have to kill him. Probably slowly and painfully. She had the same seriousness about her now in defending Jayne and River.

Mal sighed. "All right, Zoe. I will try to be less of an ass. And I promise to do my best not to throw Jayne out the airlock and end this moonbrained craziness. That's my best offer."

"I'll take it, Sir."

"All right, then. On a different matter altogether, anything about this place strike you as odd?"

"In point of fact, Captain, everything about this place strikes me as odd."

"I can't quite put my finger on it yet, but ever since we got here, I've just got a bad feeling about the whole thing. Like this ain't quite right."

"Why would they establish a Browncoat Underground on a planet with an Alliance Academy on it?"

"That is one of the questions pounding away at my brain. Gotta figure they didn't know." The base illustrated years of work and dedication to the cause. How could they have not found out before doing all this?

"You think that's likely to be true, Sir?"

"Hell, no, but it's the only answer we got at the moment. Unless - "

"They did it on purpose for some reason. In which case, Sir - "

"We're the some reason. Or, more point-like - "

"River's the reason."

Mal nodded. "Not that it ain't a noble venture. Liberating an Alliance Academy and all. More than that, it sounds downright fun."

"We have done worse jobs for worse reasons," Zoe admitted.

Mal nodded. They were a strange bunch, but they were Browncoats. They were on the same side.

Mal and Zoe spent another hour or so walking around the base, getting the layout down in their heads. These Browncoats were certainly ready for a war. The base was set up like a grid, and although it looked like there were thousands coming through the base, Mal realized very quickly that only a fraction actually stayed there. There were at least three dozen elevators scattered across the base, and Mal had to wonder what the hell this place was before the war. Three elevators were large enough for ships and vehicles. The others were normal sized or smaller. One looked about the size of a cortex booth. A lot of planning had gone into this place, and if you didn't have a guide, Mal doubted you could find your way anywhere but where you'd already been.

By the time Mal and Zoe made it back to Serenity, the rest of the crew was already engrossed in an animated conversation around the kitchen table. Jayne was standing, looking incredibly angry. River was pacing up and down the room, speaking very fast, in short bursts that made little sense to Mal.

"You can't aim people and fire them on their creators and tell them they are free!"

Mal hadn't seen River this agitated since her first battle. "What's all this about?" he asked the crew.

River muttered at him in Chinese, spun and turned around into Jayne's chest, where she started crying.

Mal blinked. "Anyone? What happened?"

"River found out why we're here," Jayne said calmly, rubbing River's back as she cried. "And we don't like it much."