Oh, I'm going to have so much fun with this! You are in deep, deep fan fiction trouble, my dear pig in a wig…

Dudley grinned as he punched the little eleven-year-old in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. The boy wheezed and gasped as Dudley's gang laughed cruelly. "Please, I'll give you my money! Please!"

Big D swelled up with arrogance as he tucked the coins and notes into his pocket. Piers Polkiss, his gang "deputy", snarled, "Don't you forget, Jaffers. Big D rules these streets!"

"Oh, the hell he doesn't. Come on… what's your name?" The little boy looked up, still gasping slightly for air.

In front of him stood a thin teenage boy. His unruly black hair was sticking up in all directions. Above his vivid green eyes was a strange scar.

The teenager smiled slightly and gently pulled Jaffers to his feet. He managed to whisper, "Ch-Charlie Jaffers. You're Harry Potter, the one that D-Dudley and his gang used to beat up at school."

Harry nodded, smile fading away slightly. He said, "Yes. But I've changed since then."

Dudley laughed nastily and cracked his knuckles, advancing with his gang. "Changed, have you, Potty? Oh well, it's still fairly easy to beat you up."

Harry looked calmly at Dudley and said, "You think so? All right. You and I, have a fight, right here. No weapons or protection. Just fists against fists."

Dudley faltered and said, "No… none of that stuff?"

Harry grinned maliciously and promised, "None of that stuff, Duddykins."

The stocky boy took a deep breath and nodded. Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out a small grey water bottle. As he downed it, Harry gave a grimace. Dudley squinted slightly and caught a glance of a label on the bottle. Re'em something. Re'em? What was that?

Harry threw the bottle into a nearby bin. Dudley saw a trace of red inside the bottle. The black-haired teenager grinned and said, "Just needed a little drink. Good juice, that."

Piers yelled out, "Face each other!" They both did so. "Three… two… one… FIGHT!"

Harry just stood there, grinning at Dudley. The older boy snarled and leapt forward, fists aiming for Harry's nose. Harry waited until he was close enough, and casually swatted Dudley aside.

Dudley flew into the bin, making a loud crashing sound. He tried to stand up, but failed. How was Harry, the puny teenager, doing this? Dudley staggered upright, head spinning. For a second, he looked into the bin and saw the bottle again. Re'em Blood, owl delivery from Slug and Jiggers Apothecary. What the hell?

Harry strolled over, still grinning that infuriating grin. He picked up Dudley with one hand and started spinning him around. As Dudley whirled around like a top, Harry murmured in his ear, "No magic, Duddykins. Just some very interesting blood from an animal. Now, I'm getting bored and I want to end this quickly. What say you, Dinky Duddydums?"

Suddenly, Harry leaned forward and threw Dudley straight at a brick wall. His thick head smacked against the hard bricks, and Dudley let out a small moan before he drowned in unconsciousness.

Harry bent down and rifled through Dudley's pockets, retrieving a lot of money. He handed Charlie's money back, gave them all a friendly grin and wandered off whistling. Charlie quickly ran back home to tell his parents of his good fortune

Behind Harry, the heavyweight boxing champion slowly stirred to his senses. As Dudley opened his eyes, he swore angrily and shouted, "I'll kill that moron, I will!"

Piers slowly said, "Uh, Big D? You got a giant bruise on your head."

Dudley reached up and felt the bruise. He burst into tears and bawled, "Mummy!'

I don't like Dudley. He had a few minutes as a human in Deathly Hallows, but that's it.

Hmm… I just took the meaning of "bashing" up to a whole new level… bashing by bashing! See you in an hour, everyone, and thanks for following!