Well, here's a tricky one! I like Molly. She's a nice, motherly character, but she DOES have a few points that I can inflate and pick on mercilessly…

I'm kinda doing this in secret. Luckily, tomorrow's a Saturday so I can afford to stay up. Thanks for staying up with me, charcoal! I'll win this if it's the last thing I do! *evil grin*

Harry set down his luggage in the hallway of 3 Grimmauld Place. Molly hurried up to Harry and enveloped him in a giant hug. "Hello, Harry! You're looking thinner every year! They're not feeding you very well at your relatives, are they? Well, no matter!"

Harry gasped for air as his face turned blue. Molly squeezed him tightly for a few more seconds, then let him go. Harry crumpled on the floor, puffing desperately for air. Molly looked down at him, eyes wide, then scooped him up and bodily carried him into the kitchen.

She bustled around the kitchen, waving her wand madly and preparing what looked like an entire table of food for Harry. As she worked, she screamed up towards the twin's bedroom, "FRED AND GEORGE! WHAT have you done to Harry? He looks DEAD on his feet! He went blue and collapsed! Ohhh, you two had better get down here RIGHT NOW and tell me what you did!"

Harry groaned and doubled over, clutching at his ears. He was sure that his eardrums had burst. To top it all off, he was still air-deprived.

Molly hurried over with a giant bowl of soup and started ladling it down Harry's throat. As she worked, she soothed, "It's alright, Harry. I'll have the twins down to get rid of whatever they did to you, see? Now eat up!"

Harry choked on the boiling hot soup, his face returning to its previous tinge of blue. Molly ignored it all and started forcing a whole steak and kidney pie down Harry's throat. Suddenly, Sirius entered and saw Molly feeding Harry to death.

Sirius whipped out his wand and shouted, "Petrificus Totalus! Anapneo!"

Molly Weasley's limbs snapped together and she fell slowly backwards, toppling to the floor. Harry sighed in relief as all the forced food was quickly cleared and sent to his stomach. He grinned at his godfather and said fervently, "Thanks, Sirius. Thought she was going to kill me then."

Molly finally broke the charm and heaved herself to her feet. Glaring, she snarled at Sirius, "What do you think you were doing?"

Harry interrupted. "Saving me from being fed to death by you, Mrs. Weasley. I'm sorry, but it's the truth."

The matriarch of the Weasley family stared and mouthed words, but no sound came out.

The not-so-starved teenager laughed cheerfully and dragged his luggage up the stairs with the aid of Sirius, leaving a gaping Molly Weasley behind.