Okay. Now I'm kinda cranky, 'cause I'm… *sigh* getting sleepy. So this is going to be a short one, and probably not all that good either.
We have Mad-Eye Moody to humiliate now!
Mad-Eye slowly clanked his way up the steep flight of stairs. They were warded to make sure that if the person walking up them didn't have a wooden step every two steps, the stairs would flatten and send the intruder sliding into the carpet. Right where someone would slide onto the carpet was a small green pattern of dragons; if pressed, this would open a trapdoor and send the person tumbling into a prison cell, only able to be released by Mad-Eye Moody from the outside.
Also hanging on the wall besides the stairs was a set of Foe-Glasses and regular-looking mirrors. The simple mirrors scanned the face of the person walking up the stairs to make sure that they had one magical eye. If they didn't, magical pepper spray would shoot out and blind the intruder as he or she walked up the stairs.
Mad-Eye's whole house was warded similarly with booby traps that only he knew how to avoid. The grizzled old man heaved a sigh of contentment as he finally reached his bedroom and fell fast asleep, exhausted from the day of Death Eater hunting.
The next day, Mad-Eye clunked his way back down the stairs and Flooed to the Ministry of Magic, hoping that they had some new Death Eater reports.
"Ah, Auror Moody. Just the man I was looking for. Come on in and have a chat!' The Minister of Magic said jovially, gesturing to a door.
Mad-Eye stalked cautiously closer. Whipping out his wand, he cast several spells that he deemed necessary, before he finally entered.
The Minister sat down at a table and leaned forward conspiratorially. "Auror Moody, we have received a tip-off from one of our contacts of a possible Death Eater gathering. However, in order to get close enough to them, you have to change your appearance."
Mad-Eye grunted. "Just give me the Polyjuice Potion, then.'
The Minister shook his head and said, "Oh, no. We need you to be you, except with a few differences. A new eye, for example, and a new leg. Perhaps a few adjustments to your nose would also suit this mission. Will you accept these changes?"
A few hours later, Mad-Eye walked out of St Mungos with a new nose, new eye and a new leg. He entered his home to pick up a few things before he left on the mission.
As he walked up the stairs, his paranoia was triggered. The stairs suddenly flattened and pepper spray covered the old Auror. Mad-Eye roared like a wounded lion as he landed in the prison cell that only he could open, and only from the outside.
Days passed. An automatic food supply was sent down to Mad-Eye as he tried to work out how to unravel his own wards. Finally, 1 week, 3 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes and 23 seconds later, Mad-Eye was freed from his own prison.
Of course, karma's lesson on paranoia only made Mad-Eye more paranoid than ever before - except with an added paranoia of paranoia.
Even I can tell in my sleep-deprived state that that is one horrible chapter. Ah well, stuff it all. I'm going to take a nap!