Alright, next chapter! Thanks for the reviews so far; i completely appreciate them -- they're very encouraging. I'm glad people are liking this story. I'm far along with it so reviews def encourage met to add updates sooner =)

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He's....Something
And no where else has every felt like home
And I can't fall asleep when I'm lying here alone
I replay your voice, it's like you're here
'Retrace' by Anberlin
___________________________

"He's thought you had a boyfriend this whole time?" Paige laughed while she and Natalie grabbed lunch on campus.

"Yeah but he knows the truth now"

"That explains why you haven't gotten together yet……actually, no it doesn't," Paige frowned.

"Maybe he knew I'd get upset if he tried and I had a boyfriend?…I dunno"

"But you did kiss him that one night," Paige reminded her.

Natalie shrugged, sure she'd never understand what went through Billy's head at any given time.

"Yeah…I dunno"

"Girl, he likes you…"

"Don't say that"

"You like him"

"Don't say that"

"Why?" Paige laughed at her again .

"Because…because I can't"

"Like him? You can and you do…what is it -- wrong side of the tracks?" Paige dared with a grin.

"No, wrong side of the moral campus maybe. Besides, part of me is afraid of being some conquest. Like…some college chick to bang and laugh about … … is that weird?"

"Nah, it's legitimate…but he's put too much time into it now for it to be that, I think. Besides, he could always just be a conquest to you, too. A walk on the wild side just to say you've gone there," Paige suggested once again even though she knew Natalie wasn't buying that line.

She never considered Natalie a prude or anything, but it was fun to watch her squirm and get flustered when she suggested this of her and Billy.

"I can't just do that"

"Why?" Paige dared her to admit.

"Because…I know I'll get all emotionally invested," Natalie sighed.

"So you do like him," Paige beamed at the idea -- it was so untraditional it might as well be forbidden, and Paige found it exciting.

"Sometimes I don't think I know him well enough to like him…there's just something about him…"

There was something about him alright. Something a little scary about him knocking on her window in the middle of the night.

Natalie jerked awake but couldn't decide right away what had woken her. A quick look at the clock told her it was 2:52 and she rolled back over, writing her wake-up off as a fluke dream. That is she considered it a dream until there was a knock on the window.

She'd come to assume that sound to be Billy, but at nearly 3AM she was none too pleased to hear it. Couldn't he see that her light was off and assume she was asleep? She considered ignoring it but doubted he'd leave.

Frowning all the while, she clicked on her lamp and shuffled to the window.

"What?" she asked dully after pushing it up.

He didn't say anything and just pulled himself in.

"Billy, come on, it's three. Did you really --- are you okay?"

His face was half-darkened and she wasn't sure if she was seeing what it seemed like she was seeing. She turned her full light on, making both of them squint.

"Oh my gosh --- what happened?"

He had a black eye forming and blood was running from his nose.

"Nothin'"

"Nothing?"

"It's not a big deal," he shrugged, peeling his coat off.

"Oh, right, you're just bleeding…"

"Ya worry too much"

Natalie shook her head at his attitude and took his arm to lead him to the bathroom.

"Come here"

Billy let her direct him to sit down on the side of the tub and he feigned annoyance with her even though he didn't care that much.

"Is this your blood?" she frowned, pointing to the back shoulder of his shirt.

"Yeah," he sighed, carefully shedding the shirt before the instructions left her mouth.

"Jeeze…what happened?"

"Scraped it on some brick"

"But what happened?"

"Tommy and me got in a fight with some wise-asses," he shrugged.

"Is he alright?"

"We're both fine"

The scrape wasn't bleeding freely but it was raw and Natalie dug around for a bandage that was the right size and spread ointment on it before carefully putting it on to keep it clean. She didn't seem to know what to do then, just that she wanted to do something, but she eventually wetted a wash cloth to just clean away the dried blood.

Billy had really paid no heed to his bleeding so it was run down from his nose and some had dripped on to his chin. His nose itself was still tender, so he instinctively shied away at first but Natalie gently pulled his head back and kept it there, carefully wiping blood away with the damp cloth. He remained still and silent then, except to move his arm to slip his hand around the back of her knee and slowly rub the soft skin with his thumb. Her legs were bare to him since she was wearing shorts with her long-sleeved shirt. With his hand now on her, Natalie had to work hard to ignore how close she was standing to him and the fact that he was currently shirtless in front of her.

"Take better care of yourself the next time you're out," she sighed, finishing up with him.

"I gave worse than I got. Trust me."

She nodded slowly.

"Do you want ice for this?" she asked, running a light finger under his eye.

"Yeah, that'd be good," he nodded, eyes on hers.

His hand slid away from her slowly as she stepped way and she descended the stairs as quietly as she could to get some ice in a bag and a dish towel. Upstairs, she found Billy back in her bedroom and she set the ice in his waiting hand.

"Are you okay?"

"I told you -- ya worry too much," he grinned, staring down at her.

She stared right back and his gaze was soon on her lips as they unconsciously gravitated slightly closer. He ducked to kiss her quickly, but they both knew it was coming. He dropped the ice carelessly and wrapped his arms around her. He was pulling her to him and moving to kiss her jaw but she caught the grimace when his nose brushed her cheek.

"Wait…I don't want you to bleed or something…" she pulled away, brushing a finger gingerly over the tip of his nose.

"I'm fine," he tried to insist.

"It's too late anyway. We both need to sleep; you woke me up"

"Right…ya look sexy with your hear all messed up like this," he smirked.

"Go to bed, Darley," she ordered, hoping she wasn't blushing; she bent to grab his ice anyway incase she was.

He didn't argue, kicking off his shoes to fall into bed on his back and place the ice carefully under his eye so it was also resting on the side of his nose.

"Now I can't move the covers," she sighed, tugging on them to get him to move.

He groaned in annoyance but maneuvered so the covers were draped over him so that she could get them over herself the way she wanted.

"You need to start getting into fights at more convenient times," she informed him.

He laughed a little at that since nothing about his life was particularly convenient.

Natalie settled in on her side of the bed and, since she wasn't sure if it sent the wrong message to cuddle up to him while he was half-clothed and hurt, she didn't make an effort to move closer. She did fall asleep easier than his last unexpected visit, and when she woke up it was to find she had cuddled into his side a little sometime during the night.

She turned her alarm off immediately and carefully removed herself from him. He cracked an eye open but when she waved a hand at him to go back to sleep he didn't try to argue, just rolled over towards the place she'd been laying and dozed back off. She took all the things she needed with her to the bathroom and tried to stay as quiet as she could.

"Woo-wee, look at you…"

Natalie blushed a little when she reentered the room and he was awake, laying on his back with his hands tucked behind his head. She was wearing a pencil skirt and a tight red dress top with her hair pulled back in a high, business-like ponytail.

"I have to give a presentation today," she explained.

He looked her over again and nodded approvingly. Some kind of librarian fantasy was forming in his mind from the look of her and he liked it.

She took a seat on the edge of her bed and surveyed him with a sigh.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Don't worry about it," he grunted, sitting up.

"What about your shoulder?" she nodded, trying not to notice his naked chest, which was bared to her now that the blankets had fallen.

"Don't worry 'bout that either"

"You can't show up at my house bleeding and expect me not to worry"

"I've seen a lot worse nights," he shrugged.

"…that doesn't make me feel better,' she smiled a little.

"No surprise there…"

He cupped her chin and kissed her without a lot of warning, mostly to distract her and shut her up. Her lips were soft and he slid his hand around to the back of her neck to pull her head forward to deepen the kiss. He wished her hair was down so he could bury his hands in it, but those thoughts were distracted by her own hands touching his skin, smoothing over the back of his head slowly and down along his neck to rest on his shoulders. After a few long moments she retreated slightly to look over his face. She was looking for answers, some kind of assurance, but she wasn't sure what she saw behind his black eye.

Her eyes landed on the scar beside the corner of the abused eye and she reached to trace it with a careful finger, then the one on the bridge of his nose. They were old but clear.

"What happened?"

"Bar fight; I got a bottle busted across my face," he told her evenly.

"…a bottle on your face," she echoed quietly, trying to imagine it.

She rested her forehead on his chin, closing her eyes to think that over because it probably wasn't that out of the ordinary for him. If she was letting him further into her life, could she handle that? Fights, dealing, guns, and whatever other street things she'd never paid heed to before…that was his life and it was starting to look like she needed to decide if she wanted any part of that --- and soon.

Billy took her face in both hands impatiently and brought her face back to his, kissing her surprisingly softly. Her thinking halted and she responded to the kiss, leaning in and not even stopping to protest when Billy pulled the band from her hair. He pushed his hands into her long, dark tresses and she wound an arm around to the back of his head in return. There was no hair for her fingers to find purchase in but her nails raked over his scalp lightly and he groaned. His hands left her hair and grabbed her hips instead to lift her over to straddle his lap. His hands then splayed over the soft fabric of her shirt and tugged at the sides of it to get her closer.

"Shit," she mumbled when she heard her phone ringing in the bathroom and dragged her mouth from his.

"Ignore it"

"I can't; it could be Joel…he's in my presentation group," she added with Billy frowned.

She kissed him lightly and then got off of him, hurrying to catch the call. Billy heard her talking and she didn't return when the call was over so he got up to investigate. He found her working to fix her hair, huffing when it wasn't cooperating like it had before.

"Leave it," Billy simplified for her, shifting to lean a shoulder on the door frame.

"It's a mess," she shook her head.

If it was a mess then Billy thought it was a pretty hot mess, but he just stayed quiet and watched. He made no secret of watching, either, eyeing the way her shirt rose with her arms and almost exposed her stomach. She glanced at him a few times but even then he didn't look away; he had no shame and he'd watch her if he wanted to watch her.

She, however, looked away shyly. He'd never been around a girl who was shy and modest. All the girls he was ever around anymore were very blatant about what they wanted -- be it drugs or sex -- and were quiet about neither, so he wasn't totally sure what to say. What he was becoming more sure of, though, was that it was sexy as fuck. Frustrating, maybe, but sexy all the same to get the hint she wanted him but to turn around and not have her right away. He knew where she came from so he already considered her pretty innocent -- maybe naïve in some ways -- but this shy role made he exponentially so. And if he didn't already want her in his bed he definitely did now.

And he decided he liked that she was concerned for him even though a part of him was annoyed that maybe she thought he couldn't handle it. She'd taken care of him for nothing and in his case that was, to say the least, rare. It had taken him a while to get used to the way she treated him -- like a friend and not a means to an end. He didn't really get that anymore, especially from girls who were either scared of him or wanted something from him (to be fair, he'd always gotten what he wanted from them, too), and he liked it of her. It made him want to make her his…

"What?"

He snapped out of his daze and looked up into her face. He saw her hair was now pulled back satisfactorily again.

She had a small smile on her face, perhaps she was amused he'd zoned out like that. How long had it been since someone had smiled at him that way? With innocence behind it, not seduction or deceit? It was a smile that didn't want anything from him…

He just shrugged in response to her question.

"What're ya doin' tomorrow?"

"Babysitting Logan after classes…we'll be here if you want to come over; my parents will be out most of the evening…"

Billy made a face; he wasn't exactly a pro with kids. Jamie had a kid with an old flame, so Billy saw her once in a while when Jamie had her, but that was his only recent experience and it's not like he was actually playing with the little mini-person.

"Friday?"

"I don't know"

"You and Paige should come to the bar…Baggy probably misses her anyhow…"

Natalie rolled her eyes at the mention of Baggy, who really did have a soft-spot for Paige.

"Fine, come without her if ya want," Billy shrugged.

"No, we should be able to come"

He nodded approval and she looked away to smooth down her shirt before trying to leave; as he was in her way, she didn't get far. He took the proximity as an advantageous time to run a finger over her lips, then down her chin, neck, and over the front of her shirt down her stomach. She grabbed his hand when it got near the bottom of her shirt, unsure just where he'd go, and he smirked. She smiled back and rose up on her toes to kiss him softly, licking his lower lip before lowering and stepping around him to go find shoes.

"You gonna get dressed?" she asked, nodding at his state of half-dress.

"Why? This bother you?" he asked with a smug look. "It does, doesn't it," he hummed in amusement when she just scoffed and kept looking for the shoes she wanted.

Billy crossed to her closet and turned her to face him and grabbed her hands to pull them to his chest. Natalie felt something…felt a little aroused by it and wanted to feel more but she tugged away.

"Billy, I have to go soon,' she reminded him, taking a small step back.

"Ya don't want to," he informed her, gazing down at her.

She averted her eyes and shrugged before looking back up to him.

"But I have to. School's waiting and class won't wait forever"

"So you're sayin' I can wait," he sighed, resigned to losing this.

"Pretty sure," she nodded. "You're a big boy."

He seemed to find this amusing as well and sauntered off to grab his shirt. He'd win this battle some other time, he knew, but whatever this presentation was, it sure sounded like it was going to be important.

"You have no idea," he murmured, tugging his shirt down over his head.

Natalie pretended to be ignorant to the suggestion of that statement and gathered her things for class.

"Don't have time to make breakfast this time. Sorry."

"It's fine. I should get to the office anyway t' check on the boys," he waved away the apology.

"Gonna stay out of trouble?"

He narrowed his eyes and snapped his teeth at her and let himself out the back door while she checked for coffee her parents might have left over. She didn't feel too bad about his departure and filled up a cup with coffee that she could take in the car.

"Cartoons! Cartoons!" Logan cheered.

Natalie watched his blonde hair flop around while he jumped from cushion to cushion on the couch and smiled. She liked having him around to watch and since her parents weren't around tonight to watch him, too, she didn't feel bad putting-off school work to play with him. Julia, her sister-in-law, had a work dinner and Natalie and her parents were first-call for free babysitting.

"Yes, we're going to watch cartoons. We can watch all night if you want to."

He just smiled happily and kept jumping. She figured her parents would make him stop but his shoes were off so she didn't care. Besides she was his aunt so she could spoil him if she wanted.

He finally sat down after a little bit and they watched a few cartoons and played some games. She was helping him build a little block house when there was a knock on the door.

"Somebody's here!" Logan announced happily, though he didn't move to get up from playing to go investigate.

"Yeah, I'll get it," she grunted, pushing herself up.

She spun around when she got halfway to the door because there was another knock and it was from the back, not the front. Sure enough, Billy was at the sliding door.

"Hi"

He grunted and leaned down to kiss her when he got in.

"Hey"

"You alright?"

"Sure"

"…you look upset."

"Just a long day…"

"Dinner time?"

Both adults turned to see Logan peeking around the breakfast bar.

"You want dinner…how about Mac n' Cheese?"

"Yum! …can we now?"

"I have to make it first. Do you want some fruit snacks?"

He nodded his head so she left Billy where he was, eyeing Logan calculatingly, and got a little fruit pack from the cabinet.

"Hi," Logan waved up at Billy.

"Logan this is my friend Billy"

"Hi Billy," Logan smiled, trying out the new name.

"Say hi," Natalie whispered, wondering if that was too much to ask; she doubted Billy ever saw much of kids.

"Hello"

It was a little forced but it was alright; if nothing else, Logan accepted it.

"Alright, I'm going to make dinner"

"Billy, wanna see Nemo?" Logan asked since they'd put in Finding Nemo a while ago.

Predictably, Billy made an unfavorable face.

"…could you?" Natalie asked carefully.

He gave her a look that practically screamed "what the fuck."

"Maybe I should just leave," he sighed deeply, feeling agitated and slightly uncomfortable.

"No, it won't be long…I'm not asking you to play with him, just sit out there and make sure he doesn't break anything…or himself."

"…ya got a beer in that fridge?" he nodded to the refrigerator.

She smiled and grabbed one, holding it out to him for him to snatch on his way to the living room.

"Help, Aunt 'Lee," Logan pouted, tugging on the packet erratically.

"What do you say?"

"Will you help, please?" he asked sweetly, so she bent to tear the corner off.

He scampered off to the living room and she got macaroni and cheese ready to go. Once it was boiling, she peered into the living room.

Billy was sitting on the couch with his arms spread out to rest over the back of the couch. Logan was standing on the cushion next to him but Billy was facing forward, probably hoping he'd go away. Logan made a grab for his beer, but Billy just yanked it away and switched it to the other hand.

"Not for you," she heard Billy instruct.

Logan didn't seem phased and popped a fruit snack into his mouth before holding one out to Billy. Billy sighed and eyed the snack, finally taking it once he decided it would be simplest -- God forbid the kid start to whine. Logan hopped happily once or twice and then reached out for Billy's face. Billy leaned his head away a little bit but Logan still reached his goatee, scratching the facial hair curiously. Billy brushed his hand away but Logan hummed and reached back, rubbing his jaw. With an exasperated sigh, Billy quickly snatched Logan's wrist.

Logan started in surprise and Natalie began to move forward but then Logan just started to giggle a little. Billy rolled his eyes and let him go.

"Maybe you should sit down, kid"

Logan quickly dropped to sit and Natalie smiled at the pair and went to finish the food.

"Yayyyy," Logan cheered, running in when she called him in to eat.

"Hold on; I just have to find your fun bowl," Natalie told him, rummaging in the lower cabinet for the bowl with Spiderman on the bottom.

She heard Billy trudge in, too, and felt him slap her ass -- rather hard -- on his way by. She stood quickly and meant to glare at him but could only stifle a grin at the hot look he sent her.

"Nat-lee!" Logan chanted impatiently.

She got his food in front of him and let him eat all he wanted before he excitedly went to finish Finding Nemo while pretending to be a scuba diver.

Natalie cleaned up while he did all that and Billy was close to bailing, but Logan was tuckered out and instead of wanting to play he requested Monsters Inc. Logan cuddled-in on the couch under a blanket and Billy pulled Natalie down into an armchair with him so she sat across his lap.

"Billy…I like you," Logan announced.

"Oh, well, that just makes my fuckin' day right there," Billy muttered to Natalie sarcastically.

"Shhh," Natalie snickered, putting a finger over his mouth. "That's nice Logan," she told him.

She watched him lay back down and turned back to Billy when he bit the finger she'd been silencing him with.

"You have to be nice," she whispered, leaning in and slowly pulling her finger back.

"I been nice all damn day," he growled back, tightening his arm behind her to pull her closer and cover her lips with his.

"Mmm, yeah you have," she agreed after a few moments, dragging a finger along his jaw, which was covered in short stubble.

"So ya should be rewardin' me," he encouraged, cupping the back of her head to pull her back to him for a longer, deeper kiss.

"Are you giving kisses?"

"Fuck," Billy breathed.

"Yes," Natalie chuckled, resting her forehead on his.

"What's so funny?" Billy groaned.

"Logan; he's cute"

"Adorable," Billy rolled his eyes, relaxing back against the chair.

Natalie ignored the sarcasm and settled in against his chest and watched the movie, which she'd seen before.

"You can't change it?" Billy asked quietly after glancing at Logan and thinking he was asleep.

"No," Logan whined sleepily, kicking his feet against the cushions.

"What he said," Natalie nodded with a smile. "You don't like it?"

"I haven't really been watchin',"

"Then how do you know you don't want to?" she teased.

"It's little fuckin' monsters runnin' around"

"Don't swear so loud," Natalie reprimanded lightly, trying not to be annoyed since Billy lived a life that clearly involved few to no children.

Billy ignored the chastisement and kissed her, burying his hand in her long hair. He kissed her slowly, dragging his eyes open to take a glance at Logan to make sure he wasn't paying attention. He kept once hand at the back of her head and slipped the other up the leg of her jeans, caressing her calf lightly. Natalie wrapped an arm around his neck and smoothed her other had over his scalp.

Billy skillfully moved his mouth to trail kisses along her jaw and behind her ear, and he removed his hand from her jeans, pushing it up her leg to sneak it up her shirt and skim her side.

"Billy, Logan's in here…"

"He looks asleep," Billy told her, voice muffled by her neck. "Hmm…doesn't he have a crib or somethin'?"

"No, he doesn't sleep in a crib…anyway, Julia will ---" she broke-off for a moment as he went back to suck on her throat when she'd started to move her neck. "She'll be here soon to pick him up."

"Not soon enough…" he whispered, lips brushing her ear.

"…and my parents will probably be back soon."

"…you're tryin' t' kill me," he cursed.

"You can come back later if you want…"

"Can't. Heco's been fuckin' around lately. I ain't trustin' him to not fuck up a night on his own," Billy scowled, sitting back again.

"…is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah -- I just gotta hold his hand," Billy sneered. "He's been pissin' me off, so tonight I'm makin' myself his shadow."

Oh…well be careful," she felt compelled to add.

"Yeah it's nothin'…routine"

"Still," she urged, continuing to rub her thumb over the back of his head.

He nodded ruefully and pulled her hand from his head.

"I should get goin' before your folks get back…and I could use a smoke soon…"

"Alright"

She hopped up and walked him back to the back door.

"Tomorrow?" he checked, a lighter already in hand.

"Yeah"

"Good"

He gave her a last, hard kiss before slipping out into the night.

It was good timing, really; Julia was there about 20 minutes later to get Logan.

"Was he good?" the tall blonde asked.

"Yeah, we played some games and watched a couple movies."

"Good…did you have fun?" Julia asked the sleepy Logan in her arms.

"Uh-huh," he nodded slowly. "And Nat-Lee made lots of kisses."

"Oh, she gave you kisses?" his mom laughed.

"No, not to me," Logan giggled at the idea, much to Natalie's displeasure.

"Natalie Elizabeth Shepherd…did a boyfriend stop by?" Julia rose an interested eyebrow.

"I'm sorry -- I didn't know he was coming; he just stopped over…and I wouldn't really call him a boyfriend," Natalie added quickly.

"Don't apologize, just give me the details. Is he hot? Come on," Julia laughed.

"He's…I don't know what he is," Natalie sighed. "Hot?…yeah," she smiled a little; granted it was in a rough, dangerous kind of way instead of a traditional way, but he was hot nonetheless.

"Nice…and the parents?"

"They don't know," Natalie told her quickly.

"Got it…keep me updated?" Julia waggled her eyebrows.

"Sure"

"Alright --- hope you see him again soon. Good night."