HEYYYY thanks for the reviews and i've liked seeing how many people have checked out the story. here's the 9th chapter; let me know what you think =)

The Reality of It
Don't you know by now
You can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have
'Fences' by Paramore
_______________________________

Natalie's eyes cracked open the next morning but closed quickly when they perceived the light. She didn't want to get up and she stretched tiredly, letting loose a soft sigh as her muscles pulled comfortably. As she shifted she became aware of the dull ache between her legs; she was a little pleased with it.

She heard a deep exhale next to her and felt something move around her waist as Billy flexed his arm around her. She mentally recounted the night, lingering over the highlights, feeling rather happy about the whole thing. Billy moved around a little more; his arm left her waist and she felt a finger on her eyelid.

"I know you're awake"

His deep voice was slightly rougher from just waking up and she obligingly opened her eyes, smiling a little.

"Good morning"

"Mornin'," he grunted back, smoothing some hair from her face to give her a short but deep kiss.

He laid back, then, to just look at her. He didn't typically ever wake up to a girl still in his bed after a night of sex. They weren't usually looking to sick around and he certainly wasn't looking for that either. But it wasn't as if he'd expected to kick Natalie out of his bed…this was nice. She'd become once face he didn't mind seeing.

"What?" Natalie asked curiously, an extra softness to her voice courtesy of drowsiness.

"Nuthin'," he shook his head, tracing her lower lip with his finger.

They laid there another couple minutes before Billy rolled over onto his back and slowly sat up to throw his legs over the side of the bed. He ran a hand over his bald head and opened a small drawer on the table next to his side of the bed, fishing out a cigarette and a lighter.

"Fuck," he muttered when the lighter wouldn't spark to life and he threw it into the small wastebasket with a clang. "Coat….shit," he groaned as his eyes scanned the room.

"Coat's out there I think," Natalie pointed out the door to the living room.

Billy sighed and hauled himself to his feet, stepping into his jeans and hitching them up on his way out. Natalie watched his back, muscles moving as he stretched, and smiled.

He reappeared into the room lighting-up and he dropped something white on the end of the bed with his other hand. Her shirt. She smiled again as she remembered it being shed.

Billy stood by the window, shoulder resting against the frame, and just looked out at nothing. Natalie was now laying on her back and she watched him, longing to know what he was thinking. He looked back at her over his shoulder with a scrutinizing kind of look and turned his gaze back to the window shortly.

Natalie had an abrupt notion of "this was it." What if he wanted her to leave now? It was morning, which meant it might just be time to get the hell out. The thought woke her up a little more and she sat up, resting her back against the plain headboard and took care to make sure the sheet was pulled up over her chest. She drew her knees up towards her and bit her lip, thinking.

She wanted to say something but his body language suggested he was already agitated so she didn't want to needle him. Maybe she should just get dressed to go…

But his behavior the last few weeks or so didn't really suggest that he was going to kick her out as soon as he could. He kept coming around, told her she was different…

Maybe she just didn't know anything about him…but she liked to think she did, at least a little bit…

"So… …you my girl or what?" he finally asked, breaking the silence.

"… …I don't know," Natalie responded after balking at first.

"Fuckin' great…"

"Well what am I supposed to say?" Natalie asked as her heart raced and she fidgeted slightly. "We haven't talked about that and…well, I mean it would have to be a real relationship or I can't. Ya know…monogamous…"

He nodded slowly and rubbed his chin before looking over to stare her down.

"I can do that," he decided and announced.

He didn't actually know from experience that he could, but if he wanted to he was sure he could. Besides, if Bodie could do it, so could he -- Bodie didn't have anything he didn't have.

Natalie soaked that in, knowing without him saying that it wasn't a declaration he typically made.

"Have you done it before?" she checked -- after all, she'd seen the women the guys were usually around.

"… never tried," he shrugged.

"Never?"

"Nah, never had a need -- I'm clean, if that's what you're thinkin'," he scoffed.

She hadn't actually been thinking that, although it was nice to know. She'd been more concerned thinking about how he'd never had a deeper connection beyond friendship. She didn't know if this would be easy for him…she wondered if it would even be able to work…and his lack of knowing how to commit wasn't necessarily even half of it.

"Billy…we're so different…"

"Ya think I don't fuckin' know that?" Billy snapped.

"No, of course you do," Natalie sighed, leaning her head back to stare up at the ceiling and think; she supposed this had been a longtime coming but she'd been avoiding thinking about it.

She rolled her neck to look over at him and he was staring hard out the window.

"…I mean it…no other girls."

He turned his head slowly and raised an eyebrow as he looked down at her.

"No other guys," he told her lowly.

"Obviously"

Billy nodded and looked back outside. This conversation was so unlike him; it just wasn't the kind of talk he had, but he knew it was the kind of talk she'd have to have if this was going to go anywhere…and he needed it to go somewhere.

He couldn't just let her waltz on out of his life as casually as she'd accidentally fallen into it. He didn't want to have to think about that…didn't want to go without the calm and comfort of her. After some observation he decided that was much how Bodie and Angela were, so if this "committed relationship" relationship was how he got to keep her, he could do that. As he'd decided, if Bodie could do it then he, Billy Darley, could. Come hell or high water, he could make something as common as a relationship work. Right? Right.

"…could this even work?" Natalie asked softly.

They were so different, so theoretically incompatible…hell, maybe incompatible period. Their lives were so different.

"Why the fuck not?" Billy shrugged.

If he wanted something, why couldn't he just get it?

Natalie could think of reasons, including his unpredictable temper -- she'd certainly seen that flair up before -- or his possible inability to commit, her unfamiliarity and possibly naivety to his life, her parents...but she was drawn to him and that she couldn't deny…

"No reason…"

He turned fully towards her now and dropped his cigarette forgotten into the ashtray on the dresser. He stalked over to the bed and bent to kiss her, hands on the top of the headboard. She wrapped an arm up around his neck, her other hand holding the sheet in place still, but he was soon tugging that away. He stood up to shuck his pants right back off and then climbed back onto the bed and pulled on her ankles slowly until she slid down onto her back, legs parted beneath him.

In the end it was her on top this time and afterwards she slowly lowered herself to lay down, still on top of him. His hands skimmed over her back while they regained their breath. Once their breathing evened out, Natalie lifted her head to kiss his neck and then rested her head over his chest. She could hear his now-steady heartbeat and let herself be lulled by it into a light doze.

She was gently roused by a quiet noise, which she momentarily figured out was a vibrating cell phone. Only because she'd never known Billy's phone to not be on ring, she assumed it was hers and lifted her head. Billy was awake and looking back at her, one hand now playing in her hair and his other hand tucked comfortably behind his head, but he didn't look overly concerned.

Natalie pushed herself to sit up, shifting so she wasn't directly over his hips. She raised an arm unconsciously to cover her breasts and ran her other hand through her tousled hair to decide where her pants were. Billy bent a knee up to nudge her and point to the right side of the bed.

Sure enough, she twisted to lean over the edge and saw her pants, which her phone was stashed in the front pocket of. She dug it out and moved back to the bed, curling onto her side. Billy groaned and rolled over, too, wrapping an arm around her to pull her closer.

Natalie found two messages, both from Paige. One was from about a half hour after leaving the bar and the other from just then. The first was asking her where she went and the recent one was a more simple: Hello?

Natalie grinned; she was pretty sure Paige knew where she was. If she hadn't assumed it then Baggy had likely guessed, complete with colorful visuals.

I'm at Billy's apartment

Moments later:

Haha. I knew it. Was it good?

Natalie bit her lip not to laugh.

I'll talk to you later when I get back

"Fuck that -- why didn't ya tell her it was better than ya couldda imagined?" Billy chuckled.

"You don't know what I can imagine," Natalie teased.

"Oh? That right?" Billy growled; she twisted her head to see he was amused, though. "Cuz I couldda swore you were lovin' it…pretty sure ya loved it enough ya came once, twice, t----"

He began to count down what he'd done to her since bringing her home, but her phone rang so she twisted around fully, laughing, to cover his mouth.

"Hey Paige"

"You bitch," Paige's laugh came over the line. "You'll talk to me later?! When's later going to be anyway?"

"I don't know…this afternoon. Whenever. I have to come get my stuff."

"Right…make it soon!!"

"Yeah, bye"

"Well someone's got a perverted friend who wants details," Billy snorted. "She not gettin' any herself?"

"She's just joking and her boyfriend doesn't live around here"

"So why don't she just fuckin' get with Baggy. He goes on about her enough -- Christ," Billy complained, rolling onto his back.

Natalie shrugged and sat up and looked around for her underwear and moved to the end of the bed to grab her shirt Billy had brought back in for her.

"The fuck," Billy groaned, sitting up and twisting onto his knees to be able to reach her arm and pull it from her chest. "Why do ya do that -- cover up?"

Natalie blanched, unsure how to answer since she hadn't really thought about the fact that she'd done it. It had just seemed right…

"I…" she shook her had, shrugging.

"I've already seen…and I like," he added.

"I noticed," Natalie nodded, blushing.

"I'm not coverin' myself up," he added to his argument.

"I noticed that too," she chortled.

"…alright. So what's the big deal?" he twitched his shoulder in a small shrug, considering the point made, and dropped back against the bed again.

Natalie finished gathering her clothes anyway and slipped out to go use the bathroom. She redressed in her clothes from the previous night and pulled her hair up into a messy ponytail since it was tangled a little and she wanted it out of her face. She rubbed at her slightly-smudged make up and walked back out into the apartment, finding Billy in the kitchen with another cigarette in his mouth and clad only in jeans, which were hanging low on his lips.

"…don't gotta whole lotta food around right now," he informed her without turning around, scratching at his stomach as he surveyed the open cupboard.

Natalie opened the refrigerator to check that and found it, too, held relatively little food.

"Lot of alcohol, though"

He nodded , unconcerned, since to him that was completely normal.

"Cereal seems safe," she suggested, spotting a couple cereal boxes on a shelf when she stood behind him and slipped her arms around him.

"…dunno if the milk's good," he warned, grabbing the cheerios and wheat chex.

"Dry cereal seems safe," she amended, resting her chin on his back while her fingers traced his abs blindly.

"…there's a diner a couple blocks over if ya want," he decided to offer since she was probably used to better breakfast; he remembered the food she'd made him the first time he crashed at her place.

"No, I don't care; I'm just hungry"

"Yeah? Ya work up an appetite?" he asked, turning around with a smug smile.

She smiled back up at him coyly, much to Billy's amusement. He had a box of cereal in each hand and held them up, letting her pick the Chex.

They ended up on the couch and Billy turned on Sports Center.

"…wanna catch the hockey scores," he explained, catching her surprised look. "Don't like hockey?"

"No strong opinions either way," she shrugged, reaching into the box for another handful of cereal.

He nodded and turned back to the TV, scanning the screen and catching any bits they did about the games. Natalie watched but she wasn't really invested in any of if so her eyes were soon on Billy instead. She scanned his solid profile and, certainly not for the first time, wondered what went on in that head of his. Not then, precisely, just at any given time.

She wondered, sometimes, how and what he felt…how did he connect to other people? She could only imagine the things he'd done…the things he'd continue to do, and she wondered what doing things like that did to people. She knew he must've done some horrible things -- her eyes stopped on the scar by his eye and remembered horrible things had also clearly happened to him, too. He'd closed off, that much was obvious. But how much? When he watched a movie, could he empathize to characters? Could he understand her life and empathize with the things she went through when almost everything he'd ever known was so much different?

"What?"

She jumped a little when he addressed her, head turned in her direction, but she brushed it off and turned back to the TV for a little bit. He appeared to forget about it easily so she turned back to him again soon enough, after a moment reaching up to ghost a finger over the scar.

His eye twitched in surprise and he grabbed her hand to lower it. He narrowed his eyes at her curiously, but she hedged explanation again and kissed his chin before relaxing further into the couch and keeping her eyes on the screen this time.

She didn't have to feign interest long because he checked his watch pretty soon and sighed, running a hand over his head.

"I gotta go soon. Shit t' do…"

"Okay," she nodded, not completely surprised.

"…I can run ya over to Paige's if ya want, I'm just gonna take a shower first. Wanna join?" he invited.

"…I don't want to make you late," she teased.

He frowned but conceded the point, taking a quick shower. When he was finished, clean and in new clothes, he found her watching some local news and saw she'd put away their cereal 'Real romantic meal, Darely,' he laughed at himself; she hadn't seemed to mind, though, so he didn't think on it any further.

"Alright, let's go; I'm sure Paige is just dyin' t' see ya," he announced, grabbing his keys.

The ride to Paige's apartment was short and before she got out he grabbed the back of her head to tug her into a heated kiss. He didn't let go of her right away, eyes skimming over her and landing on the hickey he left on her collarbone. He ran a finger over it and Natalie thought he looked awfully pleased with himself, not that she was displeased with him herself.

"…see you."

"Bye"

She slipped out of the car and rounded it onto the sidewalk, hopping up the front steps to buzz-up. When she got the responding buzz she pulled the door open and flashed a small wave to Billy, who was still at the curb and on his phone. She turned back and almost literally ran into Baggy.

"Well looky here…"

"Hey"

"Hey yourself…those clothes look familiar," he laughed playfully. "Good timing me callin' him when he's droppin' you off after a long night, huh?" he asked, gesturing to Billy who was now off his phone and Natalie put it together.

"Hurry your ass up!" Billy called to him, waving Baggy on.

"Comin'…nice hickey," he parted from with her a wink.

She reached out to swat his side but he dodged out of the way with a bark of laughter and jogged down the stairs to the waiting mustang. Smiling, she caught Billy's eye and he nodded her way before she turned to enter the building.

Paige's door was ajar and Natalie let herself in.

"Well helloooo there," Paige sing-songed, stepping to stand in the kitchen doorway, hands on her hips. "Good thing my Aunt's gone, cuz I want every single detail."

Natalie joined her in the kitchen, perching on the counter, and filled her friend in, though she hardly gave every detail.

"He's big then?"

"Yes," Natalie chuckled.

"Nice…his girl, huh?" Paige recapped, testing out the sound of that.

"Yeah…don't approve?" Natalie winced.

"I wouldn't have egged you on if I was just gonna do a 180 when you guys finally got it on…it's still just surprising…"

"Right…Billy Darley has girls but he doesn't have a girl," Natalie nodded, resting her head against the cabinet.

"But you like him, what else matters…you do like him right?" Paige checked. "I'll take that bashful smile as a yes…then so what? If it makes you happy right now, then what else matters?" she decided.

Paige couldn't deny that the actual reality of her friend with some gang lord did cause an inkling of doubt and uncertainty, but then again Natalie felt the same small doubt. It was natural, given the nature of things. Still, they'd managed this long with the guys and gotten a feel for them; nothing had gone wrong yet so she was optimistic. Besides, she'd seen the way Natalie looked at Billy and the way she got flustered when she talked about them…it was worth a shot.

Okay, hope you enjoyed.
School's out so maybe/hopefully i'll be able to update pretty quickly and regularly. yay.

Anyway let me know what you think