Author's note: This is another favorite chapter of mine. I guess I just like the longish ones (: Some of you might get mad at the ending, though. Cause Pam is thinking one thing, and just totally changes her mind in like two seconds. You'll see what I mean when you read it. I mean, I tried not to write it that way, because it didn't seem very realistic, but in the end I decided to keep it. Because it's probably my favorite part so far. She's just confused and in love! hahah. I don't know. But it's my story, right? :D Hmmm I also added a teeny tiny little part in the middle from Ryan's perspective. I think that's everything you need to know about the chapter. So...
Author's note part 2: Thanks so much for all of your reviews/messages giving me advice about the story. I greatly appreciate it :D But after I posted that little freak-out-session, I checked what I had written for this chapter, and realized that the story kind of picks up right now. So, that was kind of unnecessary. But regardless, thanks for everything, reviewers. You guys are the best!
Author's note part 3: Okay, this is my last author's note for this chapter hahah. But I thought maybe those of you at Office fanfiction would understand this better than anyone I've talked to about it. Have any of you seen the little promos for tomorrow's episode? Cause I did. And I am FREAKING OUT! hahah. Apparently either Michael or Jim is gonna be demoted to a salesman. And oh my gosh, I can't handle it! At first, I didn't want either of them to be demoted. But now, I kind of want Michael to stay manager. Because, that's the show, right? Michael's kind of a moron, but somehow he was still put in the position of power. And if he gets demoted, it won't be the show anymore. I don't know. I have a feeling it'll be Michael that has to be a salesman again, because it'll mean fresher storylines and whatever. But I just miss Salesman Jim. He's so lame now. Ugh. Who would you rather see stay on as manager?
Who knows. Maybe they'll both be demoted and Dwight will become regional manager. Welcome to Hotel Hell!
Enjoy the chapter (:

"So," Ryan sighed, interrupting their silence. "How many people do you think will even come to this thing?"

Pam groaned and shrugged her shoulders. "Probably not very many."

"Then… why are we here?"

"You think this was my idea?" she questioned, tossing a package of fifteen paper plates into their shopping cart. "Can you just grab the paper towels so we can get out of here?" He nodded slowly, taking a roll. "Um, get like three more."

"What? You only got fifteen plates!"

"Ryan," she looked at him for the first time since their parking lot excursion. "Michael is making pancakes. Do I really need to explain to you why we need extra napkins?"

"Got it," he laughed, seizing an armful of heavy-duty paper towels. "Think this will be enough?"

She reached over to silently count the items emerging from his grip. "Six rolls?" she smiled. "Yeah, that should do it. Hopefully." He grinned back before stumbling toward her, letting his arms drop the overflow of objects into the cart.

"Okay, before we go, I wanna check out the--"

"Ryan!" a voice called out, interrupting their conversation. Pam watched as he slowly turned around to find a short, mini-skirt-wearing girl calling out to him.

"H—Hey, Monique…" he called back, and Pam held in a laugh as the color drained from his face. He spun around to face her, his eyes swimming with slight fear. "Please get her away from me." Pam hardly had time to react before 'Monique' made her way toward them.

"Oh my God, what are you doing here?" the tiny girl called again, much louder and more high-pitched than before. Ryan's eyes widened when she put her perfectly manicured hand on his. "I haven't seen you in forever," she continued, oblivious to Ryan's squirm at the sound of her voice. "Not since our amazing weekend in Fort Lauderdale!"

"Fort Lauderdale?" Pam questioned, raising her eyebrow. Ryan shrugged, although Pam couldn't tell if it was in response to her statement or to shake the high-pitched twenty-year-old off of his arm.

"Why haven't you called me?" she whined, gripping his bicep more tightly. He winced. "You said you would call, but you didn't. Why, Ryan? Why?" He shrunk under her piercing gaze, and Pam was suddenly reminded of Ryan's past relationship with a completely different girl from the office. For some reason, she decided to take pity on him and stepped in.

"Hi," she announced, but the little blonde girl pretended not to hear. "Hi," Pam said again, more forcefully. This time, both Ryan and his little wanna-be girlfriend turned to look at her. "I'm Pam. Ryan's fiancé." Their mouths dropped open, and Pam reached her left hand out to grab his, making sure to show off her diamond engagement ring.

"You're his what!?" Pam couldn't help but giggle. "Ryan, is this true? Are you really getting married?" He stood still for a moment, continuing to stare open-mouthed at his coworker. She squeezed his hand a little, trying to snap him out of the daze.

"Um…. Yeah." He looked ready to continue, but the preppy girl wouldn't let him.

"What the HELL, Ryan! When did this happen!? You know, it's only been a couple of weeks since we were together in Florida!"

"Yeah," he sighed, slowly coming out of his stupor. Somehow, he couldn't shake his gaze from Pam's hand in his. "Well, being with you only made me realize how much I love Pam, I guess…"

"Aw, baby," Pam cooed. She hoped that 'Monique' wouldn't sense the obvious fake tone she was putting on. Ryan looked up at her and smiled. They stayed like that, holding hands and staring into each other's eyes, until their third wheel strutted over and slapped Ryan across the face.

"I can't believe you, Ryan Howard," she spit out before storming off. Ryan whimpered and rubbed his cheek until Pam managed to catch his eye once more.

"Oh my God, Pam!" he exclaimed, pulling her in for a hug. She was immediately surprised by his reaction, but found herself wrapping her arms around him anyway. "That was amazing!" he laughed, picking her up and twirling around in the middle of the supermarket.

"Not a big deal, Ryan," she sighed when he set her down.

"No, seriously," he drew back to look into her eyes. "I can't thank you enough. You're the most incredible girl I know." She smiled softly for a moment, closing her eyes. A tiny voice in the back of her mind warned her to pull away, but being in Ryan's arms again provided more comfort than she remembered. After a few moments, he cleared his throat awkwardly and she opened her eyes, dropping her arms from his. "I, uh…. I should go look at th-- at that… that, uh, thing…" he trailed off, walking away to an unknown destination. Pam sighed.

She looked into their cart and decided that two rolls of paper towels would suffice, rather than the seven they had, and placed the excess onto the shelf before wandering aimlessly down the next aisle. Somehow, even though he hadn't left the building, her trip to the supermarket had become less of an adventure and more of a chore with Ryan gone. She mindlessly browsed the shelves and waited for his return.

What are you doing?

The question hadn't stopped running through Ryan's mind since he abandoned Pam in the napkin aisle. He ran a hand through his hair as he stormed farther away from where she was. She's engaged, Ryan. Engaged! He paused then, choosing to lean against the shelves and prayed they wouldn't tip over. She's engaged… to Jim. To Jim. The one guy Ryan knew he could never compete with. The one guy that interrupted his and Pam's "relationship," if you could call it that, the last time. The one guy that continued to ruin Ryan's life, even though he didn't know it. You will never have her, Ryan. Let it go.

That thought pierced through all the others running in his mind. He will never have her. He never really had her before, even. Not really. Sure, they had gone on many dates, and she spent more hours at his apartment than he could count, but she was never really his. They never had the "relationship" talk. They never disclosed anything to HR. And at the end, she didn't think she was doing anything wrong when she… "No,"he sighed, collapsing onto the ground in the middle of the supermarket. Too hard to relive.

She never belonged to him. Jim always had her, and he always will. All Ryan had, and could ever have, were minuscule moments with the girl he knew would always have the biggest piece of heart. Ryan groaned with that realization and stood, deciding that he couldn't ignore her forever.

"Hey," he announced, suddenly appearing by her side once more.

"Hey," she grinned, only glancing at him for a second before turning her attention back to the shelves in front of her. Apparently, she had ended up in the candy aisle. She could feel his eyes on her as she pretended to search through the bags of sweets.

"You know what I miss the most about Receptionist Pam?" he softy questioned, interrupting their uncomfortable silence.

"No," she tried to sound nonchalant, not wanting him to realize that his presence alone was making her weak. Adding his voice to that, well. Pam felt like fainting. "What?"

"The candy."

Confused, Pam looked up and searched his eyes for any sign of "candy" being a metaphor for something else. Maybe he wanted to say that "candy" was a symbolic gesture for their entire relationship, or maybe it was meant to be an inappropriate reference for a couple parts of her body. But as he stared back, small and helpless, she found nothing. "What?"

"You know," he nudged her. "Sneaking up to your desk and stealing Starbursts. Now that you're Saleswoman Pam, I don't get to do that anymore."

Ah. "Candy" was a metaphor for something else. "So you miss hanging out at my desk," she supplied.

"Nah," he smirked. "I just miss the candy." She rolled her eyes and grabbed a sack of Starbursts, dropping them into the cart below. Ryan's eyes followed the small bag until they plunked into the wire basket beneath them, and his face twisted into a confused expression as he looked around the remainder of their shopping items. "Wait… What happened to all the paper towels!?" She laughed softly and said she had put them back. "Ugh, Pam! Wait right here."

"Ryan," she called out to him, but he was already out of the aisle. "We don't need that many!"

"It's Michael!" he shouted back. She giggled softly; he must have been three aisles away, but he continued their conversation as though they were the only two in the store. For some reason, the thought made her feel special. Like she had while Jim was in Stamford. No… Not when Jim was away. Jim makes me feel special. Just… this morning. He did something this morning, right? Of course. Jim makes me feel special every. day.

"Ryan!" she yelled in return. She wanted to follow him and tell him that two rolls of paper towels would be good enough. She wanted him to argue back, and grab as many rolls from the shelves as possible and throw them in the cart. She wanted to pick them back up one by one, placing them on the shelf while he glared at her actions. To have a paper towel fight in the middle of WalMart. To argue about something pointless and have him make up for it later with an embarrassingly sweet gesture. Just like they used to do. Ryan quickly returned, arms filled with rolls of paper towels, and they headed for the checkout line. He paid for everything when they reached the register, and held the door open for her when they left. He offered to unload the items into her trunk when they reached the car, and smiled every time she caught his eye in the rearview mirror. He cared.

Sure, Jim cared too. He always knew when to make her laugh or to let her cry. He knew when to tell her she looked gorgeous and when to leave her alone. On paper, he was the perfect guy. And Jim is perfect. God knows, she has wanted him for so. long. But being with Jim always felt somewhat… fake. Like he was way too perfect, their relationship couldn't possibly be real. Or that he was so wonderful, there's no way he would actually settle for her. Being with Ryan was… different. Better. Not because she thought Ryan wasn't as good as Jim, but because Ryan certainly wasn't her idea of perfect, but he made up for it with how imperfect he was. Because Ryan definitely knew how to make mistakes, but he usually found a way to fix them. Because Ryan is… a person. Ryan is a mess, and a jerk, and he's rude, and he says things without thinking, and he can make a girl fall in love with him and then break her heart, but he'll try so hard not to because he's sweet, and sensitive, and cuddly, and he'll cry watching the Friends finale and beg you not to tell his coworkers about it. Because he's real. And he is perfect in his own, little imperfect way. And he's so, he's so…

He's so right for her.

"Hey gorgeous," he announced, slipping into the passenger seat.

"Hey," she smiled, turning toward him. "I…" Just then, the Spice Girls came blaring from her cell phone. After dodging a look from Ryan at her ringtone choice, Pam flipped it open and stared at the text message on her screen.

Pam, sorry about before. I shouldn't have taken my work frustrations out on you. Tell Michael to save me a pancake, cause I definitely won't want to miss that luncheon ;) Love you so much.

A small smile made its way across her face. Sure, she might feel that Jim is way too good for her, but what's wrong with aiming for perfection? And what's wrong with wanting someone who has his life together, and who's always polite and always caring? Someone who would never cry at the Friends finale, but will always be there to hold her when she does? And Jim also has the potential to shatter her heart into a million pieces, but she knows he never would. That's not true. He broke your heart when he went to Stamford, didn't he? That point is taken away. Jim: 0. Sure he left, but he came back, didn't he? And she wasn't even dating him back then. But she's with him now, and he'll never leave her. Never.

Jim: 1. Ryan: ...

Ryan: 1 million.