Hey i'm back in town so i have a computer now, and you have an update =) Thanks for all the feedback so far; it's always good to see people are reading and liking.

Enjoy Chapter 18...and review!

And Some Things Work Out
If I could find out how
To make you listen now
Because I'm starving for you here
With my undying love and I, I will
Breath for love tomorrow
'Until Tomorrow' by Paramore

"Hey Sammy," Natalie greeted with a small smile. "Can I get a shot?"

"Course; what's your poison?"

"Surprise me"

"Make it two; pretty girls can't drink alone," Baggy laughed, stepping up to where Natalie was sitting at the bar.

Natalie threw him a grateful look, though part of her thought maybe it was a bad idea. Even though it was just Baggy, she didn't put it past Billy to get upset just because he was a guy.

'Stupid,' she rolled her eyes to herself.

"Aw, thanks," Paige cheered, popping up to grab the shot placed in front of Baggy; she downed it quickly. "Go away," she waved Baggy aside.

"You're bossy and you're a thief," Baggy laughed, ordering up a beer before sauntering off to leave the girls to themselves.

Paige hopped up onto the stool next to her friend and waved over more shots.

"What's wrong with you and Billy?"

"…nothing really," Natalie shrugged.

It was Friday night and Natalie had made sure to go out since Jamie was bringing Abby over in the morning and she'd therefore be spending most of her time with a child for the next couple days. She almost hadn't bothered, though, since her and Billy were in a weird spot.

"Nothing, right," Paige scoffed. "You're such a liar; Joel already called me and told me."

"Shit," Natalie rolled her eyes.

The day had been so weird. Things had been pretty great since she finally voiced her anxiety and felt more comfortable, but then they both got riled up this afternoon.

It had started as nothing; it still seemed like nothing to Natalie. She needed some notes for class, that was it. A test was coming up and she had to make up for some information she missed before Thanksgiving Break, so she'd called Joel. No one was at the apartment with her, which was actually kind of strange as of late, so no one even made her think twice. He knew, now, who she was dating and even though he was disgusted with it he didn't say anything to her face, which she appreciated; she didn't need to be arguing with anyone else right now.

So it had been a nice visit. If Joel had felt weird about hanging out in Billy Darely's apartment he hadn't said anything. They sat up at the kitchen bar, Natalie in sweats and a fitted t-shirt, chatting casually while she copied his notes into her own notebook. She was telling him about how her family was peeved she'd skipped on family Thanksgiving.

"…it would've been too tense to use that moment for showing back up with the family. I didn't want to make the holiday awkward for everyone," she defended herself.

"Probably a good call; you know your grandma would say something about the awkwardness."

"Right," Natalie laughed quietly, turning back to the paper in front of her.

That's when Billy walked in, ruining the casual afternoon.

He froze in the doorway, hand still on the doorknob, and sized-up the scene before him through narrowed eyes.

"The fuck?" he finally spat.

"I needed some notes for class, so I asked Joel to bring them over," Natalie explained, looking over her shoulder.

"Invited him right on over," Billy muttered.

He knew he shouldn't be threatened by Joel and, really, he wasn't, but he knew Joel had harbored a crush on Natalie. He'd recognized it the first time he'd ever seen the two, and if there was one thing he didn't want it was another man in his fucking home with Natalie without him knowing about it. So he just glared at Joel, who shrank slightly but didn't seem surprised.

"Hey man," Joel greeted to be polite.

"You were just leaving, right?" Billy suggested; in reality it wasn't a question

"Uh…"

"Billy, don't," Natalie sighed.

"I've had a bitch of a day; I ain't lookin' for company," Billy ground out.

"I'm almost finished, we'll be quiet"

"…why don't you give that shit to him later so he can get the fuck out."

"Billy!"

"It's fine, Nat; I'll go," Joel shrugged, rolling his eyes slightly as he slung his bag over his shoulder and got up.

"Joel, no…"

"Yeah. I'll see you Monday; call me if there's something in there you can't read"

Natalie sighed and got up to walk him to the door, resisting the habit of giving him a quick hug; she was pretty sure that would push Billy over the edge right now.

"Sorry," she muttered to Joel, a little embarrassed.

"It's cool; have a good weekend. Relax, hey?"

"Right, you too. See ya."

She closed the door again and turned to Billy with an exasperated look.

"What was that?"

"Me? What they hell were you doing inviting some guy into my home, huh?" he spat right back.

"Billy, it's Joel. We've had this talk before; I've known him for years... it doesn't mean anything."

"I don't want him in my fucking house! How the hell am I supposed to feel walkin' in to see another guy with you? I can't fuckin' take that right now, so don't let it happen again," he thrust a finger in her general direction.

"But you know it didn't mean anything, right?"

"I'm not threatened by him if that's what you're saying," he readily defended himself. "I just don't want to see that right now just…fuck, why am I defending myself?" he dismissed, shedding his coat and throwing it over the couch.

"You just could've respected him; he's my friend"

"Your friend, not mine"

"What's wrong with you today?"

Billy narrowed his eyes at her once again but before he could speak his phone rang and he flipped it open.

"What?….yeah, so?…fuck"

He snapped his phone shut again and yanked his coat back on.

"I'll see you tonight at the bar; if I ain't back Baggy will pick you up"

"You're leaving?" she sighed.

"Yeah…and don't invite his ass back over just because I have to go," he declared firmly.

"Oh, I won't be having him over again; I don't need a repeat of this," she assured him darkly.

Billy rolled his eyes and stomped out, slamming the door behind him.

In his defense, Billy really had had a shitty day. He'd started it off frustrated, pissed off with himself from the get-go.

He'd woken up with a hard-on and, not wanting Natalie to know, he got out of bed before she woke up and went to the bathroom to take care of it himself since morning sex was still out of the question. It was all well and fine since shit happens, but then she walked in on him. He didn't want her to feel bad and mostly just didn't want to admit he couldn't control his fucking body for her - he always had control.

He'd turned away, told her to leave and just give him a minute, but she hadn't listened; she'd come in and serviced him herself, sucking him off.

It had felt great, heavenly after the time they'd spent not having sex. He felt more satisfied that he would've with just his hand, and at first it made his morning, but he'd grown frustrated with the fact that he couldn't return the favor; they just hadn't gotten there yet. He'd secretly wondered if Natalie resented him for not being able to contain himself and just control it. He knew he was frustrated with himself; he was always in control….

So he'd fucking snapped when he got home. Maybe he shouldn't have cared, but he still considered himself justified in not wanting Joel at his place where he ruled.

He watched Natalie up at the bar with Paige, unable to keep his eyes off her ass in those tight jeans. He drug his eyes up and didn't have to see the halfhearted smile on her face to know she was upset about their altercation. He was, too, and the guys knew it, giving him a subtle berth as he glowered around.

"Well he's definitely been pissy," Paige muttered, glancing over her shoulder at Billy where he sat hardly interacting with the guys

"Yeah…I can understand him being annoyed or something, but he didn't have to treat Joel that way…"

"Hey, we all know Joel has a crush on you; it's bound to get to him. You wouldn't like it if you came home and he was hanging out with some girl?" Paige shrugged just to be fair.

"Billy doesn't have friends that are girls," Natalie shrugged simply. "But I get your point…he didn't have to take it out on Joel, though…"

"Don't tell me you can't see what's going on," Paige cocked her head.

"…what?"

"He can't be with you right now - ya know, have the sex he loves," Paige laughed, "so he probably doesn't want you around another dude. I mean, I doubt he's really legitimately threatened by Joel but he probably doesn't feel as close to you. I think we both know guys are most intimate through sex…."

"Great…."

"Hey, it's not your fault. I'm just saying…it can't be easy"

"You think I don't know that?" Natalie scowled.

"No, I know you do," Paige sighed. "It's not like I'm saying it was wrong to invite him over, I'm just saying why I think Billy acted that way…"

"Good, because it wasn't wrong to invite him over. I should be able to have friends…"

"Babe," Paige sighed.

"I'm just waiting for it to be over, to get better. It's been one step forward and then two steps right back ever since this whole attack. At this point, I don't even care what Billy's going to do to them when they find them; I just want things to feel normal again. Isn't that horrible?"

"No," Paige readily shook her head. "I've already told Baggy I'm okay with whatever he's going to end up doing. You look out for you and yours; that's the way it is in this part of the city….well, everywhere, but here especially. These guys who hurt you…he'd hurt you again if he could; he'd probably hurt me, Angela…any of the guys, too. It's hardly more than self defense to want him out of the picture."

"You sound so sure…"

"I am sure. I don't want this happening to you again; I definitely don't want it to happen to me. And these guys," Paige sighed, turning again to eye them. "They've grown on me the past few months and I don't want anything to happen to them either."

"Yeah…"

Natalie turned to look over at the table full of "their" guys, some of whom were playing pool or mingling about. Paige was right; she, too, had come to like them all and cared about them. She didn't want anything to happen to them; she wanted them to protect themselves. She found it unfortunate that this meant someone else might have to get hurt, but these were people she truly, genuinely liked and she just wanted them safe.

She caught Billy's eyes as she scanned the group and gave him a half smile before turning back to Paige.

"Plus, I'll also just add that normal was before you started dating Billy Darley; normal's over, sweetie," Paige joked to hopefully ease the tension.

Natalie did smile a little and rolled her eyes; she supposed that was somewhat true.

Billy watched Natalie; he knew she'd had a few but she wasn't mingling or doing anything…she wasn't having a good time; he could sympathize since he wasn't either. He hauled himself out of the booth without a word to the boys and sidled up to the bar with the two girls. Paige rolled her eyes and slid off the stool to go join Baggy, and Billy was silently grateful she'd known what he wanted without the words.

"How many's she had, Sam?" he asked, leaning an elbow against the bar, his other hand smoothing over her lower back.

He hadn't kept watch he entire time and knew glasses could've been cleared away and some of these were Paige's.

"Not too many; she's good, man," Sammy promised.

"Alright…ya wanna just go home?"

"No, it's fine; we can stay"

"Neither of us wanna fuckin' stay," he muttered, giving her a knowing look.

"Okay," she agreed, letting him lead her out to his car; he didn't bother with farewells because he was sure no one was surprised he was taking off.

They didn't speak throughout the short drive but Natalie turned to him expectantly when he stopped and turned off the car.

"Look, maybe I should've known not to invite Joel over -"

"Yeah, you shouldda"

"- but," she continued, "that doesn't mean it was okay for you to take it out on him and treat him like that. I don't disrespect your friends…and some of them deserve it sometimes," she added lightly.

Billy clenched his jaw, staring ahead for a while before getting out of the car, shutting the door harshly. Natalie sighed deeply and got out as well, following him up to the apartment.

"I think I understand, okay? And -"

"Shut up"

"What?" Natalie stopped.

"You were right and I was wrong, alright? Story ends there," he shed his coat, throwing it onto one of the chairs.

"No, Billy, it doesn't…we were both right and wrong. I really am sorry I invited him over without thinking about how you'd feel"

He tightened his jaw again and nodded slowly.

"…you do know it didn't mean anything, right?" she checked, approaching him and sliding her arms around his middle. "He's just a friend."

He nodded, head up but eyes down watching he closely as he kept his hands placed firmly on his hips.

"I won't have him over again if that's what you want," she promised, kissing his chest.

"Yeah, that's what I want," he nodded definitively.

"…okay…"

"… … but I mightta been a little rude"

"A little?" Natalie rose an eyebrow; she was slightly annoyed she'd truly apologized and he wasn't really doing the same.

Billy just shrugged; he had a short fuse, especially on more wearing days, and she knew that by now.

"…I am sorry for this morning though," he muttered; he still didn't like lowering himself to apologies, even with her.

"This morning?" Natalie frowned, leaning away from him to search his face, confused.

"Yeah…in the bathroom," he reminded her tightly.

Natalie frowned, still confused, and seemed a little amused almost.

"Why? It wasn't good for you? I thought you liked it…"

"Fuck that; you know I did"

"You sure? You seem a little confused…I can remind you if you want," she offered, bringing her hands around to the front of his jeans.

"Cut the shit, Nat"

"Well I don't understand what you're apologizing for; what's wrong?" she frowned, bemused.

"I shouldn't have put you in that position," he shrugged as if it was no big deal, even though he felt shitty about it.

"You didn't; you told me to leave. I wanted to…like I want to right now. C'mere," she grinned, tugging on the waists of his jeans.

She was happy this hadn't turned into a yelling-match and was instead a real conversation, and she hoped to unwind him as she guided him to the couch.

"Stop it," he pushed her hands away.

"What's wrong?" she shook her head at him, baffled; since when did he turn down anything sexual?

"…I don't wanna start shit if I can't return the favor, alright. Maybe I couldn't control myself this morning but I fuckin' can now. I don't want to use you," he forced himself to declare firmly, though in reality he very much wanted her mouth on him; what he didn't want was to long to do the same for her and then remember why he couldn't yet…fuckin' Riley.

"…maybe tonight you can…"

He cocked an eyebrow at her, perhaps somewhat disbelieving, but she didn't take it back. She'd felt close to him lately; they knew they loved each other and they'd been able to talk to each other and move slowly. Granted, this afternoon had been a setback in communication, but it didn't undo how understanding he'd been with her otherwise. He hadn't pushed, which was actually a little surprising, and she felt like it was just more of a reason to trust him.

"I love you, and I trust you," she whispered, pulling his face down to hers to kiss him.

He responded readily, circling his arms around her and riding her of her shirt rather quickly. She was the one to guide him to the couch, nudging him to sit down. She bent purposefully so her chest would be open to him, almost spilling out of her bra, and she slowly worked her hands down his torso. She undid his belt but then moved to his thighs, rubbing them firmly and grazing his groin through his jeans until he lifted his hips off of the couch impatiently

She smiled playfully before she obliged, and Billy groaned gratefully when her hands finally closed on him. Looking at her, feeling her hands dance across his body, and thinking about finally making her cum again had gotten him ready for her quickly. He watched her work him with her hands and mouth and he fisted his hands in her hair, but didn't egg her on, and let her do her thing.

He wasted no time hitching his pants back up once he could think straight and he leaned forward to grab her and pull her into his lap. He kissed her slowly and sucked at her collarbone as he massaged her breasts in his large hands. He moved a hand between her legs to rub at her through her jeans and she whimpered his name, pressing herself closer to him.

Fuck drawing it out.

Billy slid forward onto his knees and leaned ahead to push a couple of Natalie's books and a empty beer bottle off the coffee table to lay her down on it. He tugged her hips to the edge and slowly unbuttoned her jeans, yanking them away to throw aside. He pushed his hands up her legs slowly and hooked his fingers in her underwear to peel them away at an agonizingly slow pace. He dropped them away and leaned over her to kiss her slowly, hands under her neck, and she wrapped her legs around him.

"You keep your eyes open," he whispered, nipping her ear.

Natalie nodded and watched him ease back and pull her hips further over the edge of the table. Her legs hitched over his arms where he was crouched down on the floor and she breathed his name as his mouth began to work her. He used only his mouth, no hands, and didn't enter her at all - not yet - but he didn't need to. He knew how to tease her with just his mouth; he knew what he was doing and his sucking and lapping at her was more than enough to make her lose it. She kept her eyes open, though, as per his request and watched him, one hand grabbing the edge of the table and the other clutching at the back of his head.

Billy lifted himself up and watched Natalie breathing heavily on the table, chest heaving slightly. She wrapped her legs languidly around his waist instead of letting them droop over the edge and she laughed, nudging Billy away, when he descended to her chest and nipped the side of her breast.

"Thanks again for being so understanding," she whispered softly, tracing the bridge of his nose with a finger.

He hummed his acknowledgement and nuzzled her neck, getting his arms under her to rise slightly to sit back on the couch again.

"I'm serious"

"I know"

"I wish you could understand how great you've been and how much it means. I know you act like it's nothing but it is," she told him again.

"It just wasn't a hard choice to make," he shrugged; he, too, spoke quietly as if someone might be around to hear him speak this openly. "You're mine and I'd fucking hate myself if I pushed you and made ya think of him when he hurt ya. He doesn't get to have space in your life, or in here," he poked her forehead lightly. "So let's not fuckin' talk about it right now."

Natalie smiled and kissed him deeply, nipping at his lip with a saucy grin before resting her forehead on his.

"…I didn't have much dinner. I'm hungry…you want anything?" she asked, pushing herself off of him after a few long minutes to pull on her underwear and pants.

"Aw, don't do that"

She just rolled her eyes and shimmied her jeans up to button them. With a frown, Billy snatched her shirt off the back of the couch to keep from her; she chuckled softly at him.

"Why'd you skip dinner?"

"I didn't, I just didn't eat a lot. I was a little anxious," she admitted.

"Sorry," he rolled his eyes. "…ya want me to take ya out to get some food?" he offered.

"No it's fine," she shrugged, shuffling off to find some kind of snack.

When she came back to the couch, Billy grabbed her hips and tugged her close to nuzzle her soft stomach. He nipped at her bellybutton and then tilted his head to lick the thin scar towards her side. He sucked at the puckered flesh lightly and then grazed his teeth over her hip before tugging her to sit next to him. It didn't make Natalie uncomfortable, though she'd been self-conscious about the blemished area at first. Now, though, they'd seen each others scars, touched them and were well acquainted with them; granted, Billy had many more than her, some she still didn't have the story on.

"Do you ever think about what if I hadn't gotten stabbed," she asked contemplatively, running a finger over the fine scar.

"Hmm?" he turned his attention from taking her food to her abdomen.

"Well that's the night we met; if it hadn't happened, we might have never even seen each other," she pointed out.

"Well, then, no; I don't want to think about it," he frowned.

"I'm just saying; it's kind of crazy…." she shrugged, thinking about how something bad that had happened to her was something she wouldn't change because of the events getting stabbed had put into play.

"Yeah, well, we're kind of crazy," he reminded her, tugging her closer to his side to keep her warm since he still sat on her shirt.

She laughed at that but didn't argue. They really were kind of crazy…she was right, though; if that one thing hadn't happened their paths would likely have never crossed. The Four Roses wasn't a bag she and Paige would have ever gone to uninvited and Billy would never have set food on their campus without reason…it really was funny how some things worked out sometimes.