Sorry it's been so long since i've updated; I've been camping on and off so i don't have reliable internet access. But now i'm back!
Thanks so much for all of the review and continued support - i really appreciate it!
And without further delay, here's chapter 20. Hope you enjoy. =)

ASSUMING
And you're so hateful sometimes
Throwing punches at lies
Fall from somewhere above
Just to say you're in love
'Throwing Punches' by Paramore

_

A few week or so later and Billy was annoyed with her, and Natalie knew it. She was a little displeased herself but it wasn't her fault. She hadn't planned this, but there wasn't any telling him that right now.

Of course, it didn't help that things were already a little different since she'd moved back home almost a week ago now. That said, she'd still already stayed at his apartment a couple nights; her dad was acting blissfully ignorant about that, which she assumed was due to her mother's insistence. Billy had been peeved with it all as well because he didn't see why she'd want to bother leaving - why not stay? She'd rationalized it because, first of all, he'd really only offered her a place for a while; plus, Joe would be back soon and she didn't want the place to be crowded, or her company to be forced upon Joe until he got to know her. Billy told her Joe wouldn't mind, but she didn't want to impose, which he thought was stupid.

Still, he'd been as understanding as he could be, especially when she followed through with the promise that she'd still be staying at his place whenever they wanted. Plus, they'd started having sex again by this time and she had a feeling this fact was enough to boost him back into the unwavering security he'd held before.

What he wasn't nearly as understanding about was the holiday party she was basically obligated to go to with a bunch of her parents' friends. Well, he might have understood if it didn't also happen to fall on the evening Joe was getting out of prison. They were having a little celebration at the Four Roses and she'd known that for some time…she just hadn't realized the conflicting dates.

"The fuck?" Billy spat when he realized just what she was saying, why she repeated the date a second time for him.

"But I'm leaving early, just like I said," she reminded him quickly.

"Just don't fuckin' go, Nat; what the hell? Ya know this is a big fuckin' deal," he threw his hands up.

"Well this party is a big deal to my parents," she tried to make him understand. "People have already noticed I haven't been around the house and they can only offer up so many explanations, ya know? I don't want to cause more rifts."

"So you're going to some stuck-up dinner party," he sneered.

"If it's any consolation, I won't enjoy it. They're usually pretty boring," she told him honestly; save for one of her cousins, who was always at the same parties because their dad's worked together, she barely liked the people.

"Then fuckin' skip it; don't go just because your old man wants you to. He doesn't compromise for you," he threw at her.

"I really don't need to be reminded," Natalie huffed; Billy knew the fact that her dad had hardly talked to her lately irritated her.

Billy just shook his head slowly and planted his hands firmly on his hips.

"Don't get mad at me, I didn't plan it"

"Ya fuckin' agreed to go along," he argued.

"I promised I'd go way before I realized. Look, I'm leaving early and that's really the best I can do. You should have time with just Joe and the guys anyway."

"Oh, don't go an' try to fuckin' make it sound like this is the better deal for me," he narrowed his eyes at her.

"I'm still going to come," she repeated yet again. "I'm just going to be a little late…not even that late."

He continued to eye her harshly. It was on the tip of his tongue to forbid her to go to this little Christmas shindig, but he didn't see that going over well and he didn't need the damn headache.

"Giving-in to daddy," he muttered, running a hand over his head in agitation.

Natalie narrowed her eyes and the thought entered her head to remind him that he gave into his dad pretty often, too, but she didn't let the comment anywhere near her tongue. She was shocked with herself for even thinking it, really; she didn't talk about Bones and had never entertained the thought of rubbing his power in Billy's face. Maybe Billy's argument tactics were rubbing off on her…

"Please don't push that point," she snapped instead.

He looked her over with an irritated look but kept his mouth shut as he turned away.

"Couldn't be any more un-fucking-convenient, Nat," he sighed.

"I know"

She did know, which was why she was telling him now so he had a few days to get used to the idea and get over it by the time it actually rolled around.

But that didn't mean that, for now, he really wasn't annoyed with her. That had happened this morning and she hadn't gotten even a text message from him all day while she was in classes. That wasn't completely out of the ordinary; they didn't always keep in touch throughout the day, but usually. So she knew he wasn't texting her because he was pissed, and she wasn't initiating contact because she didn't want him to purposefully ignore her; that was just irritate her and she didn't want them to both be upset.

Billy was upset but he did know that it wasn't her fault. He believed her that she didn't want to go, and he thought that under different circumstances she'd probably find a way to ditch the whole thing altogether. Things with her parents were still a little tense right now though, but he knew she was trying to patch that up and going to this stupid dinner would likely go a long way. At least with her mom; from the sounds of it, it was mostly just her dad staying unwaveringly uptight.

And that was his fault, he reminded himself. If he were anyone else, her dad wouldn't care so much. Natalie was going through a lot of trouble for him…

So it didn't mean that he wasn't as peeved as shit, but he was at school that afternoon around the time he knew she'd be out. She'd driven herself to school after their argument so he had Bodie drop him off; he'd drive back with Natalie.

He waited around the appropriate building, nursing a cigarette as he shifted against the cold; there was a thin layer of white on the ground and it was supposed to snow more tonight. He was just starting to think he should've had Bodie stick around so he could wait in the warm car when the doors to the brick building opened and a stream of students trickled out. It was a while before he saw Natalie trail out behind most of her classmates, head down against the wind. She looked like she was heading across the lawn towards the student center, so he moved to intercept her.

Billy froze when someone called her name and she looked up, but not at him. He could see the wide smile that split her face when her eyes landed on the speaker. He frowned when he saw the person was a guy, and the frown turned into complete disgust when he heard how happy she sounded and how she practically ran to the guy - she didn't fucking run to him when he showed up.

"Vince!"

He threw his cigarette down in a rage when she threw herself at the guy in a hug. He could see the guy laughing and he spun Natalie around happily before planting her back on her feet to hold her at arms length as if to inspect her. Billy stared, fuming, and studied the man's face to commit it to memory.

The man was probably a little shorter than Billy but broad all the same with a darker complexion. He was scruffy and had dark hair past his chin that was curly and messy, and Billy never wanted to see it again.

Natalie remained oblivious to his watching presence and gestured towards the student center. This asshole had the nerve to toss his arm over her shoulders to steer her there and on top of that Natalie had the nerve to fucking let him. He had half a mind to barge over there and break up the little interlude but he whipped out his phone to call Bodie back instead.

Billy could've sworn the guy looked over at him, but wrote it off; he was probably just looking around.

"Hurry your ass here and pick me up. Now," he barked into the phone before shoving it back in his pocket and marching to the parking lot.

He didn't know what he was going to fucking do about that.

"Hey, Bodie, do you know what's up with him?" Natalie asked, nudging the man next to her to point to Billy where he was playing pool.

"Nah," Bodie shrugged.

Billy hadn't offered any explanation when he'd jumped back in the car that afternoon, and even if he had Bodie wasn't stupid enough to gossip about it behind Billy's back.

Natalie had decided to give Billy his space all day and then met everyone at the bar. Billy had given her the typical courtesy greeting of a kiss but had maybe said two words to her and that had just been to ask her to move so he could get out of the booth and shoot pool with Baggy. Even as the two were playing, they weren't talking. Baggy looked a little apprehensive, and after trying and failing to pick up the mood through light banter, he just shut up and shot.

She saw him finish off his beer so she got up to get one at the bar from Sammy and bring it over. The evening was pretty dull and Natalie was starting to wish she'd invited Paige along, but she hadn't called her friend tonight. She especially wished for the female companionship when she turned to see a blonde had moseyed her way over to the pool table to talk to Billy, stroking his arm. He looked at her in a bored manner and said something, but whatever the words were, they weren't deterrents because the girl didn't leave.

Rolling her eyes at how juvenile it seemed, she strode over and planted a hand on the girl's shoulder to firmly guide her away from Billy.

"Bitch!" the girl whipped around.

"Jen!" Billy barked before the girl could further protest. "Take the hint."

She stalked off and Natalie was at least encouraged that Billy wasn't enjoying this Jen's company.

"Haha, yeah; fight 'em off, girl," Baggy cheered.

Natalie smiled at him and handed the beer to Billy, which he took without a word.

"And she's a waitress; where's mine, sweetie?" he cooed, leaning on his pool stick.

"Baggy, shut the fuck up," Billy snapped at him, too.

Baggy nodded quickly and went back to shutting up and shooting.

"Are you alright?" Natalie sighed; the question seemed so old.

"…am I alright?" Billy narrowed his eyes at her, emphasizing his words in some sort of pointed way while Baggy took his shot.

"Yes, what's wrong?"

He just looked at her and Natalie felt like he was telling her she should know damn well what was wrong, so she assumed it was about the Christmas party thing. Maybe she'd come to meet him a little too soon…

"Uh, your go, bro," Baggy interrupted hesitantly.

Billy drug his eyes from her and turned back to the game moodily. Baggy gave her a "hell if I know" shrug, so she left them to their game and went up to the bar.

"What can I get you, Nat?" Sammy asked cheerfully.

"Ummm…I dunno; I'm either getting a drink or I'm gonna go," she sighed, trying to decide which one appealed more.

A drink certainly seemed needed, but if Billy needed some space it would be best to just let him have it. She could go to Paige's for a while and then head home; it didn't have to be a wasted night.

But she found a drink slid in front of her and Sammy winked.

"Stick around. We need pretty girls here to keep the men coming back," he joked.

She laughed but accepted the drink and pulled out her phone to call Paige and figure out what she was up to.

"…aw, girl, I can't come out tonight. My sisters here with one of her little friends and my aunt's out and she'd have a fit if she knew I left them alone this late at night," Paige told her ruefully when she invited her out.

"Okay, I understand…."

"We can run out and pick you up to come over if you can't drive though," Paige offered helpfully.

"No, I'm only on my second drink; maybe I'll come over soon"

"Alright, cool…so maybe see you later then"

"Okay, I'll call"

"How bout we get the girl another, amigo, yeah?"

Natalie was surprised to hear the voice slightly infused with Spanish accent and turned on her stool with a smile.

"You know this guy, Nat?" Sammy raised a skeptical eyebrow as the unfamiliar man took a seat next to her.

"Yeah, we go way back. Sammy, this is Vince. Vince, Sammy here is my favorite bartender," Natalie smiled.

"And a beer, too," Vince added when Sammy went to make her another drink.

"Billy ain't gonna like that," Sammy threw his two cents in as he set her drink in front of her.

He didn't mean he wouldn't like her drinking the concoction, of course; he meant Billy wouldn't approve of strange men buying her drinks. Natalie knew what he was getting at but shrugged if off; Vince was Vince.

"And who's this Billy? Boyfriend, right? You date guys that hang out here in a place like this?" Vince laughed, scanning the room as he spoke quietly. "Can I guess which one?"
Natalie slapped his shoulder and rolled her eyes at him.

"What're you doing here? Stalking me?" she asked, genuinely curious how he'd happened upon her again.

They'd spent most of the afternoon together but never had she mentioned where she was going for the evening.

"No; you think I knew I was gonna find you here? Never knew you to hang around dives before," he laughed, nursing his beer.

Natalie was hesitant to believe it was a coincidence but what else could it be, really.

"It's not so bad; the people are nice enough and they're fun," she shrugged. "Actually, they're sort of your kind of people," she teased.

"Oh, that right?" he laughed.

He didn't bother trying to argue it, though. He'd had a look around and, yeah, it was his kind of place…more so than her, at least. He hadn't had the fancy upbringing she had.

...

"Yo, who's that?" Baggy asked, nodding off past Billy.

Billy was bent at the pool table to take a shot but looked over his shoulder first. He immediately straightened up.

"Mother fucker," he threw his stick down on the table.

It was that asshole from campus earlier that day. His gay ass hair was pulled back and secured at the back of his head, but it was the same jackass.

Baggy quickly put his stick down, too; after this reaction he knew he'd be backing Billy up in a moment. Bodie, too, slid from his seat without a word or being asked, and followed after Billy as he marched to the bar.

Billy wasted no time with subtlety and simply knocked the intruder's beer right out of his hands.

"The fuck," the man hissed, jerking away to attempt to not let it spill on him; Billy detected some sort of accent.

"Billy!" Natalie gaped, jumping back as well instinctively.

"Shut up," Billy pointed a finger at her fiercely before rounding on the stranger again. "Who the fuck are you? Get the fuck out!" he ordered.

"Whoa, I dunno who the hell you think you are, b-"

Billy didn't give him a chance to finish and punched him clean across the face. He was a little surprised and sorely disappointed that the man stayed on his feet, but it didn't matter.

"That's who the hell I am, you fuck! I make the rules here, now get. The. Fuck. Out!"

"Billy," Natalie protested again, but Baggy pulled her back to make sure she didn't get in Billy's way.

"Hey, don't you fuckin' touch her," Vince shouted, forgetting about Billy to head towards Baggy.

Billy punched him again but once Vince's attention was back on him, he was able to deflect the next blow and then aim his own, which Billy dodged.

"Baggy, let me go - make him stop," Natalie swatted at his arm.

Baggy didn't respond to her and chuckled a little as Billy dodged another fist and used Vince's momentum to shove him stumbling over a stool.

"Guys," Sammy groaned, though it was halfhearted; he wasn't about to get in the middle of it.

The brawl continued, though Vince resorted to mostly defending himself rather than attacking; he didn't need to piss Natalie off more, but he longed to seriously hurt this punk. Finally, Billy just pushed him away and he straightened, breathing heavily and wiping blood from his nose.

"Time for you to go," Billy ordered again, also breathing heavily.

"Billy, cut it out!" Natalie yelled at him.

"What'd I tell you? Stay out of it!"

"No, I -"

"Girl," Bodie warned, shaking his head; no point in pushing Billy further.

"What's the matter; need an escort, faggot? You got it," Billy growled, shoving Vince roughly towards the door.

Vince shot a look at Natalie, who was absolutely mortified.

"Don't fucking look at her!" Billy exploded, grabbing him roughly by the jaw.

Vince responded instinctively by swiping his hand away and aiming a fist at the side of Billy's head. Billy was able to lean away in time for it to only graze him and the resulting second scuffle sent them both stumbling out of the front door in a tangle of limbs.

"Shit yeah," Baggy whooped; it'd been too long since a fight had broken out there.

Bodie looked amused, but slightly less than his friend; this punk just wasn't going down easy.

Baggy's grip on her had slackened so Natalie freed herself of him and gave him a spiteful look before exiting. She was surprised to find the two men just standing and glaring heatedly at each other in some kind of stare-down.

"Billy, please…" Natalie approached him, taking his elbow lightly.

He wrenched away from her hand and whipped his hand out to grab her arm roughly.

"I'm gonna deal with you later; stay out of my way," he told her firmly, nodding at Baggy to keep a better eye on her.

"Vince, don't -" she started, causing Billy to whip around again.

Billy's eyes widened slightly, registering surprise that this punk would dare come at him, before he was barreled around the middle and tackled to the ground.

"Fuck," he grunted, falling to the pavement.

"Vince!"

Baggy grabbed her firmly around the waist, despite her protests.

"Don't. Fuckin. Manhandle her," Vince ground out, landing some hits to Billy's body as Billy tried to reorient himself.

Growling, Billy wrestled his way around so he had Vince pinned under him instead and began pummeling him.

"Stop it! Billy, cut it out! Grow up!" Natalie shouted, trying to elbow Baggy and get him to let her go.

Vince tried to get an eye on her but was more concerned with protecting his face from the large fists that were trying to get at it. He finally managed some leverage with his legs and twisted around. With speed that took Billy by surprise, he wrangled the taller man into a hold that offered him little movement.

Bodie almost stepped forward, but this was his leader's fight so he'd give him more of a chance…Billy would only be pissed if he stepped in unneeded.

Billy strained to push him away with one arm, grunting with the effort. In lieu of that not working, he managed his hand behind Vince and curled his hand into a tight fist to jab it into the approximate area he knew the kidney should be.

Eureka.

Vince gasped and went slack so that Billy could scramble to his feet, and once he was standing he swung his foot out into Vince's gut.

"Stop it ! Bodie, do something," Natalie urged, straining against Baggy's thick arms.

Bodie just shrugged; he knew where his loyalties were. He felt a little bad for Natalie as she cringed when Billy kicked this guy again, but if Billy didn't want this guy coming around then neither did he.

Billy stopped, chest heaving, to eye the man who was currently on his hands and knees gasping for breath. Time to get rid of him.

"Oh my God…" Natalie gasped when Billy pulled his gun from the back of his hands. "Don't!"

Vince knew exactly what Natalie was talking about when he heard the click of the gun. He knew that sound and squeezed his eyes shut, letting his head fall.

Shit.

"Billy, stop it; what're you doing? Look at me…"

Natalie's words went ignored and no one else made a sound. Vince pushed himself up, hands up at his side in innocence. As he slowly rose to his feet.

"Why don't you just calm down, bro," Vince spoke calmly.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up," Billy forced him to stop negotiating. "You come in here and you come at me in my place? In my city?"

Tears spilled out of Natalie's eyes. She couldn't even comprehend the scene in front of it. How was this even happening.

"Billy please stop. Please, you don't know what you're doing…"

Baggy gently placed a hand over her mouth, least she needle Billy too much. He, too, was surprised at Billy and exchanged a worried look with Bodie. Not that they wouldn't back Billy's play, but it was a little out there to shoot this guy in public right in front of their bar.

Vince shot Natalie a worried look but looked back to Billy quickly.

"On your knees…get down on your knees!" Billy yelled at him.

Slowly, Vince breathed deeply and did so, dropping to his knees.

He heard Natalie sob but kept his eyes straight on Billy. He wasn't supposed to die this way, but if he was going down he was facing his psychotic murderer like a man.

"Billy, man," Bodie spoke quietly, calmly.

Billy finally tore his eyes away to look at Bodie, his best friend.

"What?" he spat; didn't Bodie know he wasn't about to pull the trigger? It was just a scare tactic.

Bodie nodded to Natalie, who had sunk to the ground where she'd been standing. Baggy was crouched next to her, hands on her shoulders in case she tried to make a break, but she didn't look like she was going to move. Her hands were over her mouth in fear, tears wetting her face. Billy softened slightly but glared back at this Vince.

He rolled his eyes and stuck his gun back in his pants. He cracked his neck and eyed Vince fiercely.

"Get out of my sight"

Vince got up quickly and looked around before heading for his car, stumbling slightly. Natalie sobbed again, this time in relief, and wiped her eyes before pushing herself to her feet. She felt it was only natural to hurry after Vince, but Billy grabbed her arm.

"Where the fuck are you going?"

"Let go," she wrenched her arm away. "You don't even know what the hell you just did," she shook he head at him, eyes still full of tears.

He got in front of her again and though he didn't grab at her again he blocked her way successfully.

"You go after him and I'm gonna fuckin' lose it," he told her, his voice low, and she believed him.

"I have to see if he'd alright," she sniffed.

"…two fuckin' minutes. That's what you got, Nat. Two, or it's his ass."

"You don't even know-"

"Two minutes," he repeated.

Finally she just nodded and was allowed to walk around him, hurrying over to where Vince was standing at his car. Natalie reached up to his face but he lowered her hand gently and shook his head.

"I'm s-so sorry," She stuttered out around her breath hitching.

"S'okay, he punches like a little bitch," he joked.

Natalie shook her head and cried. Vince rubbed her arm gently but didn't dare hug her in front of Billy right now.

"He just got the wrong idea…I don't blame you," he promised.

"He got so angry so fast," she whispered, trying her eyes on her sweater.

"…you wanna hop in? We can go," he offered. "I won't leave you here alone if you don't want me to," he promised her loyally.

"That's a bad idea," she shook her head. "You're okay?"

"I've seen worse," he threw his shoulder up in a shrug. "Nothin' some ice and Advil can't fix."

"Don't joke"

"I'm not, I'm serious… I'll be fine. I'm more worried about you with that pendejo," he nodded over her shoulder.

"Don't be"

"Nat!"

Billy was migrating their way, one hand on his hip as he waved her over.

"The offer still stands," Vince nodded to his truck.

Billy narrowed his eyes when he saw that gesture but Natalie shook her head and took her first step his way.

"See you soon, yeah?"

"I'll call," Natalie promised before turning away from him and walking down the sidewalk, straight past Billy.

"Where the hell you goin'?"

"To get my coat," she slapped his hand away.

Billy threw his keys at Bodie and waited stoically for Natalie to get back out.

"Keys," he demanded, hand out.

Natalie hesitated but did as he wanted resignedly. Billy lead the way to her car, opening the passenger door for her and slamming it hard enough to make her jump once she was seated.

"I can't believe you did that," she breathed as they neared his apartment.

Billy didn't react, just glared ahead as he whipped into a parking spot.

"Geeze, calm down," she cringed, grabbing the door.

He didn't react to that either, just got out and lead the way in and upstairs. He slammed the door to the apartment just like he'd been slamming everything else on the way. He was like a kid throwing a fit and she scoffed, shaking her head.

"Something funny?"

"You; you're being stupid"

She was sad and scared and mad. Everything was just jumbled together and she didn't know how to feel.

"Stupid?" he asked incredulously, striding over to her.

"Yes, you have no idea what you just did. How could you do that?" she demanded, hitting his chest now that he was close enough.

"Maybe I wouldn't have had to if ya weren't fucking all over him," Billy spat at her.

"What? Now another guy buying me a drink means he's all on me?" she threw up her hands.

"No, I saw you this afternoon at your school," he threw down his trump card. "That's right. All fuckin' smiley and touchy. Who the hell is he, Nat?"

"You saw us on campus? Well why didn't you say something? I didn't even see you," she frowned.

"Cuz you only had eyes for him-"

"You should've said something"

"-now who the hell is he?" Billy asked again as if she hadn't spoken.

"He's Vince; I've known him forever. He was Connor's best friend," she told him.

"Connor…"

"Yeah; they were like brothers. They were in the Army together."

Billy deflated a little at that.

"And if you would've stopped for two damn seconds, I would've told you that at the bar," she added.

"Well what was I supposed to think? We fight this morning and I show up to see him touching you and shit," he defended himself.

"We fought, so what!" Natalie insisted exasperatedly. "So I'm going to turn to the nearest guy? Is that what you think?'

"That's how everyone else in my life operates," he threw up his hands.

Natalie blanched.

"Is that what you do?" she demanded, thinking of that blonde at the pool table.

"No!" he snapped.

"Then why would you think that? I've never given you a reason not to trust me, and yet you pull this crap," she shook her head, rubbing away the dampness pooling under her eyes.

"It's all I fucking know; I try, alright," Billy snapped.

Natalie shook her head. It was a shitty excuse, though she knew he had a lot of negative experiences when it came to trusting people…everyone always let him down.

"It's not an excuse for how you acted tonight; you crossed some kind of line," she told him, releasing a shaky breath.

"Were your eyes open? He egged it on," Billy reminded her.

"No way; he was trying to protect me-"

"I wasn't letting anyone fucking hurt you!"

"But he didn't know that; he doesn't know them. And you pulled a gun on him," she nearly whispered the words; she still couldn't believe he'd done that.

"I was never gonna shoot his ass," Billy rolled his eyes. "He's just some damn pussy…"

Natalie hit his chest again and took a few steps away, digging her hands into her hair.

"I have to leave; I can't stay here tonight," she shook her head.

"Like hell you're leaving"

He made a step towards her but she immediately stepped back.

"…you scared of me?" he frowned at her.

"You just pointed a gun in my friend's face, what do you think?" she challenged. "Give me my keys."

"No"

She reached into his pocket for them but he didn't allow it and grabbed her around the middle when she tried to leave with them.

"Let me go; I want to go"

"You're not fucking leaving while you're scared of me, you hear that?" he laid down the law firmly.

First of all, he didn't want her scared of him. Besides, what if she left scared... maybe she'd never come back. He couldn't just let her leave; it'd be the perfect time to bail, she'd have the perfect excuse - he fucking gave it to her. Fuck.

She had things at his place, sure, but he was sure daddy Shepherd would be happy to replace anything she left behind as a reward for dumping his ass.

"What?"

"You can't fucking be scared of me," he tried to tell her, as if this was something he could order her.

"I know you're not going to hurt me, but I can't do this anymore," Natalie sighed, wrenching her body away from him to get a little space.

"What?" he blanched; luckily, she was turned away still so she didn't see the panic sweep his face for a moment.

"This back and forth in emotions…I know you have a temper, but…ugh. You go from zero to sixty so fast… ...it makes my head spin and I can't keep up. Why couldn't you have just come to me; you could've asked me who he was…"

Billy sniffed and rubbed his nose quickly.

Sometimes he forgot himself when it came to her, forgot to act differently with her. He didn't talk things out with other people, didn't have to think about their side. He didn't really think Natalie was going to walk out on him, but the mere suggestion of it - just thinking of it when she saw her hugging on Vince - was enough to trigger him to act the way he had.

"…say something."

Natalie knew they could talk about this. She knew he was used to being let down; people left him, disappointed him, backstabbed him, and fucked with him all the time so he had a reason to jump the gun (no pun intended) sometimes. She didn't want to be providing the excuses, though; he had to open his mouth and talk about it.

"What am I supposed to say? I don't know how to do this," he gestured between them. "It was smooth sailing for a while there but I'm still figuring this shit out."

Natalie watched him thoughtfully. That was true; a lot of things had gone relatively smoothly for a while. Billy was faithful, she'd figured out how to work around her parents - for a while - to be with him, she fit in with his friends, he kept his temper with her…it wasn't perfect but the downs were relatively few. They'd even been able to live together nicely. Then she'd gotten attacked and now he was stressed out about keeping her safe, and now that he could understand why she'd leave he almost expected her to.

Natalie didn't know what to say but maybe leaving was the wrong thing to do to him right now. Instead she settled on taking a bath, shutting the door to the room to run hot water and slip in.

Billy stayed sanding in the living room for a while before going to the bathroom door. It was locked but he just reached up to the top of the door for the key and unlocked it; too many drunks locked themselves in there for him to not have an accessible key. Normally he'd be upset she'd tried to lock him out but he ignored it and sat down on the closed toilet to just watch her, look at her. He sat there for quite some time, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, until shifting to sit on the floor so he could relax his back against the side of the tub.

They were quiet for a long time and Billy closed his eyes and just listened to her breathe. He wasn't sure how he always managed to create situations he just had to fix in the end anyway.

He heard the water move and then a wet thumb trailed over the back of his head.

"…I know people let you down," she stated softly.

He didn't say anything to acknowledge that, just stared at the door.

"Part of you won't trust me…you have to give me a chance to not leave you"

Billy still didn't speak but instead reached behind him and grabbed her hand.

Natalie didn't want to leave him but sometimes she really wanted him to make it easier to stay. She loved him, everything about him, and she was willing to take his bad with his good, but she didn't want to be scared of him…she couldn't. She couldn't just stand for him hurting people around her, effectively hurting her.

Maybe she couldn't blame him for having negative assumptions about Vince…maybe seeing things in the conditions he had were suspicious. But he didn't have to overreact with such a tempter. The Darley Temper, according to the boys.

Natalie got out of the tub and dried off, scampering to the bedroom to grab some leftover clothes and change into them so she could get in bed. Billy was in the room by then and he stripped to his boxers before getting in. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead, trying to move on and kiss her fully.

"Mmm, don't," she turned away. "I'm still mad at you; you threatened my friend," she reminded him, turning over.

"I don't like him," Billy declared anyway, spooning up behind her.

"That doesn't matter. He's the closest thing I have to a brother now"

Billy grunted to show he'd heard but didn't offer anything else. Natalie didn't let that bother her. Billy didn't have to like him if he didn't want; she felt that he'd never really like any of the guys in her life that weren't his gang. He didn't have to like them if he didn't want to, but he couldn't treat them however he wanted. She thought he got it with Joel; he didn't have to be Joel's friend but he had to at least tolerate him…it probably wouldn't be so easy with Vince anymore.

Assuming
And you're so hateful sometimes
Throwing punches at lies
Fall from somewhere above
Just to say you're in love
'

Throwing Punches' by Paramore
_