Chapter 11: Songs

Later that night, Justin and I were laying in bed. It wasn't awkward at all. It was kind of comfortable for him to be there, but I think if it was anybody else I would have said no though. I found it kind of fun. Justin and I were just laying there goofing off, nothing like we had done the past couple days like the tickling, but it was still fun.

"So Justin, do you know what songs you are performing at the concert?" I asked him. I was a little curious about what he had planned for it. I know people say curiousity killed the cat, but heck I'm not even a cat, more like a clumsy small dog. So I wasn't worried about finding out something that I didn't like at all.

He smiled at me and pulled me into a hug. Justin just held me and didn't let me go after he hug me. So I decided that I would get comfortable. I put my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. It was a nice rhythm to listen to. "I know that I'm playing Pick Me, One Time, One Less Lonely Girl, Never Let You Go, Somebody To Love, and Stuck in the Moment. Anything else you would like me to play for you? Anything that you like and I don't know it?"

I started giggling, "There are two songs that you forgot completely about. I want you to sing Common Denominator and First Dance for me." I looked up at him. He was looking down at me. When our eyes met, they locked together. It was becoming awkward. I tore my gaze away from his and I felt myself start blushing. So I did what I thought was the practical thing to do, which was to try and hide my face into his shirt.

He laughed softly, "Well then, I'll give you anything you want. Anything, and that's a promise, Nikki." My breath caught again in my throat. It was happening more often then it ever had happened before I met Justin. It was a little irratating for me. I tried not to focus on it.

When I didn't reply, he started running his hand through my hair and playing with it. I wasn't going to complain like I normally would if it was somebody else playing with my hair. Even if I would say something, it wouldn't come out like the normal yell that I would use with the others when they touched my hair.

"Nikki, forever and always?" He asked me. I didn't understand his question. I don't even think that it was a complete sentence either.

I looked up at him confused, "What do you mean forever and always, Justin? It could be taken so many different ways you know."

"Friends, forever and always, right?" He clarrafied with me. I thought that my heart was going to break. So he did change his mind on me. That really sucks.

I felt tears start rolling down my eyes, "Sure... Justin. Friends forever and always. No matter what." I turned away from him and pulled away from him. My heart laid in front of me shattered once more. After he said that he wouldnt' do what my ex did to me. He just basically did that. It really hurt. If he wasn't laying right next to me, I would have started crying.

"What's wrong, Nikki? Did I say something wrong?" Justin asked me. Like he didn't know that I liked him. He probably did that on purpose. Justin made my hopes go up and then he just let them fall and watch as they fell. I was wrong about him, he was just like every guy.

The tears were now streaming down my face, "Do you think your mom is still up?" It didn't sound like I was crying thank God. That would have been really bad if he heard the tears in my voice and there wouldn't be anyway to convince him that nothing was wrong after that.

"Yeah. I think so." He said softly. Justin also sounded upset, but what about I didn't know. I didn't really care right now either.

I got off the bed and walked out the room. I looked down the hall and noticed that the light in the livingroom was still on, so I walked on into the livingroom. Pattie was sitting on the couch watching the weather channel. I laughed to myself because that's something that my mother would have done if she couldn't have fallen asleep. "Pattie, can I talk to you about something important?" I asked her.

She looked up from the tv and saw that I was crying. "Oh come here sweetie. You can talk to me whenever you need to. I wouldn't turn you away ever even if your not my real daughter. With how close you and Justin seem it really seems like your my daughter through marriage right now." I started frowning and more tears come out.

I walked over to the couch and sat down beside her. She put her arms around me and hugged me. I was quiet for a couple minutes, but Pattie just sat there and waited for when I was able to speak about what was on my mind. "Justin, just wants to be friends." I said quietly.

Her mouth dropped open, "No, that's not possible, Nikki. He said he thought you were the one. What exactly did my son say to you?" Yeah, I knew that he said he thought I was the one, but there is no way of me being his one now. It doesn't matter what he said, because he don't like me any ways.

"He asked Nikki, forever and always? I didn't understand what he ask so I asked him what he meant. Justin said friends forever and always, right? That's when I started crying, because I realized that he only likes me as a friend nothing more Pattie. I give up! I got my heart broken by another boy I thought wouldn't hurt me, but I was wrong." I started crying harder then ever.

Pattie patted my back. She was trying to calm me down, but it wouldn't work, because I was to torn up on the inside to be even fixed now or to calm down. "Nikki, do you think he was trying to figure out what he should do? Do you think that he changed his mind to say something else for the forever and always? He probably is hesitant about it."

I frowned. How could I have been so stupid? I should have known Pattie would have stood up for him. Maybe she's right though about him being hesitant about it though. Then why would he be hesitant about it if he likes me? Was he trying to becareful of my feelings. Finally the tears stop rolling down my face.

"Well I think you were right... I just don't understand why he would be so hesitant about it though. Doesn't he realize how much I'm in love with him?" I said. Then I heard footsteps going down the hall. I looked at Pattie confused. She just shrugged her shoulders at me. Who could it have been in the hallway or was my imagination playing tricks on me again?

"He probably doesn't. Your the first girl to show any hint of feelings for him without him having to do really much of anything. Other girls he's liked have used him terrible. You could say he is also worried about starting this relationship. He knows you have been hurt, and he's been hurt." My mouth dropped open when Pattie said that. I couldn't believe that somebody would hurt Justin really bad. "Yeah, your shocked to hear that aren't you? I don't know why Justin hadn't told you."

I frowned really bad at this. Why wouldn't he say anything about it? He acted like he hasn't dated much. Now that I thought about it, that could be why he was so hesitant to start this relationship with me. I knew that I couldn't promise him that I wouldn't hurt him, but I could promise not to purposely hurt him. I also clenched my fists as I thought about all the girls that used him for their own good. That right there was enough to tick me off beyond repair.

"Yeah, I guess I understand why he was so hesitant about starting the relationship. If I was him I wouldn't trust really any girls at this time and point, I would automatically think that they were using me. Wait if he thought like that, why would he kiss me, write a song for me, and do everything that says he likes me." I said to Pattie. She looked at me as if to say what do you think. Then I finally caught on, it was because he did like me, but he was afraid about what would happen.

I jumped off the couch and gave Pattie a hug, "Thanks! 'Night!" I ran off to my bedroom. I flung the bedroom door open and smiled at him. He looked at me confused. I was so stupid not to realize that even though he says he's pretty much in love me, it's way deeper then he coulds say without him getting hurt.

So I ran over to my bed and jumped on to the bed. I grinned at him, "So! I'm stupid you know that right?" He let out a small laugh. I glared at him.

"I know what your talking about! Your not still mad at me are you? I didn't mean to make you cry again." Justin whispered into my ear. I smiled softly at him. He was worried about me being upset at him... Wow, did he care about me.

"I'm perfectly fine. Except for this little fact that I'm as tired as hell! Let's get some sleep." I hugged him and cuddled into him. He laughed again. Then Justin put his arms around me and hugged me to his body. It was really warm. Though it didn't bother me, it was comfortable for me.

"I love you." he whispered so softly that I didn't him.

I fought the urge to say what did ya say? Then I thought that the best thing for me to say was, this, "Forever and always." I smiled at how dorky that sounded coming from me. I knew Justin heard me because he hugged me tighter then he did before.

I fell into a peaceful sleep after that. Sometimes at moment like these that time would just stop and let us live this moment the rest of our lives. I knew though that God wouldn't let that happen though, but he would always let us remember that special moment. The last couple days I hope stay with me in my memories no matter what happens.

Well I think that was a little dramatic, but still. Hope you guys like this chapter! :DDD Review please!