Hey...so sorry about the delay of updating again. I'm moved back to college (for my last year! yay!) so i've been getting back into the swing of school, and accidently fell OUT of the swing of updating. Anyway. Sorry...but here's chapter 24! Kindda short, so maybe the next one will be sooner =) Thanks for the reviews! =D

Pinkshirt: ...it's not exactly AU. in CH 1 i did reference the Nick Hume thing, but the incident ended differently. obviously. So the movie happened (differently) already.

Christmas Experiences
You've begun to feel like home
What's min is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own
'Look After You' by The Fray

"You're just like your cousin," Joe laughed, watching Amanda blush at something he'd said. "Nat blushes easy, too."

They were at her cousin's house. Natalie was there just to hang out and help Amanda finish wrapping her presents and Joe had tagged along. He'd been complaining about being bored and asked to come along with her, so she'd taken pity on him and brought him with. They'd been doing that pretty often. During the day he didn't have much to do so she'd invite him along on errands or over to her house for a while watching movies or whatever.

"Well, we're just young, innocent girls; what do you expect," Natalie laughed.

"Right, get this," Joe turned to Amanda with a smirk. "A few days ago I walked in on her and my brother getting busy -"

"Joe!"

"And I mean they were really going at it. He had her on her hands and knees on the bed, ya know. Face down and ass up, that kind of thing, while he's going at her from behind. Hot shit -"

"Joe, seriously!" Natalie punched his arm.

"Ow," he laughed. "Anyway, once they were done and I saw her again she was so embarrassed. Man, it was great. And now you're both doing it," he laughed at the pair of them with tinges of pink in their faces.

"Next time I make you dinner, I'm poisoning it."

Joe just shrugged and pulled his back of cigarettes from his jacket on the back of the chair.

"Do that outside," Natalie requested.

He rolled his eyes but obeyed, stepping out the back door to smoke it.

"So…face down, ass up, huh?" Amanda rose an eyebrow.

Natalie rolled her eyes.

"So you guys, what, are into it rough?"

"Sometimes," Natalie shrugged. "When we want to, yeah."

"…even with Joe around?"

"Well it's kind of hard to avoid since he lives there," Natalie shrugged. "It's not like I'm ashamed of the fact we have sex; it was just embarrassing for Joe to see. Anyway, we know how to be descent about it."

"I bet it was," Amanda chuckled.

"Your roommate's never walked in on you then?" Natalie teased.

"Well Jared and I broke up…"

"Oh, sorry," Natalie cringed.

"It's okay…we only really fooled around usually and the only time we had sex was at his place, so no my roommate hasn't had to see," she shrugged.

"I knew my favorite cousin wasn't so innocent," Natalie winked.

"Well I mean we only really had sex the once…it was awkard"

"Aw, babe, then the two of you weren't doing it right…or he was just the wrong guy," Natalie sympathized.

"I take it that this Billy…he's the right guy…"

"Sexually?…hell yeah," Natalie admitted.

"I don't mean just sexually….do you, ya know, love him?" Amanda asked hesitantly, as if she felt that she was going to sound naïve implying they ought be in love.

"…yeah," Natalie smiled back.

"Really? When do I get to meet him then?" Amanda smiled happily.

"I don't know…sometime, I guess. Hey, Joe, you missed the sex discussion," Natalie teased him.

"Well shit…let's rewind and have it again, shall we?" he grinned.

"It was a one time sort of thing," Amanda playing along with the teasing; she was getting more used to him.

"Yeah…Joe, why don't you make yourself useful and help wrap something?" Natalie suggested.

"I will, but only if you want it to look like shit," he told her in a matter of fact way.

"Never mind," she decided as he took a seat with them at the dining room table.

"So, Mandy - can I call you that?"

"…I'd prefer you didn't," the blonde told him honestly. "Only my grandma does, and I have to pretend to like it."

"So, Amanda," he started over, unperturbed. "How come I haven't seen you around?"

"Well I wanted to come hang out with her and ditch our parent's dinner party, but she likes to go to barsand I'm not old enough - yet," she sighed.

"Aw, shit, Nat; Sammy'd serve her if she was with us," Joe complained. "When you turning the big twenty-one?"

"The 28th," she announced happily. "And Natalie's taking me out…Paige too, yeah?"

"Of course," Natalie agreed.

"Sweet; I'll buy ya a drink - you're bringing her to The Four Roses, right?"

"No," Natalie scoffed simply.

Amanda was a young college girl and should spend her 21st birthday off where normal college kids hung out, not in a smoky bar with a bunch of gang members.

"Why the hell not?" Joe frowned deeply.

"Yeah, why not?" Amanda asked a little flirtatiously.

"…you do not want to spend your 21st birthday there, trust me. That wouldn't be normal," Natalie laughed.

"I'll have Billy convince you," Joe decided.

"Oh please, why would he bother?"

She knew Billy picked his battles - she did, too - and he wouldn't find this worth arguing about. He might take Joe's side, but wouldn't get all persuasive like Joe was trying to imply.

"…why don't I want to go there?" Amanda frowned.

"For your 21st? Well, it's just…pretty rough," Natalie tried to describe it nicely; after all, she frequented the place and she liked it. "I'll bring you sometime, though; don't worry," she compromised.

"New Years," Joe decided for both of them. "You're coming on New Years Eve, no backing out."

"Okay," Amanda agreed with a laugh that may have been a little nervous.

"Keep wearing her down bout your 21st, though, and I will too," Joe winked.

Natalie watched their little exchanges and noted the interactions. She'd never pegged Joe as having much "game" but he was charming in a boyish kind of way, and apparently he knew it and knew how to use it.

They left a couple hours later, Natalie giving Joe a knowing look.

"What?"

"…she's a nice girl, Joe, so no games. That's all I'm saying."

"Oh please, it was innocent," he shrugged, fiddling with the radio; true, it had been, but Natalie definitely had a hot little cousin.

She dropped Joe off at the apartment and then headed home. It was Christmas Eve day so she was going home for a short holiday. She'd said goodbye to Billy that morning because he didn't plan to be in until later. According to him, junkies didn't take a break for Christmas…or any other holiday for that matter.

So she spent the evening with her parents and Julia and Logan, who were spending the night, too. Logan was old enough to understand the buzz about Christmas, so he was a little ball of energy.

"Nat-lee, why isn't Billy here for Christmas?" Logan pouted while they ate a late dinner that night.

The table grew quiet. Vince was over for dinner and he, for one, was trying not to laugh. Natalie's dad's eyes were about to bug out of his head, but she pretended not to notice.

"He's celebrating Christmas with his brother," she explained casually.

"Aw, he should be here," Logan complained before returning to his food.

"He's met Billy?" her dad asked through his teeth.

"A couple times…"

"Yeah, yeah; I like him. He gives me candy sometimes"

Christ's eyebrows rose a little higher and Natalie imagined he was now picturing Billy as a creep driving around in a big van handing out spiked candy to kids like some pervert.

"And…and when he picked me up it's way up high! He's tall," Logan merrily continued obliviously.

"Dad, don't have a stroke. It's okay. He's never been in danger - it's not a big deal."

Not a big deal. Those were her father's least favorite words regarding Billy….not that they every discussed Billy after the night Natalie had walked out. In fact, they didn't talk a whole lot about much anymore since she moved back in.

He opened his mouth but shut it after seeing his wife's warning look. He only shut up because the more he pushed the Billy topic the less she'd be around, which meant he was pushing her right to Darley when he got mad. He'd just have to sit back and wait for the damn fling to run it's course. When it came to a crashing halt he'd throw in an "I told you so" and count his lucky stars.

"You knew about this?" Chris asked Julie.

"Uh, yeah," she responded casually; she had, after all, though she was hesitant about the entire thing.

And then the topic of Billy was dropped - thank the Lord. Natalie really didn't want that tension clouding the whole holiday.

Their Christmas was enjoyable, but Natalie left after their late lunch that day. Her parents weren't too please but they didn't put up a huge fuss, just a few comments trying to persuade her to stay. She was ready to go, though, and see Billy and Joe.

They were both sitting in the living room lounging about as if this wasn't a huge holiday.

"Box by the tree's for you," Joe announced without getting up.

She looked at the little tree on the table and, sure enough, a box wrapped in red paper sat next to it with "From Joe" scrawled on it.

"Aw," she smiled, shedding her coat before snatching the box and sitting on the arm of Billy's chair to open it. "Oh, wow, these are cute," she praised, pulling the purple heels from the box.

"Paige picked 'em out," he shrugged a little sheepishly. "Didn't really know enough yet to get ya something' too neat but she said you like shoes."

"I do, and these are great. Thanks."

He nodded with a satisfied smile and a few minutes alter Billy got up. He was rustling through the cupboard so it surprised her when he came back and handed her two boxes.

"So you did get me something…." she grinned.

"Yeah I fuckin' got ya something'," he rolled his eyes, sitting back down and pulling her half into his lap.

His presents were wrapped in simple brown paper but it was done rather precisely, which surprised her. Although, he was very dexterous….she grinned and stopped that thought, pulling the paper away. The box's lid had no identifying writing so she pulled it open to find what she knew very well was a knife. She rose an eyebrow as Billy picked it up and flicked the side latch, springing out the blade.

"It's a knife to carry on ya"

"I knew what it was," she informed him, still eying it nervously. "But why?"

"Cuz ya can't bring a knife to a gun fight - that kind of shit. Gotta be prepared," he explained. "Bodie talked me out of the gun - said Angela flipped when he tried to get her to carry one or at least keep it in her car."

"Good for Bodie," Natalie told him, watching as he deftly closed the blade again.

"He even got girly colors for ya," Joe grinned, finding her uncertainty humorous.

True, the handle was black with some pink design on it. Still, a knife was a knife. "…and what am I supposed to do with it?"

"Just take it, huh? It'll make me feel better knowin' ya got it…ya never know…"

Natalie didn't like the sound of those words but leaned over to drop the knife in a pocket of her purse anyway. She opened the next present curiously, because, hey, what could be better than a knife.

This box was significantly larger than the first and did prove to be what she considered better than a knife. It was a leather jacket.

It wasn't a long trench coat like Billy's, but was black and cropped around the hips. It was different from all the boys' - as it was distinctly feminine - but was leather all the same which was like saying "Hey, you're one of us so you might as well dress like it sometimes."

Smiling, she hopped up and tried it on. It fit well and felt heavy enough on her to keep her warm. She scurried to the bathroom to take a look at herself in the fitted jacket. She'd never had a leather coat before but she liked the look.

"I like it…what do you think?" she asked, walking back out.

"You look good in leather," Billy smirked.

Natalie grinned and kissed him again before going to the bedroom, returning with two envelopes. She grabbed a box from the bag she'd brought in from the car, too, and dropped that in Billy's lap.

He eyed it curiously for a moment before moving to open it. It had been a long time since he'd gotten a legitimate present. Birthdays were celebrated out drinking with no real presents included, except a stripper or something, and any presents given between him and Joe - sometimes Bodie - were just forked over without pretense of wrapping paper.

He opened the box and on top of the tissue paper sat a Reese's, which he rolled his eyes at.

"Logan wanted you to have it - he was with me and Julie when I was shopping."

He sat it aside and plucked up the paper to find jeans…three pair on further inspection. They were a dark wash, his usual…everything appeared acceptable as he inspected them.

"Yes, they're the right size," she chuckled when he flipped the waist band to see. "I noticed you were at least a pair short so I got some…."

True. He'd gotten a pair caked in some blood a while ago, so he'd thrown them out rather than explain that to her.

"If they're too new, throw them in the dirt a little," she teased. "I just knew you don't like to go shopping…"

"Got that right"

She'd thought about it a lot and jeans didn't seem like the best Christmas present but there was also the time and effort she saved him from doing something he found annoying. Plus, she'd been able to balance how he liked his jeans and a better fit she picked.

"Thanks for savin' me the trouble"

"You're welcome," she nodded, accepting the less-than-eloquent gratitude. "And I got you both something else…they're kind of tradable or sharable…."

She handed them each an envelope and Joe pulled out his four tickets first

"Hey, the Bruins! Awesome. Never have gone to a real game…" he smiled brightly at the hockey tickets.

"I figured you could wrangle a free evening and take some guys," she told him, watching Billy pull out different tickets.

"MaxTap"

"Do you know what it is?'

"I've heard of it, yeah - how the hell did you know about it?" he rose an eyebrow.

"A magical invention called the internet," she grinned. "I wasn't sure how legit it was but I know some guys at school who are into it and they said the fighting is good," she told him about the amateur MMA venue she'd found out about.

"Someone did their research," he smirked.

"Well I do go to college," she grinned back.

"Right"

"So you've never been there?"
"Nah, but me and Bodie have talked about it before, though - thanks. These are sick," he gave her a kiss.

"Good - you're hard to buy for"

She'd considered getting him hockey tickets, too, but decided this way each brother would probably be attending both events with each other. They'd get to get out for some fun and also just spend some good time together.

"You did good…the multiple tickets mean you want to be invited?" he asked rather than play games.

"No, don't bother. Take some of the guys; they'll be more into it"

She's seen it enough on TV with him and the guys around that she knew it wasn't her favorite sport.

"We'll see," Billy decided, tugging her fully into her lap.

"So how was your Christmas this morning? Get up early around the tree and shit?…what's that like?" Joe questioned in a semi-interested tone.

Natalie cocked her head at the question and eyed him sadly. Had he and Billy really never had a family Christmas?

"What?" he frowned.

"Um, nothing…but it was fun. Logan was a spaz…"

"When isn't he?" Billy muttered, earning a pinch on the arm.

"Who's Logan?" Joe checked; it was annoying to be behind so often now after behind locked up.

"My nephew - and don't talk like that, Billy; you like him."

Billy scoffed. The runt had grown on him, maybe, but "like" was a bit of a stretch.

She told Joe a little more about what they'd done and he seemed casually interested until she mentioned the food, at which time he scolded her for not brining leftovers.

"If you're that hungry, go order us all something," she laughed.

He considered this.

"Chinese?" she encouraged.

"Hell yeah"

He went off to dig in a drawer for a take out number to figure out what he was going to order.

"So did you decide on my gift all on your own?"

"Yeah. I know what you like," Billy nodded confidently.

She smiled her approval and kissed him.

"But let me ask ya something…you ever mad I don't take ya out places? Like to some swanky place or some shit?"

"No," she laughed a little. "Why? Was that going to be your present?"

"I thought about it just cuz it wouldda been a hell of a fucking surprise, but I ain't about to go to some fancy place," he frowned in distaste. "But I know you're used to that kind of shit."

"Well…I kind of like that we don't do that."

He gave her a dubious look; clearly he wasn't buying it.

"No, really…I've been to those kinds of places for different reasons growing up; those places just seem fake a lot, I guess, like it's just an act sometimes," she told him honestly. "I mean, do you have to go to an expensive place when you can get good food and nice service somewhere more comfortable? It's just a bunch of people pretending for each other"

"Well that's what I think, but you don't have to lie…"

"I'm not," she laughed softly. "Nice or casual - it's just kind of all the same to me at this point most of the time. I would never want you to take me there if you were going to be uncomfortable about it - it's not worth it. You know it's one of the things I love about you…you let me be who I want…"

"Yeah?"

"Mmmhmm…anything goes with you - almost anything," she decided to amend with a laugh. "And it's freeing. I can just be and live, ya know?…sometimes I'm not sure how well I knew how to do that before you…." she opened up, feeling perhaps slightly sheepish about that last quiet confession.

Billy just stared and listened. They'd talked about these things before - about how she felt like anything went with him and how she found it intimidating and yet still exciting and right to be reveling in her autonomy. She'd come to find it liberating. Yes this had all been brought up before but he listened closely anyhow.

There he'd been, opening the door for criticism, leaving himself vulnerable to a personal attack, and instead she'd praise him and opened up in return.

It's not like he wanted to make every moment an emotionally touchy-feeling one, but he'd learned to appreciate the security of them mutually opening up to each other.

He grinned and stood with her, carrying her to his room and laying her under him on the bed. Maybe he wanted a little bit to hide his moment of insecurity behind sex, or he just wanted to solidify the close moment with physical intimacy. He was much more confident expressing himself that way, after all. One sort of closeness begot another, and he was more than content to get them closer and closer…the more a part of each other they were, the less likely he was to lose her.

They got down to business and emerged sometime later when Joe looked almost done with his current helping of food. Could've been his first or second, but neither cared that they'd missed the fresh food.

They lingered in the kitchen warming up food and exchanging pleased grins.

Merry fucking Christmas indeed.

"Yo, Billy!" Joe called over, breaking the peaceful mutual content they'd fallen into.

"What?" Billy sighed.

Their periods of peace, just the two of them, really never did get to last. If it wasn't one thing it was the other - not always bad things, just things…always something to do.

"Tell Nat to bring her cousin to The Four Roses for her 21st"

"Ya want to?" Billy shrugged, unbothered.

"No," Natalie sighed. "It's kind of a rough place for her when it's her first time out drinking. Don't take Joe's side and nag on it, please."

Billy just shrugged again and got the food from the microwave. Natalie chuckled, knowing she was right and Joe was wrong.

"She's hot then, huh?" Billy smirked, dropping to sit on the couch between his brother and Natalie.

"Yeah"

"Be good," Natalie pointed a threatening finger past Billy at him.

Joe ignored her and Billy bit the finger that was hovering around his face. She laughed and tried to pull it free, but just pulled his face closer in the process, making him duck in for a long kiss.

"Ugh," Joe grumbled, getting up to move to the armchair.

The other occupants of the couch just chuckled at his expense before digging in. Natalie was close to Billy's side feeling awfully content. It wasn't a conventional Christmas day, but she liked it that way. She was definitely beginning to appreciate the fact that not everything you're doing has to be the same or the way you planned as long as you like the people you're with.

The end. Hope you enjoyed.