I'm SUPER sorry it's been weeeeeks since i added the last chapter. I've been crazy busy and also...i think i'm just a little sorry to be done with this...well, for now anyway. I've really enjoyed the story so i'm bummed for it to be done-ish... ... ...but i'll say more at the end...

dah, i feel very nervous uploading this...

Adult
Maybe if my heart stops beating
It won't hurt this much
And never will I have to answer
Again to anyone
'Never Let This Go' by Paramore
_

The next couple days passed in a blur.

Vince had guided Natalie into her bed that night and, despite her crying, she'd fallen asleep almost instantly. She'd felt numb when she woke up, and even though Vince felt uncomfortable with crying he didn't like seeing her blank face either. It was probably better to show emotion….right?

Well he got his wish that afternoon after he ran out to get some food for them. He walked back in to see her throw her phone down, tears pouring over her cheeks.

"Aw, girl, what happened?" he asked, quickly setting down the food.

"…Billy wouldn't answer," she sniffed, sinking to sit on the corner of the bed. "What's he doing?"

"…doing what's right. After everything that's happened even he's smart enough to know the score…" he explained, squatting in front of her to be able to look her in the face.

"I didn't mean to - it just happened…" she cried, wiping at her eyes.

"What happened?" Vince asked, wondering if she'd left a bad voicemail or something.

"Everything that's happened…with Riley, with Ethan - I know I've caused a lot of trouble and-"

Vince threw a finger over her lips and looked at her sternly.

"You shut up right now with all that," he ordered. "That ain't your fault - it's his. That's the whole point, chica. He knows. He knows what he's done to you….shit, Nat; no it's not your fault. He hasn't been cleaning up your messes, he's cleaning up his own!"

Natalie shook her head but then rethought and nodded instead. She knew it wasn't her fault…Billy would be pissed at her for even thinking that.

Billy…

So she cried some more and Vince didn't have much choice but to just hold her; he still didn't fully know how to react to the tears, but no one else was there to do if for him so he sucked it up.

Natalie thought somewhere in the back of her mind that she was being a little melodramatic…but, no, a man she'd loved broke it off with her. Not to mention he'd done it unceremoniously and just following one of the scariest times of her life. The weight of Billy being done with her on top of the emotional rollercoaster she'd gone through in that basement was too overwhelming.

So there were a lot of tears for the few days they stayed holed up in the hotel. Vince patiently muddle through the role of comforter - it wasn't as though he'd been expecting her to like this. He didn't blame her for thinking he was lying at first; he hadn't expected it to happen either…..

They hurried downstairs and out front where all their cars were waiting.

"You," Billy pointed at Vince, waving him over.

Vince strode to Billy's side, sure he was going to get the "You do as I say" talk again before they left.

"Man, I'm ready to back your play…let's just go get her," Vince cut him off, itching to just go already.

"Yeah, we're gonna get her…you're gonna take her outta the city," Billy nodded confidently.

"Huh?"

"Where it's safe…just for a few days or somethin' to be sure," Billy continued, shoving a wad of cash into Vince's coat. "Don't let anything happen to your ass, cuz you're the one who's gotta take her away…"

"…away…" Vince narrowed his eyes, unsure if this was going where he thought - it couldn't possibly be.

Everyone was milling around and Vince saw Bodie watching, waiting impatiently, but Billy was being quiet enough that no one else was involved in the conversation.

"Yeah - away from here, away from me. Give her a few days, let her forget about me, and take her to her parents'," he spat.

"Forget about you?" Vince's eyes widened.

"That's what I fuckin' said," Billy snapped. "She shouldn't be anywhere near me, god damn it. Don't pretend ya don't fuckin' know that; you're not stupid. I'm fucking trusting ya to get her out and keep her safe," Billy shoved his finger into Vince's chest.

"She ain't gonna like it, bro," Vince told him warily.

"No shit, but who gives a fuck. You don't. Just do it!" Billy snarled.

Why was the moron arguing? Shouldn't he be fucking ecstatic? They didn't even get along, surely he knew Natalie was better off as far away from Billy as she could get.

"Alright, man…I can do that," Vince nodded in the affirmative.

"Good. Here's extra keys to Jamie's car," Billy pulled out a key ring and tucked that in Vince's coat, too. "His is the white one; take that when you leave. I'll tell him later."

"Okay…"

Vince started at Billy, took in his hard face, his set but slightly wild eyes.

"…you gonna be alright?"

"Like ya give a shit; let's go," Billy shrugged, leading the way to his car and motioning Vince into the back before he got behind the wheel.

"You good?" Bodie rose an eyebrow when they got in the car.

"I'll be fucking good when we get these fuckers"

And that was that. Vince had his assignment from Billy and to hell if he wasn't going to follow through. He was shocked Billy had come to the decision, but Vince didn't disagree. Natalie, too, should find in time that it would be better this way.

Better to let someone like Billy Darley be a memory.

"Oh my God, what happened?" Jennifer Shepherd gasped, hurrying down the hall when Natalie and Vince let themselves inside the house.

She got one look at Natalie's face, which still had a fading bruise on it and a thin cut on her cheek bone - the cut was from being backhanded by a man with a ring, but she wasn't going to tell her mom that.

"We just got in an accident yesterday, we're okay," Vince answered with a calm look.

Jennifer examined Natalie's face and then pulled her into a hug.

"Mom, ow," Natalie muttered, pulling back.

She'd been transported too roughly and shoved into walls enough that her body was sensitive and sore…but she wouldn't tell her mom that either.

"What?"

"Just whiplash; I'm sore…" she explained, easing back.

"What's going on…the hell?" her dad entered, stopping, glaring at the marred skin on her face.

"There was a car accident, Chris; both of them," her mom fussed. "Vince, are you okay?" her mom asked, examining the gash along his chin.

"Yeah, just glass…no body was seriously hurt," Vince promised.

"…did you go to the hospital?"

"…no"

"Oh, well, we need to disinfect this," Jennifer insisted; she needed something to do with her hands or she'd flip out.

Vince happily let her lead him to the guest bathroom to fetch the first aid kit and see what she could do for the wound; he'd had worse, but he'd humor her.

"You sure you're okay?" her dad asked, eyes scanning her in concern.

She nodded.

"You should've called us, honey; we should've come to get you…."

"We were with some of Vince's friends, so we got a ride. We crashed at Vince's last night night"

"Vince's…not Billy?"

"No. Vince," she nodded, scratching her head for something to do; she didn't want to talk about that.

"Alright…why don't you come sit down and rest," her dad nodded, giving her a light hug before he took her to the other room.

Natalie returned the hug earnestly, wrapping her arms tightly around him. She couldn't help it. Maybe they didn't always get along - they definitely didn't always get along - but he was something constant in her life. As the father figure, he was the pillar of protection and security…and she was just feeling really small right about now.

He started in surprise but continued to hug her in return, careful of the body she'd announced was sore.

"…this wasn't a car accident, was it?" he whispered after several long moments without pulling away.

"… …no," she admitted just as quietly.

"Natalie, did he do something do you? Did he hurt you - is that why Vince is here?"

"No"

"…if he did something I can protect you; I can make sure he goes away," he promised, still not pulling away lest that break the moment she was choosing to be honest with him in.

"Billy didn't do anything," she promised, voice hitching on his name. "Something happened but it wasn't him - he's the one who came and got me. Him and Vince…"

"What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it"

And for the first time since this "Billy thing" had started, Chris let those words go. She felt too fragile to him right now to question it further. Besides, she was there…and she wasn't keen on the Billy subject; maybe it was done.

He was ruefully impressed, however, to hear the man had protected his daughter. Still, without all the details, there was no reason to give the hoodlum too much credit.

"…should we just let your mom think it was an accident?"

Natalie tried not to smile, since it wasn't funny, but she nodded as she pulled apart form her dad.

"Alright"

The next day Vince let himself into The Four Roses; he'd probably never be back, but he was alright with that. He spotted "the guys" in the back but he didn't go chum it up with them. They'd all been alright with each other while they all worked together to find Natalie, but he didn't think he counted them as friends. Allies for the time, but they weren't much more than that.

"Can you make sure Billy gets these, amigo, yeah?" Vince asked Sammy, pulling keys from his pocket that belonged to a white car that wasn't his.

"…you already got his attention, buddy," Sammy nodded to the large table in the back.

Vince swiveled his head around and, sure enough, Billy was staring straight at him with a cigarette in his lips, face blank. Some of the other guys were watching, but said nothing. Vince held the keys up to indicate them and then set them on the corner of the bar before draping Billy's coat over a stool. Billy ticked his head up in a nod of acknowledgement, and with that Vince left. He didn't look back, didn't care to try and stay attached to any of them. He'd bonded-in with them to do what had to be done; now it was over and he could move on. Move on like he always did. He'd be staying in the city, though, to make sure Natalie was alright.

"The hell?" Joe muttered.

He knew the keys had to be Jamie's; this Vince had used the car to get Natalie out of dodge the other night. They'd all gotten rowdy upon realizing the absence of the car, Vince, and Natalie, but Billy hadn't batted an eye. Instead he told them to forget it.

So then they'd assumed Vince had taken her to the apartment or, worse case, the hospital. But he wasn't anywhere…neither of them were. Still, Billy wasn't freaking out the way he should've been. Three days, now, and not a word on any of it; the guys all exchanged looks and quite words when Billy wasn't around, but they weren't damned stupid enough to question it to his face.

Only Joe had braved that, and Billy had promptly told him to mind his own damned business.

"Didn't I tell you to shut the fuck up, Joe?" Billy glared at him across the table.

"B-"

"Fuck off!" Billy barked.

Joe still felt a little defiant but Bodie nudged his shoulder, shaking his head slowly. No good could come of it, not right now.

Natalie had returned to school quickly; she wanted something to feel normal. Maybe if she pretended enough then she'd snap out of the daze she was in and pull it together.

She'd soon realized school would be a little hard, though, and couldn't deny it after a few more days of class. She had books at Billy's, and her laptop was there, too. She didn't know what to do about that, though her first instinct had been to call Vince. That made sense…Vince was obviously in on the whole thing so Billy would let him finish what he started and help sever their connection permanently.

So she wasn't sure why she was parked at Billy's building, staring at his Mustang next to her car. This wasn't the easy way, wasn't the painless way to do thing. But Billy had her things…school supplies and clothes. If this was his choice, then she needed her stuff back.

She swallowed heavily and grabbed the duffle bag from the back seat before trudging up the stairs slowly. This place had a lot of memories, mostly good ones, and she wasn't sure if she could even handle being in his apartment right now.

She knocked, never mind that she still had an old copy of the key. It didn't feel right to let herself in.

"It's open"

She almost turned around when she heard his voice; maybe she didn't want to do this.

She knocked again; she didn't want to let herself in…the action would be too familiar. She heard movement, stomping around and then a hand grabbed the handle roughly.

"I said it w-"

He froze, eyes wide in shock. He quickly narrowed them, waiting silently.

"I, uh…need my stuff," she explained; she hadn't felt this nervous in front of him since she first met him.

Billy tilted his head and then turned to look around the apartment. Well, fuck him, her stuff was wherever she'd left it. A couple books sat on the coffee table and her laptop was sitting at the edge of the table. Her clothes were in his room, too; he just hadn't thought about it because he hadn't opened that drawer. He hadn't noticed her things because, well, he was used to having them there…like they belonged.

They didn't belong there.

He stepped back and opened the door wider to let her pass. She did, not letting herself edge closer to him. She looked around, unsure where to start. So she just started closest to her at the coffee table because she had to start somewhere -she couldn't just keep standing there like an idiot. Billy just watched her drop books into the black bag she'd brought.

He silently followed a few feet behind when she went to the bedroom. She set her bag on the dresser and started to pull out the clothes in the middle drawer, which had at some point become hers upon unspoken agreement. She folded the clothes and set them away, but she soon wasn't bothering to straighten anything and was just tucking them away without a word. It took him a minute to realize it was because she was crying. Her eyes were full and tiny tears leaked past her eyelid.

Natalie didn't like being in there. She didn't like seeing the bed where they'd made love, the place they'd just spent time just laying together, where Billy had said a lot of things she didn't know gang lords could even say.

"…Joe can bring you your stuff," Billy finally spoke, throwing her a lifeline.

She stopped and thought about it for a minute but shook her head, and shoved away a pair of jeans.

"I should do it," she responded quietly, wiping the dampness away with a finger.

He sighed and she squatted to grab the couple pair of shoes she had there tucked under the end of bed. She dropped them into her bag, trying not to look at Billy. Why the hell was he just standing there anyway?

"What's the matter with you?" she turned to him, throwing her hands up because anger had bubbled unbidden within her.

Billy's eyebrow jumped at the turn of emotions but he remained impassive.

"Answer me…can you?"

He just stood there, crossing his arms over his chest.

"…well, you have the worst timing. If you were going to drop me on my ass you should've done it a long time ago - it would've saved us all some trouble," she shook her head at him, grabbing the last few articles of clothing and shoving them in her bag in one big heap.

"Worst timing," she continued to mutter. "You could've done it before - you could've told me," she changed her sentence, not wanting to mention anything that had happened. "I don't even remember our last kiss cuz, ya know…you never expect it to be the last one. And the last person to have their hands on me was Ethan so, ya know, that was great," she bit sarcastically, wiping away tears that betrayed her and slipped down her face. "You just should've told me."

She dried her eyes and grabbed her bag to brush past him but he grabbed her arm before she got far. He turned her quickly and kissed her, deepening it quickly.

"Now you'll remember," he informed her, pulling her back to continue kissing her.

They both poured passion into it; it was almost frantic. Billy's hands slowly skimmed her sides and rounded under her butt to slowly lift her up around his waist. He settled her there and one hand stayed under her while the other rubbed her thigh, then moved up to cup her face and continue to kiss her. Her arms were wrapped loosely around his neck and she was breathing raggedly by the time his mouth descended to her neck.

"…this doesn't change anything, but I can take him away," he whispered when he was close to her ear.

He'd gladly take Ethan off her skin, out of her memory, but that didn't change his decision.

Natalie didn't speak right away, just let him continue to suck along her throat. He was touching her so carefully and their kiss had been so passionate…it was perfect. Or it would be if it wasn't heartbreaking. Each movement was so sweet, but it tore her apart.

"I can't," she forced herself to say, even if she wanted to.

She'd want to stay even more if they did this. If they wound up in bed, she'd never want to get out…it would make leaving harder than it was.

"Billy, I can't"

He stopped and slowly lowered her to her feet, turning away and rubbing his nose agitatedly.

"It doesn't have to be this way," Natalie told him after taking a step back to give their bodies space.

"I made my decision," Billy shook his head.

"Bu-"

"You should just get your shit, Nat, and go. I shouldda sent Joe with your stuff by now; you shouldn't be here. Ya never shouldda been here…..fuckin' stupid," he shook his head.

"Hey, I-"

"It ain't worth it; it never was. Just go ahead and get your shit," he instructed, waving his hand towards the apartment.

She could see something different about his eyes now. He was sure; this was his final decision, and everybody knew there was no arguing with him when his mind was made up. She used to have sway with him but If she "wasn't worth it" like he said than she doubted she had that influence now.

She shook her head and went to the bathroom to grab her small bag of things, and she packed up her computer and put it on the top of everything in her bag. She took in the alcohol bottles sitting in the sink….more than typical, but it didn't look like that was her problem anymore.

She knew the way out so she opened the door for herself, but she couldn't quite get herself to step over the threshold.

"Billy…" she turned back around, hand still on the door.

"Just go…c'mon, get out," he told her firmly.

He didn't want to get in a rage to get her out but he really couldn't look at her right now. Couldn't fucking face her. He didn't want this to end in a hideous way, but he just wanted it to fucking end. Didn't she get it?

And she did go, clicking the door shut behind her. He wished she would've slammed it - that would've fit better with his fucking mood.

Natalie took the elevator down with her bag. She could picture the first time she'd been in the building…he was standing right where she was now, watching her, goading her…kissing her for the first time.

She hurried out when the doors opened with a "ping" and she walked briskly to her car.

"Nat!"

She jumped but relaxed to see Joe jogging over. He had that infamous brown leather sack swinging on his arm. Billy had that on him now and then - stupid thing.

"Hey Joe," she nodded, unlocking her car to drop her bag inside.

"You got your stuff…." he eyed it remorsefully.

"Yeah I needed some of it," she nodded.

"Well…well…" he couldn't seem to spit the words out.

"Well…what?"

"…I didn't think it was for real," he muttered, scuffing his foot on the ground.

"Whatever," Natalie tried to shrug if off.

Joe didn't buy it and he didn't like it. He didn't want her to go. He liked having her around; she was a fun girl and most of all he liked what she did for Billy. Billy was different with her around, and Joe just liked her. She was like a sister and he could be real with her…nonchalant and just…something.

"I should go, Joe," she sighed; she didn't want to hang around. "I'm sure I'll see you."

She wasn't positive of that, of course, but if anything happened with him and Amanda then she was sure she'd hear about it and see the two.

"Hold on," Joe spoke up, reaching into his sack.

Natalie's eyes widened. From what she'd gathered there were only ever two things in there: drugs or money. She wanted neither from him.

So she was surprised when he pulled out her little black purse….the one she'd had that night by Vince's house.

"Oh…"

"Yeah, I was gonna give it to Paige…or Baggy to give to Paige, whichever came first," he explained. "You're phone's there, too…Billy had me take it to get fixed cuz the screen cracked."

"Thanks Joe," she smiled, taking it.

"Yeah, it wasn't a big deal…see you then I guess…"

"Bye," she smiled, getting in and going straight home.

She didn't cry like she thought she would….though she knew it would happen later, maybe when it was dark and she could curl up in her bed. She wouldn't say she felt at "peace" but she felt calm for now.

Unfortunately her dad was home when she walked in with the large, filled duffle bag with her clothes, school things, and whatever else she'd seen and grabbed of her own.

"What's that?" her dad frowned.

"My stuff," she answered simply.

"… …oh," he realized after a moment. "…that's a lot of stuff to have had at an apartment that's not yours," he felt the need to point out.

"Yeah, well, I'm an adult, and adults live together all the time, dad," she responded, not caring if it was rude, before she lugged it upstairs.

Yes, they were adults. They'd made their decisions.

Adults could cope…deal and move on. So she'd be an adult and move on.

They'd both have to.

Natalie wasn't sure what she'd ever had planned as far as a long-term future for Billy and herself, hadn't really thought out the details. She was certain she hadn't foreseen this, though; she hadn't seen the sudden split. But it had happened and she'd have to move on.

She'd been adult enough to make the informed decision of being with Billy Darley. Now she had to be adult enough to pick up the pieces and move on.

Ahhhhh, i know! It's an ending that would make me do an "Ugh, what!" buuuut...i've kind of liked those kinds of stories lately...ones that end in a way you don't expect or just don't end ideally. Because, let's face it...not everything is ideal =( awww. EEK. Don't be salty of this ending... this is just where the story took me...FOR NOW. Because i like this whole thing, I plan to BE BACK when i actually get some damned time. the last year of college really is running me down, as much as i try not to let it

BUT i shall return eventually! .

Mostly i just want to thank everyone who has followed the story and shown some love! I am so completely thankful! It's been so great to have some support for my little creative outlet =) I don't know you all but i love all of ya =)