Breathe Into Me
And this is how it looks when I am standing on the edge
And this is how I break apart when I finally hit the ground
And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain
And this is how I disappear when I throw myself away
Jenny
5/2/11
3:12 a.m.
The Death Eaters swarmed closer until I had to kick groups of them away at a time. Wizards who recognized us formed a ring around the Death Eaters, trying to hex them away, and after a moment, killed some of them and diverted their attention away from us, allowing me to finish getting Lupin inside the castle. After some leading on his part, we found ourselves in a deserted chamber off of the Entrance Hall, giving him privacy and security. I need to find Draco and keep fighting, ok? Will you be alright here on your own? I have to-I have to go avenge Brian. I swore, and hearing the anger in my voice, Lupin sounded cautious when he replied.
I'll be fine, but Jenny, wait, Jenny! He managed to shout in his head at me as I ran away. I couldn't even address the new mind connection now, there wasn't enough time to think about it. I had to find Draco and make sure he was alright. Brian's death sparked a terrible round of thoughts. What if Draco was dead, or Hermione, or anyone from the Order? Before I could get too far, Voldemort's voice echoed through the air again.
"You have fought valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery. Yet you have sustained heavy losses. If you continue to resist me, you will all die, one by one. I do not wish this to happen. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a loss and a waste. Lord Voldemort is merciful. I command my forces to retreat immediately. You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat you injured."
I stopped listening as he threatened Harry, and skidded into the Great Hall, grabbing any remaining Death Eaters by their necks and throwing them out down the steps. I wanted them to be punished, to die as Brian and so many others had, but there was no time. I had to make sure Draco was still alive, and that Lupin was treated. I had to find my friends and family and make sure they were safe. I darted back inside, ignoring the usual screams and shouts of surprise and fear as I slid down the hall and into the room Lupin was in. I helped him stand again, then we walked slowly into the Great Hall. It was deathly silent until we came in, and half of the crowd stood up, quickly drawing their wands until with relief, I saw Tonks stand up on a table. "Don't harm them, alright? Both are on our side, they work for the Order! Both know who they are and won't attack anyone!" Muttering and shooting us glances, most of the wizards sat back down, backing away.
Tonks ran over and shadowed us as I walked Lupin over to where Madam Pompfrey and a group of helpers were healing the injured as fast as they could. Lupin flopped down with a sigh, making a centaur next to him shift nervously. "Thank Merlin you are both safe," She knelt and buried her face into Lupin's coat. He started to rumble a purr, wrapping her in his tail.
"Jenny!" Draco's voice made me turn and bow my head over Draco's back as he hugged one of my legs. My own purr instantly started up, but stopped as he pulled back, looking at his hands. They were covered in my blood from some wound on my back. He danced around me, muttering "Episkey!" multiple times under his breath until he was satisfied. Then he hesitated in front of me. "Jenny, Brian is dead." He said lowly, and I bowed my head, nodding it slowly, ears flattening. I was, feeling that torturing grief I was so used to fill my heart until I thought it would burst. He tugged on some of my fur until I stood up and silently followed him, people scattering as we approached the line of dead. Brian looked like he was sleeping, except for the long claw mark going all the way across his body, and the dark blood stain on his clothing. Before I could stop myself, one mournful grieving howl escaped and I collapsed next to him, putting my tail over my head. My body was trembling, but I still couldn't cry.
It was torture. I wanted to speak, to cry, to express the emotion building inside, but no one would understand yips and barks. Revenge didn't even appeal to me anymore; I knew it would be useless. I had nothing but the survivors of some of the danger I had brought upon my own friends and family. I felt Draco lean against me and slowly pet my coat. He knew that Brian had been the last person left from my past that the Death Eaters hadn't killed, but now they had finished the job. Jenny, I'm sorry. Lupin's 'voice' came to me before the sound of his paws as he came over and I could sense him standing near me. I unwound my tail and then my leg, Draco standing up slowly, a hand on my head after I raised it to meet Lupin's gaze.
They're all gone. I thought it so quietly, he almost didn't catch it. Sighing, he settled his massive bulk down next to mine. I thought I had saved Brian, but I only made things worse for him. He had to watch as Draco and I obviously got closer. He found out tonight about us, and then the war started. I didn't get to explain fully until-until the wolf got off of me and slashed him down. He didn't belong here.
The ones we love are never truly gone, Jenny. Lupin thought quietly, but I just returned my gaze back to Brian.
I'm a curse, Lupin. Wherever I go, people die, people that I love. And in return, all I can do is get angry enough to murder the ones responsible, and then I realize what I've done wrong, only for someone else close to me to die, to start the reaction over again.
Don't say that-
"Harry Potter is dead. He was killed as he ran away, trying to save himself while you lay down you lives for him. We bring you his body as proof that your hero is gone. The battle is won. You have lost half of your fighters. My Death Eaters outnumber you, and the Boy Who Lived is finished. There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist, man, woman, or child, will be slaughtered, as will every member of their family. Come out of the castle now, kneel before me, and you shall be spared. Your parents and children, your brothers and sisters will live and be forgiven, and you will join me in the new world we shall build together."
Silence filled the hall, and I rose uncertainly. It had to be a lie, it had to be a trick. Everyone looked at each other, unsure as well. I spotted Hermione and Ron and without thinking I got up and in a few bounds, pulled up beside Ron. Hermione took a deep breath and took Ron's hand, and I walked behind them, only stopping to let Draco swing up on to my back. Slowly, everyone exited the Entrance Hall and fanned out on the steps. Lupin stopped beside me, Tonks on his back, her face cold, yet her eyes full of pain. As if from a mist, Death Eaters started appearing, then Voldemort, and then a man who wasn't a giant, but he wasn't a man. In his arms was Harry, and I could tell he was dead. Despair washed over me like a tidal wave, pushing down on me and filling my chest. My claws extended and dug into the rock.
"Harry! HARRY!" Ron bellowed, one arm around Hermione, the other hand holding his wand limply by his side. A deep growl grew in my chest until my teeth bared into a snarl.
Jenny, do you smell that? Lupin's voice was drowning in misery, but once I inhaled, I froze. Two more wolves were on his side, I could smell them pacing in the back. Voldemort's voice dulled in my ears as my vision narrowed and sharpened into the mist concealing the wolves, until I could see the outlines of them, making my low growl stop abruptly. These wolves were huge, almost bigger than Lupin.
Do you see them too? They're almost bigger than you. This isn't going to be easy. If anything-
I see them. Lupin interrupted me, his low rumbling growl starting up again, his ears flattening back, the edge of his lip curling up in a slow snarl. A bang sounded, and I saw a student's wand fly into the air and disappear, but my gaze snapped back to the wolves. Both had stopped prowling and sat down side by side, watching us. Suddenly, the giant on our side lumbered into view, and more troops above us started firing hexes as centaurs from the forest stampeded out of it and fired into the crowd of Death Eaters. Lupin and I seemed to crouch at the same time, shaking to force our passengers off, ignoring questions, and leapt down through the fray, the final two wolves snaking through the crowd towards us. "JENNY!" I heard Draco bellow after me, but I ignored that too, putting on an extra bust of speed then throwing myself at my opponent, even though he was two sizes bigger than me. The force of his bulk slamming into me threw us backwards, wizards and centaurs scattering out of the way of our little bundle of teeth and claws. This wolf was bigger and stronger, but I was faster. His deep snarls hung in the air, attracting attention.
If I had thought for one second that the fight with the wolf previously had been difficult, this wolf presented a whole new challenge. His claws raked out bits of my golden fur everywhere as I constantly nipped and swiped at the more sensitive areas on a wolf, the stomach, tail and face. With a sudden roll sideways, there were suddenly two more wolves. Our fight had collided with Lupin's, sending fur, teeth and claws everywhere. As we broke apart, I found myself under a new wolf with a flaming red pelt that was as fast as I was. The bangs of the general fight were getting dimmer, they must have moved inside. With all the force I could muster, I slammed my opponent against the stone wall of Hogwarts and sliced a deep cut right across his forehead, invoking a roar from him, and a snarl from me as we spun in a dangerous dance, trying to hit one another into the wall of windows to try to deliver a death blow.
The red wolf squirmed and then bit down hard on my left ear, making me howl, then scream as his teeth passed deeper and deeper. With a roar, he tore it off, spitting it off to the side, giving me just enough time to slash at his ribs. With a vicious snarl, he used his weight to pin me, snarling in my face then yelping as I slashed at his lower belly before he could bite out my throat. The wolf seemed to heave, then he sunk his claws into my chest, making me screech again, but the sound was more strangled this time. The blood pouring from my ear was taking its toll, and the sharp punctures from this wolf's claws sent my head spinning, filling it with a strange burning sensation. As fast as I could force my arm to move, as the wolf bent down to bite out my throat, I slashed one claw across his throat, making him freeze as the vein there was ripped through by my claw. His blood left no color on his pelt as he staggered backward, making me yelp as his claws were drawn out. He staggered and fell over, just as the sun broke over the horizon, it's light hitting my skin, sending red hot shivers to every inch of my skin.
With a groan, my world shrank, and then with another pop, I was lying on the grass, a human again, new pains flaring down my nerves. I forced my hand up to cup my left ear, and instead felt a sticky mass of warm blood, and a hole. A flash of light hit my foot and after a moment, I had clothing on. I went to sit up, but Draco's face appeared, and a sure hand rested on my shoulder, keeping me still. "Jenny, it's ok, its over. He's dead, Voldemort's d-" Two hands grabbed him and yanked him back, his wand falling next to me as I propped myself up, then staggered upright in horror, snatching Draco's wand. A man I didn't know had Draco over his knee, his teeth sinking into the side of Draco's neck. My wand hand seemed to rise of its own accord.
"Avada Kedavra!" I shrieked, and the jet of green light hit the man in the face. He fell as I ran to Draco's side, hardly breathing as I raised the wand again with a shaking hand. "Episkey!" My voice trembled as the bite stopped bleeding, but didn't heal. I dropped the wand and lightly shook Draco. "Draco, Draco, can you hear me?" My voice cracked from its night of abuse, and from the tears falling from my eyes. I wasn't angry anymore, my spells weren't working. I had to find someone to heal the bite on his neck. Draco's eyes flickered then opened, focusing on my face.
"Jenny," he croaked, and then clenched his teeth for a moment "I changed my mind," He mumbled, but I listened closer anyway, even if he was becoming delirious. "I want to marry you now." He mumbled, and then hissed in pain. I laughed, and it was shaky, but it made a weak grin appear on his face. Footsteps came over, and then Lupin was on my other side. Blood was dripping off of his nose, but other than that, he seemed to be alright.
"He was bitten, I tried to stop the bleeding-" I trailed off pathetically as Lupin's face turned cold. Unconsciously, I took Draco's hand and held it tightly.
"He will be a werewolf, there is no doubt." Lupin said in a defeated tone of voice, making me freeze.