Lela: ENVY, YOU DON'T KILL ASLAN! *smacks upside head*

Envy: I DIDN'T KILL ASLAN!

Sonya: Hey look, we're on again!

Greed: FINALLY!

Roy: *quivers in corner*

Kayla: Okay, and Ace is still terrified of you readers killing her, so she gave Ed the chapter for today.

Ed: *waves chapter*

Kayla: Review answering time!

Ed: CSI Aphrodite, Ace did want your cookies, but she's still terrified to come out for the next couple of chapters because of all the stuff that goes on.

Sonya: I LOVE BEING POPULAR!

Kayla: Well duh, that's gonna happen!

Greed: Um, not quite...

Kayla: SHUT UP! *smacks Greed over head with frying pan*

Envy: And yes, you can come to Narnia with us, but for the last time, I DIDN'T KILL ASLAN! He was dead when I got there, honestly.

Kayla: Thanks for the encouragement, Furorensu-chan, I will find Ed soon!

Roy: *stares at stick in shock* My no-rape stick. *cries*

Envy: Listen, neoko-chan, we appreciate the help, but we hate that boob-guy.

Sonya: I love how no one's figured out who he is. I mean, come on, he's mentioned in the story!

Kayla: *pouting* And I did not eat the cake. That was Greed.

Greed: *still unconscious so he is unable to defend himself*

Lela: Ari, I think you're the only smart one there, please make sure neoko-chan doesn't steal something from Greed, or call Envy ugly, or insult Ed, or anything else, got it? Ace likes reviews, even if she is in a bomb shelter right now.

Ed: Ace5980 does not own FullMetal Alchemist.

5: The Heart's Greatest Desires

Lela's eyes blearily opened, and she groaned, the tip of her tail twitching. Rapidly, she ran through the things she knew. She'd been kidnapped by alchemists, no doubt for some kind of horrible experiment. She was strapped to some kind of clear plastic inscribed with a transmutation circle. She was naked. All of this was simple fact to the chimera. She had to devise something and she had to do it fast. Her blurry eyes picked up a golden heap on the floor under hers, the alchemist she distinctly recalled from the Fifth Lab, with a large black wolf and spotless gold leopard pacing the outside of the circle. Above her was a bunch of red dust with a black panther and above that was a small platform with a black and white pile of limbs, all beneath a large golden sarcophagus inscribed with alchemy circles.

Brain spinning, she overlapped the designs in her head and visibly paled. Individually, the four circles would prove dangerous to whatever was inside them, but together, their sole purpose was to literally shred apart the very boundary between this world and the next. Her head fell against the floor, and she felt the cool metal of her collar press against her chest. Her ears drooped. The fact her collar had been left on when her clothes hadn't been surely wasn't a good sign.

Sonya crashed through the glass ceiling, landing heavily. Panicked men shot at her, but she ignored the superficial stinging of the bullets in favor of dusting herself off and manifesting Final Judgment. "This is your first and final warning," she said darkly, her body healing in a display of white sparks, "leave this forbidden place now or suffer the eternal torment of Justice and the Final Judgment."

Only one man didn't take the way out offered to them, the alchemist. "Paradox is outside the jurisdiction of Justice. You cannot touch me!" She lunged, but in an impossible movement for a mortal, she was thrown into an alchemy circle as it activated, causing her back to arch and her to let out a piercing scream as her angelic nature tried to fight the foreign pull of the alchemy.

Knowledge gasped, his wings momentarily faltering. Paradox was here? That was impossible! But yet, it made so much sense. If Paradox's influence extending this far even now, that would explain why the carrot had been dangled the way it had. There was only one option. Paradox was coming and he had to fight it. I'm sorry, he thought as he sped ahead of the others, but this fight is mine and mine alone.

The bottom array lit up first, using the energy gaining in its alchemy transmutation to fuel the next one, Lela's. From there, it would travel from the chimera to the dust to the lump and then into whatever entity lurked within the sarcophagus. Lela saw only one way to stop the oncoming catalyst, one way to save the others, one way to prevent true evil from leaking into the world.

Sonya twitched as she awoke, opening her eyes to a familiar white nothingness. "Hello again, Truth," she called. "I know you can hear me. Nothing goes on here without your awareness."

The Truth smiled, appearing beside the Gate with his eternal puzzle of the universe. "Justice, what a wonderful surprise! It is so wonderful to see you again, yet so horrible that you should return to me in such a premature manner."

"I didn't understand exactly what you just said, but I'm gonna take it as a compliment."

The Truth laughed. "Oh Justice, ever the entertainment! You know many of the other angels have taken to watching you and your sisters. One of them, Grace, has even taken it upon herself to chronologe your adventures."

"Has she decided how it will end yet?"

"In due time, Justice, in due time."

"Do me a favor and tell me how it ends, would you?"

"But Justice," the Truth said, getting up as he began to disappear, "what's the point of reading a story if you already know how it ends?"

"Honestly, does this guy get all his philosophy from fortune cookies or something?" she groaned.

"It wouldn't surprise me."

Her red eyes widened, and she whirled around. "Greed!" she cried, throwing herself into his arms and burying her face in his chest like she'd wanted to for years.

"I know, Sonya," he whispered, stroking her hair, "I know. But we don't have long before I have to go and there's something I need you to do for me."

"Anything," she promised rashly, her eyes wet.

"I need you to find Charity," he whispered, and then he was gone as though he had never existed in the first place.

Lela somehow managed to work one arm free without hurting herself too badly. Sorry Envy, she thought, but like all mortals, my time is up. Without sparing another thought, she moved unnaturally quickly, digging her claws into the soft skin of her throat and severing the cord connecting her body to her soul, all to save the very world that had forsaken her.

Ed: *crawls over* Are they gone?

Envy: *in similar condition* I think so.

Ed: Where'd Sonya go?

Envy: Said something about taking Greed to the hospital.

Kayla: And where's Lela?

Envy: She went to take Roy to therapy.

Ed: Suddenly I am concerned about my virginity.

Kayla: YOU STILL HAVE IT? *nosebleeds and faints*

Ed: I'm gonna go take her to the hospital now... *runs off before Envy can respond*

Envy: Darn. I was gonna help Kayla rape him. Now all I gotta do is come up with a reward. Hmmm... let's offer up Lela plushees, 'kay? If you don't want it, give it to me. It makes the nights hurt less. *gets hit with paper ball* Oh fine, Ace says if you don't want it, you can go to Narnia, ungrateful brats...