Memories
All of my memories keep you near
In silent moments,
Imagining you here.
All of my memories keep you near,
In silent whispers, silent tears.
All of my memories...
Jenny
5/2/11
5:03 p.m.
"Jenny, you knew that eventually the truth would need to come out." Lupin said gently, sitting down next to my bed.
"Yes, but I never thought it'd be like this," I tugged at my wrist uselessly in exasperation. "And I thought they would just take my memories, not use Veritasereum." I shuddered at the name, and Lupin took my hand, giving it a squeeze. Lupin was about to answer when Madam Pompfrey came back in, accompanied by two Healers.
"Oh, good, you're alright," Madam Pompfrey twitched nervously in the doorway, the two Healers behind her. "We're here to make sure your chest lacerations have healed with that strap over them." Madam Pompfrey said frostily, but moving aside to let the Healers approach. Lupin cautiously let go of my hand and moved back. One Healer hesitated behind uncertainly, causing the other one to snort and come over, ignoring my flinch when she suddenly raised her wand and tapped it on my chest.
"Much better, much, much better. The punctured lung has almost closed, and the blood leaking from the heart has dissipated. The holes are closing in the heart itself, which is good. Johnson?" She asked her partner, then sighed in annoyance when he didn't move, twisting his wand in his fingers fretfully. "For the love of Merlin, Johnson, the Aurors obviously lied, she didn't try to rip my head off. And she couldn't even try if she wanted to, which I'm sorry about, that must be dreadfully uncomfortable." The woman continued briskly. "Unfortunately, the Aurors are still reviewing their information, and until they clear us, you'll have to stay like that."
Lupin stood up, suddenly looking very happy. "I remember now, you're Betsy Pane! You were the Healer at my transformation!" She turned and looked at Lupin for a moment, then laughed, shaking his hand.
"I should have known you would have shown up here! Is Miss Quinty a friend of yours?" She asked, and Johnson, edged away from Lupin, looking terrified. Lupin looked at me, smiling.
"Tonks and I were actually hoping to adopt Jenny, if she was to be accepted as a citizen. If not, she would live with us just the same." Betsy Pane turned on the spot to look at me.
"When the truth comes out in this, I would be fascinated to know the whole story. I'm only sorry that you've had such a difficult time in the wizarding world, Miss Quinty." Her steely grey eyes were suddenly incredibly kind as she gazed at me. Unlike most people, she looked right into my eyes, not looking at where my ear had been or the three original bites visible. She didn't even look at any of my other scars.
"Thank you, Madam Pane." I said quietly, a new idea suddenly popping into my head. "If I told you that I have a loved one who was recently just changed, would you have any advice for me?" She raised an eyebrow at me, then huffed. I could just picture her with a pipe and a bowler hat; smoking as she thought about my question.
"Only to get him or her as much experience as they can possibly get. Assuming they are a wizard or witch, they would be treated with more…respect than you, but they still wouldn't have an easy journey ahead of them. We," she chuckled, "well, I, will be back in later to check on you again. I doubt that Johnson will be back." At the sound of his name, Johnson leapt about a foot in the air, looking around with eyes bugged out in fear. "A great pleasure to meet you, Miss Quinty." Madam Pane turned on her heel and left, Johnson running out after her with a frightened whimper.
"We got incredibly lucky. Betsy Pane is the only Healer I know of who is comfortable around all sorts of creatures. Hopefully she can make more of a case for you. Dawlish and Williamson are obviously trying to make you seem feral, which is utter rubbish." Lupin said, sounding relieved. He came and sat back down next to me. Mr. Weasley conjured more chairs, and everyone sat down around my bed to keep me company.
"So," I struggled to get my thoughts together, the past two days seemed like a blur, and I was sure that the drugs probably hadn't helped. "So the war is over then? Voldemort really is gone?"
"Killed by his own spell. Do you remember when we came over to you and Draco and asked to trade wands?" Harry asked, and I nodded after a moment. "Draco, even though he wasn't the one to actually kill Dumbledore, was the true Master of the Elder Wand. I needed his wand to beat Voldemort, who had the Elder Wand. The Wand wouldn't work against its master, so his Killing Curse rebounded off of my Disarming Charm and hit him. He killed himself."
"Ok," I said slowly, trying to absorb all of this information, "But, you were dead, I saw you!" Harry laughed at that one.
"Do you remember how we were searching for something in the Ministry? That locket was a Horcrux, or a part of Voldemort's soul. He had seven of them. We had to kill all of them before he could be killed for good. The seventh piece was attached to my soul. When his curse hit me, that part died, not me. I was faking."
"Oh," I said stupidly, confused as hell, and he laughed again.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but how did you lose your ear?" George piped up suddenly, and I felt myself chuckle, then frown as I reflexively went to raise my hand to it and couldn't.
"The wolf from Voldemort's side I was fighting towards the end bit it off." Everyone flinched as one when I said 'bit it off'.
"We match though." George said teasingly, tugging on the earlobe of his one remaining ear. I heard myself laugh, and was suddenly really grateful that George could always make me laugh, even in the worst situations.
"I hate to break up the party," My smile instantly vanished when I looked at the doorway to see Dawlish standing there, Williamson right behind him, "but it's time for round two." He didn't sound sorry at all, even when faced with glares from everyone in the room but me. My eyes had fixed themselves on the bottle in his hand, the clear liquid making the blood drain from my face. I could still remember…
I locked my jaw, refusing to drink. Rodolphus reached for his wand, then stopped, leering at me unpleasantly. He threw me down to the floor, then sat on my chest, straddling my arms down to my sides, making memories of his last night's groping session send terror down my bones. He had gotten so close, so close to raping me. He smiled his sick smile, and reached down and plugged my nose. Our eyes locked as he waited for me to breathe, and as I desperately tried not to, my lungs screaming for oxygen. Eventually, my instinct won and I gasped for air. He took that opportunity to seize my throat in one hand and forced the potion down it.
"Jenny, are you alright?" I opened my eyes slowly, just feeling Tonks' hand on my cheek. Her skin felt warm against mine, and I realized I was trembling.
"Fine," I gasped quietly, and I realized I had been holding my breath as if the memory had been real.
"No you aren't. Why don't you just take her memories? Don't you know what Veritasereum does to her?" Tonks asked fiercely, turning on the spot to glare better at the two Aurors.
"We were aware…but memories can be tampered with." Williamson said from the back, and she snorted.
"Yes, but, if you paid attention on Auror training, you would remember that you can tell if they have been!" She snapped, and an odd look mixed with a bright red color on his face.
"Fine." He snapped, putting the Veritasereum away, much to my relief, and pulled something out of his pocket and came over, making everyone scatter out of the way, and making me tense. He set it on the bedside vanity and touched it with his wand. A stone bowl grew from the tabletop until I could see that it was full of a swirling liquid. "All of you, out." He barked, and slowly, they all went out into the hallway, ushered out by Williamson, and then he closed the door and came back over, taking the other side of the bed. I instantly shrank back as far as I could go, every nerve screaming to get up and run. "Do not resist me, let the memories flow forth as I call them." Dawlish put his wand on my temple, making me flinch, then placed his other hand on the other side of my head, a unreadable look crossing his face as he had to place it higher to avoid the hole where my ear had been. Reminding me horribly of what Voldemort had done, he looked intently into my eyes, and suddenly, the room was gone.
"Jenny, thank Merlin-" Lupin abruptly stopped and hesitated again, as Draco had. I handed him Teddy, then looked at both of them for a moment.
"What's wrong, don't tell me nothing is wrong, because both of you are freaking out, and it's really starting to worry me." I insisted, and when Draco stepped cautiously forward and put a hand on my shoulder, it sent anxiety flying through me.
"Jenny…I have some bad news…really-bad-news. I'm so sorry," He said slowly, and I shuddered, quickly closing my eyes. Ever since I had returned to Shell Cottage, I had been paranoid, along with my other problems. I couldn't help but picture all the things that had gone wrong. "Jenny?" I heard him ask, so I looked at him, taking a deep breath.
"Just tell me," I said quietly, steeling myself as Draco seemed to take a deep breath too. "It can't be that bad, it can't be any worse than what I just went through." I tried to sound convincing, but the look on his face after I said it made my stomach twist.
"Jenny…they were having a memorial service for your death, your parents, your old friends and family, your old boyfriend." He swallowed as I looked at him, unsure of what to say. "Death Eaters showed up…and they killed everyone except for Brian…and he's missing. I'm sorry Jenny, I'm sorry." He ended painfully, and I just kept staring at him with a blank stare, my mind screeching to a halt. He had just said that…my family…was dead? All of my friends?
Then I started to envision what would have happened…My parents would have insisted that it would have taken place outside; they would always complain how I spent more time outside then I did indoors. It probably would have happened around my…my grave, and I could just picture a grassy hilltop, the sun beaming down strongly, a slight breeze, and everyone I had ever cared about standing around, remembering. Then they would come from nowhere, Apparating and…and-
I gasped sharply as the memory abruptly cut off, and Dawlish was directing a cloud of the silvery liquid into the bowl. I noticed that Williamson had his wand trained on me constantly, as if they expected me to attack. Dawlish placed his wand on my temple again-
The torture continued on and on, until the light vanished from the windows, until I was lying on the floor, gasping and trembling as Bellatrix stood over me. She had asked me everything and anything, where Harry, Ron and Hermione were, what they were after, where Aurors were, what I had found out from the Ministry…
I hadn't said a word.
"You leave me no choice, Muggle. "Sectumsempra." She said, and I gasped sharply as I felt cuts appear on my chest, deep burning cuts that turned my white shirt red quickly. Then she disappeared for a moment, only to return with a bottle of clear potion. She forced me up and then into a chair, waving a wand over me. "Immobulus." She said, and I was suddenly frozen. She uncorked the Veritasereum and forced it down my throat.
I was breathing hard, eyes closed, trying not to cry as the memory cut off. Almost immediately, Dawlish dived back into my head, eager for more, it seemed. The memory when I forced myself to push my family and friends from my mind in the basement of Malfoy Manor played through my head. When Dawlish pulled away, I dimly recognized that tears were streaking down my face, which he ignored.
Greyback suddenly advanced, and his teeth sinking into my shoulder sent ice cold needles in me, making me shudder and gasp. His teeth were numbing the bite site, but the deep dark coldness from the bite was trying to freeze over my brain. No matter how hard I fought back, its icy cold grasp was painfully tight, restraining. His teeth came out, nicking the edges with new coldness until the shocking cold erupted in my side, and the two cold beings combined, pushing with incredible pressure and force on my brain, trying to kill it, take it over…
"Pidgewedgon! Pidgewedgon!" I cried hoarsely, feeling my fingers close around a knife in the knife case. I weakly threw it towards the movement in the corner, then, gasping, took the biggest knife in a shaking hand. Trying to stab him in the back, my arm came down and the knife got him right in the neck. Instantly, a spray of blood flew up, blinding me. I felt it in my mouth, all over my face, my torso…
My eyes closed as I shook with silent sobs when Dawlish finally pulled away. I let my head droop, and felt tears slide off my face and onto my chest, sliding down my neck. "Look at me. Now." He said flatly, and forced my chin up when I didn't comply right away. I opened them slowly, to meet his gaze. Like a slap, another memory came forth.
"Promise me something," I whispered, and Lupin pulled back, looking cautious, but agreed. "If I ever catch you following me as a wolf, and I attack you, you have to promise me that you'll fight me off, kill me if you have to." Lupin started shaking his head, but I plowed on, voice growing from its whisper to almost a murmur. "Scare me away, hurt me; just make me know that I shouldn't cross paths with you again, no matter what it takes."
"I couldn't, I wouldn't. It wouldn't be fair, you won't know who you are, who I am-" Lupin started, and I realized he must have thought of this before. I cut him off anyway.
"Lupin, I know now that I am worth something here, but you are worth much, much more. Think of it as tough love." I insisted, taking his hands and squeezing them, to keep his attention. "You have to, and you know it. You know that I won't show any lenience to you, so it should be the same." I could tell that the effect of my words was starting to get to him.
"I told myself I wouldn't, but…if ever the time comes, I'll hesitate, but I'll drive you off." He sounded displeased, but in a depressing way that made me want to take back what I had said, but I needed the security for him.
"Whatever it takes." I added as forcefully as my emotionally and physically tired body would allow, and he nodded, looking at our hands. "Thank you, Lupin, for everything." I said, and as he stood up, I did too…
I was in the bear trap, my head fuzzy, ribs aching; my gasps for air the only noise in the clearing besides the occasional drop of blood falling from my fingertips…
Brian was falling under the wolf…
I was going through files in Umbridge's office, tucking sheets of paper into my bag…
Bellatrix was falling to the floor, Rodolphus and the Minister already dead. The gun felt heavy in my hand, my mind reeling, trying to understand what she had meant about Brian…
My vision swam back into focus. Dawlish seemed to panting in front of me, poised to take another memory, but seemed incapable of doing so. I was shrunk back as far away from him as I could get, too scared to tremble anymore. I knew my eyes were full of fear, but I refused to look away from him, tears still streaking down my face. He gulped, then pushed onward-
"Huh?" Confused, I rubbed the scar on my neck absentmindedly, frowning in confusion. Lupin suddenly shoved me aside and whipped out his wand, firing spells into the bushes, and green shots were coming back. I stayed where I was, crumpled on the ground from Lupin's push, confused. The shots stopped, and I heard a popping noise. Lupin swore and kicked around in the bushes for a moment, then took my arm, pulled me up and Apparated. We appeared by cliffs, and I could hear an ocean. "Where are we?" I asked, turning on the spot to look around our dark surroundings. The moon was pushing at the clouds, but everything was dusky.
"Ennervate." Lupin said sharply, and it felt like someone had slapped my face. I blinked, then looked around and noticed Bill and Fleur's cottage behind Lupin.
"Lupin, why are we back at the cottage? We have to transform tonight!" I gasped, shocked. Lupin growled something unintelligible and started stalking towards the house. "Lupin, didn't you hear me? We will be turning into wolves tonight, in less than 10 minutes! We can't stay here! Lupin!" I shouted after him when he didn't stop, and ran to follow him…
I tackled the other wolf from behind as he tried to corner the two students, the battle raging around us as my claws raked down his pelt, our momentum carrying us across the grounds…
I looked in the mirror as Madam Pompfrey healed a large scrape on my arm. The long cut across my face made me look wild and alien. I shuddered as I remembered losing control to the wolf within-but standing up to Kingsley's discrimination had been worth it, he knew that I wouldn't let him treat me like dirt…
"CRUCIO!" Bellatrix bellowed, and I groaned, curling in on myself, then shrieking in pain as my bones shredded under a flow of lava…
"Crucio!" Kingsley barked, and I screamed once, flying backward, until my head hit the back wall sharply, and I crumpled, mind spinning…
Kingsley had me spread out like a blanket, giggling like a schoolboy as he ran his hands over my breasts then down to my waist, smirking as he felt my ribs so prominently pushing against my skin…
I brought my knee up and Yaxely's head downward, the satisfying crunch of his jaw letting me know that Hermione, Ron and Harry had enough time to escape…
I was fighting back against Bellatrix, ducking punches and kicking high, spinning out of the way of her spells, filled with fury. She had been torturing me all day-if she wanted to drug me, she'd have to fight me…
"ENOUGH!" Someone bellowed, and the memories were severed sharply. Dawlish had his back to me, facing Lupin, who stood in the doorway, paler than I had ever seen him. The whole room reminded me of ink being washed away by water, it was getting blotchy, then it was bleeding away…