Careful
You can't be to careful anymore
When all that is waiting for you
Won't come any closer
You've got to reach a little
More, more, more, more
Jenny
5/3/10
5:52 a.m.
I was sprinting through a forest full of vibrant colors, full of nothing but joy. The forest called back as I howled to it with pleasure; sounds of it's own-branches clacking in the breeze, plants crunching lightly as I ran over them… I burst back into the clearing I had started in, and sniffed clothes that smelled human for a moment, then in my euphoria, ignored them, sat back, and after a deep breath, howled until I ran out of air to the sweet and beautiful moon, shining it's light down on me. When I woke up in the morning, I was scared to tears, apologizing to Lupin for being so rude and refusing his help. The long scratch going all the way across my face scared me when I looked in a mirror…
I welcomed the forest again, and it responded like an old friend. My happiness was gone this time, and replaced with an undeniable drive to establish territory. Deciding to start small and expand from there, I started a perimeter until a new scent crossed the breeze-one of another wolf. Stalking silently towards it, I moved through the underbrush until I came out on a tiny ravine. Only a few feet below was an enormous wolf that was obviously male. Fury sprung from nowhere, and I leapt downward, tackling the wolf, sending us flying over and over. I attacked him when he didn't run away, but seemed to look at me with a desperate shine to his eyes. After something in my leg snapped, he tried to run for it, but even on three legs, I was catching up. When I used all four, my leg snapped again, tangling my paws and sending me crashing down a large hillside, smacking into rocks and trees until I made it to the bottom where a tiny clearing lay. As my momentum wore out, something large and shiny snapped down around my paw, making me howl in pain. The morning after, all I knew was pain, emotional and physical. I was stuck in a bear trap, ribs close to breaking, with an arm broken in at least two places. But all I could focus on was Lupin. I had made him promise me to fight back if he needed to, but I had attacked my mentor, my friend. The one person who understood what it was like…
Snarling, I slashed at Gober, then bounded over and bowled Scabior away from Hermione and broke his wand with one cut from my claws, then bounded around the rest of the clearing, helping Lupin either kill or knock the Snatchers unconscious. Then I returned to Hermione and carefully sliced through her bonds, ignoring her shock and went over to the large group of prisoners, cutting each one apart, then free. I was giving Harry, Ron and Hermione a lift back to our campsite, Harry shouting gleefully as we raced silently through the forest, catching air as I leapt over logs and snaked through trees. In the morning, hearing strange sounds in the woods, then screaming in surprise when with a loud bang, Kingsley sent cords whipping around me- the fight, Kingsley's chase, then Apparating to Malfoy Manor…
I paused, frozen stiff, and I knew the memories had come off, hanging from my wand tip. My eyes felt wet, but thankfully, I wasn't crying yet. Then I dropped the memory into the Pensive. "That wasn't so bad," I lied, and Draco snorted, wiping away one tear that managed to boil over. "I'm used to sacrifices," I reminded him quietly as Williamson collected memories from Tonks and Lupin, trying to ignore Dawlish, who was looking down, but I hadn't been a spy just to forget that type of body language—he was listening.
"You shouldn't be used to them, that's what I've been trying to tell you," Draco said, catching on and speaking softly.
"If I didn't, I wouldn't have survived in the Wizarding World for as long as I have. That's what I've been trying to tell you." I said back, and he frowned, drawing his attention to where my ear had been.
"This looks like it hurts." He said, and I rolled my eyes.
"I'm sure you're hurting a lot more. You should go." I told him, but he shook his head silently, now playing with my hair. Once Dawlish and Williamson got their act together, I retrieved as many memories as I could handle. If I couldn't physically do anything, I was going to max out whatever I could do. It would be better for them to have to choose between memories instead of not having enough. After they had all the memories they needed, I was surprised to see Tonks and Lupin fall into a relaxed chatter with them, occasionally glancing our way as Draco and I talked quietly. All of a sudden, a light purple paper airplane appeared out of thin air, flew over to Dawlish, and darted around his head until he snatched it and read it, Williamson looking over his shoulder and frowning. I looked at Draco, confused, but he was looking at the little airplane.
"It's and order to come back to the Ministry. Apparently the Ministry wants to prosecute you, and is unhappy that we have listed ourselves to testify for your defense. A new Auror will be assigned to the Ministry's prosecution." Williamson explained before we could ask, but Dawlish kept reading, scowling at the piece of paper and eventually crunching it in his fist.
"They want to increase the time Jenny is on sedatives, and they want stronger ones to be administered. It's to go immediately into effect." He almost growled, throwing the ball into the trash angrily. Muttering to himself, he left, presumably to go get a nurse. I sighed, and Draco kissed my forehead reassuringly. Tonks and Lupin seemed to be having a furious silent battle with each other, until she sighed and looked down. Dawlish returned with Madam Pane, looking angrier, which surprised me. I still didn't trust Dawlish, but he seemed to seriously care. I could already tell that things would be more awkward from here on out. Madam Pane had another bottle in her hand, and it was a sad looking grey color. "It's been ordered that the hospital uses 'The Draught of the Living Death'." Dawlish said to the floor, and Tonks hissed like an angry cat, making him flinch. Draco's hand tightened on the edge of the bed until his knuckles turned white.
"That has to be illegal," Lupin asked, but sounded defeated already.
"What? What is that?" I asked quickly, looking from Draco, to Lupin and Tonks, and then finally, with some hesitation, I looked at Dawlish and Madam Pane.
"It is the most powerful sleeping potion known to wizard kind. The person it is administered to takes days to fully wake up, and even then, they will tremble almost constantly and be very weak for another few days." Madam Pane's voice was low in her fury. If I didn't trust her, I'd be afraid of her.
"This is obviously strategic. If it is administered now, she'll barely be awake in time for the trial." Williamson said curtly.
"And I have to take it?" I asked after a moment, turning on my poker face.
"The Auror assigned to the prosecution will be coming down to see that everything is in order, to schedule a few questionings, that sort of thing. He'll also try to get the staff, patients or visitors to admit that they are frightened of you, and that you have been violent and feral." Williamson answered. Tiredly, I rubbed my face, unwilling to ask for the bottle just yet. I hated the way this potion sounded, and I would be out of the loop for my own trial. Lovely.
"What must be done, must be done, I guess." I recognized defeat and held open my free left hand for the bottle after setting my wand on the vanity. I tried not to think about how this really made me feel, scared and of course, helpless. The name didn't help either.
"Jenny, don't worry, when you wake up, we'll have everything ready, all you'll have to do is answer the questions. It's like you're taking a nice long nap." Dawlish said suddenly, as if he had been holding himself back. Madam Pane put the bottle in my hand. I barely resisted glaring at Dawlish when I realized he pitied me terribly. Git.
"You'll only get a few mouthfuls, but that's all you'll need. Don't be afraid to stop early." She instructed almost inaudibly.
"Guys," I raised the bottle to Lupin, Tonks and Draco. "See you on the other side."
"Wait." Draco said, leaned down, and kissed me. I kissed him back, lightly resting the bottle in my lap to cup his cheek. When he pulled away, he was smiling bitterly.
"Bye," I said very softly. Steeling myself, I drank. It didn't feel like a liquid in my mouth, it felt more like drinking whipped cream. Almost instantly, it felt like I was at the bottom of an ocean, the world going black as soon as I swallowed. I froze for a second, then like a switch had been flicked—I was gone-