Chapter 7: Let It Out
Numb.
He felt numb to everything. Numb to the wind running through his hair. Numb to the strains of his legs as he ran. Numb to the panting of the refugees as they struggled to run beside him. Numb to the calls of his friends and fellow brothers as they tried to say something to him. He was just numb.
He had seen a lot of death. He had caused some of it. Whether it had been someone who was abusing a boy or a group of them, like a corrupt orphanage. He had caused more casualties then he remembered upon Artemis's hunters, when they fought their war with them. He still remembered the sweet feeling of running his blade or sending an arrow deep into the flesh of those wenches, paying them back for every little boy who had lost his life or humanity, for the simple act of stumbling upon them.
But not now. Now he was numb to it all. There were very few, oh so few, that he trusted. Many of his brothers were still not informed about his past, but they got the feeling from the few words he had said that it was bad. Very bad. He had opened up to only a few of them. Lord Orion had been the first. Orion had been the one who saved him from such horrendous things, right when he was on the edge of life. Orion had brought him back, and raised him as his own. Did Orion think of him and the rest as his sons?
Of course he did. Jason could not believe that he would even contemplate such a thing. Orion was a father to them all. And so they were all sons to him. If he had never said it, then he had demonstrated it, countless times. Men were far less emotional than women, women giving to losing themselves in their passion. But it had always been there, behind Orion's eyes when he looked at them. They were closer than friends, for they were family now.
But he was numb at this moment. The numbness of seeing one of the few people you trusted, the one who always had your back, slain. He had not actually seen him die, but he heard the volley of shots, and he heard the final cries of Mikhail. He could imagine him wielding his sword as bullets slammed into his armor, fighting to take as many down with him as he could. Jason expected no less of any of his brothers.
And he had lost many of them as well. Just as they had inflicted huge emotional pain upon the huntresses, so had the huntresses hurt them, badly. They were boys, and so they would never admit their pain. But it had been there, the twist in your gut at the feeling of every brother lost. He had met with every single one of them. It was he who led the ceremony that indoctrinated them. And he had recited the sacred vow to them, and heard them repeat it to Lord Orion, promising their loyalty to their new brothers. To accept Immortality at the daggers edge.
At the dagger's edge...
Those were the key words. He had heard of the huntresses pledge. It was very toned down, and it did not allow any of the downsides to be mentioned. Each brother was immortal, but only to a degree. They would never die of old age or disease. They were faster and stronger than normal demi-gods, and due to their gender's naturally higher strength, stronger and faster than the huntresses. But they were just like them in one major category. They could be killed. They could still fall to the reaper's blade. And as Orion did not want to sugarcoat the pledge for his brothers, he had added those fateful words.
The lines that had played out today. Mikhail was one of the best fighters they had. He had been the first brother after Gabriel and Micheal had been entered. Orion had found him fighting for his life in an orphanage, and brought the poor boy to their camp. Jason had learned his place at the ceremony, and remembered how Mikhail had stumbled over the words when he recited them. The memory did not bring comfort, but only tightened the gut within Jason's body.
But he was still lieutenant. And he still needed to get these people to safety. Mikhail's last wish would come true, if it cost him his own life.
"It's not too far now!" he called out to the running group. He was shocked at the dryness of his voice.
The group was surprisingly strong, or maybe the last of the adrenaline was still pumping in them. But these people would be dropping soon, and so he needed to get them rest. But the camp was only a short distance away, and there would be plenty of time to rest there.
And he would need to find something to say to lord Orion...they had gone there for one person, and they brought back dozens...
-Brotherhood Camp, thirty minutes later-
The brothers were surprised to say the least. It was not everyday that a horde of abused people just suddenly arrive at your encampment. There were some cries of alarm and some of the former slaves were frightened by the sudden appearance of armed and armored teenage boys, but Jason was quickly able to calm them. He told the people to gather near the border of the camp, and ordered several brothers to light some fires for them. He needed to speak with Orion.
Orion was standing outside his tent, watching the people as Jason approached. His eyes traveled over Jason's body and he saw the look in Jason's eyes. He stared at him for a second, and Jason opened his mouth to say something. But as he did, his mouth would form the words, but no sound would come out. Orion did not wait for him to collect himself, and instead goaded him inside his tent.
Jason staggered, yes staggered, inside the tent. he couldn't even move his legs properly anymore. Now that he was out of sight of the others, it felt as though his feelings were now sensing their moment, and were trying to rip his way out. He forced himself to walk smoothly in Orion's presence, but it was taking a lot of control. More than he had ever expended from the simple act of walking.
"Jason, who are those people?" Orion asked calmly, almost as if he were expecting the answer.
"They're the people that were being held with Garret's sister..."
"I thought you went there to retrieve his sister, and no more?" Orion asked, but there was a tone in his voice. Jason could have sworn that he was sensing...proudness...but that could not be confirmed, not in the emotional state that Jason was in. It was taking total concentration to keep his emotions in check and make his report.
"We got her sir. But the others...sir, the state they were in was so...the others wanted to free them and...I just couldn't..."
Orion stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Jason, I see what you have done. You knew that those people could not last much longer in whatever state they were in. What was the situation there?"
"Sir, I had not seen anything like it. The monsters...they do not compare to these people. I saw things in their that made my skin crawl. They make the Titans cruelty seem like a little tame talking to. The rooms had things in them..." he trailed off, remembering the horrific gruesomeness of the sights he had seen.
Orion nodded. He looked Jason square in the eye and nodded.
"You did the right thing Jason. We cannot expect what life will throw at us. We must learn to be flexible and cope with what is unexpected. No one in the right mind could have left without doing something for those people. And you and the others did far more than something."
He thought of something for a moment, and then turned back toward Jason.
"Jason, I saw you and the rest with the refugees. But where is Mikhail?"
That was the question that broke Jason's control. He suddenly began to tremble and his mouth opened slightly, to let out strangled whimpers. He shook and was almost convulsing with the need to keep his emotions down, but it had become a raging firestorm that needed to come out. Orion saw his reaction and his face changed from surprise to sympathy. Jason's reaction told him what he needed to know, at least for now.
"Sir..." Jason's voice came out in a wheezing sound. "May I have a moment?"
"Go to the woods a certain distance from camp, Jason. You may take all the time you need. I know how close you two were. I will keep everyone here. If we hear anything that resembles what I think it will, no one will investigate. Go...my son..."
Jason did not acknowledge Orion's calling him a son. He already knew that. But now he needed to be alone, for the dam was about to burst. He pulled open the tent flap and steeled himself for a moment before stepping out. Then he began to make for the woods.
Several brothers tried to ask him something, but his expression immediately forced them to reconsider. They had not seen such pain on his face. Physical pain would have been a luxury to what he was experiencing now. He walked briskly into the woods, and kept walking.
He did not stop walking until he was a good thousand or so yards from the camp, at least as far as he could tell. He reached a small clearing and did not stop as much as fall to his knees. He took several deep breathes, in a final attempt to calm himself. But the setting was just right, and his sadness could no longer be denied action.
He fell to the ground and hugged it for a moment, and then he screamed. He screamed with all the force h could bear. But the screams were silent. He knew Orion would not allow anyone to investigate the sounds, but he could not bring it to bear to allow them to hear his sorrow. His screams were powerful, but he forced them to be silent. He could not allow himself that luxury of sound.
But nevertheless, whether he could afford it or not, it came. He could not longer hold it back. He needed to howl his grief. And so the next scream of agony was loud and clear, piercing all the still air around him. He threw his head to the moon, and screamed at fate, screamed for his failure to ensure his brother's safety, and he screamed for all those he had lost. He had not cried for over five years, ever since his initiation into the brotherhood. And so this was a long overdue.
He could not stop yelling. His voice was soon throaty and scratchy, and still he could not stop. The pain inside him was nothing that bandage nor wound could heal. Not even the embrace of a family member or friend could help him right now. No, this was te only remedy, to grieve in the manner best to him. And he was a warrior, and so his grief would come as cries of defiance, not of sorrow. But those cries were of sorrow anyway, nevertheless what he would have rather they'd been.
Mikhail's initiation, the lost child of Ares with attitude even in front of Lord Orion himself...
Mikhail laughing with him as they ate and talked and fought with their fellow brothers...
Mikhail fighting side by side with him, watching his back for the occasionally sneaky huntress...
Jason screamed as the memories enveloped him. The pain was worst then when Nemesis had run him through. Worst then the battle wounds suffered from the huntresses or by bullets or knives. It was like his heart had been set ablaze by the memories he had of Mikhail, and that was not all.
He was seeing the face of every member of the brotherhood who had taken that knee in front of Orion and recited the oath of the brotherhood. And he had seen them all, for he had been the first to do it. To make that oath. He saw the memories of them all, of all of his brothers smiling and lost in antics, still acting like the teenagers they were.
He was crying for them all...
He lay there for gods know how long. His voice was gone, lost in the shrillness of his screams of pain. His body was exhausted with what he had gone through and witnessed. He felt no strength in his bones as he moved slowly, trying to get up, but found he could not. The pain was just too much.
Then another memory came to him. Mikhail once again, and this time, it brought no pain, no sorrow. It was the memory of his initial test. The same one Garret and the others had received, all starting with Jason. They found the will to get up even after being severely beaten by a superior fighter, to keep fighting no matter what the odds. Every single one of them had done that.
Jason's eyes opened once again...
Many people often think that it is completely the teacher that teaches and it is the student's that learn. But that is not always the case. There are many times that a teacher will learn from his or her students. Just as he or she teaches, so he or she learns from their pupils. Jason's eyes darkened with raw determination. Mikhail had gotten up and continued to fight even after Jason's pounding. So had Gabriel and Micheal after theirs. All through the line to Garret. Jason had gone through it himself, being mauled by Lord Orion in his first fight. And learned to get back up, to keep going even when there seemed nothing left. And each time he saw another new brother do it, he learned determination just a little more.
He swore he heard Mikhail's voice in that instant...yes, it was his voice...ghostly, but his voice...
"Get up...get up!"
Jason struggled to lift his head.
"Get up, damn you!"
Jason put his hands on the ground beneath his chest, and pushed, his upper body slowly, painfully himself lifting up.
"Get up on your own two feet!"
Jason grit his teeth and put one foot forward, and then pushed on it, forcing himself up slowly, but more and more.
"You are our lieutenant! Set an example! Get up!"
Jason finally forced himself to his full height and took the one comforting gesture still left to him. He held his sword handle as he steadied himself.
"That's better..."
Jason closed his eyes and lifted his head to the sky. It was starting to rain. And it felt like the most wonderful thing to him. He felt all his pain in his mind and body being washed away...
"You are the best in all of us, Jason. We'll always be there for you, my man..."
Jason slowly opened his eyes to the sky, feeling the drops of rain on his face. The grief was done, the pain was extinguished. Mikhail's face loomed behind his eyelids, and he smiled for the first time in a while. Brotherhood was forever. All his brothers, who had passed to the hereafter, would never truly be dead. Not while he still carried them in his heart, in his deeds. They lived within him, within every member of the Brotherhood Of the Hunt.
Jason took his first unconstrained breath. It felt like his first of life...
"Find peace brother..."
-Holding Center, Boss's Mansion-
"Maybe I was not quite as clear as I would like to have been. Allow me to rephrase myself. Just what the fuck happened!"
His top guards quivered in fear in front of hus desk. And they had a damn good reason to. The boss had never been more angry than as angry as they were seeing him now. They were expecting to get a 9mm bullet right between the eyes at any moment.
"I want a clear explanation of just what the hell just happened right underneath our very noses!"
"Sir...it seems that a group of people managed to get over the fence, kill several guards, and then free most of the people being held in one of the main detention buildings."
"And just how did this happen? Does it not make you wonder at all? Is the question not swimming in those little things called brians deep within your craniums? Brains that I am about to scoop out with a spoon!"
The flinched from his outburst.
"How many did we lose?"
"About five sir."
"Five workers?"
"No, guards."
"I don't give a shit about worthless guards, I am talking about workers!"
"About...maybe sixty to seventy..."
The boss stood in shock for a moment. Over at least five dozen had got away from them. How could they allow this to happen?
"Who...did...this?" he asked, his voice quivering with unbridled rage.
"We don't know sir...but they fit the description of those that have been hounding us lately..."
"Oh bloody hell! Don't tell me that this was done by the same people that have been causing havoc with us these past few days! They are a bunch of little boys playing warrior, goddammit!"
"We have one of their dead sir. He was wearing what looked like some old style armor under hic coat. And he wielded a sword as well. He killed several of us before we took him down..."
"Don't you people have guns? You just said he killed some with a sword!"
Their silence was all that was necessary.
"I am surrounded by incompetent assholes..."
"Sir, they were fast, really fast. They somehow managed to get the people mostly away. If that one kid had not stayed behind and...we would have gone after them. but-"
"I don't want to hear your pathetic excuses. You deserve to be shot, every one of you!"
"Sir..."
"NO!"
He slammed his fists down on his desk. He looked down at his desk and took several forced breathes, for his anger was almost strangling. Then he slowly looked up to glare at them, and they shuddered at the look of his cold blue eyes...
"I want them found...do you hear me? I want you all to get all the men you can spare and begin to search for these "boys." I want to know where they are hiding, and then we are going to go and we are going to kill them. Every last one of them. And then we are going to show those people what happens when they run away. Is that understood?"
There were some slight nods.
"Is that understood!"
"Yes sir!"
"Get the hell out of my sight..."
They were quick to obey. The boss sat at his desk and tried to make sense of it all. How could a group of teenage boys sneak into his work camp, kill several guards, and then escape with over five dozen people? Just how in the lord's name was it possible?
He stroked his forehead and looked in the mirror. His Latino face showed weariness, but that was not unexpected, seeing he had been rather rudely awoken from his slumber by the alarms and distant gunfire. He clutched a fist on his desk, and growled at the world around him.
He was Carlos B. Negrero. He had founded this little empire from it's very roots. There needed to be a way for the people on the streets, who bummed out and did nothing, to be able to do their keep to society. But there were too many soft-hearted, conservative minded people who would not allow that. Curse them all to Hell! There needed to be a way for those people to earn their damn keep, and he made sure of that.
No group of little boys would ever change that...
-Brotherhood Camp-
Orion had seen to the refugees. They were huddled in an area about a hundred yards from camp. The brothers had lit fires around them, and they huddled around them. Orion had seen to their food as well, and he sensed that the brothers would have to pull double overtime hunting for these people, at least as long as it took to find somewhere safe for them.
Orion remembered a far more brutal time, when these people would never had been set free. They would have just been kept in the cold dungeons for as long as they lived, and then be put down when the could no longer work. He shuddered at the brutality of the past, and yet it saddened him to see it alive and well in the modern day.
The children among them were laughing and running around, acting as if this were their first time out in the woods. Sadly, it might very well be. Some of them clung to adults, people who may very well be their parents. It was amazing how strong family bonds could be, even in the face of such a hellish life as they had been having. No child should ever go through what these people were going through.
He looked around at them, nodding at some of them. There had been several rather embarrassing times when several of them had fallen to their knees and hugged the legs of one of the brothers. It was a scene, but considering the state of these people, most were simply bid to rise and get some food or whatever they needed. Orion had never seen more nobleness in anyone then he was seeing in his brothers.
Now he knows why he chose them...
He felt some little hands wrap around his leg, and looked down to see that Garret had gone to his knees and was hugging his legs. Orion could not help but chuckle and the extreme humility. Garret was sobbing as he held his leg.
"Thank you...thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Orion let out a full blown laugh.
"There is no need for such a show, young one. Only a monster of the deepest pits of Tartarus could have ever have simply left those people to rot."
"What's Tartarus?" a small, female voice asked.
Orion looked past Garret to see a small girl, Garret's age, standing behind him. She gazed up at him with wonder, almost as if Garret had told her all he knew about him. She was filthy, but that was expected. Orion was shocked to see the brightness of her blue eyes though. They shown through her dirty face and and ravaged blond hair. But she stood there so innocently and gazed at him, that he could not help but chuckle again.
Garret looked up from his hold.
"That's my sister. That's Elizabeth."
"Well, hello there little one."
Elizabeth did not reply, only continued her awed gaze. She was most likely very shy.
"Could you...could you tell me some stories?" she slowly asked.
"Say again?" Orion asked, not quite hearing her.
"Could you tell that story? About the hunter and the goddess?"
Orion sighed. Garret had most likely told her of his nature, or at least strongly implied it. It was a rather painful story for Orion to tell, for obvious reasons. But he smiled at the young girl and pointed toward his tent.
"GO there and rest. I will tell you both the tale in just a few moments."
Garret cheered and grabbed Elizabeth's hand, running with her toward the tent. His joy at being reunited with his sister was obvious, and Orion wished him all the comfort that he could bring him. Garret had shown incredible promise. He sensed it the moment he first met him. His nobleness of wanting to go right back into Hades on Earth to rescue his sister told him almost as he needed to know about this brave young boy.
He smiled and began to walk toward his tent.
In the woods near the camp, Jason was walking slowly back to camp. His grief had finally been satisfied. The painful memories had been though of and dealt with. Now he clung only to the memories of them all smiling, him and Mikhail. Of him and of them all. He was even smiling at the memories that were swirling in his head. Mikhail would not want him grieving over him. That was not the brotherhood's way.
Now he thought of something else. He remembered the "dagger's edge" line and realized something more. The brotherhood was of a limited immortality. That was the purpose of those words in the oath. They were only immortal until life was forced from them by the hand of another. But memories were something else.
Memories could not be killed. They could not be harmed. And as long as he held the memory of his fallen brothers, then they were not really dead. Their bodies were rotted. Their words were silenced. But they fought and lived and yelled for joy within his heart. And in his heart, they could not ever die.
Mikhail and the others he had lost...were truly immortal now.
Orion had finished his story, and was leaving to allow the two children to ponder. Elizabeth had not disbelieved his confession about being the Orion of legend, the once constellation in the sky. He wondered why children were far more accepting of seemingly far fetched tales. But he decided that it was their young minds, still expanding and wondering about possibles. And so they could accept something even as strange as what he told them.
He took some deep breathes of the night air before he spotted a figure moving through the trees toward the camp. He did not raise an alarm or call a challenge for the person moved with the same style and grace as the boy he knew so well. Instead he approached him, in order to have a word before he rejoined hi brothers.
He stopped in front of Jason, who took several more steps before drawing himself to his full height before his Lord. Orion looked at Jason's tear streaked eyes, and yet stronger now, for the grief had been allowed it's one moment of power, and then shut off. He now would only cling to the memories that he needed, the ones that defined who those people were to him...brothers.
"Is it done?" he asked, simply and directly.
"Yes Lord. It's done..."
"Good."
Orion did not hug or show any affection. He only reached out a hand and firmly squeezed Jason's shoulder. It was not a gesture a father would make to a child, or a friend to a another. It was just that, a simple squeeze on the shoulder. But there was a power in that simple gesture, something one could not get from family or friends. Orion nodded several times before releasing him to return to his tent.
As Jason passed by him, Orion did smile however. His mind flashed back to the first moment he had met him, a cold and starving thing, abused by cruel and heartless people. And now a warrior among warriors, leading a band of brothers to a better life...
Now he knew why he had chosen him...