After the disastrous date at Edward's house, I left, and did nothing for the rest of the day. I hung out in the woods, thinking, trying to erase the day's events from my mind. Instead, I focused on the pocket watch, on getting home, on... Elijah.
I still hadn't talked to him about the whole... parents thing. And a part of me said that I'd never know the whole truth.
At last, when it started to get dark, I trailed back to Elijah's place. I subtly used a hair-pin to unlock the front door, and let myself into the coolness, feeling refreshed.
Deciding to spoil myself, I took a shower, relaxed under the blazing heat and rushing water. It calmed me, and after I stumbled out and dried off, I felt sleepy. Falling asleep before Elijah and Michelle got home, I was knocked out dead (har, har) into another thankfully dreamless sleep.
When I finally woke up, the little alarm clock on the side of the guest-bed read 1:03 in vague red numbers. I blinked at it, a little shocked, and read it again, just in case. But no, I'd slept about seventeen hours, right into the afternoon. Wow! I'd never done that before. But it sure felt great; as I slowly sat up and yawned, stretching, I felt more awake and blooming with energy than I had in a long time.
I jumped up, and realized I had a certain urge down under. I sighed, and found the bathroom, doing my business and cleaning up. As I yanked the silver faucet to the bathroom sink, I glanced in the mirror, and had to do a double-take.
My eyes, usually golden like any vampire's, were dark. They weren't exactly black, but they were growing darker. I blinked, swallowing hard, and recognized the hollow aching at the back of my throat. I was thirsty. I'd been distracted by the pocket watch issues and the pending Edward problem, maybe distracted enough not to taste my thirst.
Like my mother, I had power when it came to drinking blood; I could contain it, and it was much easier for me than my father or any of my aunts and uncles. Of course, I could eat human food; but it was dry compared to the warm, red liquid that flows in the veins of living things. I had never touched human blood, and always drank animal blood, like the rest of the Cullens.
But I was reaching the point that it would be hard for me to ignore the thirst, and I knew I had to hunt. Soon, before Elijah or Michelle came home, who I guessed were both at school and probably work, respectively.
I cleared my throat, looking down and tugging at my clothes. I'd been in this crap for two days now; I had to find new clothes. Maybe Elijah could spare some money, or I could always swoon Edward into giving me some (it wouldn't be stealing; after all, we are family). But first things first.
Hunting.
Taking a deep breath, I scribbled a note to Elijah on the fridge (Elijah: I got hungry and I've gone out for a snack; I'll be back soon as I'm not hungry.) It was a note that would look bizarre to anyone else's eyes, but he would understand what I meant: that I needed blood. As I stabbed a magnet onto the scrap of paper to hold it on the fridge tightly, I tried not to wonder what Elijah would think of me as he read that. It was my thirst, the thirst of my kind, that had killed his parents.
Would he look at me differently when I got home? Knowing that I'd killed something to stay safe, to satisfy my thirst? I shook my head, shoving the thought from my head, and was out the door in seconds.
In the driveway of their humble home, I was surprised to see Elijah's truck sitting there. I noticed a slip of paper stuck to the window, and I neared, silently reading- Hey bloodsucker, thought you might want this today.
Michelle's driving me and picking me up, so I'm taken care of.
I chuckled, and reached into my jeans pocket, where I still had the keys from last night, and opened the door, getting in and waking the truck. It roared to life and rattled like an old man suddenly startled from a deep sleep.
"Come on, buddy," I murmured as I guided the car out of the small driveway, and then, I was free. It was raining (something I knew I'd have to just get used to if I planned to be stuck here for awhile) and looked gloomy as ever outside.
As I drove, I made my way to the forest. Edward had told me many times (back in the future, where I belong) how he hunted animals in this forest. I remember the times Emmett would take me hunting here when I was a much younger vampire; it was hard to believe, but I'd lived here, many, may years ago, when I'd first been born.
I remembered everything from my first few days very accurately; the horrors of my bloody birth, the Cullen family growing to understand me, and the Volturi, when they'd come with plans to hurt me.
After I'd been born and things were safe, we'd moved. We had no choice; too many rumors around town about the Cullens. We hadn't moved too far; just another dreary, sunless town in Washington, so that we weren't too far away from Charlie and them, but far enough away to have our own life. It was there we stayed, and there we've been, for many years now. And it was there that we went into town, and discovered an old antique shop. One that led me here, into the past, into this hell.
I drove deep into the forest, and settled into a strange set of mind that wasn't me. It wasn't the girl who had gotten tricked by some old dude and tumbled into the past; it wasn't the girl trying to avoid Edward, who was unknowingly trying to attract his future daughter; it was the monster within her. The vampire who I try to control, to quiet. But slowly, the vampire blood in my veins was rushing over me, and I felt excitement and a strange desire as I passed into the darkness of the forest, knowing I was home. Knowing that I was going to hunt.
Slowly, I swerved into a crook in the shadowed road, and quietly turned the car off, slipping out. I stood there, fists clenching, eyes beginning to blaze like suns as I gazed around.
There came a shivering in the bushes a ways off, and I watched as a deer stepped out from behind it. She paused, and gazed at me, black eyes innocent and questioning. As our eyes met briefly, the hunter and the hunted, I felt shame flow through me as I sadly looked at her. It was because of me; my monster, my thirst for blood, that her life would end today.
"I'm sorry," I murmured as I tightened my muscles, preparing.
And the chase began.
* * *
When I left the forest, driving slowly, I tried to forget about what had just happened, and instead focus on what I had to do now. But I couldn't stop the memory from returning; from hurting me.
Every time I make a kill, it always hurts. I know I don't have to drink the blood; I could always live on human food. Often, I do; I go for months without a hunt. But it's like our air: we have to drink eventually.
But I hate killing. I hate taking a life. It feels wrong; and even though, every time I would confide in Edward or Carlisle, they would tell me, "I know it feels wrong, Nessie, but it's necessary. If it's not an animal, it's a human; and we can't become killers."
I know it's better to drink an animal's blood instead of a human's. But it doesn't make the guilt any better.
I sighed, looking at the clock. It was ten minutes after three o' clock; if I wanted, I could go talk to Elijah. I shook my head, slowly realizing what I wanted to do: I had to talk to another vampire. I couldn't be alone. I found myself wishing for my family more than ever as I passed Forks High School, and slowly turned in, surprised by how many people were still hanging around. These guys truly had no social life.
As I pulled into a parking-spot and turned the car off, I glanced around. Ah, there was Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett, and of course Alice and Jasper, gathered around their shiny, perfect cars, which looked glaringly out of place among the rusted, hand-me-down cars of the other high-schoolers.
But where was Edward?
I got out of the car, and glanced around. I noticed Bella standing by the hood of her red truck, flipping to a new song in her Ipod. I sighed and leaned against Elijah's car, still keeping an eye out for my dad.
Suddenly, there came a screech, and I looked over, startled as I saw a large van swerving wildly, clearly out of control. I watched, and suddenly, things were moving very fast as I realized the van was swerving towards Bella, who was slowly turning, no idea she could be crushed. I had no choice: only a decision, as I swiftly moved.
In a heart-beat, I was by her, and I quickly shoved her aside as I whirled. My fist crushed into the metal of the van, and I could only stand against the powerful strength of the van as it was stopped, and I took a shaky breath, falling back. There was a dent in the side of the van, and my fist didn't even hurt. I turned, and saw Bella staring at me, eyes wide and shocked, face pale with terror. Our eyes met for a brief second, and then I moved; people were screaming, yelling, rushing towards the scene of the sudden accident.
As fast as I'd seen it happen, it was over, and I slipped away from the scene. I knew I had been quick; no one had seen me rush towards the van. No one but Bella saw me crush its side as I kept her from being flattened.
I held my head, feeling exhaustion and worry flash through me. Of course. The van accident. The one Edward had saved Bella from. I angrily formed my hands into fists; why had I jumped in like that? I should have let Edward go to save her.
As I looked up, my eyes met with someone else's, someone walking from the school doors, someone who should be where I am, who should have just saved the life of Bella Swan.
Edward.
He stared at me, and then at the accident, where he immediately heard what everyone was thinking, screaming; and I realized it with a sick feeling in my stomach.
Had I not been there, Bella would have been crushed. Because Edward wouldn't have. He didn't know her; he didn't care for her like he should. To him, it would have been the regrettable death of a classmate; but nothing more.
I ripped my gaze away, and started walking. I didn't even care to go back and get Elijah's truck. I just had to get away from here.
Why so serious? Well, I hope you all still like it. I enjoyed the feedback from, er, Edward's secret obsession (justin bieber aha), so thanks to all who've been reading and reviewing. I owe you the world(: