Disclaimer: JE owns all the characters in this story.

A/N A special thank you to Dyanswan for all her help and encouagement.

While Lester was recovering, he was stuck in the office doing monitor duty or computer work. And he was milking it. All the Merry Men were so grateful to him for getting them off the hook, that they would volunteer to take monitor shifts for him or run errands for him. Anything he wanted was instantly gratified. Even Ranger was pandering to him. Now, don't get me wrong. I was very grateful to Lester. After all, I was the one he saved and the one who absolved him and the men. But, this was getting to be nauseating.

I had to think of something to get Lester out of himself. And to get the Merry Men to quit seeing him as a superhero. After all, the only one who I allowed to be a superhero at Rangeman was Ranger. Lester was great, but he was a pale comparison to Ranger.

I knew I needed help with making a plan for bringing Lester back to reality, so who do I know that has the moxie, the imagination and the balls to plan a take down of epic proportions? Lula! Well, maybe she doesn't have balls, but she does have boobs of epic proportions.

So I called Lula and told her I needed her help. "Hell, girlfriend," Lula said. "All you have to do is ask. I'll meet you at Cluck In The Bucket in half an hour. We can talk over lunch."

So we met at Cluck In The Bucket and we ordered our chicken, our fries, our onion rings, our cokes and our pies. We finally found a table and sat down.

"Lula, I need your help to make a plan to bring Lester back to reality."

"That's easy," Lula said. "We get your granny late at night, sneak her into Rangeman, break into Lester's apartment and have her get in bed with Lester. When he wakes up in bed with your granny, he'll run away, screaming like a baby. Then everybody will laugh at him and tease him and everything will be back to normal."

"While that would be funny, it won't work. Every area of Rangeman, except the private apartments is monitored. Some one would see us and stop us before we got any where near their hero."

"Well then, how about this," as Lula leaned over and whispered in my ear.

An evil grin appeared on my face and I said, "Let's go."

Later that afternoon, a UPS truck parked in front of the Rangeman building and unloaded a large wooden box onto a dolly. He went in the front door to the reception area. Hal was behind the desk and was told there was a delivery for Lester Santos in apartment 4B. Hal was excited that Lester was getting a present, so he called Binkie to escort the deliveryman upstairs. He knocked on the door and after Lester opened it, he deposited the box inside and left.

"Who is it from?" Binkie asked excitement making his voice quiver.

"I don't have a clue," Lester answered as he looked the box over. On the front were two panels with hinges on them with a hook holding them shut. Lester undid the hook and opened the doors. Grandma Mazur stepped out and jumped on Lester planting a noisy kiss on his startled mouth. Lester instinctively moved back, but Grandma Mazur hung on tight.

"Help! Help!" Lester screamed at the top of his voice.

Since word of his present had spread quickly and everyone was curious, his living room was filling up with Rangemen. None of the big, tough, macho men had a clue what to do. They would all rather stop a bullet than touch Grandma Mazur.

"Get it off me! Get it off me!" Lester yelled as Grandma Mazur smacked kisses all over his face.

"Eeeuuuh!" Lester groaned.

"Eeeuuuh!" the men copied.

Lester was trying to shake Grandma Mazur off, but wasn't having much luck. Finally, Ranger walked in and calmly picked Grandma off Lester and set her down.

"Stephanie!" Ranger yelled. He knew I'd be close because he knew I wouldn't be able to resist watching.

I sauntered in and smiled sweetly up at Ranger. "You wanted me?" I asked innocently.

He stared at me sternly, his blank face in place. "Babe," he said.

Which I'm pretty sure meant, "I'm trying hard not to laugh here."

"I think your Granny needs a ride home."

As I was ushering Grandma Mazur out of the apartment, I heard Lester whine, "Stephanie, how could you do this to me?"

When I got back after taking Grandma home, I went up to the seventh floor. Ranger was waiting for me and as soon as I walked through the door, he grabbed me and pushed me back to the wall. He kissed me passionately, his body almost absorbing mine. When he finally broke the kiss, I wanted to ask him what that was for, but words were beyond me.

"I had to get the image of your granny kissing Lester out of my head," Ranger said, reading my mind. "It was like looking at a car crash. Horrible, but you can't make yourself look away. What in the world made you pull that stunt, Babe?"

"You know Lester has been acting like an ass. Ever since he got the men off the hook, they've been treating him like he's their hero and he took advantage of it. I was just trying to get his head back to reality."

There was a knock on the door and when Ranger opened it, Lester walked in saying, "I hope you've been up here beating her."

"Lester, you deserved it," I screeched. "You have been acting like you are some kind of superhero, taking advantage of the men's gratitude."

"I don't think anyone deserved that," Ranger said.

I just glared at him and turned back to Lester. "You know you have been an ass. I was just trying to bring you back to the real world."

"Well, I hope you're happy. You have scarred me for life. My lips have been contaminated with Grandma Mazur cooties."

"Oh, puleeze!" I retorted. "Don't be such a drama queen. She is just an old lady and she doesn't have cooties."

"Oh, yeah?" Lester barked. "Then why won't any of the men come within five feet of me? They're afraid the cooties will rub off on them,"

"Out," I yelled pointing to the door. "Men are such babies."

After Lester left, I turned to Ranger and said, "And don't try to give me a hard time because I saw you struggling not to laugh when you were rescuing Les."

"It was kinda funny in a horrifying way. But you have to promise me that you won't do anything like that again."

"What's so important about a promise?" I asked.

"If I can't guarantee my men that this will never happen again to anyone, then my men will be resigning in droves."

"Yeesh," I said. "I think you're exaggerating, but if it will make you feel better, I'll promise."

Ella came in with dinner at that moment, so we dropped the subject. Ranger seemed satisfied with my promise and I knew I would never repeat myself anyway, so we both were content to let it go.

The next day I was anxious to get to work to see if Lester was back to acting human. When I got off the elevator on five, the floor got quiet. The atmosphere was frigid. Oh, no, I thought. I'm back to being the evil punisher. And this time they didn't have to imagine what it might be. They all had seen it first hand. I guess I didn't think my plan through very well. I seem to have alienated every man in the building.

I went to Ranger's office and went in, hanging my head. "Ranger," I whined. "All the men hate me."

"They don't hate you," Ranger replied. "They are scared shitless of you."

"No one has quit, have they?"

"No, I guaranteed them that it wouldn't happen again, ever."

"If they know it won't happen again, why are they afraid of me?"

"Babe, that was their worst nightmare come true. If you could come up with a stunt like that they can't even imagine what other evil plans you have."

"So what do I so?" I whined. "Can't you order them to be nice to me?"

"Babe."

"I know. I know. I got myself into this, so I have to get myself out of it."

I went back to my cubicle thinking furiously. How am I going to get back in the good graces of the men? I guess I had better start with making amends with Lester.

Lester was on monitor duty, so I went up and sat down in the empty chair next to him. "Les," I said softly. "I'm really sorry I scarred you for life. Would it help if I let you kiss me?"

"It might, but I'd never know because then Ranger would kill me."

"He couldn't kill you if I kissed you," I said as I slid onto his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. He put his arms around my back and tried to deepen the kiss, but of course, I wouldn't let him. He groaned and I pulled away.

"Are your lips cootie free now, Les?"

"Oh, yeah," Lester said, rubbing his hand up and down my back.

At that moment, Ranger burst into the control room and came up to us. "What the hell is going on here?" he asked as he plucked me off of Lester's lap.

"Don't worry, Ranger. I was just getting rid of Grandma Mazur's lip cooties."

Then Ranger did something very unRanger like. He kissed me in front of his men and the cameras. With a lot of tongue.

When he broke the kiss, he said, "Just getting rid of Lester's lip cooties."