Chapter 31

It had been a week since they left the hospital and there had been no other presents left or sent by the stalker. They had gotten their stitches out yesterday afternoon and had lunch to celebrate. Lily and Lindsey came home last night but Catherine didn't want Lindsey staying at her house so Sam was putting her up at the Rampart and Lily was staying with her. Catherine and Sara had dinner with them and then after playing with Lindsey until she fell asleep they headed back home. They were sitting on the couch watching TV when Sara's phone rang. She saw the caller ID said Brass and she wondered if she could take the call without Catherine getting suspicious. "Sidle. Yeah Jim. Not really." She listened for awhile before she spoke again. "Ok I'll come by in the morning to clear up the details and we can go from there. Yes I will make sure Manny comes with me. Alright see you then."

"What was that about?"

"An old case I was working on is ready to go to court and he wants me to go over some of the evidence with the DA and one of the cops who is going to testify to make sure he's ready." She felt bad having to lie to Catherine but it was for her own good and she hoped she would forgive her when it was all over. "Why don't you go spend the day with Lindsey and I'll meet you at the Rampart after I'm done?"

"That sounds like a good idea. Do you know how long you'll be?"

"Depends on how fast the cop picks things up and if he remembers it, it could be a couple of hours or most of the day. You know how these things can go." She pulled Catherine down to sit between her legs again. "Want to fool around?" She was feeling a little desperate to be as close to Catherine as possible because she wasn't sure if Catherine would even be talking to her after tomorrow. This may be her last chance to hold her and love her. "Come on, let's go to the bedroom." She stood up and then reached down and placed one hand under Catherine's knees and the other behind her back and picked her up effortlessly. "I never realized how light you were."

"Sara put me down! You're going to hurt yourself." She started squirming to get free.

"I will if you keep squirming. Now stay still and enjoy my romantic gesture ok?"

"Oh be still my heart." Catherine put her arms around Sara's neck and rested her head on her shoulder. "You're just full of surprises aren't you?"

"You ain't seen nothin' yet baby." As she entered the bedroom she walked over to the bed and dropped Catherine on it.

"So much for romantic gestures. You'll have to work on your release my dear. You're supposed to place me gently on the bed not drop me from five feet up." Catherine scooted up so that she was sitting against the headboard.

"Oh really? How many times have you been carried into a bedroom my lady?" Sara grabbed her legs and pulled her down so that she could lie down next to her and hold her.

"Come to think of it, that was the first time anyone has ever done that for me." She reached up to untuck Sara's shirt and started unbuttoning the buttons.

"Well then how do you know that's the way it's supposed to be done?" Sara grabbed the hem of Catherine's shirt and pulled it over her head.

"That's how it's always done in the movies, the man places her gently on the bed and then she swoons over how strong and handsome he is and how wonderful he has made her feel." She pulled Sara's shirt off and threw it on the floor.

"Did I not make you feel wonderful and make you swoon?" She reached behind Catherine and unhooked her bra and removed it and it joined her shirt on the floor.

"Yeah right up until you dropped me on the bed." She reached down and unbuttoned her jeans and lowered the zipper.

"Shouldn't that get me at least a little credit?" Sara reached down and lowered Catherine's zipper then undid the button. She moved to the bottom of the bed and grabbed the pant legs and pulled her jeans off in one swift movement. She then removed her own jeans and panties. Catherine shimmied out of her panties and held out her arms for Sara.

"Ok I give you points for the gesture does that satisfy my lady?"

"Quite nicely my dear." Sara stared at Catherine and wondered if she would be here tomorrow or back at her own apartment lonely and sad as she was this time last week. Would Catherine ever trust her again once she found out she lied to her? Her eyes were so open and trusting as they looked up at her with passion, would that look be replaced by anger and hatred after tomorrow?

"Hey where'd you go? Why so sad?" Catherine brought Sara's head down and kissed her soundly. "What thought put that sad look on your face Sara?"

"I was thinking about where I was a week ago and hoping I would never be there again. You have made such a big difference in my life and this past week has been like a dream from which I hope I never have to wake up. Cat I'm so afraid your feelings are going to change and you realize you've made a big mistake."

"Oh Sara, I'm not going anywhere. I love you and nothing is going to change that. What brought this on baby?" Catherine lay down and brought Sara down with her and just held her. All thought of making love gone out of concern for why Sara was feeling so insecure.

"I've always been afraid that one day you would wake up and realize that I was too messed up to deal with. I've been so drugged up lately that the dreams haven't surfaced but now you can see the demons that follow me and invade my subconscious even when I sleep. Just look at your lip, I can't even promise it won't happen again. Why would you put yourself in that position? Why would you take that chance?"

"Because I love you. It's a simple as that. I love you and maybe it's not just the drugs that have kept the dreams at bay. Maybe it was having someone beside you to make you feel secure. Have you thought of that possibility?" She turned to look at Sara and saw that she was still looking pensive. "Sara, all I can say is that I love you very much. So much it scares me. It would take something pretty major for my feelings to change. Unless you are planning something catastrophic I will be here for years to come."

"Cat just remember I love you ok? I think I have since the first day I met you. I've never felt this way about anyone. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I can honestly say I have never felt that way about anyone before. Even during some of our biggest fights you have always been the one for me. Can you remember that?"

Catherine sat up and looked down at Sara but she wouldn't make eye contact with her. "Sara you're starting to worry me. What's up? You're not planning on taking off are you? Don't do this Sara. We can work it out ok?"

Sara looked up at Catherine with sad eyes. "No Cat I'm not planning on running away. I guess my insecurities have ruined the mood huh? Can I just hold you?"

"Forever if that's what you want." Catherine lay down next to her and put her head on Sara's shoulder. Neither woman said anything more because they were both lost in their own thoughts. It wasn't long before Sara fell into a troubled sleep but it took much longer for Catherine to fall asleep. She was worried about what was wrong with Sara. She could tell there was definitely something on her mind but she didn't know how to get through to her. She laid her head on Sara's chest and fell asleep.

When she woke the next morning she was alone in the bed. She jumped up out of the bed and without even bothering to put on any clothes she ran out of the room worried that Sara had left while she was sleeping. She checked the bathroom and could tell that Sara has recently taken a shower so she ran down the stairs and was finally able to release the breath she didn't even realize she was holding when she saw Sara in the kitchen. She stopped at the door and just took in the sight of Sara with head phones on cooking and dancing. When Sara turned around she jumped when she saw Catherine standing there then burst out laughing. She took the head phones off and went to put her arms around Catherine. "You thought I took off didn't you? I told you last night I was not running away. I made a promise and I keep my promises. Aren't you a little bit chilly?" Catherine looked down and for the first time realized she was so worried that she ran out of the bedroom totally naked. "Not that I mind your attire, or should I say lack of attire? Why don't you go upstairs and get dressed and I'll finish the pancakes. I was going to serve them to you in bed but you ruined the surprise."

"We can still eat it in bed." Catherine gave her a sly grin.

"I have to meet Brass in an hour so we can't start anything ok? But you sure are making a good argument for skipping the meeting but it's something I have to do. Now go get dressed and I'll be up soon." Sara pulled her against her and kissed her until both were breathing hard. 'Keep those thought for later tonight." She turned her around and spanked her bare behind and pushed her away before she grabbed her and took her upstairs and forgot all about her plans. She knew what she had to do was too important to put off any longer so she couldn't let herself be distracted. She finished the pancakes and put everything on the tray she already had prepared. She walked up the stairs and Catherine was sitting on the bed with her back resting against the headboard. She took a moment to take in the beauty before her and once again prayed that she would forgive her for what she was about to do. "You are so beautiful." She brought the tray over and set it in front of Catherine. "So are you going to go over to the Rampart this morning?"

"I thought 'dI get some laundry done then head over there. You'll call when your meeting is done?" Catherine started on the pancakes. "Oh my god these are great. What did you do to make them taste so good?"

"Ah that's a Sara Sidle secret. It's my way of ensuring that you will keep me around so you can have them again."

"I guess there are many talents that you've kept a secret aren't there?"

"Just one more reason to keep me around eh, gives you time to figure all of them out. It will take time for me to open up completely but you already know the worst. The rest are just little things about me like my pancakes." She glanced down at her watch and saw that it was time to leave. She had to make sure she convinces Catherine that everything is fine so she doesn't get suspicious. "Well babe I've got to get going if I'm going to be on time. Hopefully this won't take long and I'll see you soon. I know I don't need to say it but make sure someone is with you when you leave here ok? I love you very much and I will see you soon. You're on clean up duty, I cooked." She smiled down at Catherine then walked over to her side of the bed so she could kiss her. She pulled Catherine to her and gave her a kiss that she hoped would tell her how much she loved her. "I love you." She turned to leave and hoped she could make it out of the house before she started crying.