Temptation
Chapter 2: Not the lovable Type
"I'm a knight in rusting armor. I can't protect you from everything, or give you everything. But what I know I can give you is my devotion."
Annoyance. I can't seem to shake off this feeling most of the time. People everywhere no matter who they are seem to get to me, even just a little bit. Laying here, feeling your soft porcelain cheek against my broad chest and your thin arm that accompanied as well…For me, this was very hard to handle.
Moments like these, when I'm just laying here next to you do I finally get to think clearly. I see it in your eyes…the way you look at me with those bright pupils, it hurts me just a little inside, but at the same time it pisses me of. A person like you couldn't understand what a person like me feels, and even so, our views are quite different when it comes to us.
Us?
What is it that I'm truly feeling?
I need time to think, I need to be alone and think things over, no matter how many times I've thought about it...it's like some sort of puzzle I have laid out for myself to figure out. I don't want to but I do, letting out a well deserved sigh I force myself up, off of your grip, out of your chains.
It never gets easier. Some people say it does, but in certain situations it takes more thought then others. When I listen carefully, I hear that quiet whine you try and suppress. I'm not afraid to admit in a situation like this, I might be a bit cowardly; scared enough to not have the strength to look back at you, sitting there with a million thoughts running through your head. This is really pissing me off…
I know it can never get easy on me or anyone else for that matter. Feeling the cool water patter against my body, my arm reaches out to the knob increasing the cold temperature a small amount. This is how I feel most of the time...cold.
I rinse my hair thoroughly as well as the rest of me before dressing for the long day ahead of me, and another day of acting like nothing of the night before really happened. It is not that I am ashamed, it is not that I don't care…it's the fact that if I try to cling to something, I feel that it will be tainted because of me, that I will disapoint.
"Kensei-Samaaaa~!"
I turn around to see you there running to me; so happy like a small child seeing someone after a long time. It was always annoying to hear my name being called unnecessarily by you. But at the same time I felt somewhere inside of me, it was always a wonderful thing to hear come out of your mouth…to hear my name and no one else's from you was truly a gift.
"Kensei-sama? Helloooo dummy!"
There are times where you can be so annoying…no doubt about that.
"OI! I'm not dumb stop calling me that."
"Nehhhh, so spacey today!"
"Am not, shut up you're getting on my nerves..."
"Kensei-sama.."
My chocolate hues quickly turn back, the way you say my name so quietly; soft and beautiful…what is it that I'm doing? Why or how do you keep doing this to me?
All I knew was that no one was around, and your arms pulling down on my forearm to make me slouch down towards you, only to receive a gentle and loving kiss upon my lips. That was always one of the qualities that annoyed me..You were never scared to do anything. You would dare to do everything to me, and sometimes I would make exceptions.
No one could take away the man I am, and I surely won't let you make a fool out of me. No matter how you may feel, I have to watch myself carefully.
I gently place you down on my white covers, immediately attacking your lips as my hands slowly ran down the curves of your body. I hear nothing but the sweet sounds that spill from your throat, and I myself can't help but to let out a small grunt here and there. I feel the blood running down, presenting a very noticeable bulge in my pants, wanting…urging to come out and ravish you as I always do.
But this feeling inside of me…
My mind becomes too hazy from this point on.
Before I knew it, I was staring down at a beautiful goddess; eyes glazed over with love and passion, but most of all…Devotion for me. My chocolate hues scanned her already naked small frame, admiring the flawless beauty presented in the sun's rays as well as that cute embarrassed look you always seem to have on your face.
"You could never look at me, could you Mashiro"
I whispered into her ear only to get a gasp in response. She was always like a child, and even now it doesn't change a thing. But I don't really mind it, at least in times like these.
Only in this state, in the process of love making do I not find myself like a fool. I'm not a man to claim what is right in front of me, at least certain things. And it includes this selfish woman right in front of me…She will push everything aside; feelings and all just to get to me, and love me like she says. So selfish but yet, how different you are and the history we've been through with one another attracts me towards you.
Am I truly a fool for this?
What the hell is it that drives me to do such things…?
My tongue slowly runs down a plump mound; taking my time to make small circles before I rub my tongue against your soft pink bud, receiving soft moans in return. I then reach for the other neglected breast, giving it the same treatment as the first. The feeling arousing me more every second my tongue slowly grazed down your stomach until I reach your lips, sliding my tongue in to rub gently against your nub making you go crazy in excitement. I slowly start to do my ministrations to you the best I can until I hear you moan loudly in a hard orgasm, giving me time to remove my pants and pull down my boxers to expose my large member ready to violate you once more.
Taking my time to feel you around me, I gently caress your face as you look up to me with those hopeful, loving eyes. I could tell what you want…it was never hard to find out. And I try my best to give it to you during our passion. I ride out the sex, tainting my sheets with sweat and long carried-out orgasms.
But after it all, the same thing would happen once more..the hardest part after every blissful night. I have to tear open ourselves to reality, and face the troubles life has brought our way; troubles that you can't completely comprehend yet since you're so willing to tear through the skies just for me.
It's not a sin to love, but I know that in the situation we are in…it's not the best. I have to be the mature one of us both; I have to bring reality to us sometime no matter how hard it punches us in the face.
Annoyance. I can't seem to shake off this feeling most of the time. People everywhere no matter who they are seem to get to me, even just a little bit. Laying here, feeling your soft porcelain cheek against my broad chest and your thin arm that accompanied as well…For me, this was very hard to handle.
I don't want to but I do, letting out a well deserved sigh I force myself up, off of your grip, out of your chains.
Once again we go our separate ways, and once again I try and ignore your silent pleas. It's not that I don't love you…no, it's far from it. I adore you. The life we live in is too complicated, and if I was to give in things would only get more messed up in the hell hole we are in.
I'm no knight in shining armor.. I'm a knight wearing one of rust. I can't protect you as much as I want, and because of such complications in this life, the best I can give you is what I can offer, only to hope that my actions will eventually let you stop hoping, and to cope with just this; In time I want this to be nothing more than what it is..
It's not because I don't love you, far from it.
It's the simple fact that I am not a lovable man. I cannot be loved, because if anything I will hurt you in the end. That's a known fact.
I want things to just be simple, to keep this label off of us, and to not hurt you, all I can do is give you what I can and hope that you will eventually understand.
I am not the lovable type. Don't think I ever will be.
I can't say things in words, but I can show you through my fists. Let this silent love be just that; something blind and unnoticed, for the sake of both of us.
Ohhh Geez it's done! I've had this for...5 days longer than I made it. I was seriously deciding whether or not to do this because Kensei is a really hard character
to try to connect with. It was in a way difficult for me since I couldn't find myself connecting to him since he's more bruty. But I have special thanks to someone who helped..
CREDIT FOR CHARACTER HELP: Michael L.
Some of these lines/quotes are credited to him too! I simply remembered somewhat an thought it would be good to use. CRED TO YOU AGAIN!
Love you your amazinnn~! [;
Thinking of making a 3rd one but wouldn't know how to end it. But maybe this is a good ending? Ah well...Hope you enjoyed, and live life and live LOVE! -Q.S.O