Chapter 6:

After everyone left, Jake and I went on a walk in the woods. We both decided we needed to stay friends like I had said before, and he agreed without hesitation. We also decided that we were going to make sure to spend every minute with Bella and keep her safe. I knew Jake had patrol a lot so I agreed to do most of the babysitting. I can't risk Bella getting hurt. I had only known Bella for about a day and I already wanted to know her. I wanted to know why she fell so hard for Edward, if she could get over him, and what I could do to help. I wanted Bella to be safe; she is the first human I know.

She is also very gracious of my family, she accepts us even though we are just like her friends. I know it hurts her to be around us since it reminds her of the Cullens, but I want to save her from the hurt. How can I save the one person I am getting close with from hurting? How can I ever save her to begin with? What made me want to get close with her? Bella doesn't seem like an average human, that's why. The way she is so accepting and she is so loving, so easygoing, and so beautiful. How could Edward let her go?

I should kill the bastard. Who could hurt such an innocent creature? Only someone who felt no love or pain towards anything. When he comes back I am going to make sure he pays for hurting her. She is such a gentle creature, perfect for Jeremiah. Or for Ricky. For our family, she fits right in. But she shouldn't fit in with us; she needs to be well human. And that only drew me back to Jake. How could I bring him into my world? My horrible world of pain and killing. He kills people like me. The ones that kill unmercifully.

That is how we are always going to be. And that's why my father is sitting in a grave somewhere, rotting. My human father who didn't know of us, who loved my mother for her not for the animal we is. We are the creatures everyone should fear. Only now did I realize what we can be, vampire. As our hearts stop, we live off. We live forever and we are beautiful. So if we are the wolves enemy, why did Jake imprint on me? Is it an imprint? Can it be an imprint?

What if he finds someone better? What if I kill him while we get close? Can I control myself? I doubt it. Maybe we should take Bella and leave. She holds no appeal; we can take her as family and make her one of us. It would be easy, one exchanging of blood and she is ours. She can be happy, and make our family complete. Can it be that easy?

"What are you thinking?" Jake asked as he stood close to me, his eyes staring deep into my soul. When I looked at him I felt the need to drink him, to take his life and the very essence of my world, how can I resist? Am I strong enough? No. I know I am not, and I never will be. So how can I be so selfish and keep him? Will it only end in death and defeat the harmless purpose I had for him? It's like Lennie in Of Mice and Men. He just wanted to pet the animals and he killed them. What if I just want a kiss, a hug, and I push him to far?

"What if I slip? What if I try to get close to you and I end up killing you, sucking you dry like the hundreds of humans I must eat, that I had killed? How can you trust me so fully and not see you will get hurt because of me?" I asked honestly. As I finished, I regretted it. What if he sees I am right and he leaves me? Will I let him? I hope so. I need to be strong, for Jake.

"I trust you, because I know you will never hurt me." He answered honestly. But that only stirred my memory. He never even liked me when he first met me, he wanted Bella, and now because he imprinted he is in love with me? He doesn't really love me. Although I hated the idea of him with Bella, my Bella, I needed to know if that is what he wants.

"Jake, what if you see me, in my true nature, and you decide you don't love me. That you lied and the imprint was just your imagination and you really love Bella?" I asked as I continued walking ahead, trying to stay clear of his answer. But I needed the truth. I need the truth, right now, before I fall. I can't loose anyone else. Not my mom, not my brothers, not my Bella, and not Jake.

"I will never not love you, the imprint is real and I am never going to let you go if you want me." I felt bad for doubting him, but I needed to ask. We just met and I am suddenly in this for life. What if I want someone else? I already knew my heart was longing for another, but I could not figure whom. Maybe if I find them I can save our love, our future love that is. I don't want to hurt him. How can I save him?

"C'mon, I want to show you something." He cheered as he pulled my arm to the small clearing ahead. I was stunned, there were hundreds of brightly colored flowers blooming. The trees rose high and made the meadow darker than it should be, but it gave it a romantic feel. The meadow is small, but completely perfect. I smiled cheerily and threw myself at him. He laughed and hugged me.

"It's gorgeous." I whispered…

"Bella had shower me it, it was her and Edward's meadow, but she said I could show you it. She really likes you. She never stops talking about you." He smiled as he laughed and shook his head. Jake was easily one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen. I giggled and ran around the meadow in high speed. I could hear a small stream bubbling and I could see it through the trees. Beautiful.

Jake wrapped his arms around my waist and spun me around. This is amazing. How can a creature like me get this? How do I deserve this? I don't. I stopped short then. I don't deserve this. I deserve to be the ground that Jake walked on, not in his arms, happy. All the lives I killed, all the people that will never breath live or speak again. How could I enjoy this?

"You don't like it." Jake said with disappointment. I gasped and shook my head speedily. I love this. But I do not deserve this.

"Jake, no, I love this, but I don't deserve it. I don't deserve your love. I don't deserve to walk this earth, having amazing friends like you and Bella, and to have a family like mine. I should be where my dad is, dead. I shouldn't be able to have you here, so willing to love me, yet so willing to die for me. I should die just thinking of you with me." I said truthfully.

"Isn't it enough to just enjoy this and spend the time we have together?" He asked seriously as he stoked my cheek. His touch felt amazing and I only realized the heat of his skin that almost burned me. But I like it, it makes me feel…alive.

"For now." I whispered. The rest of day we spent in the meadow, just talking and laughing, enjoying each other. Neither of us is ready to leave, but when the sun came down, I jumped up and he drove me home. I have to be home for the moon. A chemically bred vampire has to be restrained during a full moon, mostly because we get thirsty, more thistly than we have ever been. And if we do not take shelter, we could kill what is around us. Not a good thing when you are trying to make friends.

I gave him a quick hug and ran in the house. My brothers were on edge, and my mother was in her room, already getting ready. Ricky gave me an apprehensive look and I could smell it immediately. A human is in the house. Not just a human, my human, Bella. I screamed and ran up the stairs to find her sitting on my bed waiting for me. I smiled. The look of her was amazing. What am I saying? I have Jake!

"Bella, you must leave, now." I said with venom draining from my mouth as she stood, her heart pounding and her skin flushed. I licked my lips in hunger and pushed her to the door. But she wouldn't move. I growled and lifted her down to her truck. She squealed and hit my back. She wouldn't budge as she wiggled out of my grip. I could see the moon rising and I was desperate. "Please."

"No."