Chapter Nineteen: Scarlet Red

A/N: Hey sorry I haven't updated in a while but things happened and let's just say I didn't have much time to write :-/ Oh well here it is now :]

~Severus Addicted

Harry sighed and pulled his blanket closer to himself as he sat on the boulder facing the Black Lake. The sun was slowly making it's climb above the horizon as Harry continued to stare off into the distance.

Harry attempted sleep earlier but instead he just ended up staring at the dark ceiling as millions of thoughts ran through his mind keeping him from any sleep he wished he could get. The shadows in his room were making him nervous as darker thoughts rose in his mind, his nervousness quickly became fear as his mind continued to go deeper and darker in his thoughts stirring up all the past memories he wished he could forget forever. Around three Harry gave up all hope on sleeping so instead he put on his slippers and grabbed his blanket in hopes somewhere else other then his dark room would bring back the good memories and make the bad ones fade away into the background once again.

Harry's peace was destroyed when suddenly someone in his head said, "Someones an early riser this morning."

Harry grumbled something inaudible then put his feet up on the boulder so he could sit with his feet tucked underneath his legs. "Sure."

A sigh vibrated throughout Harry's mind giving him the strange feeling of being tickled, "Not in the mood to speak to anyone?"

Harry smirked and replied, "Nah, not just anyone... Only you." He could sense the voice was growing angry so he smiled in satisfaction.

"You're bending my patience, boy." The voice ground out through what would be called clenched teeth.

This just caused Harry's smile to grow, "Oh really? Damn, I was hoping to break it."

"I'd watch your language, child. Oh and if I were you, I wouldn't break my patience." The voice said in a silky tone that reminded Harry of his guardian.

In response to that Harry just rolled his eyes then turned his attention to The Black Lake. "I'm not a child." Harry mumbled angrily as he watched the Giant Squid swim carelessly.

A booming laugh made Harry jump, "Oh you're not huh?"

Harry glared and clenched his teeth to show he was getting irritated, "NO! I am NOT a child anymore! I'm fucking fourteen years old and it's about time people start realizing this!" Harry grabbed a rock off the ground beside the boulder and pitched it as hard and as far as he could to release some of his building anger.

"You are not an adult by any means, child. I'd get that through your head if I were you."

"I did not say I was an adult. For Merlin's sake listen!" Harry could feel his face heating up with anger every second that ticked by.

"Then what are you? If you're not an adult and you're not a child, what do you call yourself? OH I got it! You call yourself a Freak! Right?! I knew it!"

Harry suddenly stood from the boulder and began pacing in front of the lake, "Fuck you asshole!"

Harry could feel as if the voice was smirking at that, "No thanks, I've had better offers."

"UGH!" Harry stomped his foot on the ground leaving a deep foot print in the soggy grass, "I HATE YOU! YOU'RE SO FUCKING ANNOYING! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!"

"Now, now there's no need for screaming like a three year old... I thought you weren't a child?" There was no doubt in Harry's mind now that the voice was smirking a devilish smirk.

Harry narrowed his eyes at the ground and said, "I'm not! But I'm not a Freak either!"

"Lying to yourself won't get you anywhere, child."

"I'm not lying to myself, asshole." Harry muttered angrily then slowly lowered himself back onto the boulder.

The sun was now almost all the way above the horizon which would indicate it's at least seven in the morning... Right? Harry sighed and ran his foot against the grass below.

"I'm not an "asshole" so I don't understand why you keep telling me I am. I am simply informing you of things."

Harry left out a bitter laugh then said cheekily, "Lying to yourself won't get you anywhere, asshole."

"Oh very funny; you can mock me, good job. Do you want a cookie?" The voice asked with sarcasm dripping from every word.

"No thank you. A cookie from you would probably be a burnt one." Harry muttered darkly.

"No, you see that's where you're wrong. A cookie from me wouldn't be a burnt one it would be a poisoned one. Get it right." The voice replied smoothly.

Harry rolled his eyes to the sky and said, "Figures."

"What do you mean by that?!" Did the voice seem.... offended?! Harry smirked in satisfaction.

"Oh nothing, nothing at all." Harry replied carelessly while attempting to hide his smirk that was daring to grow into a smile.

"Tell me!" The voice sounded as if it were getting impatient.

"Why should I?" Harry scoffed with pleasure.

"You're ridiculous!" The voice said angrily.

Harry smirked and said, "I'm ridiculous?! I'm not the one hanging out in someones mind because you're bored! Now that is true ridiculousness." Harry giggled at his joke as he slowly swung his feet back and forth.

"I'm not 'hanging' out in your mind, child. How do you know you're not going crazy and making me up? For all you know I could only be a figuration of your imagination." The voice said in all seriousness.

Harry sighed and shook his head, "Nah, you see my imagination is much better then that."

"What's that supposed to mean, child?" Harry felt as if the voice was glaring strictly at him which just made Harry smile in delight.

"It means exactly this; you see, you're boring and my imagination is pretty good at making things interesting and you're definitely not. No offense." Harry answered while attempting to keep his smile small.

"Offense taken!"The voice said offended.

Harry's smile grew across his face as he shrugged and replied, "That's not my fault."

"Yes it is! You said it!" The voice said in disbelief.

Harry sighed, "Again, you're boring me."

Instead of the voice replying like Harry expected everything went silent as if the voice was never there in the first place. Harry laughed in amusement at how easily offended the voice gets.

Harry smiled softly to himself and turned his attention back to the sun glistening off the silky surface of the Black Lake then left his mind wander free.

"Harry! Where have you been? I've missed you SO much!" Austin was literally jumping up and down in excitement at the sight of his friend.

Harry gave him a small smile as he reached him, "I-... I've been inside."

This got a chuckle out of Austin, "Well no duh, silly! You were obviously not outside. Why did you stay inside when it's so nice outside?"

Harry's pale face became paler at the small sentence Austin just said, "Austin, it wasn't my choice... Y-you know my r-relatives..."

Austin suddenly became white as a ghost at the mention of Harry's aunt and uncle, "Oh, Harry, I'm sorry! I didn't even think about that. Are you okay though? Did they hurt you?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders and slowly sat down on the ground where they always sat (under the big tree at the park), "It doesn't matter, Austin."

"DOESN'T MATTER?! If they hurt you in any way they're gonna pay big time!" Austin basically shouted causing Harry to shrink in on himself as if to hide away from the loud noise; seeing this Austin's eyes went wide and he quickly knelt down to Harry and held his hand in his own, "I'm sorry, Harry. I should not have shouted like that, it wasn't your fault."

"I-it's alright, Austin." Harry mumbled softly.

Austin sighed and squeezed Harry's hand lightly in his, "Come on, let's go home and get some cookies mother made." Austin jumped to his feet and lightly pulled Harry to his.

Home. Harry loved how Austin referred to his house as both of theirs and how he referred to his mother as his too. Harry loved these little things Austin did for him either unknowingly or knowingly, either way it was better then having no home and no mother.

When they got home Jane quickly hugged Harry and gave him a kiss on his cheek, "You're looking a bit peaky, child. How about some of my freshly baked cookies to bring that color back to your cheeks, huh?" Even if Harry said no she would have given him at least ten cookies anyway; you could never say 'no' to her.

Jane quickly turned to Austin and gave him a hug and kiss too, "Hello darling, did you have a good stroll in the park?"

Austin nodded quickly and smiled over at Harry, "Yes, mum."

Jane smiled lovingly at them both then pulled two trays of chocolate chip cookies from the oven and sat them on the counter. "Milk anyone?"

Both Austin and Harry nodded in agreement as they reached for a couple cookies.

"Where's dad, mum?" Austin asked suddenly after he swallowed a bite from his cookie.

Jane poured them both a cup of milk then sat them in front of each boy before answering, "He was called into work about an hour ago, Austin. Harry do you have a time you must be home?"

Harry slowly shook his head in denial, "No ma'am. Thank you for the cookies they're delicious."

Jane sighed and looked at him with her deep brown eyes shining, "What did I tell you about thanking me for everything I do, Harry?"

A blush slowly began to appear on Harry's pale cheeks.

Jane giggled at Harry's embarrassment then said, "Well? Come on now, child, surely you remember."

Austin smirked and shook his head at his mum, "You're torturing him, mum."

Jane's eyes went wide and she attempted to hold down a smile as he said in all seriousness, "I'd never!"

This caused all three to laugh in amusement.

Harry sighed as his memory faded away to the back of his mind, "I wonder where "mum" is now... I guess I'll never know." Harry quickly blinked away the hot tears that were daring to fall as he fell into another memory.

"Harry, come have a seat with Tom and I, please?" Jane's voice called up the stairs to Austin's room.

Once Harry was seated on the couch Tom began with, "Harry... We have a very serious question to ask you."

Harry's mind went racing with thousands of questions they could possibly ask, some good and some horrifying. "Um... Sure."

Jane and Tom exchanged a single glance before Jane took over, "Harry, darling, we would like to know if you would like us to adopt you? You are just like a son to us and we love you, how about it?"

Tom squeezed Jane's hand to keep their excitement from scaring the boy into saying "no". "Austin would be your official brother and you would never have to see you're retched relatives ever again."

Tears welled up in Harry's eyes as he quickly nodded his head "yes". "Yes I would love that, thank you!"

Tears of happiness were rolling down Jane's eyes as she replied, "What have I told you about thanking us, Harry?"

Harry giggled and smiled happily. Never again would he have to be tortured, picked on, or unloved. Never again.

But did the adoption go through? Vernon saw to it that it would never happen. Jane and Tom did everything in their power to adopt him but everything they did came back hopeless; they tried convicting the Dursley's with child abuse but of course that came back negative, they tried convicting the Dursley's with child neglect but once again that came back negative. Harry just convinced himself that he was obviously never meant to be happy. Two weeks later Austin took his own life with his father's shotgun, Harry would never forget that day; no matter how hard he tried he never would.

Tears were freely falling down Harry's cheeks and dripping onto his blanket that Harry held tightly on him in an attempt to not feel so alone, so unloved. "Austin I miss you..." Harry choked on a sob as memories of happier times flew through his mind, of times where reality wasn't real.

"Austin you never said goodbye! You never said why... Why would you do that to yourself?! WHY WOULD YOU END YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU SEEMED SO HAPPY?! WAS THIS MY FAULT? YOU WERE MY BROTHER! MY FRIEND! I LOVED YOU... I always will love you!" Harry screamed at the sky in dismay as tears streamed down his face like a waterfall.

Harry jumped from the boulder and fell to his knees soaking his pants from the soggy ground, "Why?! You never said goodbye to me! You said you loved me! You said I was your brother!" Harry screamed as he dug his fingers into the mud. "I NEED YOU!" 'I need you so much...' Suddenly Harry's energy left him and he slumped on the ground not really sure what to do next.

'End your life! Then you'll be with your brother for all eternity! You'll never be apart ever again." The voice whispered dangerously in his mind.

Harry shook his head, "I-I can't"

"Sure you can! It's easy. I can teach you if you want."The voice felt as if it were smiling at his sadness. Living on it...

Harry didn't even notice when he whispered, "No."

"Don't you want to be with your brother? He's been waiting for you all these years to join him and yet you're making him wait even longer... What a selfish boy you are indeed." The voice echoed around his mind making shivers run down Harry's spine.

"Leave me alone." Harry mumbled then turned his face into the mud as if to hide his eyes from the voice.

"Do it. End your life!" The voice basically screamed at him making Harry jump in shock.

Harry shook his head as if to clear it, "I-I don't know..."

"You're a worthless Freak anyway it's not like anyone loves you! It's not like anyone cares!"

"Severus said he cares..." Harry mumbled as he unknowingly picked up a sharp rock from the edge of the lake.

"Severus lies you idiot!" The voice screamed in frustration at Harry's stupidity.

A single tear glistened as the rising sun hit it as it was slowly rolling down Harry's pale cheek, "No he doesn't...."

"Sure he does, he's a human! Humans lie!" The voice screamed in anger.

With shaking hands he took the rock and slit a line on his arm. Harry gasped when he saw the scarlet, warm blood trickle out of the cut and roll down his arm.

"That's it! Do it again! It felt good didn't it? Look at that blood trail, amazing isn't it?" The voice said in satisfaction.

Harry left out a light sigh as he took the rock and sliced his arm once more. The blood rolled from his arm freely staining his skin scarlet red.

"Good boy... I'm proud of you." The voice whispered in honesty.

The tears and blood mixed into one small stream as Harry whispered to himself, "Severus lies..."

A/N: So... Hate me? Love me? Not sure? Tell me if you like it :]