The Girl Nations Choir – Zero to hero
Estonia and Greece are standing on the stage alone. The space behind them is darkened, while two spotlights are hanged under to hosts.
Estonia: (looking on Greece) You know, Heracles, the next performers are our fellow ladies from UN.
Greece: Oh, I see. I think that many people want to see them singing. Especially since they are really lovely ladies.
Estonia: But our performers have surprise for you, Heracles.
Greece: (rising eyebrow) Really? What kind of surprise, Ed?
Estonia: Well, the first song our female nations want to perform is a song from a Disney movie about some mythological hero… But don't surpass the events. Ladies and gentlemen (he and Greece move aside) The Girl Nations Choir.
Music starts to play. The spotlight lies on the darkened space and audience can see Belarus, Ukraine, Hungary, Liechtenstein, Taiwan, Vietnam and Belgium. They all wear white dresses and holds the microphones. Liechtenstein, Belarus and Taiwan are standing beside the Vietnam, Belgium and Ukraine, but the one, who leads the choir, is Hungary, who comes few steps beside the rest.
Hungary: Oh, yeah! Bless my soul/Herc was on a roll.
Belgium: Person of the week in every Greek opinion poll.
Ukraine: What a pro/Herc could stop a show.
Vietnam: Point him at a monster and you're talking SRO.
Hungary: He was a no one.
All girls: A zero, zero.
Hungary: Now he's a honcho.
All girls: He's a Hero.
Hungary: Here was a kid with his act down pat.
All girls: From zero to hero in no time flat./ Zero to Hero.
Hungary: Just like that.
Hungary, Belgium, Vietnam and Ukraine: When he smiled/The girls went wild with…
Liechtenstein, Belarus and Taiwan: Oohs and aahs.
Hungary: And they slapped his face/On every vase.
Belarus: On every bowl.
All girls: From appearance fees and royalties/Our Herc had cash to burn/Now nouveau riche and famous.
Hungary: He could tell you/What's the Grecian urn?
All girls: Say amen/There he goes again.
Hungary: Sweet and undefeated.
Belgium: And an awesome 10 for 10.
All girls: Folks lined up/Just to watch him flex.
Ukraine: And this perfect package/packed a pair of pretty pecs.
All girls: Hercie, he comes/He sees, he conquers/Honey, the crowds were/Going bonkers/He showed the moxie/brains, and spunk/From zero to hero…
Hungary: A major hunk.
All girls: Zero to Hero…
Belgium: And who'da thunk.
The trumpet starts to play and the choir starts to clasp rhythmically.
Belgium: Who put the glad in gladiator?
All girls: Hercules!
Vietnam: Whose daring deeds are great theater?
All girls: Hercules!
Belarus: Isn't he bold?
All girls: No one Beaver.
Taiwan: Isn't he sweet?
All girls: Our fav'rite flavor/Hercules, Hercules,/Hercules, Hercules/Hercules, Hercules./ Bless my soul/Herc was on a roll/Undefeated/Riding high…
Hungary: And the nicest Guy.
Liechtenstein, Belarus and Taiwan: Not conceited/ He was a nothin'.
Hungary, Belgium, Vietnam and Ukraine: A zero, zero.
Liechtenstein, Belarus and Taiwan: Now he's a honcho!
Hungary, Belgium, Vietnam and Ukraine: He's a hero.
All girls: He hit the heights at breakneck speed/From zero to hero/Herc is a hero/Now he's a hero.
The choir prolong the last syllable, and when they stops, the music suddenly become silent and the spotlight beams the lonely Hungary.
Hungary: Yes indeed!
The last, harsh stroke on the instruments and girls bows as the audience starts to clap their hands with enthusiasm. Soon appears Estonia and Greece, who come to Hungary and hugs her.
Greece: Wow, it was amazing, ladies!
Estonia: Indeed, amazing.
Belgium: Well, we really wanted to sing this for Heracles, since he is such a nice guy and no one thought about using Zero to Hero yet.
Hungary: And we wanted to piss off Turkey. I think it worked, because I heard on the audience annoyed curses in Turkish.
Laugh of the audience.
Estonia: (turning into viewers) Stay tuned, because The Girls Nation Choir is going to perform The Cell Block Tango, a song from musical Chicago.