Chapter Twenty: Confusion and tears
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews :]
~Severus Addicted
Severus softly knocked on Harry's bedroom door, "Harry, it's time to wake up! Breakfast is on the table." With that said he turned and went back into the kitchen.
'I'll give him five minutes to get out here and if he doesn't then I'll go pull him out of bed.' Severus smirked at his plan then picked up the Daily Profit and began reading.
When five minutes went bye Severus stood and this time opened Harry's bedroom door, "Come on Har-." He suddenly came to a stop in his sentence when he saw the bed empty. "HARRY!" Severus called throughout the house. "Where could that child be?!" Severus slammed the bedroom door shut behind him and made his way to the living room. At that exact moment the door opened to reveal a very dirty Harry with his throw blanket wrapped around his body. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU'RE IN?!" Severus narrowed his eyes at the boy strictly daring him to talk back.
Harry gulped and ignored the stinging sensation in his wrist where dried blood was starting to crust over, "Why do you care anyway?!"
"Why do I care?!" Severus said in a dangerous tone.
"I don't think I stuttered." Harry replied then started making his way to the bathroom to get cleaned up.
"I am not done talking to you, boy! Get back here at once!" Severus yelled as he watched Harry continue to the bathroom.
Harry stopped in his tracks but refused to turn around to look at his guardian. "Severus lies...." The voice's whisper echoed through his mind.
Harry finally turned to stare at his guardian with fire in his eyes, "What else is there to say?"
Severus' eyes went wide at Harry's reply, "More like what is there to do. Now come here!"
Harry rolled his eyes and looked at him disgustedly, "You're an idiot. I'm going to get a shower, goodbye." 'Jackass' Harry thought angrily as he turned and started making his way to the bathroom.
Severus stared after Harry angrily then said, "Fine, you go get your shower and as soon as you're out we WILL be having a discussion! Your atti-" The bathroom door slamming interrupted his sentence which just made Severus even angrier. Severus muttered a quick accio as he made his way to the bathroom. When the hairbrush landed in his hand he swung the door open and glared menacingly at his disobedient boy.
Harry's eyes went wide at the sight of his guardian, "Go away I'm about to get a shower for Merlin's sake!"
Severus' reply to that was simply closing the bathroom door behind him and continuing closer to Harry, "What is your problem Harry James?!"
Harry stepped back as Severus continued closer, "You're my problem! Dammit just leave me alone! You LIED!" tears slowly rolled down his cheeks as he screamed the last sentence.
The hairbrush fell to the floor with a clatter.
"What did you say?" Severus asked softly.
"YOU LIED TO ME! YOU SAID YOU CARED BUT YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T CARE! NO ONE CARES!" Harry screamed as more tears rolled down his cheeks soaking his dirty shirt.
Severus swallowed to try to fix his suddenly dry throat, "H-harry why would you think that?"
"Because I'm crazy! I'm a Freak! What else would you expect from a fucked up child like me? Surely not all happiness and gumdrops!" Harry snapped in anger.
Severus shook his head lightly and took a small step towards the distraught child, "Harry you are not a Freak, and you're surely not crazy-"
"THEN WHAT DO YOU CALL HEARING VOICES IN YOUR HEAD?! Huh?! What do you call those kind of people?" Harry took another step back from his guardian but found he came to the wall. "Just leave me alone... You lied..."
Severus shook his head and stepped closer to him, "No I didn't, Harry. I would never lie to you."
Harry shook his head and stared at Severus with wild eyes, "Don't lie to me again! I can't handle it!"
Severus forced the daring tears not to fall as he slowly reached out and touched Harry's hands. Harry suddenly lashed out and pushed him away then slowly slid down the wall, "Go away... Just leave me alone, please! I'm begging you..." Harry's whisper echoed around the bathroom.
Severus fell to his knees and slowly grasped Harry's hands in his, "Harry look at me."
Harry kept his emerald eyes lowered on the floor.
"Don't look at him! Ignore him, he lied to you! He said he cared about you! He lied..." The voice said softly.
Harry shook his head and screamed, "GO AWAY!"
Suddenly Severus was thrown out of the room, he landed on the floor with a thump.
Severus quickly stood and was about to enter the bathroom once again but suddenly the door slammed shut in his face then locked, "Harry, let me in." Severus asked softly through the door.
Harry ignored him and slowly stood from the floor and made his way to the mirror.
'Look at yourself.. What do you see?" The voice asked him.
Harry slowly raised his emerald eyes to look at the mirror, "I see... Nothing." Harry's voice cracked and he broke down into sobs.
"Good boy. I'm the only one who cares about you.. The only one who loves you, do you understand?"
Harry slowly nodded his head and whispered, "I understand..." Harry glared at his reflection and shook his head trying to shake everything bad out.
"Good boy... I'm proud of you." The voice whispered in a voice full of honesty.
"You're sick of feeling numb, you're not the only one. I'll take you by the hand and I'll show you a world that you can understand. This life is filled with hurt when happiness doesn't work. Trust me and take my hand. When the lights go out you will understand." The voice softly sang.
"Three Days Grace." Harry smiled and shook his head, "You know me too well."
"You have no idea..." The voice mumbled.
Another knock came from the door this time more urgent, "Harry who are you talking to? If it's the voice don't listen to it! Listen to my voice Harry, ignore the voice and let me in." Severus said softly in hopes Harry would listen.
"Severus lies..." The voice reminded him.
Harry threw a glare at the door and shook his head, "You lied."
"No I didn't Harry, please listen to me. Let me in and I will explain, please!" Did it sound like he was panicking? The great Severus Snape was panicking? He must be going crazy, there is no doubt about that now.
"No." Harry replied in a firm voice.
"That's it, good boy." The voice said in a proud voice.
Severus raised his wand and yelled Alohomora. The door exploded open causing Harry to jump and scramble back on his knees. "Harry come here, it's alright. Give me your hand, it's alright. We'll fight this."
Harry looked at him with wide eyes and shook his head, "What's there to fight?"
Severus knelt in front of Harry and grabbed his hand. Suddenly Severus' grip tightened and he looked up at Harry with sadness in his eyes, "When did you do this?" Severus asked softly indicating the cuts with his one finger.
Harry shrugged and attempted to pull his arm away, "I don't know what you're talking about..."
"Don't lie to me." Severus reprimanded.
Harry's eyes were flashing with anger as he snapped, "Why not?! Huh? You lied to me!"
Severus shook his head, "No, I didn't. The voice is lying to you, Harry. Don't listen to it, believe me, please."
Harry shook his head suddenly not sure who to believe, "N-no t-the voice said h-he was the only one who cared, he was t-the only one who loved me..."
Severus shook his head firmly and said, "That's not true." When he noticed Harry was staring at the floor instead of him he gently grabbed Harry's chin and forced him to look him in the eyes, "That. Is. Not. True. Think of how many people love you, how many people care about you! The voice does notcare about you nor love you for that matter, all he wants you to do is hurt yourself. Remember Harry? The voice could be a Death Eater or Voldemort himself... Do you remember? If the voice is one of them they wouldn't love you nor care about you. Do you understand? I did not lie to you, Harry. I do care about you." 'More then I could imagine..."
Harry searched Severus' eyes for any form of lies, any form of evil but he found none. Slowly tears started to roll down his cheeks as he shook his head, "I-I'm so confused!"
"Don't listen to him! He's lying to you again! Once a liar always a liar." The voice said in anger.
"I know, Harry. But trust me, I'm the good one here, I am not lying to you. The voice is bad, ignore it." Severus reminded Harry.
"I-I can't." Harry whispered in defeat.
Severus felt as if a knife was just plunged into his heart and he quickly shook his head, "Yes you can, Harry. I know you can. Just listen to my voice and only my voice. You can do this, I know you can."
Harry choked on a sob as he tried to force himself to ignore the screaming voice in his mind.
"Don't ignore me! Don't fall for his lies!" The voice screamed in anger.
Harry shook his head and whispered, "He didn't lie... He didn't... HE DIDN'T LIE!"
"YES HE DID! FOR MERLIN'S SAKE DON'T BE STUPID!" The voice screamed at him.
Harry closed his eyes and squeezed Severus' hand tightly in his. "You're not real... You're evil. You're not here. You can't control me." Harry whispered to himself over and over again.
"LISTEN TO ME!" The voice's tone became darker and evil.
"You're not real... You're evil. You're not here. You can't control me." Harry continued to whisper as he ignored the voice.
"I AM REAL! I AM! I'M NOT THE EVIL ONE, HE IS!" The voice seemed to be going farther and farther away from his mind.
"You're not real... You're evil. You're not here. You can't control me." Harry whispered as he held onto Severus' hand like a lifeline.
"Listen to me! Not him! DAMNIT!" The voice continued to go farther and farther away until his screams and pleas became memories.
Harry's body went limp and he fell forward into Severus' body. Severus quickly wrapped his arms around Harry and began whispering, "Good job, Harry. I'm proud of you."
Harry began to sob making Severus' shirt become wet, "I'm sorry..."
Slowly Severus' barrier began to break and his tears slowly rolled down his cheeks and into Harry's hair, "I know, shh, I know. It's alright."
Fifteen minutes went bye and Severus slowly stood. He offered Harry his hands to help him up off the bathroom floor too, "Come on, Harry. Let's get those cuts cleaned up, alright? Then you may get your shower. After that though we need to talk, okay?"
A slow nod was Harry's only reply.
Severus led Harry over to the sink then opened the cabinet and got some peroxide out.
Harry's eyes went wide and he quickly asked, "What's that?"
"Peroxide." Severus said as he got a cotton ball out and put some of the peroxide on it.
"W-will it sting?" Harry asked as he held his hand close to his body in an attempt at keeping it away from Severus' prying fingers.
"Harry give me your hand, please." Severus said as he put the peroxide back into the cabinet.
"D-does it sting?" Harry asked again and ignored Severus' request.
"It will a bit but you need to get it cleaned out. What did you cut yourself with anyway?" Severus asked softly as he waited for Harry's wrist.
Harry slowly left Severus take his wrist in his hand. "A.. A rock." Harry quickly lowered his eyes to the floor when he noticed Severus snap his dark eyes on him.
"Harry James..." Severus sighed then slowly began rubbing the cotton ball over the two cuts making Harry hiss from the stinging sensation. Once they were all clean he put two band-aids on them.
"I'm sorry..." Harry whispered softly.
Severus sighed and nodded his head, "We'll talk after your shower. Now go get cleaned up, child." Severus ruffled Harry's hair then left the bathroom closing the door behind him.
Harry sighed and began undressing for his shower.
Severus slowly lowered himself onto his chair and sighed, "I better not get grey hair soon..."
A/N: So like it? I hope so :]
Next chapter will have the conversation... dun dun dun. lol
Thanks!
~Severus Addicted