WARNING! RATED M!!! Also major SPOILERS! I merged The Mayhem on the Cross and The Double Death of the Dearly Departed episodes together. I hope you like this chapter, It took me some time to wright because I kept deleting stuff and re-writing it. Things have been really hectic here lately and I want to THANK EVERYONE for being so patient and so kind about everything I have going on right now. Its been rough lately. So thank you all so much for everything!! it means so much to me that you are all so understanding! With that said... I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I liked writing it. It takes my mind off my real life issues for awhile so this chapter has a lot of emotion in it. Or at least to me it does? Enjoy my loves!

Chapter: 17

Just Sex;

"How long has be been out?"

"Just a few minutes..."Temperance said to the ETM as he pushed her aside so they could roll Booth onto a gurney.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"He has a tumor!" she blurted out with a worried tone.

She stood next to the gurney and took his hand in her own as they rushed him towards the ambulance. Brennan slid inside the back with one of the EMT's, both her small hands now covering his own, she squeezed it tightly hoping to get a reaction from him. Everything just happened so fast and he had been fine the last few days, or at least from what she had seen of him he was? She hated herself now for not being there with him because of some stupid kiss and stupid feelings they shared together, she couldn't watch out for him to know if he was ok or not.

She sighed with a small curse as they approached the hospital. Bones hopped out and rushed inside with them, her hand still clutched to Booth's. One of the nurses approached her and stopped her as her hand trailed away from his; she looked on as they wheeled him into an operating room. To an outsider it would appear to be a scene from a romance movie turned sad, but to Temperance this was reality.

"Sweetie? Did you hear what I said?" Angela said waving her hand in front of Bones' face.

Temperance blinked a few times and shook her head as she looked at Angela, "w –what?" she said quickly.

"I said the footage is here… from the concert?" she repeated.

Bones looked at her and nodded, it had been two days since Booth's relapse. It turned out that he had a reaction from the medication he had been taking, the tumor had actually grown a centimeter, not necessarily because of the medication, but because the dosage wasn't strong enough, not to mention Booth had a terrible reaction to it which caused his passing out a few days ago. He was still in the hospital and would be released sometime today, Bones offered to be the one to drive him home.

She didn't get to spend much time with him in the hospital the last few days like she would have liked too. But that was for many reasons, first being because she didn't want to get too close again and something happen. She was too smart for that, or at least she thought it was a smart idea? Secondly there was a death in the lab, Hank Reilly, head of the Egyptology department had died of heart failure yesterday. And the other was because the case they had been working on was taking a long time to get through. A human skeleton was found on stage at a SPEW concert in Norway. SPEW according to the internet and record labels was the next hottest band. They were a death metal band that liked to use satanic things while performing on stage.

Well the remains that were found belonged to Mayhem, aka Justin Dancy, who happened to be American and the bassist for the band. Now they were trying to pin point suspects through video footage that was shot during the concert. According to fans all over they had conflicts with other bands because of popularity, which made sense for motive to kill someone if you were trying to prove yourself better at something.

"You alright?" Angela asked her trying to snap Brennan from her thoughts.

"W –what? Oh, yes I'm fine." She swallowed hard and leaned back in her desk chair looking up at Angela. "Didn't get much sleep last night…"

"I can see that." Angela furrowed her brows together and walked over picking up Bones' bag. "Here… go see Booth." She watched Temperance's focus become serious, "I'll call you when we find something new, in the mean time just … go… to him," Angela said softly, "be with him and let him know he's not alone!" It was the hopeless romantic in Angela talking now.

Temperance sighed and stood up slowly taking in Angela's words, she would go to be with him, but not be with him. She would be there to show him that she cared but not in the way that she wanted… or should have wanted. Bones took the bag from Angela's hand and hugged her quickly and started for her office doors but then turned around quickly looking at Angela with desperation in her face.

Angela smiled and chuckled, "you'll know what to say to him when you get there. It'll all come to you… I promise!"

"Thanks Ang…"

X/X/X/

Booth sat there in his hospital bed fumbling with the IV in his hand, the doctor had came in a little over an hour ago and told him that they would be releasing him tonight sometime? He tried to call Bones but her phone was off, he hoped that she wasn't having second thoughts about taking him home tonight? She visited him both days he was there but they never really spoke much. He remembered everything… or at least he thought he did? He remembered going to her office and telling her how he felt… or at least he was trying to? The part where he told her he was madly in love with her was a little fuzzy, which only made him believe that he didn't get those words out because she defiantly would have said something to him if he had.

Or maybe she wouldn't? Hoping that he would have forgotten about it so she wouldn't have to deal with the feelings? Either way he would tell her sometime… soon. He had too; he couldn't go on like this anymore. He didn't want to hurt her, that's why he stopped things before; he didn't want to get her in too deep when things with him were just now getting worse. That wouldn't be fare to her at all or himself.

As Booth wallowed in his thoughts he closed his eyes smelling honey and strawberries, smelling her… his Bones. When he opened them there she stood at the foot of his bed, a look of worry and seriousness on her face.

"Booth? Are you ok? Do you want me to get the doctor?" she asked concerned.

Seeley chuckled and shook his head lightly, "no, I'm fine."

She walked slowly around the bed and to his left side, she pulled the chair back some and sat then stood again. No matter what she wasn't going to get comfortable being there with him.

"Are you ok?" he questioned now seeing how antsy she was.

"Never better…" Total lie! "Has the doctor been in to see you?"

He studied her for a moment seeing that she was doing her best to look at everything but him as much as possible. "Yeah…" he trailed off waiting her to make eye contact with him again.

When Booth didn't offer anymore information about the doctor she felt obligated to look at him now, she hated when he did things like that. She sighed and finally looked into his eyes, mistake! Big mistake! She wanted to melt; he looked so tired, but still so brutally gorgeous.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"What did the doctor say?"

"They're releasing me today…" he said softly still holding her gaze. He didn't even make a move to blink he was too afraid she would look away again, "are you still able to take me home?"

"Yes… of course."

She finally pealed her gaze from his and walked towards the window looking out; the sun was starting to set already. It was a nice night out actually, she was happy Booth wouldn't have to spend another night in the hospital.

"They told me that your tumor grew another centimeter?" she said turning around to face him only her eyes were looking down.

Booth sighed loudly and rubbed his hands over his face, "yeah it has."

"T –that happens sometimes…" she said softly looking up to see him looking down at his hands. She wanted to reach out to him and coddle him again. She could feel the tears burn her eyes as she watched him, her feet willing moving forward and before she knew it she was next to him by the bed. Her hand reached out and she took his in her own and watched him look up at her squeezing her hand for dear life.

"What if this treatment doesn't work this time?"

Bones' heart was breaking again, she frowned and squeezed his hand back softly, "I don't know?" She wanted to say 'have faith Booth' but she didn't believe in faith and that would be hypocritical of her to tell him to believe in something that he did but she knew nothing about.

It wasn't the answer he was hoping for, but that was all he could expect from her. When he opened his mouth to speak again she pulled away all too quickly for his liking and then he noticed the doctor walking into the room with one of the nurses.

Bones composed herself and crossed her arms over her chest watching as the nurse walked over and started to remove his IV.

"You're free to leave, Agent Booth," the doctor said to him with a small smile. "The new medication has seemed to work well with you these last few days so I'm prescribing that you take it twice a day and I want you back here in a week for a check up. We'll do another MRI and see how the tumor is doing…" he said looking down at his clipboard then back up at Booth. "Any more questions?"

"How long should he stay out of work?" Bones asked before Booth could even open his mouth.

Seeley chuckled looking at her then back at the doctor.

"Just take tomorrow off to rest up and then you can go back whenever you'd like… just don't do anything too put any strain on your upper body, that can cause the tumor to get irritated and sometimes there is hemorrhaging, with this medication you have to extra careful."

"Great!" Booth said sarcastically.

X/X/X/

Although she didn't need to Bones helped Booth up to his apartment, she held onto him like she would have if he was an old man walking without his cane. Booth found it amusing but in no way was going to stop her from helping him… nonetheless touching him. She put the key in the door and let go of him opening the door letting him go in first. The room was dark with the exception of the moonlight coming through his curtains; she moved to the corner of his room and flipped a light on.

"Jesus Bones!" Booth said shielding his eyes as he leaned back against the living room wall.

"Sorry!" she said softly biting her bottom lip. She watched him straighten himself out and run his hand over his face. "I'll come by tomorrow… and have lunch with you if you'd like?" she said softly walking towards the middle of the living room.

"Whoa! You're leaving?" he asked hurt.

This was what she was afraid of, she felt compelled to stay with him… she wanted to stay with him. "Yes. I have a lot of work to do still… and I haven't been getting much sleep lately…" she said softly looking over at him seeing him walk towards her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered with sincerity.

"Not your fault…" she trailed off looking at him seeing his brows furrow. "Ok it is your fault, the majority of it anyhow."

Booth opened his mouth to speak but heard her continue on.

"It's your fault I can't sleep… or even think straight…" she carried on walking towards his window, anywhere so she didn't have to look at him. "I worry so much about you, Booth!" Her voice cracked, she felt tears in her eyes, she couldn't do this now. She couldn't speak her feelings to him, not like this anyhow.

When she went to turn around she felt Booth's hand on her elbow as he pulled her around and into his body, his chest crashing with hers along with his lips. She responded instantly and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him down into her body, pulling his tongue deeper into her mouth as she made a throaty moan into the kiss. Booth pushed her back against the wall, his hands sliding along her sides hiking her shirt up some. His fingers grazed along her milky skin he loved so much, he pulled her closer against his body feeling her pull his hair softly as though she were afraid she was going to hurt him.

Booth smiled breaking the kiss before trailing his lips down along the front of her throat and then up along the column of her neck. He sucked softly on the skin there before feeling her pull away, she pushed him gently away from her, both their bodies flush from sexual anticipation, lips swollen and body parts ached that hadn't felt true intimacy for awhile.

Booth let out a heavy breath watching her closely, "we can't do this, Booth."

As she began to push past him he grabbed her upper arms gently and pulled her against him again, she gasped breathlessly and looked up into his eyes. "You're probably right…" he agreed.

She was taken aback; she wasn't expecting him to say that? She tried to pull away, she could have but her effort was weak, "so then I should go."

"I'm not stopping you," he said softly leaning his head down again feeling her push her lips against his again meeting him half way. This time his back hit the wall as she pressed herself against him. He knew she mentioned before about being aggressive, he could handle it, all of it but the way she was kissing him he knew she was scared. Her lips hesitated for a moment but the hesitation was forgotten when he pushed his lips to her again urging her to kiss him more.

They both knew where this was leading too, but would it go all the way? Would this just be sex to her? Would Booth let it go as far as making love? There had to be feelings involved and although he knew there were… they both knew there were, they weren't fully expressed yet and Booth didn't know if he could handle that.

Oh what the hell! Stop thinking so much Seeley, you got her in your arms now, show her what you feel. Make her feel what you feel!

What are we doing? This wasn't a part of the plan tonight… to have sex with Booth. What if I hurt him? He's still weak from all the treatment, it's like I'm taking advantage of him! Besides… he'll think this is more then just casual sex, which this is all it will clearly be… this isn't love. No… it can't be! Convincing herself was harder then she thought it would be. She pulled away again looking up into his eyes.

"You're still weak from the treatment… you should… sleep."

Booth shook his head crushed his lips to hers again feeling her trying to pull away from his grasp. "I don't need sleep…" he breathed out against her lips pulling her with him as he walked backwards towards his bedroom.

She stopped trying to push him away now in fact she was walking with him.

Once they hit his bedroom he fell back onto his bed, or she pushed him back? He wasn't sure and honestly it didn't matter, he was with the woman he loved. As she straddled his waist his hands moved to the bottom hem of her shirt, he yanked it quickly over her head and watched as her hair fell around her shoulders, her breasts filled her bra perfectly, her skin was as white and smooth as he imagined. Booth's large hands grazed along her naked back as he pulled her down to him once again, kissing her feverishly.

She moaned feeling him arch his hips up into hers, his obvious erection straining against the confines of his pants and brushed along the center of her thighs. She broke the kiss once again and leaned up looking down at him, she moved her hands to his sides and under his shirt pulling it up over his head. His muscles flexed so beautifully, Temperance sighed with a smile and then moved her hands to her back and unsnapped her bra. When she discarded it Booth's face was priceless.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered seeing her blush slightly.

Booth made a move to pull her down against him again and flip them over but she grabbed his wrists and shook her head.

"Don't … let me have this moment," she whispered to him softly and seriously.

If Booth didn't know any better he could have swore he heard love in her voice? He wanted to believe it because the way she was acting, and the way she was being gentle it was the start of what love making was all about. Did she know that? Probably not? Booth didn't want to ruin the moment by saying anything so he didn't, but then the other part of him was brought back to the notion that this might just be sex to her? When he looked at her again and felt her hands at his pants, all his thoughts went away again.

Bones fumbled with the strings of his sweats and yanked them down in once quick motion. Her breath hitched seeing his cock spring to life, a thick robe against his belly, she always imagined that he was well sized but never like this.

Booth chuckled when she looked up at him; he furrowed his brow up and down a few times seeing her smile. She swallowed hard and crawled off him momentarily; Booth frowned then noticed she was taking the rest of her clothing off. He wanted to be the one doing it, but didn't want her to change her mind about what was about to happen so he let her take control.

As her pants fell to a pile at her feet she stepped out of them and pull her thong down, she was now fully naked in front of him. Booth's eyes played along the luscious curves of her body, her breasts were just perfect, natural and more then a handful. While his eyes traveled south she approached the bed, his eyes stopped at the thin strip of curls that was at the center of her legs.

Halleluiah… Halleluiah… Halleluiah!

Booth couldn't hide his grin as she crawled on top of him again, he groaned loudly feeling her slick heat rub against his shaft. She was so wet already; Booth could have came right then and there.

Temperance ran her hands slowly up his chest circling his shoulders as she leaned down and kissed his lips. She felt him arch his hips upward again, his cock rubbing hard against her core. She moaned and took his bottom lip between her teeth tugging on it gently. His hands roamed her back and over her ass, he squeezed it hard hearing her yelp slightly and pull away. They both had the look of fiery passion in their eyes, different kinds of passion? Maybe? Either way the intentions were the same.

"I need to be inside you now… Temperance," he whispered with seduction in his voice.

She shuddered and leaned up, her eyes never leaving his. Earlier today she had trouble looking at him, she didn't want to look at him because of those feelings, but now she couldn't seem to keep her eyes from his. She moved her hand down and gripped his cock with her hand, he arched into her touch and groaned loudly as she lifted herself with her legs and slowly guided him inside of her.

They both moaned in unison as his tip penetrated inside of her tight entrance. She swallowed hard before she settled herself all the way on top of him feeling him stretch her completely with his thickness. She squeezed his biceps hard with a moan, her head thrown back and her eyes closed, her walls contracted around him instantly. It had been awhile since she had intercourse so it took her a moment to adjust to his girth.

Booth groaned loudly moving his hands along her thighs, gripping them hard as she swallowed him whole. His cock swelled more inside of her hot sheath as she started to pump herself slowly on top of him. She began to pant and so did he. He had never felt more complete in his entire life. He always imagined what it would feel like to be inside of her and now that he was, his imagination didn't do the real thing justice. Booth moved his hips up and down meeting her every pumping motion, her tight walls gripping him hard from the inside as he pumped his way in and out of her.

Bones looked down at him and rested her hands against his chest to keep herself steady as she started to pump herself harder on top of him. With his hands still gripping her thighs she moved her hands away from him and thrusted her chest forward, her hips moving at a steady almost roughening pace. She threw her head back and closed her eyes as she let out a bellow of ecstasy. The fantasies she had before of them together like this weren't nearly as good as it was now. Booth was so intoxicating, in more ways then one and this moment proved to her that she in fact couldn't be without him.

Would she admit to it? Probably not. Not now anyways.

With her eyes still closed and her head still throne back she moved her hands to her thighs and over top of his. She guided his hands up to her breasts making him taking them into his hands and when he responded and kneaded them softly in his large hands she groaned and parted her lips as she continued to pump herself against his throbbing cock. Her skin began to flush and she could feel it, she could feel his hips pick up their pace as she arched more and ground her hips harder against his making him slide deeper inside of her hot cavern.

"Look at me …"

Temperance didn't want to; she was in heaven… total bliss.

"Look at me, baby!"

She swallowed hard and panted even more slowly lowering her head as her eyes opened she saw his skin was flush too. She had never seen that look before in his eyes, it was indiscernible. He smiled up at her and rolled her nipples between his fingers as he pumped his hips up harder inside of her. He could feel the ecstasy began to beat through his body… his orgasm starting to build up.

She could feel it too, in the pit of her stomach; she knew it was going to be the most incredible orgasm she ever had. As her moans grew louder his grip got tighter and he pulled her hard down against him, his lips crashing to hers as his tongue delved deep inside of her mouth. He moved his hands to her ass again gripping it hard and guiding her up and down against his erection as she moved at a forceful pace.

He felt her break the kiss and pant against his mouth, he thrusted his hips up against hers continuously making her feel what he was feeling. He wanted to explode inside of her, to make her feel what true love was really like. Seeley threw his head back feeling her lips trail along the vale of the front of his throat and along his chest then back up again. He could defiantly feel his orgasm now; he was ready to erupt at any moment. When she pulled away she groaned hard, "ooh! B –Booth!" she panted moving herself harder now, her inner walls contracting hard around his cock, her breasts bouncing hard up and down as his hand moved between them he pressed his middle and pointer finger against her clit. She arched forward and screamed, "I –I –I …" she stumbled on her words. "I'm gonna …"

"Let it… Come with me… Temperance!"

Then as if an atomic bomb at went off he exploded inside of her, his hot cum shot inside of her tight sex as she, too, came around him. He looked up to see tears in her eyes, her skin flush and her body quivering as she continued to pump herself on him. He groaned feeling her walls contract so hard around him, it was almost painful but it felt so damn good. He reached up and pulled her down against him, why was she crying? Did he hurt her?

"Temperance?" he whispered feeling her body start to slow a little more almost to a stop. He put his hand on her cheek whipping a tear away as she pressed her body hard against his panting along with him. "Did I hurt you?" he asked worried now.

She shook her head no and buried her face against he nape of his neck. Her body felt numb, she had never felt this way before. She had never felt a sense of completion with man before in her life. This was all so knew to her and she didn't know how to handle it? She was trying to convince herself it was just a bodily chemical reaction, but she was in too much pleasure that her brain wouldn't let her be the rational scientist right now.

Booth made a movement to pull out of her but she stopped him, "don't…" she whispered still feeling the aftershocks of her incredible orgasm. Booth wrapped his arms tightly around her and moved his lips to her forehead kissing it softly. He could feel cold wet tears on his neck and every time one fell he gripped her small hot body tighter against his. He let her cry for as long as she needed to, her chest moving hard with her soft sobs, he had a feeling he knew why she was so emotional now.

He did make her feel what he was feeling.

He made her feel what true love making was really like.

That what they had was special and like nothing she would ever experience again. That neither of them would ever experience again.

X/X/X/

Bones slowly stirred feeling something holding her tight, she felt trapped like a prisoner in hard iron bars. When she finally opened her eyes she realized it was arms around her. Her body ached in all the right places and her cheeks hurt from her crying the night before. Crying! Oh god, what did I do? She made a quick movement and removed her naked body from Booth's arms. He stirred as well as she frantically looked around for her clothing. She knew she made a fool of herself last night… she cried while she had her orgasm and then fell asleep crying in his arms.

This wasn't right. None of this was right!

"Bones?" Booth finally said watching her pull her pants up and zip them. "Where are you going?"

"Home… work…" she said breathlessly looking around for her bra. Booth leaned up on the bed and tossed it her.

"Don't you wanna maybe talk about -,"

"We don't need to talk… this … this was a mistake… you … we…" she shook her head and looked at him as he got out of the bed. "I have to go!"

She rushed down the hall while sliding her shirt on over her head. She could hear Booth coming after her as she looked frantically now for her keys, when she spotted them on the table she reached out to get them feeling him grab her arm to turn her around.

"Booth… don't… I have to go!"

"You think last night was a mistake?" he asked hurt and alarmed now.

When she looked at him he was naked still, he had an erection again and so badly did she want to help him take care of it because she too could feel the moister between her thighs build.

"It was merely emotion that took over… us both… its proven that when emotions are high there is an adrenaline rush and sometimes -,"

"Stop! Just stop with the science talk! Last night was not a mistake! You and I both know that… you felt it, Bones. I know you did…"

"I felt nothing, Booth! It was just… just sex!"

That was a low blow it felt like he had been hit in the gut. He let go of her arm watching her stalk towards his door he went after her and stood behind her pushing the door closed with his hand as she spun around he pinned her to the door.

"Let me go!" she shouted.

"No! I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't feel it last night… when we made love! That those tears were because you had never felt that way before in your life, that you never felt so numb and never felt -,"

"Those tears were because I knew it was a mistake… that wasn't love last night… it was just sex!"

The instant she said it she regretted it. His face fell and his body tensed. She swore she could see the smoke coming from his ears, like one of those pissed off cartoon characters. He backed away from her a little as she stood straight and looked at him, her bottom lip and chin quivered some as she looked into his eyes.

"You can lie to yourself… but don't lie to me," his voice was just below a whisper as he looked at her. "It wasn't just sex… we made love, Temperance and you know it."

She wanted to reach out and wrap her arms around him, kiss him senseless and … make love to him… again! But this heartless bitch act had to work for now, how could she go back on her words now? Bones wasn't good at expressing emotions especially towards Booth.

"Booth…" she whispered and stepped forward as he stepped back. She saw him reach out like he was going to touch her and she was ready for him too instead he pulled the door open behind her.

"Just go…" he said with pain in his voice.

Bones felt the tears in her eyes well up again, why? Why did she have to be so pigheaded and stupid? She just ruined everything! She looked at him seeing him looking away from her before she pulled the door open more and walked out. Booth stood there with his hand on the open door and his head down. He could hear someone clear their throat and when he looked up the little old lady across the hall was standing at her door.

Booth's cheeks turned red hot as he looked down at his naked body and smiled at her before closing the door. If that wasn't embarrassing enough, how was going to face Bones again? He knew that this would happen, in the back of his mind last night, but he wanted so badly to believe that when they came together she felt it in her heart. That she felt that it wasn't just sex but that they made love and that it was meant to be.

Where would it all go from here?

Dont hate me!!! I had to do it this way only to set it up for the coming chapters, besides the angst is nessisary! I could see Bones reacting that way, maybe its just me? But I do, I promise to make it up to you all... this was for leaving it such a cliffhanger in the last chapter it is sort of that way with this one too. But I like doing that, I like keeping people on the edge of their seats it makes the story much more interesting I think? Anyhow, please let me know what you think.. It took me some writing this to make it as perfect for you as I though it could be. Like I said dont hate me though, I promise to make it up to you all. XD

Commenty goodness would be nice!