A/N: Uhmmm, yeah. Long time no see. Long time no write, for that matter. I've been super busy and super worn thin down here in Florida. I won't go into the details but I've been VERY stressed out. It doesn't even feel like the holidays - no snow, no cold, no decorations, no nothing - so they're flying by and I'm missing them. ..But it IS Christmas time, and I guess I at the very least owe an update as my gift to you, seeing how its been so long and most of you have probably forgotten about this story or have lost interest. XD As for how good it is, well I can't say much for that. But that's something you've come to expect, yeah?
No estimate on the next update, but I'll be back home in a few more weeks and writing will be a bit easier than it used to be. Go easy on me. Still in the middle of a block. It showwssss... Seriously this chapter is total shit, I can't get it to flow at ALL. But we need an update, and I need the story to move on. It's ok, cuz later on when FaS is over I plan to go over the whole story and clean it up XD ahah.. I mean... this chapter, for some terrible reason, was just a bitch to write.
Chapter? Shit. Title? Shit. Be nice.f
Ok, no more talky, no more excusey. More writey.
If you don't want a bulk of review responses, skip past them. Lots of reviews this time around and oh, guys? I'm really sorry about the wait. I'm aware I may have lost some readers but for those of you that are still around, thank you.
Does anyone remember what they wrote??
xxoxLOVELESSxoxx: I know, right!? Kazu being defensive of Ikki is so precious. He's so hopelessly in love with that boy, you know? I'm not Ringo's biggest fan either, but there IS some part of me that just feels for her, prolly 'coz she's such an Ikki-supporter. Have you written your fanfiction yet? I'd love to read it.
Artistic18: Oh yes, the jacket was such an important piece. Sadly, it wasn't just a cute gesture on Ikki's part, it needed to be done to move the story on. Mwahah my mind its retarded like that. You writing fics, too? Gosh, thank you so much, saying you were inspired is very sweet of you.
Slifer: Right right, for being such a baddie, the Devil doesn't make too many appearences, does he? And oh Kazu, have you ever noticed how the more nobal he tries to be the more trouble he gets himself into? Ringo and Simca are hard as hell to write, specially since I don't really care for writing it. Otakon was a good while back but did you manage to catch us?
nonday: Yeah, this story has gotten way longer than I intended, so confrontations and climaxes are arriving late, but at least we're reaching that point. Has anyone noticed? I adore writing Kazu's character. He's the easiest for me. But alas you are right, they are all just a pack of idiots, but we love them for it.
firedraygon: Right, and poor intentions ending badly seems to be becoming Kazu's forte. The situation is almost so tight that I was very close to not knowing how to write myself out of it. But this story is my darling and will be seen through to the very end, however make or break it becomes. The girls are hardest to write, honestly, they're only in there 'coz they have to be.
Oceans in Hand: Oh dear, pick that stomach back up, there's more to come! I know what you mean, romance stories are fun and all but I find myself losing interest kinda fast if it's the only thing going on. A rough guess of chapters? I'd say about 6 or 7, depending on how long some of them get. How's that? XD
Blizzy: Blizzy darling, how I miss you! Your reviews always make my heart flutter. I'm so glad you understand that chapter was hard, please understand that this one was for some reason harder. Dear lord your mind is an awesome thing, that comes up with the craziest things when you read my things. Ahah, it's worth it. I can't promise I'll cover every single base I've put into play but I sure as hell am going to try. How's that fic of yours, hmm?
ranchan-akari: I don't know what he's going to do, I haven't figured it out fully just yet! Ahh! TBH I adored writing the 'silent communication' part cuz it just seems like something they could pull off really easy. LOL all the girls should die, huh? I dunno if they should, but it sure would make things a lot more easier, wouldn't you say? Dude, if Oh!Great drew more, like, legic fanservice, I will die a happy person.
iKat.13: It's been so long since I've updated that I nearly forgot the slap! Rereading your review reminded me like.. like... well, like a slap to the face! (bad joke DX) I do feel bad for Emiri but I also really like her character, which is why she seems to get a but more attention from me than Ringo does. I agree that connections were very obvious and pieces should have been put together much faster, but I'll take it as a lesson learned as a writer. Something to improve on. Were you at Otakon?
Katanari: I'm sorry dear, I honestly don't even plan cliffhangers at all. They seriously just happen all their own. I'm all american, white, dork, so on, so on... Was it really a twist? XD lol it seemed too predictable to me, but thank you so much for that. The review wasn't crappy, it's very much appreciated.
ArrowAeroAir: I'm sorry to hear you've been down, and very happy to hear I could serve as a pick-me-up! Well hopefully by now things have cleared up and you're doing much better, and if not, here's hoping this chapter helps you out again. Have I ever had writers block? Try all the time. Like right now, which is why this chapter is going to suck balls. Thank you!
Chubby-King-Chocobo: lol too late, I tired myself out too much these days. Sorry for lack of fast update this time around, and I'm glad you can sense the rising tension. It was hard to portray. OMG yeah about the Akito thing, he doesn't need much time in FaS cuz he gets soooo much attention everywhere else, from so many people. If people hate the lack of him in this story, they just have to click on other stories. Me and you? We're on a good wavelength here.
Nightshade47: Don't cry, I'm a sucker for sad endings, as I've said, which totally spoils all fear of something irreversable happening! Sorry for the cliffy, they just happen, really. Aww you flatter me so! Hearing someone is 'devoted' to FaS is such a compliment, and thank you! You check my pages and all that! Mwahhh~
Versus: No apologies needed, dear. Yup, the plot is finally getting somewhere good, after how many chapters of nonsense, right? Not many people saw the jacket thing coming, mainly cuz no one really remembered he had it on (not even Kazu). I think I only remembered it cuz it was vital to the next part of the story. Oh ho, you're guessing skills are to be envied, dear, let's just leave it at that, huh?
Telecast: Long review is long. But it's totally cool, I LOVE long reviews. Ah, a write and read type, I like that. Thanks for helping me find the mess ups, I always seem to miss something somewhere, ahaha, which is sad, and thank you for all the compliments. Uneasy, huh, if you don't really feel it, eh? TBH I can understand that - I get that sometimes. Like I should force my sadness but shouldnt the words make me feel it anyway? Thank you so much hun, and don't worry about long reviews. I live for them.
Seiji-kin Chiaki-kin Eiji-kun: Aww, you're so sweet ;_; Reading my notes and responses is so kind of you. Aw and you sound so devoted to finishing the fic, which means SO much to me, really. YOU, are so flattering to me in the way you react to just one paragraph. I hope you keep reading, my dear, the story is quickly (slowly) coming to an end.
TheaBlackthorn: Yup they sure are assholes, arn't they. I guess it's my fault that everyones all depressed or somethin'gs going on, lol, but hopefully things clear up if they work out the way I'm planning. I'm so sorry about the wait, though. I love writing emotion - not to sound self centered but it's something I find very easy to write about.
Cataclysmic Disaster: Oh! Thank you very much! As much as I don't like writing Ringo Simca scenes, I did enjoy the slap. I think I was smirking at the time. Sorry to leave you in suspense for so long, seriously, and thank you for all your words. LOL I don't get Kitten to draw anything - she kinda does it of her own free will. Don't worry, she'll do more eventually, if I know her. But give her some time, yeah?
BlackFlameRose: Four days? lol you are so spazzy I love it. Remember its not the number of reviews you get, its the number of readers. (reviews are nice to get tho, you know?) Don't worry about Sano, he's going to play a little role soon enough. I've been planning it for a long while now. Hang on for the ride a little while longer, he'll be in the next chapter for sure. And just a tiny bit in this one.
bigfatsamantha: dont exploooddeee, but gosh thank you! I hope the wait is worth it cuz I HATE making people wait, but at the same time I like to take the time I need to complete it. This fic is getting so old tho, I hope people still come around. Don't be jealous, anyone can write if they have the passion for it. I'm sure that goes for you, too. Thanks for all wishes, I'm doing what I can.
KidAngel: Sorry I've been so out of touch, hun. I miss you and I still now and again drop by your pages to see what you've been up to. You know I'm horrible for leaving reviews on time, I'm always late, but forgive me! I hope you're still around for this chapter, I hope to hear from you soon!
Ikichi: Yeah.. it did kinda fly by, didn't it. It was hard but at least it's over with. When the whole fic is done I'm going to go thru it and fix all my errors and make the sentences flow better. A final run through, sorta. Don't worry, I'm not going to let this baby die, or give it up - if you still have interest in it, be rest assured that it will be finished. I'm set on it.
Endy: Oh Endy-darling where have you gone? I miss talking to you so much, you know! Mahh but your reviews ALWAYS brighten my day, no matter what. You are always so observant and descriptive when your reviews and I get so happy reading them. Don't apologize for crit, without that I can't improve. LOL omg I love your 'Zuzu' so much, you can bet it'll reach a story somewhere in the future. Bet on it. Juicy stuff is on its way, I know you've been waiting for this, so here you go, hun. I hope I get to talk to you soon, it's been so long.
Udyjay: Did I just see a hint that you'd raep me, dear? lol, thank you for your understanding that other things happen, and I don't have all the time to write that I'd like to have. Ringo teeters on my love hate scale a lot, but the Ikkazu is always on my good side, which means more for you. Thanks for the Ringo comments, she's not my fav to write, you know. Aahah the way you ramble how cute Kazu is makes me smile hard core.
rei yamata: Suspense is what I seem to be good at, from what I hear, even tho I'm honestly not trying, lol. Oh god, reading your review now I totally forgot about the pins. I don't remember if I sent you anything or if you sent me anything anymore, its been so long. GOD I'm terrible for that, remind me please? I'm so sorry. I hope things are working out for you, tho, and I hope you enjoy the chapter.
Yunimori: First review, I know. lol I know my reviewers names and personalities by now. Oh god the Jak and Dax days, I so plan on getting back to those some day. I don't like having fics rot away and die. I'm so happy you've strayed to the AG fandom, it's so wonderul and the fans are just... INCREDIBLE and make me want to dish out fic after fic. Ah, Kitten caught your eye - she does that. Thank you for your comments and words, I've decided that I LOVE your reviews, so I hope I hear from you again.
Katt: Better and better? Try harder and harder, lol. I'm the same as you, I have this thing - I love seeing a guy like Ikki control even just slightly, a guy like Kazu. They're just a match made in heaven, don't you think? LOL I wont tell you, you have to read to find out. I love slightly submissive Kazu too. There are very few times I can see Kazu dominating and while it's rather hot, it's not as adorable.
shoxxic: I'm SO happy to see you back, you have no idea. I hope yer still around this chapter too. I miss you XD Thank you as usual for all of your wonderful, kind words. You comment on the emotions and interactions, which are things that I love to work with the most, so thank you thank you thank you! Sorry for the super long wait, tho. Did I review you yet? If I didnt, I haven't forgotten about it. It's too amazing to forget.
Nobodies Have Hearts: Thank you! One of the best? Oh you sugar sweet thing you! ohhh that part seems to be a lot of people's favorite part. Sorry for the wait.
Forgetfull: No need to feel sorry at all, I'm the one who should be sorry for taking so damn long. So I am. You just saw this? That's fine, it's not as big a deal as everyone seems to think it is, heh. Don't mean to build up your excitement only to make you wait. I don't think this chapter makes up for it, but here's hoping.
Masi: Oh love, your reviews are love. Of course you're always doting and flattering me about my fics even without a review, and for that I thank you very much dear. Your ramblings are so fun to read and oh so warming. They lift my spirits. You review very well as wel as balance it out with your own spazzy opinions, lol. Love love.
OneWhoSitsWithTheTurtles: Ahh, Simca, Shmimca, hah, as long as Ikki and Kazu follow the right path. lol a lovesick girl can be hard to get rid of but at least she plays a good role, yeah? Don't worry to hard, love, I'll make sure things work out, alright? I'll write more as much as I can while still having a life, for you, aha!
Cashala Bermuda: I.. love you too? Aww Kitten gets me so much publicity, lol, aint she amazing tho!? I'm so glad you like my writing so much that you'd devote so much time to it! Thank you, dear, really, for that. For the writing and plot comments - these things make me feel so good. Sorry for the long wait, as per usual.
IdiotProdigy: I love your pen name. WOW, what a statement - that makes me feel utterly special, you have no idea. There are so many stories out there, to be able to stand out is just.. thanks! Kitten's got everyone coming around, I've noticed. Ah and you have so much faith, it seems like. You are just too much, thanks.
AnonyMouse: I am not kidding around, a fanfiction piece NEEDS to be written under your skilled hands, please. I always look forward to your words, cuz I'm getting a lovely review and a glimpse of serious fanfic potential. You are a total doll, you make me relive my story in your review in a new light and I adore you for it. Please stick around, I'd be saddened if you left. Thank you so SO much for your faith and committment.
Neferkitty: Thank you! The next chapter? It's right here, dear. Hopefully the next one will come soon enough as well.
Misanthrope: Hi! Well thank you! Kazu's such an interesting character to write. So complex, so easy to relate to, seriously. No need to apologize, you come across just fine, dear, and omg I'm SO grateful that you'd take the time and effort to express how you feel about this story even when you are not sure about your english. Thank you SO, so much.
TotallyObsessive: Late means nothing. Thanks for taking the time to review, thats' all that matters. Aw the time you took to read thru this story is wonderful and so very appreciated. Aw, dont cut your reviews short, I love reviews, and the longer, the better XD hehe, I'll make sure Kitten knows how you feel, I'm sure she'll love to hear it. And I'll thank her for getting you to my fic, aha!
Ayer Gootarest: AWESOME! I've created another fan! It's a good day, late doesnt matter! I hope you stick around too! More to come!
Dark Yuna: Thank you, here's more for you. I love Ikki and Kazu too, or was that obvious?
xYellowCrayon-chan: Ouuu, good to hear you've been around for a while. Glad you chose to review, let me know you're around. I'ts great that the little things I put so much time into get noticed, like the cracks for instance. Aw your review is like peotry and so loved. You make me want to write more! I hope to see you again in my review box!
thetwistedqueen: Aww, thanks! Captivating is a nice word to hear. I'm actually really siked that you mentioned taking on the real writing world, as original fiction, cuz I totally planned on it. I want to be a writer, and I'm actually planning a book right now. Thanks, I'll keep it up for as long as I have the fingers to do it.
Kitten: Love You.
Sorry if anyone's name is butchered. Sometimes ffnet messes up the name if they have things like.. periods or dashes. And SO sorry if I missed anyone. 42 Review replies, there's a chance I missed one. But every last review is read and treasured. Now, Onward!
And of course, A Very Merry Christmas~
I hope every last one of you gets what you wish for.
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Air Gear
a fiction by Crimson Vixen
Spoken Word
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When morning finally dared to arrive, Ikki was in a strange sense of unexplainable peace to see that Kazu had indeed kept his word and returned before the sun had, but the crow had only just managed to catch a quick glimpse of the blonde as the boy dove into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. And Ikki was rather careless with the way he went on ahead and pressed his ear against the wood with a hand ready on the knob, indescribably soothed, or rather reassured, when he only heard the sound of running water. Kazu was merely taking a shower or something, not that Ikki knew what else he was expecting to hear from behind something as complex as a bathroom door.
Giving a firm nod to no one but himself, Ikki allowed his fingers to slide away and gracefully drop from the door's greasy handle and he peeled his ear away from the woodwork. Of course, Ikki was smart enough to know that like everyone else, Kazu needed some time to himself, and maybe on any other day the crow would have been willing to give that to him.
But the time that Kazu did take in the bathroom – since minutes turned into something much, much longer – felt lengthy. Longer than Ikki was comfortable with. Later on when he thought back on this moment he might be honest with himself and say that he was looking for a reason, an excuse, to barge into the bathroom and see the blonde with his own two eyes because it felt like such a long time. But if it was wrong or rude, well, Ikki didn't let things like that stop him in the past.
He didn't even stop to think about or bother with balling his hand into a fist to knock like any other polite, considerate person would think to do. He went ahead and slapped the door with an open palm instead, bringing his mouth close to the hinges, into the crack where the wall aligned with the door.
"What, did you drown in there?"
Ikki had the faintest hint of a smirk on his lips, which quickly died down in something akin to annoyance when he got nothing in return. When Kazu didn't throw back an answer, or perhaps never even heard the question in the first place, Ikki dropped his shoulders. He wasn't one to automatically think of the worst case scenario – because come on, what could possibly go wrong in his bathroom? – and Kazu wasn't stupid enough to actually gurgle and drown in the shower...
With luck on Ikki's side, he found that the door was unlocked.
He very carefully, so as not to startle the other boy with his intrusion, slipped inside and made sure to seal the door once he was in. And just to play it safe, though how it was safer was something Ikki couldn't answer, he locked it.
Didn't you hear me? Ikki wanted to ask. Shout. Are you deaf?
But then he caught sight of the figure in the bath, not standing under the shower head, not drowning beneath it, but sitting in the corner of the tub under the fall of the water. His head was lowered, tucked into the curve of his arms, which were lazily crossed over his bent knees. The water was pounding the back of his head and neck, streaming rivers down his back, dripping from soggy hair and pointed elbows.
The scene should have screamed pathetic, and maybe in the past that was the story Ikki would have stuck to, but if anything, Kazu seemed lyrical. Reflective. A blotch of color in a world of black and grey and a measure of utter and complete silence in a stream of white noise. But even when he didn't intend to, Kazu's appearance always had a way of screaming things words could never. A walking, complex novel. The blonde was radiating something with deep immensity; Ikki didn't need to see Kazu's eyes to know that.
Lord only knew why Ikki couldn't find it the least bit strange to stand there so easily and stare at another boy who was sitting, wet and in all his glory with his clothes haphazardly thrown into a pile by the sink. It wasn't like he didn't know what boys looked like, what Kazu looked like - not after awkwardly finding out during gym that Kazu only got dressed in the bathroom stalls because he couldn't take the other boys looking at him - and it wasn't like he was looking but it also wasn't like he wasn't tempted if only for a fraction of a second… That wasn't why he was here.
At the moment Ikki didn't even know if Kazu knew he was there; he'd taken a good two or three steps in and Kazu had yet to lift his head from his sulking position. So the crow cleared his throat. Best not to startle a boy as distracted as that. Best not to risk making him jump. Slip. Crack his skull against one of the water handles. At the sound of Ikki's voice, Kazu, as proof that he was indeed awake and at least responsive, lifted his head and gazed upwards, blue eyes blinking wide in uncertainty.
"Lot on your mind, too?" Ikki asked when their eyes locked, taking a seat on the tub's edge like it wasn't strange, twisting his torso slightly to get a better view of the speed rider from above. Kazu's hands flew to his privates on sudden impulse, doing his best to cover his more vital regions from perverted eyes and turning hot red, feeling more than a bit angered and - obviously, and not to mention justifiably - confused. What a way to make a guy feel small, staring down at him like he was nothing but an insect beneath the nozzle of pest spray. Kazu certainly expected immaturity from someone like Ikki and granted, inviting himself into the bathroom while it was occupied wasn't something he'd ever put past the crow, but instead of following his first instinct and hollering at the idiot, Kazu instead blinked at him.
There were no snide remarks. No retarded smirk worth smacking off the crow's face. No, Ikki looked rather serious, eyes somewhat clouded and dull. The widespread weight on Ikki's shoulders was starting to show in his posture and in his tired expression. It wasn't something that happened overnight, surely, for Kazu had been watching the downward spiral for days now. But Kazu still felt as if he was seeing it for the first time. Like it was a sudden, unexplainable drastic change in Ikki's behavior, or Ikki as a whole, which was unsettling. Almost like the crow had lost something. Kazu was almost tempted to remove his hands and expose himself – Yup! Here I am, I'm naked and you caught me! Har har! – in hopes of giving Ikki something smirk about, to joke about. Give him a chance to show that he still had that spark left in him somewhere.
Almost.
Ikki carefully swung his legs over the side of the tub and planted his feet, socks still in tact, into the water that was making its way towards the drain. In seconds he was kneeling, fully clothed, in the tub, in front of the other boy. Right away the water seeped into his jeans and slowly started to claim and darken his shirt. A million and ten things raced across Kazu's mind, too fast for him to really focus on any one of them, and out of all the coulda shoulda woulda's, he uttered the most obvious.
"Ikki… I'm in the shower."
"I had no idea," Ikki quipped dryly, lacking the enthusiasm Kazu was already starting to miss dearly. He scooted even closer to Kazu, ultimately causing him to shuffle further into the corner, until his back met the cold wall, all the while keeping his hands covering his privates.
…How awkward.
Then again, Ikki was someone who was always taking him by surprise.
"Dude, your clothes…"
Kazu eyed the way Ikki's shirt was starting to stick to his body, clinging to the curves and muscles in a way distracted him momentarily. His spikes were drooping, skin going slick and looking downright – Kazu hated himself for thinking it but – touchable. Ikki's face was mere inches away from his own, making it hard to breathe right or think straight, because now really wasn't the time for anything remotely confusing. Why was Ikki doing this? Here? Now?
But since when did anyone he knew have good timing?
"They're fine," Ikki said quietly. Quiet in a way Kazu never heard before. "It's just water."
Kazu swallowed. The idiot obviously didn't find this awkward at all.
The sudden expressiveness of Ikki's eyes did nothing but pressure him, and Kazu inwardly crumbled under it. They were dark brown, those eyes, deep and almost maroon in the right light. Flashed red when triggered properly. And right now they were vivid, planning nothing of cruel intention and asking nothing from him save for being a thing for him to look at.
It was that very needless gaze that brought it all back to him. He was a bad person. A bad friend. He'd left Ikki in his time of need and betrayed the trust of the person he was most loyal to. The worst part was, Ikki had no clue.
It was too much. It was now or never.
"Ikki, we need to talk."
His own heart stoppedf when he said it but Ikki just hummed something about being too tired as his lids gently closed and his head ever so slightly shook, no, no, too tired. Don't care, can't care. Kazu's furrowed his brows; he never asked the crow if he wanted to talk.
"Ikki..."
"Can't it wait?" his lips fumbled, suddenly getting closer until they were grazing along Kazu's neck like he naturally knew what felt good. Kazu's throat made a sound and his whole body involuntarily twitched away, hands reaching up to carefully grasp Ikki's head and pry him off. Kazu himself could feel the half-heartedness of his efforts to separate himself from Ikki and it took a moment for the crow's lazy eyes to flutter wide enough to meet his again.
'Pleading' wasn't really something that Ikki often displayed so candidly, so Kazu's defenses snapped like a worthless twig under a steel toed boot. He let his arms drop from Ikki's head and listned as his knuckles banged loudly against the floor of the tub. Boom-dead, just like that. Just like only Ikki could do to him. Like a bullet to his free will.
Ikki's hands were light but certain at the jut of Kazu's hip bone - how did they get down there? - sliding it down the outside of the blonde's thigh only as his lips paused to hover just over Kazu's. Kazu's mouth was hanging open slightly, riddled with words unspoken and anticipation way too heavy. Ikki was moving so fast, so certain, so brave. Kazu hardly had to do anything at all.
Kazu took in a breath and was about to release it just as Ikki closed the gap and stole a deep kiss, not even waiting for the go-ahead and somewhat swallowing the tremor of the other boy's shakey sigh.
Kazu hummed, half to stop it, half to keep it from ending, and Ikki suspended his actions momentarily before deciding he liked the vibration against his tongue. He pressed himself further against the blonde, emitting a strange whine from Kazu's nose and a deeply toned squeak of something somewhere sliding along the tub's slick surface. A heel, maybe?
Ikki suddenly moved his hands up to wrap around the other boy, mindful of the fresh marks on his arms and neck he'd clearly seen but had yet to comment on. Ones Kazu didn't have hours ago before he left the house.
Kazu closed his eyes, squeezed shut, because he remembered why he was here. To think. To get away from people who could influence his train of thought. And Ikki was ruining that for him - his mere scent made it hard to focus. Kazu kept looking upwards at the plain colored ceiling, trying to repress the swarm of memories when it tried to re-flood his thoughts.
"Ow! Let go, dammit!" he'd demanded, being whipped and tossed around like he didn't have bones that could break, skin that would tear, thrown to the concrete like it wouldn't hurt. He'd been taken by the shirt and jostled like the fabric wouldn't tear, his brains wouldn't scramble and his ears wouldn't pound to the beat of his pulse.
Kazu shuddered overtly, taking notice how it only made Ikki press his lips harder against his collar bone and scoot closer on his knees. So close that the space between them was hardly enough room for a remotely logical thought. Ikki's palms were against the back wall now, cornering the blonde in a protective cage made of nothing but himself.
"Don't worry your little head over this," he'd been told calmly, yet he hadn't been able to keep his hands from clenching, nails digging wet ruby crescents into the flesh of his palms. "You still have to give us a name."
Kazu pursed his lips, determined to keep them from separating, even when something cracked against his cheek and snapped his head to the side. Even when the inside of his mouth started to taste like pennies.
"Though something tells me you're not in the mood."
What was most upsetting wasn't that they wanted Ikki's name. What really twisted the blonde's gut was the fact that they probably didn't even need a name to find him.
When Ikki pulled back for just a few seconds, Kazu spared a glance to his palms, eying the fading marks of where his nails had dug, then curling his fingers lightly to keep them hidden. Not that Ikki would say anything anyway, since he'd been doing a marvelous job so far disregarding everything else. The perfectly aligned red mounds across his arms and back and a slightly puffed out cheek, for starters. Ikki was too busy, too fraught, too something to be bothered with anything so serious at the moment.
Can't it wait, he had asked. Of course Kazu was only too obligated to listen.
He sighed heavily and let his heavy head fall back, and hardly even winced when the back of his skull hit the wall and Ikki's mouth wrapped around the side of his neck. Ikki needed this, whatever this was. Kazu kept telling himself this as Ikki suckled at his skin.
There had been a hand around his throat, crushing his gullet like he didn't need it to breathe, pulling him to his feet like it was his own fault for falling in the first place.
"I'm not such a bad guy, really," he'd been told carefully. He didn't remember whose eyes he had been looking into, just that they were terrible to look at. "I mean, I may be willing to let this all slide, let you off the hook and let this whole mess drop."
The hope that had fluttered up Kazu's restricted throat was easily stuffed back down by his mind, well aware that these were not people to take words from at face value.
"After all, with a runner like you on our side, there's really no need…"
Compliment or insult, Kazu knew he was being lied to.
Ikki planted another kiss on his jugular, and Kazu gasped a little, which made Ikki release a small laugh, air through his nose that brushed against Kazu's wet skin. And with every following kiss, it felt like Ikki was silently pleading for answers.
Once the hand let up, he released a breath he'd been holding for way too long.
"I won't tell a soul," he offered in hopes of his freedom and Ikki's safety. Maybe if he promised to keep quiet, nothing would change. After all, it couldn't end like this. Not because of a stupid mistake like that.
Ikki pressed his mouth to Kazu's forcefully, needing that response and that attention and cutting the blonde's thoughts short. He suckled on the blonde's loose lower lip and pulled away slowly. Ikki needed this, Kazu once again reminded himself, whether it was for distraction or otherwise, even if there were other things to worry about. Even if it felt like Ikki was ignoring something important, even hurt at the same time.
And Kazu found himself sighing more and resisting less, almost going completely slack so Ikki could do as he pleased because in all honesty he didn't want to have to think about anything either. But it didn't keep him from feeling guilty; because he was supposed to be too upset and too distracted to be enjoying this so much, to be so turned on by the crow and the things he did, but here he was, breath growing heavier with each rise of his chest, each slip of wet skin on wet skin less noticeable than the last, each trail of Ikki's fingers smeared across his neck and shoulders growing needier and painfully number by the second.
He hit the ground again, much harder than last time, and much more agonizing to his tailbone, but he regained his footing fast and took a defensive step back. They were letting him go, which didn't sit right in his gut at all. Too easy. It was just too easy.
"Wh.. what did we just decide here!?"
If he was clothed or perhaps just in any other situation a boner would be so much easier to deny but when Ikki grinned against his skin and pointed it out, Kazu could only make a terrified noise and jolt to attention, covering the damn thing with both his hands and blushing something ferocious.
He was being fucked around with, but he'd run home anyway, to be anywhere else but there. Even if he would be putting Ikki in danger, he just wanted to be near the other boy. Just be near him.
Oddly, the first thing he thought to do was apologize.
"Ikki! I'm… I'm so..!"
"Relax, man. We're in the same boat," Ikki rumbled deeply, gaining just a tiny bit of shimmer in those sharp eyes, spreading his legs a little and when Kazu got the mind to squint down at the soaked denim of his best friend's jeans, saw the lump trying to break through the heavy fabric. "You sound surprised that it's happening."
At first Kazu laughed, a terribly airy, uncertain, frantically nervous and hysterical sound that quickly morphed into old fashioned heavy, irresolute breathing that sounded close to hyperventilating as Ikki grinned and dove in for a second round. Kazu's light brows shot in and up, creasing his forehead and marring his features.
This time was faster, more precise. Kazu hardly had time to keep up and…
They probably didn't need Ikki's name to find him.
He couldn't breathe at all. Under the softness of Ikki's lip, Kazu felt the crow's teeth start to nip.
After all, he was let off the hook so easy…
And Ikki was being so… and it felt so…
Can't it wait?
Kazu bit his tongue to the point of sending a salty hot sting throughout his entire mouth. Under Ikki's touch, he could hardly do a thing; Boom-dead. Just like that. Like a bullet. A speeding bullet.
Can't it wait?
Obligation only went so far.
"It can't," he finally spewed, almost desperately. Ikki looked at him with questioning eyes, blinking under the pouring water, and Kazu had to swallow before he could clarify. "It can't wait. We have to talk."
Kazu watched as something visibly faded from Ikki's features and the crow was slowly shaking his head.
"Shut up and let me have this."
...Which really threw them both way off. Up until now all Ikki had ever wanted was to know, and now that it was right there for the taking, he couldn't take it.
Kazu's mouth was open but completely dry of anything, and as hard as he tried to force a word, a sound, anything to come out, his silence remained even as Ikki enclosed his arms around him and tucked his head into the blonde's chest. He remained still for a moment, frozen in a wet embrace and tensions on high, before eventually sliding his hands to Kazu's shoulders and down his arms, dropping off at the wrists to rest them on Kazu's hips instead.
The jet stiffened. Was that some sort of apology? Ikki's hands were warm and calculating, thumb starting to move and rub at their own accord.
"Ikki," Kazu groaned, trying to push his seriousness into his tone and pushing against Ikki with slippery hands. "I haven't been honest with you."
Really, he supposed he could have gone about it another way, maybe even in another place, but regardless of how he hit the guy, the sting was sure to be the same. Ikki stiffened and froze as soon as they slipped from Kazu's frantic lips. If loose lips could sink ships, Kazu could destroy a whole barrage of them. He hated confessions because they were something you couldn't easily take back. And usually something hard to forget.
"I mean, I think… I think there's some things you should know."
The sound of running water became deafening and the air between them got thicker. Ikki pulled back and lifted his head just enough for Kazu to see the bottom edges of his eyes. In a deep, almost hushed voice, Ikki spoke with a bit of a grate to his teeth.
"Man, you really know how to kill a boner."
Kazu couldn't even find it in him to blink at the statement, too thrown back and frozen stiff – paralyzed by the tone of voice at his ear. He stuttered some incomprehensible sounds from his lips, not really aiming to form any kind of word or anything but at least trying to convey something to get Ikki to stop unsettling him.
"Ikki... S-Someone's... You're in danger. I've been... There's this other team and I..."
Ikki thinned his lips. Something clicked. Kazu stiffened and tried to rush out what he could before the guy snapped.
"I didn't tell you because I knew you'd flip your shit, man. It was for you, though! I rode with them for your sake."
It was coming out all wrong and he was messing up and he knew it and suddenly his skin turned to ice where Ikki's hands had been, because the crow pulled away to stand. The turn of his heel moaned on the slick floor of the tub before he stepped out and onto the waiting towel. He didn't even bother to dry off or clean the mess he was making.
It took Kazu several heartbeats to realized Ikki was leaving him without a word, without any more response of any kind – Ikki was like a zombie on his way to the door, which was an accurate figure of speech since he was certainly quiet as the living dead. Only when the crow was out of sight and the door clicked shut did Kazu move.
"Ikki!" That idiot. Couldn't the dolt see how important this was? "Wait!"
In a frantically clumsy scramble to get up and out to catch his moronic best friend or whatever he was now, he slipped and crashed his shoulder to the floor. With a curse he pushed to his feet; Ikki had to sit and listen. He had to.
A towel was hastily secured around his waist and a hand was just about to curl around the door handle when he froze to the sudden sound of Ikki's bare knuckled fist pounding into the door from the other side.
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Boys and girls were different. This was something that Ringo understood. How they were different, however, was beginning to be something she didn't understand. Somehow, after only a short period of time, the male gender had grown into something so very complicated – their differences went way beyond the basic idea of having different parts and inconsolable hormones. Combine that with things like free will and complex situations… well, it was like throwing a wrench in the gears of all the things – boy meets girl, boy and girl get busy and this is what their bodies do and this is how they react. Use this so you don't get pregnant… – that they taught in school.
And leave it to someone like Ikki to fabricate the most complex mix of all. Doting and staring after girls for years upon years only to suddenly switch teams just when she was ready to take things further. Ringo could quickly feel herself sinking into depression. She never in a million years thought she'd think it but, how in the world could she ever compete with a boy?
School can't prepare you for things like this. School doesn't know a damn thing about the real world.
People weren't lying when they talked about love; it really did hurt. Ironically, it hurt the most when it wasn't there to be felt back. It was like trying to play catch with someone who wasn't there. She could throw a ball as fast and as far as she could; she wasn't going to get anything back, no matter how long she left her glove open.
She couldn't get mad at Ikki for not returning her feelings, though. No matter how much she wanted to. Screaming at the boy how unfair it felt was… well, unfair.
More than anything she wanted to believe that the hand that fell softly to her shoulder a moment later was that of Ikki's. But that wasn't right; the hand was too small, too soft for it to be his. Ringo turned around, coming face to face to what she assumed to be the very next best thing.
"Hey," she managed, and Emiri offered a sympathetic smile. She sidestepped around the other girl and took a seat in the swing adjacent to her, pressing her knees together and splitting her feet on the ground to start a small swinging momentum.
"Hey," came the delayed response. "If I'm interrupting something, don't be afraid to tell me."
"No, no. I was just thinking."
"Tell me about it," Emiri mumbled knowingly, fixing her feel on the swing handles and giving herself a better push from the ground. "I'm right there with you."
Ringo was quiet, guiltily not really paying the other girl much mind. At least not until Emiri skidded her swinging to a halt and leaned forward to sneak into the other girl's field of vision. The very second Emiri opened her mouth, Ringo practically snapped to attention.
"Boys, huh?" she muttered, rolling her eyes to the heavens.
Finally, Ringo was able to look into the track runner's eyes and feel a definite connection with her. There was obvious common ground between them, a tragedy to be shared. She wasn't alone. An unnamed, hopeful feeling swelled in her already burning chest when she came to a startling sense of comfort. Emiri's hand was on her knee in a consoling manner, and maybe it was a little rash, but boys were the furthest thing from her mind.
--
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--
Ikki had to force himself to shut the door behind him so he wouldn't look back and see that inevitable hurt look in Kazu's blue eyes, that look of utter confusion and concern that buckled his knees and lodged a jagged rock in his windpipe, and he didn't want that. It was hard to ignore the whine of Kazu's feet on the tub and the splash of water as it sloshed against the wall and onto the floor and of course the sound of Kazu calling his name in a way he'd never heard before.
Striking the door with his bare knuckles had stilled the sound from the other side; Kazu had probably faltered at the easily recognizable noise before pressing weight to the door from his side. Ikki leaned his back to the barrier and slid to the floor and quickly heard Kazu do the exact same thing just opposite of him with a foreign, defeated sound.
The silence was truly that of the deafening kind as he sat in limbo with himself and how he was feeling and why, which was annoyingly difficult since sorting through feelings wasn't something the crow enjoyed doing at all, especially when he was so inexperienced with such things. Things were so strange and unfamiliar that they didn't have names. Ikki didn't have to see Kazu's lips move or see his posture hunch into itself; just hearing that voice threw his gut off of mountains.
"…Ikki?"
The pause was painful because Ikki knew he was supposed to respond but he didn't.
"Ikki."
"Way to kill a mood," the crow stated solidly, resting the back of his head to the door to look upwards.
From the other side, Kazu's brows furrowed, aggravated among countless other things. Ikki seemed to be more concerned with their moment interrupted than he was about being on someone's hit list. Only Ikki. The blonde huffed.
"I think you're missing the point," the jet countered, absentmindedly watching his hands clench and unclench. "This isn't a joke, you jerk. Someone's trying to kill your ass."
"Oh yeah? It's nice to know you've finally decided to tell me. Now, as opposed to when you first found out. What else is there, huh?"
"Ikki – "
"I'm absolutely thrilled to find that the guy I've been worrying over night and day all of the sudden decides to spill his guts, right when I was about to—"
Ikki stopped himself, face scrunched up and stubborn, and he waited for an outburst of defense of Kazu's side, but the blonde remained silent. Ikki licked his lips slowly and let his tensing shoulders fall.
"Kazu…"
"You're such an asshole," his voice was tight. "You just don't get it."
All the things I do for you. All the sacrifices I make…
The thing that kept Kazu from voicing the last part was him knowing what Ikki would respond with. Something close to, if not exactly, I never asked you to.
But that was just it. Ikki didn't have to ask. Kazu did it for other reasons; reasons that he was starting to believe would never get through the other boy's thick skull.
There was a shift from the other side; Ikki was up and moving again and Kazu was quicker to react this time. He wobbled to his feet, flung open the door and chased Ikki as he was; towel around his thin waist and still a little wet, leaving semi-foot prints in his wake until he was on the carpet. His arm was outstretched, fingers spread wide and forward as if he could really just snatch Ikki's retreating form and keep him from leaving.
But as Kazu curled his fingers in desperation, it was only air pocketed between his palm and his fingers. So he used his voice, and Ikki stopped.
"Look, I know I screwed up. You don't have to rub it in like this," Kazu half pleaded. His brows were knitted so tightly together they creased his brow. Ikki blinked, slowly at first before looking at Kazu's flushed face and desperate eyes, then looking down and to the side. His shoulders sagged, his eyes refocused, a sigh passed his lips.
Ikki made a face and before Kazu could say anything more, shook his head and grasped at Kazu's shoulders.
"Did you actually think you were doing me any favors?"
Honestly now, Ikki knew Kazu's self-sacrificing nature and loyal tendencies were strong but there had to be a line drawn somewhere. In the end it only slowly destroyed him; the blonde pretty much constantly created his own demons and refused to fight them properly.
"I do."
Kazu visibly worried on his lower lip; the answer was all too obvious. And right when they seemed to be getting somewhere, Ikki's temper picked right back up again and his hands dropped away from the blonde. And he hated himself before he did it. Before he tore his eyes away from Kazu and turned his back. And walked away.
Quickly this time, out the front door and to the streets, knowing that someone as self conscious and conservative as Kazu wouldn't even think to chase him down the street without some proper clothing, and Kazu shrunk back into the house to gather up some clothes so he could pursue the crow. He came sprinting out of the house in a short sleeved hooded sweatshirt and trousers, tugging his hat over his head as he ran. His feet pounded heavily against the ground, shoeless and AT-less and throbbing against sharp pebbles. Predictably, Kazu started yelling the other boy's name, telling him to stop, dammit, and let him talk. Isn't that what Ikki wanted?
The cool air hit his freshly soaked skin with a teasingly stimulating breath, but he pushed passed the feeling to find the other boy, who had, in the time it took him to get quickly dressed, disappeared. As if he could sense the crow, Kazu closed his eyes and smelled the air, before bursting his eyes open and sprinting to the left.
Ikki wasn't all that hard to catch up to, though. His irritated gait was strong but slow. He didn't stop either, not until Kazu was breathless at his back and tugging like a child at the hem of his shirt. The blonde already had his jaw dropped to yammer on about 'I'm sorry for this thing but listen to this other thing, and I didn't mean to do this third thing but that things important and you should also hear this last thing blah blah blah…'
But Ikki wasn't up for any of it. Maybe later, but right now, it just wasn't happening. He didn't know why he was being so difficult, just knew that he was, and he didn't know how he felt towards Kazu at the moment. He hadn't had enough time alone to place it, so he didn't really think it through before he cut the blonde off with a few words of his own.
"Just go away and leave me alone for a while," he seethed, slapping Kazu's hands away from him and taking a step back, eyes to the side and hands drilling into his pockets. "Go home."
A moment ago he could hardly keep his hands off the blonde, and now?
"Ikki, this isn't about – "
"Seriously, man? I can't even look at you right now."
That certainly shut him up. And for the first time, Kazu's legs twitched to move but he didn't want to. Kazu didn't know if he could talk anymore either, even if he wanted to, what with his throat suddenly clogging up so quick and dry.
He thought they were better than this. Was Ikki really so wound up that he couldn't find it in him to listen to something so vital because it was something he didn't want to hear? Well, Kazu swiftly figured, it was his fault Ikki was so stressed. Who did he think he was, springing it all on the crow at once, and out of all the places and all the times, because he just couldn't hold it in anymore, not even for Ikki's sake.
Ikki had already turned back around and started walking, so when Kazu turned the opposite way, the way that would lead him back home as per Ikki's preference, there was no need for him to run. It's what he settled for anyway, running as fast as he could with nothing but socks on his feet, which was still pretty darn fast but minus the burn of wind against his skin; a sensation he missed.
There was no way Kazu could even bring himself to look back as he ran, keeping his eyes focused in front of him.
Don't look back, don't look back. Focus on where you're going, concentrate on concentrating.
It had seemed so far away but Kazu eventually made it, bursting through the front door and slamming it behind him as if it were the sunlight he was escaping and not Ikki. He pressed his back and his palms against the door and took two deep but unsteady breaths before making a beeline for the stairs, only giving Sano a passing glance on his way before disappearing in the awkward comfort of Ikki's room.
The master of time stood still, letting a chilling feeling envelope his body. About a full minute passed before the stairs creaked under Sano's weight and he moved down the hallway, an airy ball of uncertainly swelling in his chest. He was here to protect these young kids, yet in his stay he'd gotten so cozy that he'd been neglecting some very important gut feelings. They were stronger now than ever before, as soon as Kazu had stepped foot into the house.
"Kazu-kun," he spoke through the door, knowing that the blonde would be there. The crow's bedroom had somehow become Kazu's safety haven. "I'm coming in."
And he did so without Kazu's consent. Inside, as expected, Kazu was on the bed, not really moping or resting or freaking out. Just sitting there. Sano closed the distance and watched Kazu lift his heavy head to peer up at him with eyes that just pleaded for him to tell the boy what to do. The brunette let his hands do what they willed and gripped the boy's face. There was nothing to gain if this child kept hiding things, keeping things to himself. Trying to fix it all without letting anyone offer him a helping hand. And it was what he was here for.
In a world where Kazu was surrounded by friends who cared for him, he looked so utterly alone.
Kazu's gasped when Sano pulled him close and at first he feared he would feel lips on his own. But instead, he felt his cheek rub against cotton. Sano was… hugging him, one hand wrapped around his upper back and the other at the base of his head.
"Wh… What the hell?"
"You were followed," Sano blurted, now holding Kazu out at arms length and meeting his wide eyes. One glance at the expression that blossomed over Kazu's paling face and there was no doubt that the boy had a pretty good idea who it was.