Chapter 9 – Mesmerizing

A few months passed and Flack was allowed to get back to work. He'd been yearning that moment for so long!

'Are you excited about going back?' asked Lily while spreading peanut butter on a piece of toast.

Flack nodded and spoke.

'Life's been too normal, I miss the crazies.'

'I thought that was one of the things you could live without,' she laughed.

'Nah,' he shook his head, 'It wouldn't be New York without it.'

'So true …' she sighed. 'By the way, you're getting rid of me this weekend.'

'I'm on call.'

'That's why I asked a friend of mine to come help me.'

'I promised to help you.'

'You're going to be exhausted by that time. Besides, I'm moving and that's that.'

'You' don't have to do it, you know?'

'And stay forever here? We'd end up hating each other. I want to get back to my place and I'm sure you don't want me here either.'

'That's not true! You can stay as long as you want; this is your place too.'

'It's really sweet of you, but you'll love it when you have the apartment all to yourself again.'

'I'll miss your cooking …' he said. I'll actually miss you. And the way you move expertly around my apartment in those skimpy clothes you sometimes wear.

'I'll miss you too. When someone asks if I'm dating, I won't be able to say I have a man waiting for me at home,' she joked. That sounded so pathetic! It shows how long I've been without one. And reinforces the idea that I'll miss him …

They both lost themselves in thought. After some minutes Lily broke the silence.

'It's not like we won't see each other ever again. You can come visit me any time. My door's always open,' she mused.

'I'll keep it in mind.'

Those were the last words spoken about the subject for the entire week. However, neither of them needed words to know how they felt. They'd miss the company and would hate the loneliness but they also knew they'd be better off alone. Or at least not with each other. Paradoxically, they needed to be together but couldn't stand the idea of living in the same confined space anymore. They needed to be together but didn't want to be with the other person; it was complicated. But when were human relationships easy?

It was already Saturday and tensions were running high in Flack's apartment.

'Don!' yelled Lily from the bedroom, 'Can you come help me?'

He smiled when he saw her fuming about the zipper of her dress.

'Here,' he said and expertly fastened it.

She sighed, less stressed now and thanked him while he left to resume the football match. Five minutes later she emerged from the bedroom dressed in a gorgeous black evening gown and carrying a black coat in her arm.

'When is she coming to get you?' asked Flack, not being able to tear his eyes from her.

'Mary's coming in ten minutes but knowing her, that'll turn into fifteen,' she answered and sat carefully in the couch next to him.

Flack rose and went to the bedroom. He returned with a blue box and without saying a word, gave it to Lily.

'What is it?'

'My Christmas present for you,' he answered simply.

'Christmas is in two months,' she told him.

'Yeah, but you got the firm's fancy party and I thought they'd be useful.'

She opened it and her face changed from surprise to confusion. She lifted her eyes to meet his and asked a silent question.

'The day when Dusby attacked you, he broke your pearl necklace. I know it was your grandma's and how much it meant to you so I thought … it's not gonna be the same, I mean, they don't have a section at Tiffany's with personal heirlooms but anyway …'

'I treasured that necklace, but when he broke it I realized that maybe I was holding too much onto the past, you know? That I should focus more on the present. I really appreciate the gesture but I can't accept it,' she spoke with a hint of sadness.

'Why not? I'm part of your present.'

'You're giving me a necklace that must have cost you a month's salary. I wouldn't accept it from a boyfriend, let alone a friend.'

'I just thought it'd be nice …'

'It's really kind, but I just can't, sorry. You should return it.'

'Can't. Already paid it.'

'I'm sure they have a great return policy …'

'Guess it wasn't good enough for you, as usual,' he said with anger in his voice.

'It was too much, actually!' she raised her voice as well.

'Sorry for caring about you.'

'And an expensive gift shows that you care? I thought love was respecting your friend's principles and beliefs.'

'You come now with your 'money isn't important' speech when you've got a closet full of designer clothes and a drawer full of expensive jewelry,' he said acidly. 'What a hypocrite!'

'I bought those things for myself, because I love them but I'd never ask or expect anyone to buy them as a present. Especially someone who doesn't earn that much money.'

'Oh, so it's because I'm poor? What a relief! And they say rich people aren't thoughtful,' he said with sarcasm dripping from his voice.

'I'm not rich, what I have, I've it earned by working 24/7. You know where I come from and that sometimes when I was a kid we didn't have enough money. So don't come telling me I'm condescending just because I'm doing what you should be doing: controlling your money.'

'What if I wanted to spend it on you? What if I didn't mind?'

'Then I think you're very stupid because, honestly, I'm not worth it.'

'Shouldn't I be the judge of that?' he asked, his voice dropping a few decibels.

'No, it's my call. I can't let you waste your money on me, you mean too much to me to do it,' she said softly and at the verge of tears.

'I wanted to give the pearls to you because you also mean too much to me. I worked longer shifts to buy it, knowing that it would be worth it if you put the necklace on at least tonight,' he said softly too.

'I can't do it, sorry. It's against my principles …'

'You and your damn principles!' Flack interrupted her with a yell, 'Why can't you leave them aside?'

'For too many years my principles and my dreams were the only things I had, so I'm not going to forsake them on a whim of yours,' she said angrily.

Lily was either going to slap him or leave the apartment when Mary rang the doorbell. Perfect timing. Lily grabbed her things and left the apartment without saying a word.

'What happened?' said the blonde.

'Don't want to talk about it.'

'Okay, you're looking nice tonight. I'm sure Martin from 'Family Issues' won't be able to take his eyes off you.'

'Mary, I'm not in the mood …'

'We're going to a party!' said Lily's friend, 'I know it's business and everything but that doesn't mean you can't have fun.'

'Mary, sweetheart, your idea of fun is dancing on top of a table after way too many drinks and going home with someone you've just met.'

'And your idea of fun is reading a book on a Friday night. Soo boring!'

'At least it's safe.'

'That's one of your biggest problems: you hardly ever let yourself go. You want to play so safe that you end up not playing at all,' said Mary softly.

'I know that I'm a failure, I've known it for a long time. But it's just too late to mend things …' said Lily with a sigh.

'No, it's not! It can never be too late to act.'

'I'm 28 and I haven't dated for two years. It clearly means I'm never going to find the right guy.'

'You should try, need to be more open. Next time Martin or someone else flirts with you, flirt back,' advised the blonde woman.

Both women entered the room where the party was starting and they separated; Lily went to greet clients and colleagues while Mary joined the secretaries gossiping at a table.

After talking with a few clients for some time, Lily went to the bar for a drink.

'What can I get you, miss?' asked the bartender.

'She'll probably ask for a glass of water,' said Martin Banks, a tall brown haired man with a winning smile.

'You know me too well, but tonight I'm in the mood for a Cosmopolitan,' she answered with a smile.

Martin laughed and she gave him a look that made the man explain himself.

'It's a total chick drink.'

'That's weird! Last time I checked I was a woman. So why would that be uncommon behavior?'

'Oh, I'm sure every man in this room has noticed that, you're beautiful tonight. But you're not a common woman. I expected something stronger, just like you,' he said and blushed.

'Thanks, I guess. But I don't usually drink, so after one and a half of these I get really dizzy,' she tried to hide her blush from his previous comment by taking her drink and sipping it.

Martin took a sip of his drink and Lily gave him an amused look.

'What?' he asked curiously.

'You're drinking whisky,' she stated.

'I don't follow.'

'It's an old man's drink,' she explained and laughed.

'Hey!' said Martin in mock hurt, 'I'm thirty, I'm not that old. You're two years younger than me, it's not a big difference.'

'I didn't say I was the youngest person here,' she paused and saw the room was full of men in their mid-fifties, 'Okay, so maybe I am, but anyway …'

'Dance with me,' he asked before finishing his drink.

'No thanks,' she declined politely.

'Why not?'

'I don't like dancing, I'm really clumsy,' she blushed.

'If you walk in five inch heels gracefully you can't be clumsy.'

'Oh, but I am. Besides, who said I walk gracefully in heels?'

'Nobody said it, but I've seen you. C'mon, just one song.'

'Sorry, but I've been asked to dance so many times in the firm's parties and I never did, saying I hate it. It just wouldn't be fair.'

'Who cares? It'll show them that you're human and that you only choose the best dancer in this place to accompany you.'

'And obviously, it would be you.'

'Exactly,' he said with a smug grin and took her hand, leading her to the dance floor.

When the song ended Lily joined Mary at a table with a big grin plastered on her face.

'I see you took my advice,' said Mary.

'I needed a huge pick me up after my fight with Don and since chocolate and movies were out of the question …'

'Here comes the stud,' said Mary with a sing-song voice before getting up for a drink.

Martin handed her a glass of water and they talked for a bit before she spotted a huge client and went to greet him, Martin a few steps behind her.

'Lily, you look wonderful, dear,' said the old man.

'Thanks Mr. Lockhart, you look good too.'

'And who's this gentleman?'

'He's Martin Banks, a colleague at the firm. He handled your divorce.'

'Nice to meet you, boy. You're one lucky chap, getting to dance with the most beautiful woman in the room.'

'I am, sir.'

Lily rolled her eyes and blushed. She hated it when people lied just to be nice.

The party was ending and Lily and Mary were leaving. The former was putting her coat on when Martin came to say goodnight.

'I had fun tonight,' he said softly.

'Me too.'

'I was thinking, well, maybe we could go to dinner sometime?'

'I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a good idea.'

'Oh, okay. I'll see you around, then.' He kissed her on the cheek. 'You're really beautiful tonight.'

She sighed and watched him leave.

'Should have said yes,' Mary reprimanded her.

'It just wasn't right, I'd be leading him on. He's cute but that's it.'

'Yeah, I forgot you like men that make you suffer.'

'Not true!'

'Ever since high school. Paul, John, Henry, Flack …'

'I don't like Don in a romantic way!'

'You keep telling yourself that.'

While she was heading to the party, Flack was nursing a beer as he thought about his relationship with Lily. She had been a constant help the last months when he was recovering from the blast. And he had taken his frustrations out on her a few times but even if some tears had threatened to fall, she never left his side. She understood how hard it was for him to depend on someone, especially someone so close to him.

'It's okay if you're still mad at me, but I made you a promise and I'm going to keep it,' she had said after one of the fights. 'It's time to take off the bandages.'

Until then, Flack had taken care of dressing his chest wound. He let Lily do the other ones but the chest wound was out of bounds. Sometimes it impressed him to see it and Flack didn't want to subject his friend to such an ugly sight. She had respected his wishes as long as she could take off the bandage when it was ready. That time had come.

He took off his shirt and Lily slowly peeled off the gauze. She threw it away and still with slow motions ran her fingers down his scar. Flack shivered under her touch and closed his eyes. He hated that horrible scar and was afraid she'd be disgusted by it too. But she didn't flinch and kept running her fingers down it until she asked softly if it hurt.

Flack shook his head, unable to mutter a word when she was touching him, making him feel like a man who could attract a woman again. And he couldn't help but notice how tender her skin was and how close their bodies were. And when the distance between them had grown and he had his shirt back on, she proceeded to tell him how he shouldn't be ashamed of his scar and that lot of people had them too (she included). Then Flack asked how she had gotten it and found out Lily had been bitten by her neighbor's dog when she was a child (that's why I don't have pets). The logical question followed: 'Why haven't I seen it before? Where is it?' So she put two fingers over a spot an inch from her left hip.

Back in the present, Flack wondered why this fight had been different. They were both stressed out but it was usual and they knew how to handle it. No, something had changed. Maybe it had something to do with the physical attraction he was feeling towards his friend. And he was certain (based on many years as a cop and even more dating women) that she felt it too.

Exhausted, he went to bed. His shift started at two a.m. but he wanted to get there at midnight to do some paperwork. And avoid Lily. How weird would it be after his realization that they were attracted to each other to see her again? Plus, he'd always been bad for apologies.

A few hours later she finished packing and left the apartment she had shared with Don, wondering if she'd ever return and if her relationship with Flack would ever mend. The message was clear: he didn't want to see her. She would respect his wishes, even if she wanted so bad to know what she had done to make him that upset.

It was one of those times when our condition as human beings plays tricks on ourselves. They wanted to fix things but they couldn't. They rationalized so much that they stopped reasoning. So they missed what was right in front of them: tensions were running high and they took it out on each other but the truth was, their friendship simply meant too much to them.

Here's chapter nine. For comments, suggestions and whatnot send a review.

Special thanks to my beta sparkyCSI who is hiding her true identity: Flash Gordon.

LaUrIsHa-just me