She climbed up the narrow flight of stairs, the overhead light flickering above her head as she concentrated on not missing her step. She passed by the banged up doors, hearing muffled sounds of people arguing, or blaring television sets or children screaming as she turned the corners on every floor, feeling relieved as she started the last flight.
She stopped suddenly, seeing him sitting on the top of the stairs, his expression tired but calm.
They stared at each other for what seemed like a good couple of seconds, the eerie atmosphere of the dark stairway enveloping them.
She took a deep breath readying herself for another conversation that would probably end futile or with the two of them resolving their frustration toward each other and the world through mindless sex.
He stood up without saying a word moving to the side giving her room to open the door leading to her apartment.
She dug into her pocket, fishing out the keys and then moving to open the several locks on the door.
She pushed her weight against the door, that opened with a slight creak and walked inside as he followed behind, shutting the door.
She threw her coat off and sat in the armchair in the middle of the small living room looking up at him.
She mused over the fact how out of place he looked there, in that beat up, cramped apartment of hers that she found to start a new life in, one that was provided for by her and not her boyfriend or parents or grandparents.
She studied his face for a second, that managed to stay smooth and calm despite all the pain and hurt she knew he suffered through growing up and finding himself. Her eyes wandered over his body, toned and strong, yet still slender, clad in his usual Sunday uniform of jeans and a shirt, with his signature leather jacket to guard him from the unusually early cold outside. Her eyes travelled down to his hands and he noticed the bruise.
"What happened to your hand?" she got up absent minded, walking over to him with concern in her eyes, taking his hand into her own as she studied the several cuts on the back of his hand.
He pulled away from her and she looked up, remembering the solemn mood.
"I'm not going to do this anymore" he said, speaking for the first time and the tone of his voice shocked her. It was low, quiet, indifferent.
"I came to tell you that" he continued.
"I'm sorry, I am" she cut him off, repeating the sentiment she left on his mirror "but last night didn't change anything... I woke up and it's not all suddenly fixed" she rambled, her voice feverish.
"Stop making it seem like it was something I did, Rory" he groaned.
"It isn't! It isn't. That's the thing. I wish I had a reason for how I feel, but I don't. All I know is that we sink back into our routine and I wake up the next day and it feels like I am drowning, like I tried to forget that it all wasn't right, but then I realize that it isn't..." she went on, her eyes darting from one spot to another.
"Stop it" he yelled at her frustrated, his hands going up to rub his eyes and she gasped, taken aback by his sudden burst of anger.
"I am sick of this, Rory. I am sick of trying to understand" he went on, his voice suddenly calmer, his tone back to being indifferent.
"That's what I came to tell you" he said, his eyes focusing on hers "I am done"
She stared at him, the finality of his words sending a chill down her spine.
He took a step back, his expression faltering for a second, his eyes watering up for the briefest moment.
"I am not going to come here anymore" he said turning around to walk the short distance to the door "and I don't want you to come to me anymore either" he said stopping for a second before he turned the doorknob and walked out of the small apartment shutting the door behind him.
She stared at the door, not able to move, her heart beating wildly in her chest. It was like a dream, the last couple of minutes and she squeezed her eyes shut trying to wake herself.
She didn't. She opened her eyes to the same room, the same feeling of guilt and hurt and anger.
She slumped back down into the armchair and sighed.
She wanted to scream, but the last sane thought in her head told her he would probably still hear, two floors down as he descended the stairs.
She couldn't really tell where the anger came from. She was angry at herself, feeling guilty for not knowing what she wanted, for going back and forth and creating a mess in her own life and everyone else's, that was a given. But there was something else. She was angry at him... for not fighting.
She scoffed, feeling stupid, realizing she had no right to feel that way.
He tried, god knows the poor bastard had.
She leaned back in her chair and stared at the ceiling, her anger not dissolving, despite the rationale.
And the tears slowly rolled down her cheeks.
She closed her eyes, biting back the sobs as her feelings no longer respected her will to stay calm and put together.
How dare he? How dare he give up on her?
Even if she was delirious and stupid and selfish and rude and messed up.
How dare he give up on her?
She reached for the first thing her hands could find and moments later the ugly crystal vase of a past Christmas shattered on the front door, the crashing sounds followed by her sobs finally breaking from deep within.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Lorelai got out of her Jeep and stared at Rory's car in their driveway.
She smiled brightly, but immediately narrowed her eyes, pondering what could have brought her busy daughter here from the city on a Sunday evening. She walked up the lawn, kicking away the children's toys scattered on the grass.
She opened the front door to find the living room empty.
"I'm hoooome" she yelled in a sing-song voice as she took off her coat, and headed towards the kitchen.
She was greeted by the sight of her husband trying to feed their baby boy something very orange as Rory looked on horrified.
"Oh my god" she deadpanned "what is that?!"
"I think it's snails with orange dye" Rory replied not missing a beat, staring at Luke trying to feed the baby.
"I think it's play dough" Lorelai countered.
Luke groaned.
"Will you two stop it. It's carrots" he said as he tried to maneuver the spoon into the baby's mouth.
"Carrots, carrots" Lorelai repeated the word thoughtfully "have you ever heard of such things?"
"It must be some new genetically engineered stuff. The things they come up with, amazing" Rory replied in mock seriousness and laughed as the baby slapped the spoon away, effectively covering Luke in the orange goo.
"That's my boy!" Lorelai exclaimed pulling the giggling baby out of his chair "I am so proud of you, David!"
Luke sighed, wiping his face with a towel.
"He's going to have to eat something proper, Lorelai" he said.
"Exactly, pop-tarts" she teased as he rolled his eyes.
"What are you doing here?" she turned to Rory.
"Visiting" she said not meeting her eyes.
"Visiting?" Lorelai asked, narrowing her eyes "On a Sunday night?" she asked "Sunday being the day before Monday, when you will have to go to work" she went on, her tone cynical.
Rory sighed.
"To your desk at the New York Times" Lorelai continued "The paper you pretty much live at"
"What, I can't come to visit?" she snapped.
"No, you can most certainly come visit" she laughed "but I doubt it's just to see your beautiful family"
"I had an afternoon off and I thought I would drive down here to see you guys" she said taking her brother from her mother's arm.
"It's a two hour drive, Rory" Lorelai said, her voice more quiet.
Rory looked at her, her face frustrated as Luke looked up from his cleaning, sensing the tension.
"Why don't I take David upstairs to clean up?" he asked and took the baby from Rory, who sat down in a huff.
"You wanna tell me what's going on?" Lorelai asked sitting down by the table across form Rory.
"Nothing, mom, nothing's going on. Can't I just come and see you guys?" she snapped again.
Her mother eyed her suspiciously.
Rory shuffled in her chair under the intense stare, avoiding her mother's eyes.
"I called you last night and Tristan picked up. You still wanna stick to the nothing is up story?" Lorelai asked, raising an eyebrow.
Rory sighed, burying her face in her hands. She had forgotten about that call.
"God" she sighed.
"You went to see him again?" Lorelai asked quietly.
"I slept with him again" Rory replied and her mother cringed.
"Euphemism kid, get one" she groaned.
Rory stared at the table in front of them.
"I take it it's not all fun and games being back with him?" Lorelai probed.
"I split in the morning and he got so mad he said he never wanted to see me again" Rory stated matter of factly.
"Ouch" her mother said, her hand patting the back of hers "I'm sorry"
"God mom, I am so screwed up" she broke down, once again burying her face in her hands "what the hell was I thinking?"
"Going there? Or leaving?" Lorelai asked, trying to understand.
Rory looked up sighing.
"Rory, I am on your side here, but I am not exactly following. You come home one day and you announce you broke it off with him because you feel trapped and unhappy and you want a real chance at being happy and finding your own life. Then six months later I find out, from my mother no less, that you've been seeing him all along"
"I haven't been seeing him" she frowned.
"This is the euphemism I've been talking about" Lorelai said.
"Right" Rory mouthed getting back to her favorite spot on the table.
"Rory, honey, you have to decide what you want" Lorelai said, her voice pleading "If there was a real reason for you leaving, than stick to that. Just because you feel lonely and weak, it's no reason to go back to him and lead him on"
"Well I couldn't if I wanted to" she sighed "he doesn't want to see me anymore"
Her mother eyed her worried.
"I doubt he meant it" she replied.
"He did" Rory sighed stubbornly "I've never seen him so cold" she mumbled.
"He was hurt" Lorelai offered.
"He said he was done with me" she frowned.
"If I had a penny for every time I heard that, kid" Lorelai sighed tucking a loose strand of Rory's hair behind her ears.
"You decide what you want, okay?" she said as she watched Rory's eyes become teary "you go and decide and then let the rest of us know, okay?"
Rory nodded as the tears rolled down her face.
"I was driving here, you know" she started, her voice weak and wavering "and I couldn't stop thinking about the day he proposed"
"You never told me about that" she whispered with a wry smile.
"Yeah, well I left him the morning after, so there was other things to discuss" she sobbed bitterly.
Lorleai sighed as she wiped her daughter's tears.
"So how did he? Ask you?" Lorelai asked.
Rory smiled a halfhearted smile.
"I was walking home from work and he called me on my cell" she said, remembering that day last April.
Her phone rang and she scrambled to get it out of her bag.
"Hello?" she said, balancing a stack of folders in one hand and her bag in the other.
"Hey gorgeous" she heard his warm greeting and smiled instantly "what are you up to?"
"I'm done for today, heading home" she replied managing to rearrange all of her stuff securely, so she could resume walking on the busy New York sidewalk.
"Yeah? Where are you at?" he asked, his voice nonchalant.
"I am at..." she looked around, checking the signs on the corner and she smiled realizing where she was "I'm at 61st and Madison" she chuckled.
"Hmmm. Funny, so am I" he replied and she gasped as she stopped walking, looking around. His blue eyes caught her own as she saw him standing across the street looking at her, his cell phone attached to his ear.
"Wanna do a reenactment?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips and she laughed wholeheartedly.
"Sure" she replied into her cell, laughing as he proceeded to hail down a cab.
She watched as a yellow car pulled up in front of him and her eyes focused on something small and black on top of it.
"Hmmm, this is interesting" he said into his cell and she watched as he took the box off the top of the cab.
"What is it?" she asked, squinting her eyes to see better.
She watched him open the box and turn it towards her and although she couldn't make out what it was, the spring sunshine sent a sparkly flash her way as it reflected off of the content of the small jewelry box.
"Looks like an engagement ring" he said, his voice warm and low.
She gasped as she stared, frozen in her spot, watching as he looked around carefully, before crossing the street.
"That's not how it happened at all" she mumbled, her heart racing as he slowly came to stop in front of her.
"Improvisation" he offered, still talking into the phone even though they were standing mere inches away from each other "it's my forte" he said, smirk in place and her eyes crept down to the small box he was holding, with the platinum diamond ring sparkling brightly inside.
"I gotta hang up now, there is something I gotta do" he chuckled as he flipped his phone shut, putting it away into his pocket.
Her mouth went dry as he looked back up into his eyes.
"Rory Gilmore" he started and she took a shallow breath, closing her eyes in anticipation "would you be willing to be running into me on this corner for the rest of our lives?" he asked her, his eyes sparkling as he looked at her.
The tension broke from her chest in a form of a small chuckle and she smiled at him, her minds racing with thoughts about how he managed to orchestrate all of this.
"Yes" she whispered and he laughed, taking her into his arms and kissing her hungrily.
She finished telling the story, a small smile playing on her lips as her mother watched her quietly.
"Wow" Lorelai said "that's... that's original"
"It was perfect" Rory replied, her voice becoming solemn again.
"So why can't it always feel like that?" she asked her mother as the tears once again started to fall.
"Aww, honey" her mother caressed her face "it's not going to always feel like that. It can't. But if you have that, even just every now and then, it's a feeling worth fighting for" she whispered.
Rory closed her eyes as her emotions took over, the tears finally falling freely as her mother pulled her into a strong hug.