"Too late today, for the sky to open.
No living place lay here for the sky to fall.
No one remembers when the wheel was broken,
Made a rut so deep, made a massive hole."
- Emily Haines, "Pretty Head"
(Welcome to South Carolina. Smiling Faces, Beautiful Places.)
They switch driving duties under the watchful gaze of the South of the Border neon giant. They've only been down this far one other time together ("together": their code for this life they're living now), but obviously this time, they don't give a flying fuck about ridiculous sombreros and plastic sunglasses and theme restaurants. Juliet sinks into the passenger seat. Props her elbow against the doorframe and closes her eyes. James wonders what she's thinking, wonders exactly what in the hell he's even supposed to be saying.
The first thing on his brain is to make some kind of joke, like it'll all be OK because they're going to invent bottled water, and he stays silent because this isn't exactly the time for jokes, whether or not they're at this joyously tacky tourist trap.
But Juliet suddenly reaches over and shoves a Fleetwood Mac cassette into the tape deck, so he just turns the key in the ignition and that's that.
Goddamn but he still wonders what the hell they'd been thinking, settling down where it's only a day or two's drive to the places they've technically been trying to avoid all these years, but at the same time, it was no accident.
They'd been led handcuffed into that goddamn sub like a couple of no-good prisoners with shivs up their sleeves, no more questions, no more excuses, after five fucking minutes to grab a fraction of whatever they'd accumulated in three years. No chance to say goodbye to Miles or Jin, no chance for James to get the ring hidden under the floorboards. And definitely no chance to figure out what the fuck Jackass and the rest of 'em exactly thought they were getting themselves up to, out there in the jungle. James had drawn the map for that fat balding fuck Radzinsky, but Kate? Well, seems like they couldn't catch her. Hey, that girl always could run. All she could do, most of the time.
So James and Juliet had drunk their juice, passed out with blood still on their faces, and then the two of them were being shaken awake by a very awkwardly apologetic representative from Ann Arbor. And it wasn't like these people had any authority in the real world.
(Welcome. We're Glad Georgia's on Your Mind.)
Turns out, the matter had gone all the way up to the DeGroots, who couldn't quite understand the wave of paranoia that had swept through the island settlement when it came to some very obvious Hostile intruders - who were clearly not involved with Jim LaFleur or Juliet Burke. Nonetheless, they were being let go from the company, but hey, there was a parting settlement, and could they just please sign these documents regarding confidentiality... oh, and they weren't planning to sue the Initiative, right?
Sign on the dotted line, Dharma hands over a bunch of money? James and Juliet had shot each other incredulous looks, signed just about as fast as they could, got a check, got an apartment in Ann Arbor, and...?
See, this was the part they hadn't planned out. Those first few weeks they ended up basically nocturnal. Reading, talking, drinking too much. Fucking each others' brains out. And trying some way, any way, to figure out exactly what kind of life they were supposed to be making for themselves now. No Miles, no Jin, no friends, no house, no jobs. No goddamn island and definitely no way of ever figuring out how the hell to get home (home? She was his home. And if she was his home, then what was her home? Was it with him? Would she always be trying to find a way back? Maybe it was good he hadn't been able to propose. Maybe it was good that damned ring was just sitting under the floorboards, gathering dust.)
And so they'd usually fall asleep just as the first light of dawn started creeping in, through those tiny, dirty windows that granted them a lovely view of an alley behind a pizza place. They never really brought up Rachel, or Julian, or Clementine.
After about a month, with some of the money from Dharma they bought a VW van of their very own, just started driving. At night they'd get fancy hotel suites, cheap motel rooms, camp out in the back of the van. Whatever they felt like doing.
They saw a lot of concerts. Stuff their younger selves would have given their right arms or a year's allowance to see. Iggy Pop. Bob Seger. Fleetwood Mac. The Clash. Rachel had loved The Kinks; James and Juliet saw them twice. Hippie times weren't what they used to be, and London punk was heading right on over the damn pond.
But most of all: They had no fucking clue what the hell they were doing. James couldn't figure out whether they were happy or sad. Couldn't figure out whether they were supposed to be happy or sad.
They were at a Led Zeppelin show in Tempe, Arizona when James looked over to see Juliet's shoulders shaking. Fear washed over him - was one of them finally losing their shit? Were they wasting their time, did she want to figure out how to get back to the island, did she want to find her family? Did she regret this entire insane thing, and which step along the way had finally convinced her of that fact?
Except when she looked up at him, her face was full of laughter. "We just - can you believe - " She cut herself off, flinging a hand at the stage. "I just want the Smiths to form so we can go see them already!" Juliet dissolved into giggles. Oh yeah, they were definitely losing their shit, but then James was laughing too, and not long after that, they steered their hippie van right back to that crappy apartment in Ann Arbor.
Turns out, Dharma had expelled their two little buddies in the meantime.
Apparently Jackass had decided to throw some damn hydrogen bomb into the drilling site at the Swan, Kate went after him, who knows, but all hell had broken loose, although the damn bomb didn't detonate on impact. No, apparently it had started pulling everything metal into the hole, then there was a flash of white light and their Oceanic 815 pals vanished. Miles and Jin weren't anywhere near the site when it had happened, but the vague suspicion cast over LaFleur & Co. was enough to grant them a couple of one-way tickets on Drugged-Up Sub, too.
(Welcome to Florida, the Sunshine State.)
Half an hour south of Jacksonville, James realizes Juliet's fallen asleep, the side of her face pressed against the window. He slides a hand over her knee. "Baby, we got some directions in the glove box."
Juliet hums sleepily, reaching out blindly for the latch before opening her eyes. "Here?" she mumbles, blinking sleep out of her eyes, unfolding the papers.
"Those're the ones."
"Um..." She rubs at her face and yawns, glancing at the dashboard clock - 7 p.m. "Wh-where are we?"
"Not too far from St. Augustine. What exit we want?"
Juliet throws him a curious look before glancing down at the page in front of her. "311. What are we...?"
"Thought I'd work somethin' out a little nice for tonight."
St. Augustine is a crazy town, he's never been before, but they roll right on through town and he can't help gaping at the architecture, which is supposedly Colonial Spanish but just looks tall and spiky and gothic. Their hotel is right on the Intracoastal, and once they're up in their big quiet room with no Micromachines or Legos in sight, Juliet turns to him and gives him the kind of smile he hasn't seen from her in at least a few days. "This is perfect, James. Thank you."
"You wanna call the kids and then go out an' explore some? Get some dinner?"
Juliet's eyes go wide, although he knows her well enough to know it's all an act. "Are you asking me out on a date?"
"Unless you'll put out first, then yeah."
"Romantic. Very, very romantic."
They have the kind of night he thinks he'll want to remember for years, dinner under a leafy canopy of palm trees... although it's not like they haven't seen enough of those already to last them a lifetime. But still. It's fucking beautiful. And afterward, they actually take a walk on the beach at twilight, like they're in some kind of postcard (the kind appealing to time-travelers who ditched their kids for a few days, to attend the high school graduation of someone who's actually supposed to be 48 years old).
Juliet's got her bare feet in the water, wearing a fluttery white skirt. The heels of her shoes are hooked over the first two fingers of her right hand, and her hair is sort of wild and blowing all over the place, and goddammit, she looks so fucking gorgeous in this changing light and he would give anything to take that lingering pain away.
Clementine, well, somewhere out there she's 15, and he's never gonna know what he missed with her. And then in another way, he knows exactly what he's missed with her, watching his boys grow. And Clementine herself will probably think she'd dodged a bullet, anyway, considering whatever the hell Cassidy's told her all these years.
Maybe it's all better this way, except for this empty need somewhere inside Juliet, something they don't talk a whole hell of a lot about anymore. And he wonders if they're not bringing more trouble onto themselves this way (and what if they change something? Except that's not possible, right? Jules is always so sure of it, doesn't understand why sometimes he freaks that something will change and the kids will disappear or something equally mindbendingly awful).
He decides to take a risk, catching her free hand in his. "Tell me what's goin' on with the Carlsons in 1986."
Someone in her face changes again, that radiant look dimming, and James mentally kicks himself for fucking up this moment as Juliet lets out a long breath. She chews on her lower lip for a moment before pulling at his hand, and they start walking again.
"My... my parents were spending a lot of time together. It was really freaking us out. Me and - and Rachel. We were really worried they were actually going to get back together."
"You didn't want that?"
Juliet shakes her head. "Not anymore. It wouldn't have lasted, anyway. Let's see. Rachel's going to win some big arts award at graduation. I can't remember the name of it, but they gave her a bunch of money for college. This... this weekend my mom's going to try to ground her because she's going to stay out all night and there's going to be a huge fight."
"An' you?"
"Oh, god. Well, you know. I was... I was a nerd. I went to the science and tech high school and I was the coolest one there, so what does that tell you about my social life?" She rolls her eyes. "Oh. And Rachel had been hinting around to our parents for this bracelet for graduation. Of course they were oblivious. As usual. And they were chipping in to get her all this fancy luggage, which I knew she was going to use only about twice. Which turned out to be the case. So I..." Her face crumples for a second before she regains her composure. "I took most of the money I'd saved from baby-sitting, and I got the damn bracelet for her. And I was so excited to give it to her at graduation and then - then I lost it. I spent half the day worrying about it, and then it turned out I'd just left it in my mom's car." She shakes her head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "God, and we had this awkward lunch with both our parents, and I kept freaking out about her present, and Rachel kept wanting to leave so she could meet up with her friends and..." Juliet shakes her head again.
James laughs softly. He can't exactly imagine this form of Juliet, shy and anxious.
Except now she fiddles with strap on one of the shoes in her hand, looking every bit shy and anxious. "I'm not sure why exactly I want to do that day over again."
"'Cause you know exactly where and when everyone's gonna be."
She lets go of the shoe and curls her fingers around his again. "I didn't think I was going to be so nervous about all of this."
"Y'know, we could just blow off the whole damn thing. Go to Disney World instead. Whaddya say, we can sneak upstairs, do it in the Cinderella castle?"
"Maybe on the way back." Juliet tries - unsuccessfully - to hide a grin. Turns out Other training wears off after a decade or so.
That night they have the kind of sex had by people who don't have to worry about kids down the hall. Other hotel guests, maybe, but it's like the uncertainty dissipates, at least for the time being, and he's pretty sure he's gonna have clawmarks on his back. Which actually makes him pretty damn happy, all things considered.
Afterward Juliet tucks herself against his front, her damp back sticking to his chest, and he tightens his arms around her.
"I wish I could talk to her," Juliet whispers suddenly. "I wish the kids could know her. I wish you..."
James feels an unexpected lump in his throat, that old insecurity rolling through him, and would she change things if she could? Instead he swallows heavily and presses a kiss to the back of her head. "I know, baby. I know."
"James. What if... what if I... I mean, what if I just...?"
"You ain't gonna talk to her," he whispers, trying to convince himself. "Whatever happened, happened."
Her voice is almost silent, choked with tears. "What if I can't help myself?"
"Juliet. Listen ta me. I know you. And you're gonna do great." He pulls her closer, burying his face in her hair. Please please please don't try, baby. Please. Whatever happened, happened. "You sleepy?"
"Mmm."
"Let's go to sleep, OK? It'll be better in the mornin'."
She waits long enough that he's almost asleep when he hears it, and even then it's quieter than something that could even be considered a whisper. "What if it's not?"
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