Disclaimer: I don't own, wish I did though, that'd be amazing.

AN: God this took forever to finish. It was originally absolute trash but I made it better I think, romantic, dramatic with added humour, next part is not even started yet so it might be a while before it's up, but I've got a cold so maybe not, I have a lot of time on my hands, enjoy.

As they reached the pinnacle of the mountain there was the alter where they were supposed to be wed, the Doctor and the Master looked at each other, the Doctor looked at Titorian.

"One moment with my bride here please."

"Of course Doctor."

The Doctor pulled the Master away from the crowd of royal officials.

"I've got a plan Master. We'll go through this as normal, then when I suppose they have vows..."

"I dunno, ask."

"Titorian. Do you have vows in your ceremony?"

"Yes."

"Good. Good."

The two Time Lords looked at each other.

"Alright Master here's the plan, they can't complete the wedding without both of us there, you do a runner alright, take this. This is the key to the TARDIS, she should come to you remotely if you have it, once you're inside bring her here and then I'll run for it and join you. Deal?"

"Yeah."

The Doctor turned to Titorian.

"We're ready."

"Great, if you'll take your places."

They were led to the alter where Titorian took his place behind it, a guard came up to both the Master and the Doctor and put a chain around their ankles which was secured to the rock.

"What are you doing to us?"

"Chaining you, you both look nervous. We don't want you running out on each other now do we?"

"Rassilon forbid." The Master muttered sarcastically.

The Master tugged at the chain, he looked at the Doctor. The Doctor moved forward and hugged him, whispering in his ear.

"It'll be alright, we can always divorce."

"It's not that. If I ever wanted to get married I would have liked a Gallifreyan wedding."

"I know. Me too."

The ceremony started, it wasn't a joining of the minds which the two Time Lords were thankful for, the principle was the same as a human wedding, just promises to one another.

"We are gathered at this sacred pinnacle to witness the joining of these two Gallifreyans, they have chosen to marry in our presence and we are greatly humbled by their choice. May the ceremony commence."

Titorian gestured to a guard, he bowed and brought a book, by the looks of it an ancient and powerful one.

"Will you explain this." The Master asked, and with a hint of command in his voice.

"The bride will be silent."

The Master silenced himself, the Doctor thought this was unusual for the Master and noticed with a nervous mind that the exchange of vows had begun.

They were read in the traditional language and answered in Gallifreyan, they hadn't intended to answer in Gallifreyan, but they both quickly figured out that they were speaking English but the book before them was translating according to their species, now that was a problem, having their responses spoken in their home language made their forced marriage by Gallifreyan law, unbreakable.

Once the Doctor finished his vows they were asked to join, the Doctor turned to Titorian, he just smiled at the Time Lord.

"Can't we just kiss?"

"No."

"Ah, well...umm...we Gallifreyans can't...it's Impossible for us to join in that manner...umm...in public, yeah that's it, we can't, we have to have privacy, but we can use that chalet you let us stay in, you can post guards to make sure we don't leave."

Titorian bowed his head "Very well, but you must join at least one part of you at the altar now, so as you called it you may kiss."

The Master closed his eyes, he'd let the Doctor move forward, he wasn't sure he had it in him to make the first move anyway, he'd just married the Doctor forcibly, sure he'd thought about marrying the Doctor, lots of times in fact but neither of them were chained and it was on his terms, and he certainly wasn't the bride.

The Doctor leant forward and kissed the Master firmly on the lips so everyone could see that he'd done it and not just faked it, he was a little shocked when he heard the Master sigh in what seemed like contentment, he let that go over his head though, when he pulled away after a few seconds their ankles were released.

The newlyweds were taken back down the mountain in the carriage they were taken in, the Doctor noticed that something about the Master seemed different now, he seemed to be dreaming all the way down the mountain, despite the fact he was wide awake.

When they got inside the chalet the two guards were posted outside to make sure they didn't leave, a shield was even raised to make sure they didn't escape through the windows, it also meant that the TARDIS couldn't materialize in here for them to escape either. The Doctor turned to his new 'bride' and sighed.

"These people are perverted aren't they?"

"What'd you mean oh dear husband of mine?"

"Oh sure, blame me."

"I wasn't blaming you, I was stating out titles now, I'm wife and your husband, bloody stupid planet."

"Oh, sorry. I'm sorry I got us into this, I didn't think they'd force us to get married, and what I meant was they wanted us to bodily join."

It took the Master a second to figure it out but when he did his eyes popped from his head and his mouth dropped open in shock.

"Were they expecting us to do the deed on the alter?"

"Pretty much."

"Perverts'. Good job you're a quick liar though."

"Hmm...I didn't get us out of doing it though did I?"

"No, but I've got a simple solution to that, this marriage isn't legally binding by Gallifreyan law unless we consummate it."

"Yes Master but an unconsummated Gallifreyan marriage can' be broken."

"I know that. We can stay as we are now, husband and...Wife, but say we do decide to fall in love...like I mean...oh gods I've messed this up now."

"No, go on say it."

The Master sighed.

"Say you and I get to like being married we could consummate it then."

"And how are we going to make them think we've done it?"

"I have an idea but never mind that now, I need your opinion on something."

"Oh, alright then?"

"Now, not to ape typical wife behaviour but...Do you think I look good in this Toga?"

The Doctor chuckled

"Strangely enough you do."

"Good, there's very little I don't look good in."

"Like hoodies."

"I'm not putting a hoodie on for you, not even now since we're married."

The Doctor thudded down on the bed and the Master joined him.

"After this can we go somewhere else?"

"How about Earth?" the Doctor suggested

"No! I am not going to Earth so you can tell your friends that we're married."

"I was talking about ancient Rome, you are dressed for it."

"Oh yeah, well once we get out of here we can go there, I've never been, always meant to though, love Earth."

"You're only saying that because you're with someone who happens to be Caligula's best friend."

"And that. Did he really eat his son?"

"I don't know, it's not something you ask at the dining table is it? Anyway I best keep an eye on you."

"Why? Just because I'm you're other half now doesn't mean I need to be baby sat."

"I know that but I know Caligula, and you might go missing if you know what I mean, missing to his bed chambers."

"Well since we're married now how about we announce ourselves as husbands, just so I don't get carted off."

"Alright, hang on I thought you were the wife."

"I am but I'm not going to call myself that am I? I was being sarcastic."

The Doctor stood up and took his jacket off.

"You're not stripping off are you?"

"No, I'm getting comfortable. You don't have to wear the Toga now though, you can change back into your suit."

"Good, it's a bit drafty."

The Doctor raised his eyebrow and looked down.

"Oh Master that is gross."

"Just because you wear underpants means I have to does it?"

"Just go and change."

The Master left the bedroom and went to the bathroom, peeling the toga off as he went; the Doctor tried not to look but couldn't help himself.

"Enjoying the view are we?"

"Is there any answer I can give that won't result in you being mad at me?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I say yes you'll call me a perv and if I say no you'll say 'why? Am I not attractive?'"

"Oh Doctor...don't be silly."

He came out of the bathroom a few moments later back in his suit but without the jacket or tie, in pretty much the same as the Doctor who was sat on the bed, with his head back, eyes closed, when he sensed the Master's presence he opened his eyes and looked at him.

"You're expecting sex aren't you?" the Master asked his husband.

"Well yeah, it's natural after a wedding, but it's alright...So you said you had a plan to trick them into thinking we'd done it?"

"We don't have to do the plan if you don't want to, we could...you know, do it, if you wanted."

"No, no we'll wait. Cause you know with us, being...what are we? Enemies or ex-enemies?"

"Ex now I suppose."

"Right well with us being ex-enemies we might wanna make sure this marriage is a good thing before we jump into bed."

"Good point. Well then let's get started."

The Doctor was a little confused, the Master raised his hand and then wiggled his index finger, and pushed a vase full of flowers on the floor, smashing it to pieces, the Doctor jumped off of the bed.

"Master, that was probably expensive."

"So? You wanna trick them into thinking we're...doing the deed don't you?"

"Yeah but...Wait a second I don't understand."

The Master sighed, he walked to another vase and pushed that and the table over, smashing the vase and making the table bang against the floor, he then moaned loudly, the Doctor's eyebrows rose.

"Well come on then Doc, smash something."

"Master, I still don't get it."

The Master continued to smash things and moan and the Doctor continued to be confused, that was until the Master started slamming the bed against the wall, the Doctor chuckled.

"Well you could have said so."

Soon enough the pair of them had succeeded in tricking Titorian who was outside listening that they were really doing what they were supposed to be doing, it didn't stop there though because even after their 'first time' they continued to bounce on the bed and smack it into the wall, eventually they tired of it and both fell back onto the bed and panted.

"You know Master, that's knocked more out of me than if we had done it for real."

"I know, we can sleep now though, they've gone and we're done..." the Master reached up and planted a firm kiss on the Doctor's lips, he grinned "G'night."

The Doctor licked his lips and found the taste of the Master's lips still there.

"Yeah night."

The Doctor smiled and sighed dreamily before following his new husband into sleep.