Despite having been raised Lorelai Gilmore's girl, despite living alone in Manhattan, despite being a poster child for woman strength and independence, despite working as a young reporter at the country's most influential newspaper, she liked to be lead.
By him at least.
There was something about his quiet confidence, his restrained attraction that made her give up trying to formulate any rational thoughts.
There was something about the way he took her hand and pulled her out of that crowded room, that apartment and down to the street, where a quiet rainfall was waiting to soak them. There was something that made her not think about any of the doubts anymore.
She'd left the doubts behind, somewhere along the way. There was no rational reason to explain why. Did anything change? Did her life become more clear? Was she any more sure about what and how and why she wanted?
No.
There was no sureness in her life, thoughts or head. Only wanting him. Missing him.
She was sure of that only.
Being lead by him, down the street, towards his apartment building that was only a couple of blocks away, this seemed to be the only thing occupying her mind. There were no protests, no what ifs.
She sneaked a peak at him, his movements brusque, fast and efficient and she could recognize his hidden arousal. It made her blood boil and she suddenly felt like that night when their first date was supposed to take place. He saw the same want in his gestures the minute he stepped in through her door and it unnerved her, confused her and aroused her all in one.
When Tristan DuGray wanted you, wanted you the way he did, with the quite confidence, the smooth restrain, there was not much to do. She knew that.
She saw him look back at her as they reached his street, his lust filled eyes glancing over her soaked body and she felt a rush of adrenaline surge through her veins. It was as if his arousal was projected into her, as if she could feel his own desire reach her body.
He pulled her into the apartment building and into the elevator that closed behind them. He pushed the buttons and finally turned to her, making her pulse race.
Up till now there was noise, there was music and the sound of rain and cars speeding past. Now there was complete silence, the quiet hum of the elevator the only noise, aside from the the steady sound of their laboured breathing. The look in his darkened eyes seemed to overwhelm her and she felt herself rest her back against the wall of the elevator for support.
He moved closer, resting his weight on his hands on the wall on either side of her, making her breathing hitch. His face was inches away and all she could do was stare at his mouth that seemed to linger close enough, but still not touching.
She could swear she saw the slightest of smirks on his face as the elevator came to a stop and he turned around, pulling her along. She felt dizzy, lightheaded as she followed him.
He opened his door with clumsy hands and she realized he'd had a couple of drinks back at the party.
You could never tell with Tristan, alcohol didn't seem to affect him much. If anything, it made him more quiet, and contemplative. It made him more desirable.
He walked in through his door throwing the keys off to the side and turning around to shut the door behind her.
She suddenly realized the incredible lust that he tried to control, his eyes sparkled with a dark want and his breathing was fast as he moved closer to her, his fingers reaching out unsurely to trace her form.
She felt empowered seeing that affect on him and she smiled as she slipped from his reach, walking slowly over to the huge windows looking out over the city.
She heard a frustrated sigh from behind her and she smiled, liking the fact she could tease him.
She made sure to sway her hips as she walked, knowing it would give him a nice view of her legs and her ass barely covered by the short skirt she was wearing.
She was glad she had the guts to wear the outfit.
She stared at it for hours before finally managing to gather the strength to put it on, but once she did it gave her a mix of arousal and feeling of power at the same time.
She closed her eyes, images of her time back in high school flooding her brains.
She was a late bloomer for sure, having mainly tame memories of high school and uniforms, but after starting dating Tristan, they have revisited those memories time and time again during their intimate talks.
His recounts of what it felt like to watch her in those uniforms and to want her, made her thoughts race and the images started to occupy her mind. She wondered about how it would have been to be more adventurous back then. She wondered about the experiences she missed by being so shy and naive.
Being in his apartment right now, dressed like this, having him stare at her aroused, she suddenly realized she had a chance to see what it would have been like. To be bold. To be the bad girl.
She turned around slowly, leaning against the window and looked at him, giving him a smirk that seemed to surprise him. His breathing hitched and he moved towards her, his eyes once again going dark.
He reached her, pulling her close.
"What are you doing?" he breathed, his voice cracking as he closed his eyes, inhaling her scent.
"What do you mean?" she teased as she accentuated the curve of her back, feeling his hand slide along it.
"You're teasing" he murmured against the skin of her neck.
She smirked again as she moved away slightly, pretending to be occupied with her hair that clung to her face in wet curls. She took out the hairbands holding the ponytails and shook her curls gently, water spraying around them.
He sighed again and leaned against the window, placing his hands in his pockets as he watched her.
"You're teasing" he repeated, barely audible as he smiled.
She took a few undetermined steps towards the middle of the room and turned around to face him, intentionally making her moves seem a bit rushed, child like.
"What do you think of the outfit?" she asked in an innocent voice, spinning around, knowing full well the spin would raise her skirt high enough for him to get a glimpse of her lacy, white panties.
She looked back at him satisfied to see his eyes glued to her hips.
He scoffed as he looked back into her eyes.
"You know what I think of the outfit... Mary" he replied, pausing before saying the moniker.
Her face lit up, hearing his nickname for her.
"My name is Rory" she replied, her voice still innocent as she repeated the line she must have told him a hundred times, back in sophomore year.
"You're Mary to me" he recited his line, dutifully.
She smiled again, this time less innocent as she approached him coming to stand in front of him.
"Why is that?" she asked, her voice dropping a notch as her fingers followed the line of his suit.
He didn't answer, holding his posture in restraint as he watched her suspiciously, perhaps trying to figure out where she was heading with this game.
"I mean..." she continued, moving even closer to him "what makes you so sure...that I am, a Mary?" she finished her question, the last part quiet as she breathed it into his ear as her body slid up against him.
He closed his eyes, taking a slow deep breath as she moved her lips down his neck, not ever touching, letting her hot breath play on his skin.
"You can just tell" he said, forcing out the words, making it clear how hard it was for him to hold back at that moment.
She smirked again, as her hands traveled to his belt buckle.
"Funny" she chuckled as she smoothly unbuckled his belt.
His eyes snapped open and she could see a sea of emotions swirling in them as his breathing became fast and labored.
"Do Maries do this?" she asked, arching an eyebrow as he freed him of his pants, letting them fall to the ground, pooling at his feet "or this?" she went on, reaching into his boxers and grasping his fully erect cock.
He gasped, squeezing his eyes shut as his whole body tensed, his hand grasping her back.
He groaned an unintelligible answer and it sent her mind whirling.
"What would you have done to me?" she whispered her question and felt the hair on her back stand on ends as she heard him groan frustrated.
Her heart raced as she closed her eyes, imagining what it would have been like to be like this back then when they first met on those echoing halls.What it would have been like to have him take her first, without any restrain.
She opened her eyes to look into his, that were a deep blue with want and she saw him curse under his breath.
She waited, her breathing ragged, challenging him to take control.
He closed his eyes taking a shaky breath and his hands grasped her once again, gently pushing her down.
She obeyed, her heart once again racing, completely turned on as she got down on her knees.
She looked up, slightly arching an eyebrow as she pulled down his boxers.
His erection sprung open, only inches away from her face and her hand once again moved to grasp him, making him release a sigh.
She suddenly felt empowered, and turned on at the same time and all conscious thought seemed to leave her. She felt an incredible urge to please him, to be with him, to be wild and free and careless.
Her warm tongue darted out to lick him teasingly and she felt him tense immediately. She tasted his tart, glistening hardness and she shivered, barely able to hold back.
"Fuck, Mary" he whispered with voice cracking and she smiled enjoying her hidden fantasy coming to life.
She squeezed his base and took him in her mouth, wetting his head and immediately releasing him. She blew on the sensitive skin and he cursed again, seemingly losing his patience as she remained close to him, teasing him.
He growled, a deep growl coming from the back of his throat and she felt his hand place pressure on the back of her head, gently pushing her down onto him.
She obeyed, once again taking his length into her mouth and he moaned out load as she took in the whole of him, his cock hitting the back of her throat.
She sucked him slowly and he chocked on his breath, murmuring unintelligible words as his head fell back against the glass of the huge windows.
"So fucking hot" he whispered, barely audible as she gently pulled back, once again flicking his erection with her tongue.
She stroked him slowly a couple of times, teasing his tip with her tongue, then sucked down on him again, eternally slow and gentle.
He groaned again and she could tell he needed more as his hands once again rested on the back of her head. She felt the thrill of being able to tease him, feeling her own self control diminishing by the minute as she tasted his precum. She could barely control herself, feeling the ache between her legs become stronger and stronger, but she willed herself to wait for him to lose his patience and his control.
It didn't take long as his whole body seemed to tense once again.
"Don't fucking tease... please" he whispered desperately, his fingers running through her silky smooth hair.
She looked up with small smirk challenging him and that seemed to do it for him as he suddenly pushed her head down onto himself again, thrusting fully into her mouth.
She moaned as she felt his erection hit the back of her throat, making her swallow him completely and he cried out in pleasure, finally losing all self control.
He thrust into her mouth violently, cursing continuously. She heard his voice become more ragged as she sucked on him determinedly, making him moan and shiver.
"Fuck, Mary..." he cried, his thrusts speeding up and she felt his whole body become rigid and start to convulse.
She felt him shoot his load into her mouth as he kept thrusting, crying out in ecstasy as his tart taste filed up her mouth, pouring out and dripping down her face.
She sucked him gently, feeling him shiver as he came down from his high, his body seemingly raging as he tried to steady his erratic breathing.
She felt him grab her by her arms and lift her up to unsteady feet.
She looked into those eyes expecting to see him spent, but she gasped as she realized he was just as aroused, his eyes full of want and need.
She felt her own desire fire up as he pulled her against him, kissing her roughly, his tongue darting into and exploring her mouth.
She moaned unconsciously, letting herself be lost in his embrace. He pulled her body even closer, letting her feel his never loosening hardness against her bunched up skirt.
He said nothing as he went on to kiss her face and down her neck, his hands feeling every inch of her body as he backed her up towards the desk standing by the wall.
She felt her backside hit the table and she fell back on it, losing her balance.
She closed her eyes as she felt him feel every part of her body, his breathing fast, shallow on her skin. He felt rushed, uncontrolled, uninhibited and she realized how honest his need for her was. It overwhelmed her, the need inside of her rising by the second.
She moaned and the sound seemed to fuel his desire even more, because she felt him spin her around, her legs pushed up against the side of the desk and her chest pushed down against it.
She involuntarily spread her legs, pushing her ass into his pelvis and he groaned in a deep voice.
Her mind was going blank, her center aching for release and she sighed content, feeling his shaking hand push up her skirt and violently tear off her white lacy panties.
She felt his fingers probing her, parting her folds and slowly sliding into her and she cried out in pleasure, wanting to feel more of him down there as she pushed back against him.
He moved in haste and she suddenly felt his hardness against the back of her, stretching her entrance.
She pushed back, moaning with open mouth as she felt him slip into her with a firm thrust, filling her up completely.
He cursed as her tightness enveloped him and he started thrusting into her, his movements strong, almost violent.
His prior release seemed to lend him endurance as he rocked into her steadily from behind, sending her head spinning in a whirl of pleasure, hitting her firm and deep.
She felt herself spread out on the smooth top of the desk, his hands grasping her ass firmly as he thrust into her in a steady rhythm, inducing loud moans from her.
He cursed and called out her name, urging her to let go.
She felt her release near, as she laid sprayed out on the desk, his rock hard cock pumping in and out of her, sending her into a frenzy. She felt her breathing speed up and her whole body seemed to be on fire, the wave of her orgasm washing over her violently, making her shake for long seconds as she screamed out in pleasure.
Her sight went black as she felt her weight held up by him. She panted heavily, feeling him pull out of her.
She felt him raise her roughly, her body limp in his strong arms and he turned her around, raising her up to sit on the desk.
She felt no strength in her limbs as she forced her eyes open, seeing him still unsatisfied as he pulled her closer to the edge of the desk, positioning his throbbing erection against her swollen opening.
She felt him slide into her without hesitation, followed by a loud grunt and she thought she was going to pass out from the new assault of pleasure he managed to induce.
He thrust into her, resuming his prior rhythm, her center ravaged once again by his unappeasable need and she moaned loudly, her mind giving up trying to censor her displays of pleasure. She fell back against the wall and let him slide even deeper within her, listening to his mumbling as he pounded away.
She was instantly close again, his fast and steady movements once again sending her flying and she clung to him desperately, her nails digging into his back as she came for the second time, sobbing in pleasure.
Her insane orgasm seemed to finally send him over the edge as well, because he screamed into her ear with a final thrust, emptying deep inside of her as she fell back onto the desk, almost passing out from exhaustion and pleasure.
Silence once again seemed to envelop them as his fast, erratic breathing and her thumping heart seemed to remain the only sounds she could make out. She kept her eyes closed, not barely having enough strength to keep breathing, and she felt the thin layer of perspiration slowly evaporate from her body in that cool apartment.
She felt him move, yet could not move herself, as he slipped out of her, leaving her with a different kind of ache, one she knew in the back of her blank mind would remind her of this night even tomorrow.
She felt his arms envelop and lift her body, his muscles tensing with what probably was great effort on his part.
She still couldn't open her eyes, but she felt him take her towards the direction of the bedroom, and moments later she felt him place her down on the smooth sheets of his bed.
She sighed contently, finally managing to open her eyes, and she saw him lay beside her on the bed, his face close to hers.
His eyes seemed to be troubled and she narrowed her eyes trying to decipher his thoughts.
He brushed a strand of hair away from her face, his face lost in thought.
"What?" she said, not having the strength to formulate a more elaborate question, hoping that once again he would know just what the word referred to.
He finally met her eyes and she seemed to recognize shame.
"It wouldn't have been like this" he whispered.
She furrowed her brows, not understanding, but her heart seemed to have figured it out, because it started beating faster again.
He moved slightly closer, as if telling a secret, his fingers once again caressing imaginary stands of hair away from her face.
"You would have deserved so much more than just this" he mouthed, barely audible, the confession lingering in the air as their eyes met.
She felt like herself again, the fantasy gone, the need to be someone else, to experience something else gone. At this moment there was only her and him, finally.
She felt an incredible urge to cry, his words somehow shooting straight to her heart, but instead she moved closer, her lips gently touching his. She felt him sigh as if he'd been holding back in anticipation, and she kissed him, their mouths moving gently in an intimate act for the first time in such a long time.
She opened her eyes to look at him and he squeezed his shut, as if trying to block tears, even though she knew he never cried.
She felt his hands snake in her hair as he rested his forehead against hers.
"I missed you" she whispered, suddenly not afraid of saying what she felt.
His face contorted, hearing those words and he smiled a wry smile, eyes still squeezed shut.
"God, I miss you" he replied, the change of grammar not going unnoticed by her.
He wrapped strong arms around her and pulled her closer as he shifted, her head coming to rest on his chest as a hand kept caressing her hair.
She felt her whole body relax, feeling his warmth and his beating heart beneath her face, the sound inexplicably mesmerizing and occupying her thoughts.
Those sounds felt so reassuring, so familiar, so true.
She wondered if she could hear braveness in the steady and serious thuds, she wondered if you could tell by the sound what a heart wants or how it aches. The peculiarity of the theory made her smile, knowing she must be drifting off to sleep, but she kept wondering anyway, holding her breath to decipher the meaning, until unconsciousness finally won over her.