Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own anything concerning Twilight except for my copies of the books... and a poster!
EPOV (Edward) (Middle of March, Six months after he left Bella)
I have been sitting in this tree for hours; staring at the house for hours.
I was sure it was probably four in the morning by now. But I couldn't leave. I couldn't do it again. I would never be able to leave her again; I don't know how I did it in the first place.
I was afraid to approach her window. What if she doesn't want me? What if she's still mad? She accepted it in the woods, that I didn't want her, and it took all my strength not to grab her by the shoulders and tell her otherwise. I couldn't understand how she believed me so quickly. I still don't.
What if… what if she really believed me?
How could she believe me; believe that I didn't love her, didn't want her?
It's impossible!
It was physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally impossible for me not to love her with all of my heart. Just because my heart didn't beat, didn't mean it didn't belong to her. I left my heart here with her.
I clung to the branch with all of my strength and tried not to rip it off the innocent tree.
I wanted to sneak into her room. I wanted to see her sleep. I wanted to hear her speak in her sleep. I wanted to wake her and apologize. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to feel her back in my arms.
How could I have left her like that?
Not only did I leave her after her birthday party from hell, but I left after I finally gave myself to her, and her to me. It was never my intent to go so far. I never thought we had that possibly. I had planned on it never happening, whether she agreed or not.
I thought I would be dangerous, that I would kill her. Why not just take her hunting with the whole family… I'd probably get the same result.
I fell even more in love with her that night.
She trusted me not to hurt her; which was exactly what I did in the end. She loved me back wholeheartedly and we both experienced something that would change us forever.
I couldn't help imagining what would have been if I hadn't left, if her birthday party never went the way it did. We would have stayed together. I would have continued to love her immensely and we could have continued to let our relationship develop, emotionally and physically.
I could see it; what would have happened if I had never left.
We would have stayed together and been happy. Maybe we would have been engaged by now. I certainly would have asked. I sat next to her every night while she slept just thinking about being with her forever. But I could only ask her for a lifetime.
The sun was beginning to rise and I still was in the same position that I had bounded into when I arrived here. She would be turning on her lights any minute now to get ready for school. I'll wait for her… I'll let her go to school and I'll be waiting when she comes home.
I didn't want to keep her from her life and I felt like I needed a lifetime to apologize to her, not five minutes in between her shower and getting breakfast.
I waited.
I wanted to watch her get ready for the day. I wanted to listen to her heartbeat as she woke up and realized that it was morning. Her heartbeat was the single most important sound in the world and I had missed it for far too long. I vowed to never be away from it again; for any reason, or any amount of time.
I listened.
I heard Charlie's shuffled steps to the bathroom and down the hall. I heard his groans that signaled his back was aching from staying on the couch too late the night before. I heard the water running as he filled the coffee pot. I heard his heartbeat, but not hers.
Where was she? Was she okay?
I looked around the house for any clues that I may have missed last night. Her truck. Her truck was gone. Where would she have gone? A friend's? I couldn't have missed her, I would have noticed if her scent had passed me during the night. She had been gone all night. A sleepover then. Maybe with Angela or Jess.
I tried not to think of alternatives. I had asked her to move on; what if she did? I knew Charlie was stern, but she lied to him frequently for me. What if she was lying for another boy?
I felt jealous for a split second and then I felt ashamed. I asked her to forget me; I asked her to move on. I can't be like this, but I have to know. I didn't even know if it was true. My mind had become a loose wanderer the last six months and it continued so. I knew only seeing her again would cease the problem. I just needed to see her.
***
I hid in the trees as all the kids filed into Forks High. I could see the mundane drama unfolding between students I remembered, but didn't actually miss.
Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley were apparently breaking up for the 3rd, no 4th, time this school year.
"Just admit that you did it! I know you cheated, just admit it!" Newton was screaming at her from the parking lot as she was walking away from him with Lauren Mallory, who was looking amused.
"Of course, I cheated! But I'm not telling him that." Jessica was trying to think of another excuse for breaking up with him this time. "Oh please, Mike. I'm sick of competing for your attention!"
"What is that supposed to mean?!" "I swear if she brings up Bella again, I'll smash in her taillights!"
Bella? Bella and Mike? No, God please I can't take that one; please anyone else.
"It means exactly what it always means. You are obsessed with Bella Swan! She's not even here anymore. She's been gone for months, get over her! She never wanted you anyways!" Jessica walked into building three for her first class leaving Newton outside.
Bella's gone? Where'd she go? I listened to Mike's thoughts, hoping he would think about where she went.
"Ugh! I swear this is the last time I ever talk to Jess, I'm over it! I can't believe she brought up Bella. She's been gone for six months, I can't hold out for that…"
Six months? She's been gone for six months? That means she left shortly after I did. "Where could she have gone?" I whispered in desperation.
Beep, beep.
A text message.
-I don't know where she is, but I know you're 2 late. She's long gone. You suck.-
Alice.
It wasn't the first wasn't the first message she had sent me. She was the one to push me to come here. I would've come sooner or later but she kept going on about how I needed to make up my mind for her own sanity.
I flipped my phone close. Annoying, psychic pixie.
I headed back to her house. I needed to see that she was really gone for myself. I couldn't bring myself to trust the minds of Newton and Jessica Stanley to know the truth.
I slipped up the side of the house and opened her window. The lock was stiff but I was able to use enough force to break it in half. Fantastic, I'm breaking into the Police Chief's house. And I don't even have a person telling me its okay anymore.
Beep, beep
-Nice Edward. Just break in, I'm sure that will help.-
Ugh! I could hear the sarcasm but I didn't care.
Her room looked the same. She didn't take much when she left. Her computer was still there along with her bed and all the clothes she ever brought with Alice. She had taken most of her books and CDs but there were some still here that she hadn't been partial to. It looked like she only took what she absolutely wanted or needed.
I could smell her scent and it nearly took me to my knees.
I couldn't smell Charlie in the room at all. I'm sure he was devastated when she left; he probably couldn't bring himself to even opening the door.
Without thinking, I pulled out my phone and dialed the Police Department's number.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Only in Forks would you have to wait more than two rings for the police to answer a damn phone!
Ring.
"Forks Police Station. Chief Swan speaking. What's this concerning?"
"Chief Swan, it's…" I couldn't say it was me. He'd kill me. I'm positive. "Mike Newton."
"Well hey, Mike. What seems to be the problem?" At least I'll be able to get Mike into some trouble for calling without an emergency, although I didn't call 911 for that exact reason.
"Well, I don't really have an emergency but I have a favor to ask. I'm trying to get a hold of Bella and I was wondering if you remembered where she went." God, that's stupid. Of course he knew where she went!
"Mike, you shouldn't call here unless you need the police. But… you know Bella moved back to Florida with her mom. You saw her before she left, she needed the change." She needed a change?
"What do you mean Cha- Chief Swan?"
"Mike, you remember how bad she was, but she's better now. You want her number?"
"Yes. Yes, please."
Charlie gave me her number but I knew I needed to actually see her. I couldn't say what I needed to say over the phone.
I bent down to the floorboards and pulled up the one that I used to hide her gifts. They were all there, she hadn't found them. The plane tickets, the CD, along with the pictures. I wanted to cry when I saw the pictures. Why did I take these from her? I put the contents into my jacket pockets and pulled the board back over.
I leapt out of the window and headed to the airport to catch the next flight to Jacksonville.
APOV (Alice)
Good God, he couldn't have realized his brainless mistake back in September. I knew he wouldn't find her. She was long gone and I didn't have the slightest idea where she went. All I knew was he wasn't finding her with the decisions that he was making.
I texted Edward again as I saw him reach Bella's mom's house.
-She's not there either, idiot.-
Ten seconds later my phone rang. I just pushed the green button; I knew he was getting frustrated with me texting him throughout his search. Oh well, it's my right since he left my sister and forced me to as well.
"Hello Edward, how are you doing today?"
I heard him growling as he fought for control of his temper. "Where is she Alice? I need to find her…" His tone was desperate at the end.
"I know you need her Edward, but you left her. Besides, I don't know where she is." I wish I did though…
"How is that possible Alice, you see the damn future. Look for her! Tell me where she is!"
"Control your temper Edward. I will hang up on you." I had had my fill of his broodiness and pent up rage for the last six months. It had put a strain on my own relationship since Jazz was feeling all of it too.
"Fine… I'm sorry. But why can't you see her, why won't you tell me?" He was desperate again and I decided to take pity. It's not like I have anything useful to tell him, but stuff he should know none the less.
"You broke her, Edward. I have barely seen any visions of her since you decided that we needed to leave her be, to live a normal, human life. And in those visions, she's miserable and confused and just… broken!" I had seen her smiling a few times too but he didn't need to know that. Besides, they were short and blurry and I couldn't be sure of the truth in them. "I can't see where she is or who she's with. I almost never see her entire body; just her face displaying those painful emotions. I don't know where she is or where she would go; if I did I would find her myself!
"You shouldn't have waited so long to go find her. I swear; I'm not even sure if…"
"Sure if, what?" He tone was depressed; he knew what I was getting at but he needed me to confirm it.
"I'm not sure if… if you'll find her. I saw us all seeing her again before we left but now… I haven't seen that vision for months now."
"So, I might never find her. I might never she her again." They weren't questions.
"I don't know. I hope I get to see her again." I wished that everyday, that I could see Bella again. I missed my sister.
"I can't accept that Alice. I will find Bella!" I hope you do… He hung up on me.
"Alice?" Jasper came in and walked over to me. "Edward?"
"Yeah. He won't find her. I can't even see her now." I wanted him to find her but I just knew he wouldn't. And in all honesty, I'm not sure it would be good for her if he did.
"He won't give up, Alice. He finally sees his mistake."
"It doesn't matter Jazz. I can see it. He'll search for years… he still won't find her. I wish I was wrong…" Jasper rubbed my shoulders in comfort but I was too far into my own thoughts to let him sooth me.
EPOV
Alice was wrong, I'll find her. I have to.
I reached Renee's house just after sunset. Damn Florida sunshine kept me away for hours.
I looked in the windows and saw no sign of her. I knew I wouldn't, but I still hoped that Alice was wrong.
I had nothing to lose. I pulled out my phone and dialed Renee's number.
Ring.
Ring.
"Hello?" Renee picked up the phone quickly and I could hear that she hoped it was Bella. She hadn't heard from her in about a week, but she wasn't worried.
"Hello, is this Bella's mom?" I was keeping up the Mike impersonation and knew he'd ask something stupid like that. Granted he wouldn't be seeing her and would actually have a reason to ask that. Ugh!
"Yes, why?" "Oh my god, is she okay? Did something happen?"
I tried to ease her panic. "My name is Mike. I'm a friend from Forks and I was wondering if she was there?" I just wanted to hear her thoughts so I would know where to search next.
"Why would she be here, Mike? Bella is in Forks with her father…" "Is Bella not with Charlie?
"Oh, I'm sorry… that's right." She lied to them. She told them both that she was living with the other. My statement didn't alleviate Renee's concern; she decided to call Charlie as soon as I hung up. Crap, I didn't mean to get her in trouble.
"Is Bella not there, Mike?" There was nothing I could say to sway her from calling.
"I haven't seen her." It was a stupid response, but I was pretending to be Newton.
"Goodbye Mike, I need to make a call." She hung up quickly.
Her mind was panicked and she had to redial several times before she had Charlie's number right.
"Where's Bella?!" Renee screamed into the phone as soon as Charlie answered.
"Renee? How am I supposed to know, she lives with you. Why don't you know?"
"She sure as hell doesn't live with me. She has been with you for over a year now!"
"No, she was with me until she moved back with you in September." Charlie's tone was placating and Renee was getting angrier by the second.
"She did not move back here in September! She's been gone since September?!"
"…Yes." Charlie was nervous but without hearing his thoughts I wasn't sure if it was because he was worried about Bella or fearful of Renee's reaction.
"How could you not call me?!"
"I didn't think she would lie to me, about that…"
"Well she did!" Renee hung up on Charlie then and quickly dialed Bella's cell phone number.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
"Your call has been forwarded to an automated voicemail. After the beep please leave a message for: Bella. Beep."
"Isabella Marie, you will call me as soon as you get this! You will call me and tell me where the hell you are and why you lied to me and your father about living with us! You better have an explanation Bella! And you better call me tonight or I will call the FBI, CIA, secret service, and whoever else I need to call to find you!"
I was honestly a bit afraid of Renee at that point. I waited outside her house all night with no calls from Bella.
Renee called and left three more messages to the same effect as the first, along with one that was purely pleading her to call and tell her she was safe. I was praying she would listen to that one. I was getting more anxious listening to Renee's thoughts.
Renee had also called Charlie back to apologize and exchange everything they knew. Charlie had left several messages for Bella as well and while he said they were kinder and merely asked her to call and say she was okay, I had my doubts.
The sun was coming up and I needed to find shelter from the sun. Sparkly vampire sightings never help anything.
I continued to come back to Renee's house for the next three nights but Bella never called. She did however send an e-mail.
Mom and Dad,
I am writing both of you so you don't panic or think I'm hiding anything from one of you.
I'm fine. I traveled on my own for bit and now I'm taking classes online to get my GED.
I'm sorry I lied; I just needed to be on my own. And I'm sorry, but I'm still not going to tell you where I am. I'll call you both soon, but I have a feeling that I need to let you both cool down. I will call you soon and don't worry, I really am doing well.
Love Bella
I left Renee's. I knew Bella wasn't going to tell her where she was. She would have done it already if that was her intention. There was nothing to go on, so I just started searching state by state.
A/N: This chapter was hard to write for some reason. I had a ton of ideas and most ended up being crossed out of my notebook. Some didn't work for the timeline and some didn't work for the character's personalities. Although I am happy with the chapter, I am surprised at how different it is from what I thought it would be. My favorite part had to be Alice telling Edward off. I've waited for that for too long!
I hope you all enjoyed seeing Edward, Mike, and Charlie again, along with Jess and Renee. Next chapter is all Bella and Renesmee and will be set two years from the start of the story. I'm SO excited for that chapter, I've been thinking about it since I thought of the plot. I'm hoping it will be up tomorrow but if it's not, it'll be up Tuesday because I'll be gone for Labor Day weekend (Universal Studios, Orlando!!!).
As always, Read, Review, and Ask! I love your comments, keep them coming!
~kmwhyte