Chapter 33 - Moments

A few months passed and Lily found herself knocking on Mac's door.

'Ms. Stewart, what can I do for you?' The detective motioned her to sit down.

'I was wondering if you needed any help. With Lindsay going into maternity leave soon and all ...' she trailed off. 'It was probably a stupid idea, I'm sorry,' she stood up to leave.

'Please sit down,' he ordered. 'I'd love your help but I'm afraid I can't employ any more people.'

'Oh, I'd do it for free, so you don't have to worry about that,' explained Lily.

'Are you telling me you'd work for free?' said Mac disbelievingly. 'Why?'

'I'm just returning the favor ... You've always been very kind to me and although I refused your offer, I'm still at your disposal. So if you need an extra pair of hands, I'm available.'

'Do you have the time to work at the lab? Aren't you a uniform?'

'I would be sacrificing my work as a lawyer for a while and some relaxation hours but I could pull it off,' she reassured him.

'Are you sure about this?' Mac asked and she nodded. 'Then I'll talk to your lieutenant. When can you start?'

'Whenever you need me to.'

'I'll talk to Lindsay first to seen when she's going on leave and then I'll give you a call.'

'Great,' Lily knew she was being dismissed, so she got up and left.

***

Lily had been called to her first scene so she rushed to get there as quickly as possible. She saw Flack interviewing somebody a few feet away but she went straight into the theater to see where she could be useful. To her relief, Stella was already there.

'Where do you need me, Stella?' she quickly scanned the room, making mental notes of what should be processed.

'Lily, hey. Why don't you start by dusting the door for fingerprints?' ordered the detective and the other cop started working right away.

A couple of minutes later Flack came into the room. He first dismissed the person kneeling on the floor dusting for prints as a random tech. However, something in his brain clicked and when he looked again, saw it was his ex.

'Lil, what are ya doin' here?' he was surprised.

'I'm gonna help in the lab while Lindsay's on leave,' she explained, her eyes focused on the doorknob. It was pretty embarrassing to look at him, especially considering her position.

'Oh, okay. Welcome to the party,' he smiled and walked to Mac.

***

Mac called Lily to his office.

'I know that you've been very nice, giving your time to the lab, but with Danny and other people with the "blue flu", I need your shifts to be longer,' he told her.

'I'm sorry, Mac, but I can't. My patrol shift is four hours longer now, I - I don't even know how I can pull off a whole shift in the lab anymore,' Lily bit her lip.

'Okay, I'll see what I can do. Thanks,' Mac massaged his forehead.

'If the day had more hours, I would ... I'm really sorry,' she left.

Two days later, Lily was walking to the layout room when she bumped into somebody.

'Sorry,' she said and kept walking, her eyes never leaving the floor.

'My fault. Are you okay, Lily?' asked Flack.

'Peachy!' she sounded mad.

'Woah! Somebody's angry. What's wrong?'

'I've been workin' for twenty-three staight hours. The day before I worked for sixteen and the day before that for twenty hours. I hate the stupid union!'

'What does the union have to do with anythin'?' he didn't understand.

'Oh, right. They're trying to get benefits for all cops with this strike. Seems they've forgotten that while they're at home with the stupid flu, somebody's gotta pick up the slack.'

'Well maybe that's what you think 'cause you're a partner in a fancy law firm, but for some of us these things are important.'

'Then why are you working?'

'I was part of the important strikes. I know how necessary our job is.'

'Well, screw all liberals. You gotta earn things. And leavin' the city without protection isn't really the best idea. Especially 'cause now people hate all cops, even those of us who work; great job, morons! All for what? Two fucking dollars?'

'For some people those two dollars make a difference.'

'But it's not fair for the rest of us. I do this job because I believe in all the "serve and protect" stuff but that doesn't mean I've gotta work nonstop 'til somebody decides the strike isn't gonna accomplish anything.'

'You feelin' better?' asked Flack.

'Yeah, needed to get that outta my system, thanks,' she turned round and left for the layout room.

The whole conversation and her leaving might have seemed rude to some people, but not to Flack. He knew that after Lily vented, she needed to be alone. He also knew that she'd been picking a fight with him, to get her anger out. So he played along. And he felt as if they were together again; there was a familiarity between them that stemmed from knowing each other for a long, long time and from being a couple. That chemistry they had, that connection, it didn't end, even if their relationship did. They'd spent too much time together and you couldn't take that back; they couldn't help falling into the same dynamics.

***

Flack had gone to the lab to talk to Mac and was now going back to the Precinct. He was walking down a hallway when he saw a blur leave one of the labs and hunch over a trash can. When he approached to see if the person was okay, he realized it was Lily.

'What happened? Are you a'right?' he asked, placing a hand on her back.

'No,' she straightened up. 'I'm processing the "collection".'

'Oh.'

'This is sick!' her eyes were watery as she straightened up.

'I know,' said Flack softly. 'I'm sorry.'

'I ... I just can't get my mind around it, y'know? All those deaths; it makes no sense to me,' she paused to take a breath. 'I need to get to the locker room.'

'I'll walk you there,' he sounded worried.

'You don't have to, I'm fine.'

'I saw Xander Greene's collection, Lily. It's totally understandable,' there was a lot of empathy in his voice.

'I know it makes me a bad investigator but I can't help it. This got to me,' she admitted.

'It only makes you human,' he disagreed. 'Was somebody in your family ...' he didn't dare to finish the question.

'No. But it was something so awful, I still can't stop feeling disgusted,' she explained as she grabbed her things and prepared to brush her teeth.

'I get it. And leaving this case aside, how's this job treatin' ya?' he was worried.

'Okay,' Lily dried her mouth with the back of her hand.

'Didn't sound too convinced.'

'It's not a field trip; it's awful and dark but it's okay.'

'You're juggling between the lab and patrol, right?'

'Yes, sir. Is this the part where I can ask for a lawyer?' she said sarcastically. She didn't like being interrogated.

'Sorry, I was just askin'. I'm worried about you,' he answered truthfully.

'I'm still trying to figure out what I wanna do with the rest of my life.'

'You used to know.'

'Before my world was turned upside-down.'

'What happened?'

'You,' she looked straight into his eyes.

'I'm sorry for screwing things up for you,' he said softly.

'It was so much more than that ... ' she smiled fondly at the memories before splashing her face with water. 'How's your life?'

'I'm good.'

'Don't sound too convinced,' she answered back with his words.

'But I am,' he said firmly.

'Oh, good,' she tried to sound happy for him. Truth was his tone had implied he was really happy with Angell. It wasn't exactly what she was asking about, but he must felt it was important to stress it.

'Yeah, I'm great.'

'I'm glad,' she smiled. 'I have to go back to work now, so ...'

'Right. I'll join you, I was leaving,' he said and they walked back to the original location in complete silence.

'Thanks, Don.'

'Sure,' he placed a hand on her back before walking to the elevator.

Okay, I know this chapter is kind of crappy and I know I've neglected this fic for a while, but I was suffering from writer's block. Good news is: it's over. And soon you'll have a good chapter, I promise. Thanks to sparkyCSI for all her support and to those of you who review. Do let me know what you think, where you would want the story to go, etc. Feedback is greatly appreciated!