The unusual warmth made her remember days that seemed lighter than their actual self. Days that she knew she didn't feel were light and careless back then, but now, in hindsight and after a long winter seemed carefree and happy in a nostalgic way.
The first sunshine of the spring transformed the park, the springing grass and appearing buds on the trees highlighted by the stark yellow glow. And it was full of noise, after the held back murmur of the cold, the warmth melted everything, releasing sound and voice and life.
She sat on a bench, her back still feeling cold as she pulled her light overcoat tighter around herself. It might have been spring but it was still chilly out and she knew that nightfall might even bring fray, destroying the fragile life that had so vicariously broken through the chilled ground.
She watched the swarm of people who appeared in the park, the couples walking, the children running, the happy New Yorkers soaking up the sun from behind the safety of their designer sunglasses. It was so like New York, to appraise the first delicate days of spring, of celebrating any trace of warmth, of renewal, even with the possibility of it being fleeting still.
She remembered the days of their first summer together, when they would meet up at the park every day, taking lunches or afternoon strolls. She remembered his quiet enthusiasm that persuaded her to get her over fears, tough times and an altogether difficult year for her. That was all she seemed to remember from that year, even though she knew it was a trying time with the difficulties of finding a job and facing some career lows. It was still an optimistic time for her, because it was the period that she was initially getting to know him, learning a man that seemed familiar and foreign at the same time.
She remembered sitting on this very bench breaking out in a huge grin as she would see him approach, sleeves rolled up and suit jacket tossed carelessly over his shoulder as he would walk up to her. They would sit and talk for hours, her legs swung over his. He would talk about work and college and his memories of military school, keeping her entertained and astonished at the same time. It was those talks that transformed the mischievous and annoying boy of her memories into the complex and enthralling human being that she fell in love with. Warm days at the park still reminded her of that feeling she used to get, that excitement, that strange twisting of her stomach. She had to smile at the memory.
"What are you smiling about?" he asked smirking as he sat down beside her.
She looked up, seeing him only in his dress shirt as he laid his suit jacket on the bench next to himself.
"It's not that warm yet, Tristan" she murmured, worried for him even as she remembered his unusual tolerance for cold.
"What are you talking about, it's practically summer" he laughed, leaning in to kiss her. As if on cue, a gust of spring wind tussled her hair, making her shiver even as his lips reached hers. Her mind once again returned to those memories of stomach flipping, and suppressed giggles as his tongue moved softly into her mouth.
"What are you smiling about?" he repeated his question, his lips moving against hers as he murmured the words with a smile.
"Nothing" she shook her head, trying to control her smile "just remembering stuff.""Yeah?" he laughed "Like what?"
She shook her head again, happy to be keeping her memories to herself, but she did turn slightly, lifting her legs up to place them into his lap.
As if the simple gesture would have explained more than words could, he smiled lazily and leaned back on the bench, looking out onto the park as his hands moved to caress her legs laying in his lap.
"How was work today?" she asked and he groaned an answer.
"You like your work, remember?" she chuckled.
"Right" he murmured, not quite convinced.
"What about you? What did you do?" he turned to her, his hand going up to tuck a stray lock of her hair behind her ear.
She shrugged lightly. She hadn't actually done anything. She finished the final editing session two weeks ago and was waiting on the final print. She was avoiding talking to Mindy, who was the PR manager for Truncheon and had been trying to organize the book's launch. The whole idea made her skin crawl. She thought Truncheon was a small independent publishing company with no need for such showcases, but apparently their recent success had Jess and his partners agreeing to take some more conventional routes as far as book launching and promotion went.
It was all very foreign to her. She just wanted to see the book in print, wanted to actually hold it in her hand, wanted to smell it, wanted to see it really existed, that she had really done it. She argued with Jess about it, pointing out that she didn't know of the Subsect ever having had a book launching party. He replied by saying he had higher hopes for Rory's book.
"You are frowning" she heard him say, his fingers tracing her lips and she shook her head slightly, clearing her head of the thoughts that were plaguing it.
"Sorry" she murmured.
"What's up?" he asked, his eyebrow slightly raised.
"Nothing, I was just thinking of the launch party..." she shrugged.
"Yeah, when is that?" he asked.
"I don't know, they haven't quite decided it yet. They wanna do it here, in New York and they are looking at venues..." she sighed, the whole subject making her feel uneasy.
"It's a good thing, Rory" Tristan pointed 's ridiculous" she groaned.
"Well, it's free food and drinks, so sign me up" he joked and she smiled along, good-hearted.
"Well, if you put it like that" she smiled.
The light changed suddenly, a strong ray of sunlight hitting their bench, making them squint.
"Wow, it really is spring, huh?" she asked in awe, looking around as the sunlight painted the park around them.
"Yeah" he said, his voice warm, content.
It made her look into his eyes, which were calm, rested, sparkling, confident. Her whole body relaxed gently as she watched him.
"Tell me the story" she said, her voice quiet, playful.
He looked at her, his eyebrows slightly furrowed as he tried to decipher the request. She saw the lines smooth out and his face turn smiling as he understood her.
"The story?" he asked smiling as he looked out onto the park, his eyes focusing on something out in the distance. His fingers intertwined with hers laying in her lap.
"Yeah" she breathed as she waited for him patiently.
"The weather made you think of that?" he asked, not really waiting for an answer.
It was the weather, because it was exactly like this day, in fact it was a couple of days short of four years ago that they had met.
"I finished a meeting and I was about to catch a cab" he started, his words slow, even "when I saw you. You must have been watching me, because you had this half smile and you stood on the curb looking at me."
She smiled, hearing him recite the story that she'd asked for so many times.
"I looked at your eyes and realized that they were the same color as the sky gets at dusk at spring time, and I realized that I'd know this, that I knew this back at Chilton, that I knew so much back at Chilton without realizing it. I wondered what it would have been like to know you more, to have you, to have had you change my life" he said, his words quiet musings that she had to hold her breath to hear.
"And as I walked over to you, I felt this excitement, this hope that maybe you still could" he said.
Rory held her breath, her heart racing as his words registered in her brain. He'd never told her this before. The story always changed, giving her new information, new insight, but this she'd never heard.
"I talked to you and it was on auto-pilot, because my whole brain was obsessing about this instead, about you, your reactions. You smiled. You smiled at my words and there was no trace of fear or of annoyance or anything impure. You were so true and innocent, like back then. You smiled, as though you saw into me, as though you saw all this fucking need in me. And your eyes lit up and I thought, god I want to be able to do that to you. I want your eyes lit up like that."
His speech finished, and he was still gazing out over at something in the park. Rory had to remind herself to breathe, remind her heart to calm down.
He shifted slightly, his gaze falling to her hands in his. Her gaze followed his. The sunshine sparkled on the delicate diamond on her finger.
She looked back up at him, not missing the shadow crossing his features as his fingers gently brushed over the ring on her finger.
She wondered if that would ever stop. If he could ever look at that piece of jewelry and see her love there instead of the rejection that he seemed to associate with it.
"I love you" she said, impulsively, desperately and he smiled, turning to her.
"That story always gets you hot and bothered" he joked.
She shook her head, needing for him to see the desperation with which she was trying to express herself.
"I love you and you saved me. That day. And on a hundred other days since then" she said, her voice faltering as he finally looked at her, his face serious, calm.
"I want to always remember that and I want to prove it to you and the world. I want to wear this ring and I want a fucking white dress and a church and your mother and my grandmother" she ranted.
"I don't want to be uncertain anymore and I am not going to be, ever. I know what I want now" she went on, her fingers gripping his.
"Rory" he said "I don't need you to prove anything..." he replied, but she broke him off.
"But I want to! I want you to be sure. As sure as I am" she said as she breathed deep, trying to will away the stinging in her eyes.
He looked at her, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.
"Okay" he said, leaning in to kiss her.
She felt the heat of the kiss, his suppressed need glowing through his careful movements and she kissed him back with desperate fervor, wishing that she could convince himself he did really and truly see how sure she was, that he was safe, that she meant it. She felt his intensity increase, his hold tightening around her waist as he pulled her closer, groaning softly into their kiss.
He groaned in frustration as he pulled away.
"You're killing me" he murmured and she had to laugh seeing the apparent pain on his face as he tried to get his control back over his body.
"You have to go back?" she asked, feeling him shift beneath her to get more comfortable.
"Yeah" he groaned "I have court."
She watched as he inhaled deeply, concentrating hard.
"You need another minute?" she chuckled, feeling the bulk beneath her butt.
"Shut up" he groaned, making her laugh out loud.
"Tell you what?" she said, feeling slightly smug.
"What?" he raised an eyebrow.
"You go, kick ass at court, and I'll go home and see if I can dig up that black dress from the closet" she shrugged, thinking of the infamous dress she wore on their first date.
He tensed, his eyes widening with lust.
"Rory Gilmore, what are you trying to do to me?" he asked.
She slipped off of him, coming to stand in front of the bench.
"Maybe I could match it with the boots" she wondered out aloud and chuckled as Tristan sat on the bench with a painful expression on his face, obviously not ready to get up and follow her just yet.
"Woman, you will be punished" he groaned.
xxxxxxxxx
She strode into their building, still feeling giddy, with a smile threatening to spread on her face.
"Miss Gilmore, I have a package for you" the voice of the doorman caught her off guard.
"Oh, Bill, thank you" she said as she took the package from his hand, strolling towards the elevator.
She pushed the button, turning her attention to the package in her hand. She read the sender's information and her heart sped up when she saw it was from Truncheon.
She waited impatiently as the elevator finally reached their floor and she dashed down the hallway, opening the door. She walked in, shutting the door behind her.
She leaned against it and looked at the package once more, before tearing away the wrapping.
She gasped as she saw the book, old fashioned, hard back, black letter on the front bearing her name and the title, the picture of a lifeless frog beneath the words.
A piece of paper fluttered to the ground and she bent down to reach for it.
She slipped to the ground as she read the piece of note.
"Can't for the life of me figure out why you wanted this to be on the cover, but here you go. It looks disturbing. Hope you love it."
She chuckled as her fingers ran over the cover, her heart beating a mile a minute.
She lifted the book to her face, smelling that wonderful smell as she flipped through the pages. It smelt amazing. Old fashioned and clean and new at the same time.
She opened the front page, turning the pages to the foreword.
"Rory Gilmore has a voice that could break hearts. She has words to twist your guts and sooth your most rabid turmoil. She knows truths that will make your world tremble and your walls break down and crumble. And this book is an account of how she learned those truths, how she figured out those words and how she found that voice. I stand astonished and will forever be grateful for having the opportunity to bear witness. Jess Mariano"
She smiled as she released a long breath, her chest aching with a soft tension that flooded the whole of her body. Her head leaned back against the wood of the door and her eyes closed as she smiled wholeheartedly, clutching the book to her chest.
xxxxxxxx
She heard the keys rattle moments before the door creaked open and she smiled a giddy smile, rushing toward the foyer.
He walked in and his eyes fell on her form. She spun around ceremoniously and watched delighted as he froze, his eyes glued to her form.
He exhaled sharply, his eyes turning dark.
"Gives me a boner every fucking time" he murmured and she laughed out loud, sliding her hands down the smooth fabric of the black dress.
"You don't say" she giggled, teasing him as she spun slowly for him.
"Take it off, before I have to rip it" he warned, taking slow, deliberate steps towards her.
She chuckled again.
"You think I'm kidding" he went on with the joke, taking off his suit and tossing it on the armchair as he followed her.
"You rip it and you won't ever see me in it again" she teased.
He stopped, contemplating her words.
"Fine, I'll give you thirty seconds" he motioned towards the bedroom and she giggled, turning around and dashing in.
Her fingers went to the side zipper, slowly undoing it before carefully stepping out of the dress. She laid it on the sofa by the nightstand, turning to glance at herself in the mirror. The black satin lingerie would have to do, she thought to herself before calling out for him.
"The dress is safely discarded" she announced.
She held her breath for his approaching steps, his reaction, but she only heard silence.
"Tristan?" she called out, unsure.
There was no answer, so she peaked out of the bedroom, finding the foyer empty.
She walked towards the living room, seeing him in the middle of the room, the book in his hands as his brows furrowed in concentration.
Her eyes focused on the book in his hands and she figured he was reading the foreword by the expression on his face.
"It came today" she said quietly, unable to hide her smile.
He nodded, not able to tear his eyes away from the page, even though she knew he probably reread the couple of lines several times already.
"Wow" he said, his voice throaty as he closed the book and ran his fingers over the cover "you really did it."
"Yeah, I put the frog on the cover" she tried to joke, even though she knew he wasn't referring to her choice of the cover.
He looked up, still not looking at her, but staring out of the window instead and she swallowed the uneasy feeling in the back of her throat as she watched him struggle.
"It's a nice foreword" he said, his voice quiet "so... right on."
"Yeah, Jess has a way with words" she agreed, walking towards him.
She reached him, taking the book from his hand and dropping it back on the table. Her fingers went to his cheek, turning him towards her.
He finally looked at her, his face blank.
"And you... have a way with me" she said as she slid up against his body.
His arms went around her bare waist and he smirked barely noticeably.
She rose onto her toes and kissed him gently.
He sighed, pulling her into a strong embrace.
"I am so proud of you" he whispered and she felt her breathing hitch as her heartbeat sped up.
"I know" she murmured.
She disentangled herself from her hold, turning to walk toward the bedroom as she pulled him with her. He complied, walking after her wordlessly. The light in the bedroom was dim and she walked to the edge of the bed before turning around to kiss him again.
He sighed softly against her lips, his mouth moving slowly against her eager one. She pushed herself closer to him, arching when his hands once again wound around her waist.
"I want you" she whispered and she felt him sigh against her neck, kissing his way down.
She pulled away, climbing onto the bed, laying on her back.
She looked up and watched as he stared at her motionless.
She held out her hand, motioning for him to join her.
His hands went to his tie, slowly undoing it, as his eyes skimmed her bare body.
"You're gorgeous" he whispered, the words barely audible despite the quiet of the apartment.
She closed her eyes in anticipation, calling out his name softly.
She heard him sigh again and as she opened her eyes, she saw him slowly discard his shirt. His movements were slow, unrushed and she arched her back, trying to motivate him to work faster.
His eyes focused on hers, the icy blue of them swimming with lust as he slowly pushed his pants down.
She called out his name again, closing her eyes as she groaned frustrated.
Another couple of seconds passed and she felt the bed shift gently as he climbed on.
Her eyes snapped open as she felt his lips on her thighs. She moaned out, enjoying as he kissed his way slowly up to her stomach.
She hissed, her skin sensitive from his slow progress.
"Tristan" she pleaded, her hands entwining into his hair as she tried to coax him into his usual speed and efficiency.
He hushed her, disentangling her hands from his hair with his own. He lifted them slowly to the headboard, his eyes meeting hers for a second.
"I want you" she repeated herself and he stared at her, his face unreadable.
"I'm right here" he said slowly, his eyes falling down to her chest as his hand slowly caressed the skin of her neck and down to her chest.
"Triiis" she scolded and she saw a faint smile on his face.
He leaned down, his lips now touching her chest and she closed her eyes again, arching her back. His hands slipped behind her, gently undoing the clasp of her bra.
She sighed, hoping to get him to speed up, but his hands were eternally slow as he gently moved the satin bra off her chest.
He murmured unintelligibly as he moved to kiss her breast softly, his fingers massaging it gently. He sucked a nipple into his mouth, making her hiss loudly at the exquisite feeling. He moved to her other breast slowly, his tongue darting out to lick the hardening nipple and she moaned, pleading with him to stop teasing.
He moved down to her stomach again, trailing slow kisses on her warm skin and she raised her hips in anticipation. She heard him chuckle quietly as his hands slowly pulled her panties down her legs.
She felt his warm breath on the inside of her thighs and she moaned, spreading her legs to give him room. He moved up towards her center, excruciatingly slow and her hand tensed against the headboard in frustration.
She felt his tongue flick out and touch her flushed skin as he neared his destination and she pleaded with him again to go faster. She jumped as he finally licked her slit, making her cry out from the sudden sensation. She felt his fingers part her gently, as his warm tongue moved deeper inside her, lapping softly at her entrance. She inhaled sharply, willing her hips to stay put as her eager flesh responded to his ministration. She felt his fingers enter her and he moved to suck her clit gently into his mouth. She groaned, feeling the pleasure race through her as he continued licking her. Her hands moved away from the headboard, to his shoulders, tugging on them gently, and he complied, letting her pull him up over her body.
"I need you" she whispered "please."
She opened her eyes, to see him panting, his eyes wide and his hair disheveled. He climbed up, over her, gently lowering his weight to rest on his forearms around her face. She felt his erection push against her and she raised her legs, securing them around his waist.
She arched her hips lightly, pleading with him silently and he watched her for a second, caressing the stray locks away from her face. She felt him finally push into her, eternally slow, and her eyes fluttered shut as the intense sensation took over her body. She moaned his name before forcing her eyes open again. He exhaled a rough breath, steadying his body as he remained still, completely sheathed inside her.
"God, I love what you do to me" she whispered and he moved in response, pulling out of her slowly, before slamming back into her, making her moan out again.
His movements were rough, raw, but gentle at the same time and his eyes focused on her face, before he leaned down to kiss the spot right under her ear. She moaned, the combined sensation making her lose focus, and she arched her back, letting him sink into her as far as he could. She heard him pant her name and it made her shiver, her whole body tensing as he drove into her, his speed slowly increasing.
She felt him shift, and his hands reached beneath her, lifting her hips roughly. She yelped at the sudden change and opened her eyes to see him balance himself on his knees, as he pulled her hips up to be in level with his. Her back lifted, as he held her and after gaining his leverage, he started thrusting into her again. She let out a scream, feeling him go even deeper within her, her walls clenching down around him as a reflex.
He groaned, his strong arms flexing as he held her up to level to his thrusts.
She tried thrusting up against him, joining his movements, but she soon felt all of her body slowly dissolve, her senses threatening to overload as her abdomen started to clench, inducing a strong wave of pleasure that took over her.
She screamed out his name and felt him drive into her even faster, triggering her wild spasms as she came around him, her whole body going rigid with the strong tremors. She breathed his name as she felt him slam into her one last time with a guttural moan, releasing into her as he fell forward onto his outstretched arms.
She panted for long seconds before being able to open her eyes. She saw him hunched over her, chest still heaving and eyes squeezed shut. Her hand reached out to caress his face and he smiled into her hand, kissing it lightly as he pulled out of her, falling down next to her in exhaustion. She turned towards him, continuing to caress his damp face, her whole body gently buzzing from the feelings still reverberating inside.
"Hmmm" she hummed "you definitely have a way with me" she snickered and watched as he opened his eyes to look at her, smiling lightly.
She watched his face as his eyes slowly took in her, no doubt, disheveled appearance, his eyes warm and loving as his fingers once again moved to caress her face.
She closed her eyes, feeling content and calm. She had a fleeting thought about weightlessness before she let herself drift into sleep to the rhythm of his slow caresses.