A/N – So can I just say that reviews really do make me write faster and yes that is a hint I really do enjoy reading the reviews and encouragement.

Thanks to Cassicio for the song quote for this chapter. If you have a favorite Glee song, just send me the lyrics and I'll see if it matches the chapter I'm writing.

My Future In Your Hands

"You are the only exception; you are the only exception…."

Paramore

"I ..I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude..I'll um …" Rachel suddenly feels embarrassed as she turns her head away, when she sees Quinn's face tinge further red. Seeing Quinn this way was shocking not only because she never expected Ice Quinn to be so emotional but also because she felt like she needed to do something, offer comfort of some sort even if she knew deep down, it would not be accepted.

"I need a minute, please, just give me a minute, I …" Quinn's taken by surprise at the intrusion, never expecting it to be Rachel as she takes a deep breath and pleads for time. She swallows her fear because she cannot appear vulnerable, especially not to a patient, especially not to Rachel. She's done this countless of times before, picked herself up and moved on, not expecting help or consolation and this time, it's no different.

Rachel's and Quinn's voices overlap, each trying to gauge the situation they've found themselves in. Quinn reacts first as she pushes herself forward, her arm swiping at her tears as she walks towards her desk, head kept low, not wanting to look at Rachel Berry until she's able to compose herself. "Just go through to the door on your right. I'll call one of the interns to start with the cursory exam and I'll be there to do the laryngoscopy." She prays silently that for once, Rachel will listen but as usual, the diminutive star does not.

"If..if you want to reschedule, it's ok, I can come back." Rachel had only seen Quinn cry once in High School and it was after news of her pregnancy broke. Even then, the cheerleader had done so after Glee practice, holding back her tears as best she could throughout until the very end. She had pushed away any offer for help even then and eventually ran to her car. Vulnerability was an anathema to the blond and Rachel always felt that her own naked show of emotions made Quinn uncomfortable and was one of the reasons she had been her target.

Quinn hands curl around the edge of her desk, her knuckles white as she forces all her emotions down, pushing all thoughts away in her mind, as she focuses on the issue at hand "Please just go to the room and I'll arrange for everything." She can hear the plea in her voice as she bites her inner lip, nearly drawing blood. She cannot afford to show emotion, she's not the patient here and should not draw attention to herself. She hears Rachel's soft ok and releases the breath she had been holding.

She quickly calls for one of her residents before grabbing Rachel's file and going over the simple procedure in her head. She holds the file like a talisman, focusing on it instead of Josh's death. Rachel's her patient now or at least is currently in her care and she needed to do her best and hoped that it would be enough.

#$#$#$

"I am such a big fan and I know I've said that a few times but it's so true. And I think you were robbed of that Emmy. There's no way Miley Cyrus is a better actress than you." The young doctor examining her had not stopped talking since she entered the room and Rachel did not have the heart to stop her. Anyway the constant chatter was a welcome distraction from her own problems.

"I can't believe Dr Fabray remembered. I mean I know she's brilliant and really nice but this is so amazing." Dr Lee had nearly said no when Dr Fabray had called to ask her to do the topical examination but was so glad she hadn't.

"Remembered what?"

"That I'm a big fan. I mean I only told her when I saw she had tickets to your show a few years back and she never said anything or I thought she didn't hear me, you know."

Before Rachel could probe further, she sees the door open and Quinn enter the room and she almost does a double take because Quinn looks so put together that the breakdown earlier seemed even more unlikely. However, Rachel's been in the business for so long that she can see the newly applied make up and the eye drops that still could not cover the puffiness around Quinn's brown eyes.

"Dr Lee can you please present patient's history and your findings so far." Quinn does not look at Rachel, instead focusing on her resident and the symptoms being described.

"Ms Berry has soreness in her throat, slight voice change according to her. Her mouth is sometimes numb and she's been tired the past few months but her schedule has been packed." The resident smiles and shakes her head at Rachel as if does not approve of Rachel's packed schedule. "She also has slightly swollen glands which is endemic of professional singers sometimes."

Quinn bites her lower lip, a habit since high school as her mind puts together a diagnosis that she does not like. She knows she needs to be certain though as she prepares the mirrors for a closer look. She can see Rachel staring at her from the corner of her eye but she's determined not to look at Rachel until she can be sure that she won't see any sympathy in her eyes.

The examination goes by relatively quickly as Quinn expertly sets up her equipment, maneuvering the mirrors and the scope to get the view she needed. She feels Rachel's throat convulse under her fingers and she tries her best not to show any expression when she notes that the nodules have grown bigger than was indicated in Rachel's scans. They had grown much faster than normal nodes which did not bode well. She cannot control Dr Lee though as the woman's eyes widen as Rachel looks on.

"Rachel, it's going to be over soon and I'll go over next steps with you." She finally looks at the brunette, as she removes the last of the scope. Her hands slowly feeling the sides of Rachel's neck taking note of the slight swelling as her eyes meet Rachel's wide ones.

She had seen Dr Lee's expression and intuitively knows that it can't be good news. Coupled with the heat from Quinn's hands on her neck and her detached voice just made it feel all too real that she was really going to lose her voice. She always knew that it was a possibility when she first felt unwell but it never felt real until now.

Rachel had always been brave with her emotions, never hiding them away, never thinking that they made her weak. Instead she used them to fuel her, throughout school and even when she faced rejection starting out in her career, the tears and anger made her want to do better except here, now, when she looked at Quinn, all she felt was fear. Mind numbing fear which paralyzed her and made her want to ignore her predicament and latch on to something else.

What she needs is for Quinn to be mean to her, to take on her past role because this new reality meant that she was really here and facing the possibility of not singing again. She does not know much about this new Quinn but she does remember that Quinn never liked to show weakness in front of anyone and there were no exceptions. Her voice is hoarse but the words are clear."Why were you crying in your office?"

She sees Quinn's jaw harden at her words but she needs to try and get some semblance of control back in her life even if it came at the expense of pushing Quinn into her old role. She trusts her memories of the old Quinn and cannot accept her new persona.

"That's really not relevant here, you need to.." Quinn can see that she's afraid but her words are cut off as Rachel continues.

"You don't know what I need so don't presume anything. What I need if to have this be a nightmare that I can wake up from. " Rachel sees Quinn wince at her words but she pushes on, "What I need is to know that I'll be able to sing like always, that this soreness can be cured with rest and antibiotics. What I need is for you to promise me that everything will be fine. Only that's not really going to be the case is it?" Rachel turns to Dr Lee because the unexpected hurt she sees in Quinn's face is too much to bear.

"Dr. Lee, can you go and run the tests on the sample I took." Quinn's voice is curt as she hands the sample to the young resident. "Go. I'll finish up here and discuss next steps with Ms Berry." She urges, her voice taking on a kinder tone as she sees the young resident stuck under Rachel's unwavering gaze.

She waits until she hears the door close shut before she speaks, knowing that she has a choice to make and she cannot distance herself from this if she wanted to help Rachel and make up for all her past mistakes. "I…I was crying because I lost a patient today. His name is...was Joshua Gardner. Josh was six and he wanted to be a fireman. I've operated on him twice. Only I couldn't save him today. I just wasn't good enough to save him."

It's not the answer Rachel expects or to hear the emotion in Quinn's voice, low as if deep in thought. "I'm so sorry for everything I did and said to you in high school." The apology is also unexpected.

One of the first things Quinn learnt growing up was that promises always came with caveats, her father's promised love only if she didn't disappoint him. As an Intern she learnt never to make promises to patients or to families sick with worry. Because no matter how good she was, things happened that were beyond her control. However, right here, right now, all she wanted to do was to give her promise to Rachel.

"I know I've never given you a reason to trust me but I'm asking you to do that now and in return, I promise that I will do everything I can to make sure that we protect your voice. There's research still being done and alternative treatments. " She takes Rachel's hand in hers, trying to convey both her regret of their shared past but also a promise to be different in the future. It's a big burden to carry and she's scared she's not good enough but medical science was built on miracles and breakthroughs and she prays that Rachel as always, will be the exception.

Rachel's still afraid but the conviction in Quinn's voice jolts her out of her paralysis as she slowly nods when she feels Quinn's hand tighten around her own. "Do I still need to rest my voice? As you know, I'm relatively high maintenance and need to communicate often and express myself in order to ensure that I am in touch with my fans and I still have to do interviews and publicity for the show."

Quinn smiles for the first time since she entered the room, a genuine smile that matches Rachel's tentative one. "Yes, it's still good to rest it and I hear texting is making a comeback and you can always do print interviews. Take the break Rachel, and we'll wait for the tests results to come in. In the meantime, I will find alternative treatments."

"Ok, I'm off for the next two weeks and I guess you'll call when the results come in?" It's not an overt agreement of friendship but a start as Quinn takes down Rachel's phone number and gives hers in return.

"Yes, I'll call." Quinn walks towards the door, not even turning back when she hears Rachel's final words overlap with her own whispered ones.

"I'm sorry for hurting you before."

"I'm sorry about Joshua."

The End

So tell me what you think and if the pace is ok or too slow for your liking….