A/N - You guys are amazing. Thanks so much for reviewing and the pms as well. It is amazing to know that people are reading and enjoying it. So we're onto Ch5 and reviews really do make me write faster.

My Future In Your Hands

Well it's too late tonight

To drag the past out into the light

We're one, but we're not the same

U2

The minute Tony hears the key in the lock; he jumps off the couch and pulls the door open, words already tumbling out of his mouth before his wife can kiss him. "Thank God you're home. It's 10pm and she is driving me insane, this is the fourth list she's compiled. Four lists of things she wants to do in the next fifteen days, most of which she can't do and.." He sees Tina's eyes widen and his voice takes on a resigned tone. "She's behind me, isn't she?"

He feels the tap on his shoulder and turns around to see Rachel staring at him, her arms akimbo, and mouth open to say something before she realizes that she has taken a vow of silence and all that comes out is a huff of breath that still manages to indicate her utter frustration. Instead, she grabs for the pen hanging around her neck and looks around for a notepad, one of many scattered around her apartment. She scribbles the words quickly, tears off the note and hands it to him.

"I know it's not fun for you either." Tony' voice takes on a conciliatory tone as he reads the crumpled paper in his hand. "But it's only been two days and you can't keep writing lists of things you want to do." He quickly stops her hand from writing another note; "especially if a number of them involve using your voice."

Rachel's shoulders slump as she feels Tina guide her to the sofa to sit down, her head finally resting on Tina's shoulder. They were never that close in High School as Tina gravitated more to Mercedes and Kurt. It was only after graduation that they found themselves both accepted to Julliard without having to compete since Tina had chosen to major in dance. Helping each other through freshman year created a bond that was finally cemented when Rachel introduced Tina to her future husband.

"I know this is hard but you're Rachel Berry, you spent so much time training your voice, working your craft so you deserve a break. And you need to realize that this is just as important so we're here for you even if you revert to your diva stage" Tina sees Rachel reach for her pen and scribble another note, this time taking her time to write down each word before passing it to her.

"You're welcome and it's in the car." The words soothe Rachel as she lets out a soft sigh. Her note for Tina had not only thanked her and Tony for their love and support but also highlighted that she knew she could be a pain but despite everything, she appreciated what they were doing for her and she would try and relax although being Rachel Berry, that would possibly have to entail chocolate of some sort; which thankfully Tina thought of by her last comment.

She closes her eyes and sighs again, wishing that this was all one big bad dream and she'd come awake at any moment but she feels the dryness in her throat and acknowledges that the soreness she has been experiencing never really went away although it does feel a bit better.

She would never admit it out loud but perhaps Quinn was right and she needed to trust the doctor to do her job even though it was difficult not to remember the past. However Quinn was still surprising her when she received a text message yesterday morning and another today, informing her that she was working on alternatives and that Rachel could text her about any questions she had.

Rachel had been tempted to text back her thanks but it was still difficult to think of the Doctor Quinn Fabray as being different from Head Cheerleader, Quinn Fabray. In her mind, she still could not as yet distinguish between the two, deep down terrified by the fact that people don't always change, reverting back to their old selves.

It was unsettling to think of Quinn as her doctor and even more so as a friend of some kind. Thoughts like that in high school got her slushied almost every day and she does not think she can be that open again. Dredging up her past was not something she usually did but in this instance, it reminded her that she made it through stronger and she didn't have to be afraid of texting Quinn back.

'Thanks for the text. So comfort chocolate is still ok? R'

She's surprised to hear her phone chime a few minutes later and even more surprised when she sees it's another message from Quinn. She opens it to reveal the few words which elicits her first real smile of the whole day.

'I know keeping silent is probably driving you crazy so indulge in some chocolates but no alcohol. I'm still working on those alternatives Good Night. Q'

She finally looks up at Tina and smiles again realizing that she had changed and so had Tina so perhaps Quinn had as well.

#$#$#$#

The noise in the bar is still manageable and she's sitting at the far end of the bar, away from prying eyes and with enough privacy to take the call she is expecting.

Quinn finishes the drink in front of her and signals the bartender for another. She hates the fact that in this instance, there is no difference between her and Russell Fabray. That she's using alcohol for liquid courage as much as he would use it to just get through the day. She hears her phone ring and contemplates not answering it for once although, as always, she gives in because she knows who is calling her.

"Hello." Her voice is soft and her eyes close as she hears a similar greeting over the line. Shelby's voice sounds the same it did all those years ago and for the first time, Quinn recognizes the similarity in tone to Rachel's.

"How is she?" These monthly calls had started four years ago when out of the blue Quinn received a call from a Private Investigator hired by Shelby requesting if Quinn was amenable to a meeting with her. She had refused at first, not wanting to drag up memories of the past but in the end, she needed to know that Beth was alright, her mind thinking the worse. It hadn't been as dire as Beth's health but somehow, the little girl had been teased in school for not only having no father but also for being adopted and therefore unwanted. She had been called names and told not to go to church because she wouldn't be welcomed there. Beth had asked about her mother then, if she really hadn't been wanted and if she could go somewhere else besides church.

Quinn hadn't realized she had been crying until Shelby pointed it out. She hurt for the daughter she did not know but also felt the guilt of doing the exact same thing when she had been in school all those years ago. In the end, she had agreed to share some of her experiences with Shelby and hear about Beth's life such that if or when her daughter finally asked about her, Shelby could provide some information and maybe set up a meeting if Beth wanted it.

It was difficult to hear about first concerts, book reports and grades but Quinn always understood that she had made the correct choice and in taking the calls, she was just ensuring that she would be there if Beth ever needed her regardless of her feelings of loss.

"She's good, really, really good. She had her first solo in Glee Club this week. She picked Defying Gravity." Shelby's voice is tentative, like she wants to ask a question but cannot formulate the right words.

"Ok, so why don't you sound happy. Is she being teased again? With Carmel's reputation, I thought Glee club members are not at the bottom of the food chain." Despite her protestations in high school, glee had been the one bright spot for her and she hoped that it could link her to Beth.

"No, she really is doing well. It's just that she's growing up and I'm being over protective and I think I'm pushing her away. She asked about you again." Shelby hears Quinn's intake of breath. "She doesn't know I've been in touch but I think she'll want more information."

"She knows enough." The words roll off her tongue as her hands tighten around the glass before she takes another gulp and feels the burn of the alcohol down her throat. She had known that this was always an option but she's not sure if she's strong enough to do it.

"Quinn, I don't want her to meet you either." Shelby's frustration comes through, "But she's stubborn and smart and she'll find her own way. Just think about it. We're going to out to celebrate her solo. Tell me your answer next month." Shelby doesn't say good bye as she disconnects the call as well as the tentative link between the two mothers, only Quinn still doesn't know if she'll ever feel like one.

Quinn signals for another drink as she stares at her phone, slowly scrolling through the calls and texts she had made and received, finally stopping at Rachel's number used this morning. She hates to revisit her past, only doing so when she had no other choice. It had been a polarizing experience of highs and lows, of winning Nationals and giving up Beth, of becoming head cheerleader again and bullying Rachel on a daily basis. All experiences intertwined making her who she was today. Only she still isn't sure if she's good enough for Beth or to be Rachel's doctor.

She's so lost in thought that she doesn't notice him until he speaks. "Hey, fancy meeting you here." Charlie places his arm around her shoulder as he talks into her ear. "So does this count as calling me." He smiles at her, reminding her of their shared past before handing her his drink. "You look like you could us this more than me."

Quinn stares at the drink and the implied invitation, knowing that it'll be easy to accept and not have to think about Beth or Josh or Rachel. She could for one night try and do her best to forget. It wasn't like she was reverting to her old persona but just once; she wanted to not have guilt weigh her down.

Quinn smiles back at Charlie as she reaches for the drink only to hear her phone indicate a new message. She feels his arm tighten around her shoulder as he signals to the bartender for the bill. She's not sure why she feels the need to check the message but she does.

The question is simple and Quinn can picture Rachel aggravated by the need to stay silent and looking for any outlet. It sobers her enough to remember her promise to the brunette. She may still think that she needed to make up for her past and that she still was not good enough to save Josh or meet Beth, but the least she could do was to find the alternatives she promised Rachel.

She has no trouble disentangling herself from Charlie's grip as she types back a message before paying for her drinks much to Charlie's chagrin. "Quinn, I thought we were going to, you know..." He smiles is lopsided and he looks at her, wanting her to say yes, knowing she's worth it.

"Sorry Charlie, I really need to get some work done back at the hospital." She does not tell him that she'll call because she's not sure that she would but she also does not leave him hanging as she leans in and kisses him on the cheek. " You really are a nice guy and someday you'll make someone very happy."

She waves goodbye as she turns, still managing to hear his last words despite the noise in the bar.

"So will you."

The End

Ok, I have their tentative friendship pretty much mapped out but I'm not sure who should make the first move to push it beyond friendship so tell me who you think would and extra faberry gold stars if you tell me why you chose Rachel or Quinn...