mhm, this chapter is all over the place. i won't deny it. i wrote most of it in a tanning bed on my iPhone. yeah.

*I don't own Twilight.*

~*~

Chapter Eight

Edward Cullen

The rest of the weekend flew by and before I knew it, it was Monday morning. I'd convinced Bella that since she'd taken a personal day, it was fine for her to sleep over, now we were both dressed, me for my day at school and Bella for her day hanging out at the hospital waiting for Rose to pop her kid out.

"What am I going to do without you today, baby?" We were standing at the front door, my arms loosely wrapped around her waist, "I've gotten used to sex on demand."

"Ugh," she pulled away and made her grossed out face at me. It was cute so I kissed her nose, "I swear I'm just a sex slave. That's why you keep me around."

I snorted because she was the one who constantly wanted sex. My hands slid down and cupped her ass, "That's right, Bella. The amazing blow jobs keep me going," I rubbed gently, pulling her closer to me and causing her to moan. She tilted her face up and kissed me hard the lips. Groaning softly into her mouth, I slid my hands down to the back of her thighs, hoisting her up so she had her legs around my waist. I turned so her back was to the door, our lips still connected and ground into her.

She pulled away, her face was flushed and she was out of breath, "Edward, you're going to be late."

"I don't fucking care, fuck, why aren't you wearing a dress today?" I kept rubbing against her and was surprised at how good it felt. I hadn't dry humped anyone since I was in high school. I squeezed her ass and thought about undressing her but it would be too much effort and make me even later for school. And honestly I was a lazy man.

"Oh, fuck… oh…" she whimpered and brought her hands to her breasts, tugging her nipples through her shirt and bra. There was nothing fucking hotter than my girl cursing and touching herself. I kept thrusting against her until she came with a final squeal.

"Blow job?" I asked hopefully, not wanting to cum in my pants and have to change.

"Ok, but be quick since I was," she unwrapped her legs from me and dropped to her knees, fumbling with my belt and the button to my pants. When she finally got my cock out, she cut straight to the chase, taking it all the way into her mouth. One of the great things I'd learned about Bella was that she seemingly had no gag reflex. She could take my entire dick in her mouth, no problems. No other girl had ever done this.

She sucked vigorously, making me moan. I buried my fingers in her hair and held her head still, instead thrusting into her mouth. She hummed and moaned and whimpered around me, reaching a hand down to play with my balls. Minutes later, I moaned her name as I came. Bella also swallowed. Bella was my dream girl.

She pulled away and smiled up at me as she tucked me back in my pants and buckled me back up like a good girl, which is what I told her she was.

"I'm not a dog, Edward. I hate when you say good girl like that," she rolled her eyes as I helped her stand. She went to brush her teeth and I waited for her to get back so we could leave together.

When she came back, I kissed her and held her hand as I locked up my apartment. I was sad she wasn't going to be at work today and seriously wondered what the fuck I was going to do and who I was going to hang out with if I got bored. I walked her to her car and kissed her before saying goodbye and getting in my own car.

Work was lame, Bella texted me some updates on Rose's labor, Kate asked me a million questions about where Bella was and tried to stick her boobs in my face way too many times. I couldn't help but take a look and what I saw made me even more thankful that I had Bella Swan and her amazing tits.

Rumors were buzzing about us. Students loved a good piece of gossip. Even a few of my favorite students hinted around but I reminded them that it was against school policy to gossip and nicely told them to knock it the fuck off.

Work is lame without you. – Edward

Poor baby… Rose is still barely in labor. I could have come to work and did you in the janitor's closet. – Bella

Insatiable. I still want to do it in Headmaster Aro's office. Been my dream since I was sixteen. You could make it come true. – Edward

You're so gross. If you find a way, I'll bend over his desk and pretend to be a naughty school girl, though. – Bella

Fuck, baby. If there's a will, there's a way. Winter break. It's happening, plan for it. – Edward

Stop thinking about it, you're going to get hard and all the sixteen year old girls will think it's for them. – Bella

Well…… -- Edward

….. – Bella

I was kidding! -- Edward

Hurry up and finish work. Come to the hospital. I found an awesome spot and I need you to prove it's for me. – Bella

Always for you, Bella. I'll be there soon. – Edward

The rest of the day drug by and the minute the bell rang I was out before the students even finished gathering their music. I made it to the hospital and record time and found Bella, who was sitting with Alice in a waiting room. Bella looked up and her face lit up when she saw me, "Edward!"

"Hey," I said and leaned over, kissing her softly.

"Hello, Edward," Alice said, looking up briefly from the book that was sitting on her legs, which were folded Indian style.

"Hey Alice, what's the word?" I sat next to Bella and pulled her onto my lap. I kissed her neck and inhaled her smell. I'd missed her.

"There's no word. She's like, six centimeters dilated and won't take any pain meds. We got kicked out of the room for breathing too loudly," Alice rolled her eyes before continuing, "she was in labor with Henry for three days. We should be thankful that she's gotten this far this quickly."

"Holy shit, three days?" I looked at Bella, who shrugged.

"Alice's labor with Charlotte lasted two hours, start to finish."

"Charlotte was anxious to get into the world," Alice closed her book, laughing, "She was actually born at 12:01 am ON her due date."

"Wait, why is that strange? Aren't all babies born on their due date?" I looked at Bella, who seemed reluctant to answer.

"Um, it's an estimate?"

"So the kid might not be born on my birthday?" I asked, disappointed. That was one of the things in the pro category about having this kid.

She ran her fingers through my hair and murmured, "I'm sure the baby will be born on your birthday, Edward. It probably realizes how terribly important it is to you."

I laughed at her mocking but she was right, it kind of was. If it was a boy, we could name him Edward Junior and we'd be exactly thirty years apart. It would be fucking awesome. I guess it would be alright if it was a girl but I was seriously rooting for a boy.

We sat and chatted with Alice for a while, I was about to ask Bella about this spot she'd found when Emmett came out. "She's fully dilated. They're moving her to the delivery room. I'm gonna have another son soon!" he announced before practically running back to wherever he had come from.

"Guess we better stick around, it'll be any minute," Bella whispered to me, looking disappointed and pressing her ass into my lap. She must have been thinking the same thing as me. I grabbed her hips and held her still, not wanting to deal with a hard on.

Three hours later, in which we could have gone and found this great spot Bella had spoken of, Emmett finally came back out. He was wearing scrubs and looked kind of like a loser but ecstatic, "He's here! And huge! Ten pounds, six ounces. He looks just like Henry and holy shit, I'm a dad again!"

We all called out our congratulations, as did the other people in the waiting area.

"What's my new nephew's name?!" Alice asked, bouncing in her seat, her phone ready to text Jasper.

"Shit, we haven't decided yet. We're between two names…"

Just then, Alice and Bella's phones' beeped. Bella pulled her iPhone out and Alice raised her eyebrows at the screen on her Blackberry, before reading out loud, "From Rosalie: Jax Hale McCarty is here! Ten pounds, six ounces… ouch! He's gorgeous!"

I laughed at the look on Emmett's face, he was obviously furious.

"I knew she'd fucking do that! I should have taken her phone. We were between Jax and Heath. And I bet it was a mass message so it can't be taken back," he groaned.

I looked at Bella and raised my eyebrows. She shrugged and whispered, "She's been planning it for weeks. She did the same thing when Henry was born. Emmett has a great love for Heath Ledger and thinks he should honor him by naming his son after him…"

I laughed out loud, earning a glare from Emmett, "Well," he mumbled, "let's go. You guys can meet my kid… Jax… while I kill my wife," he lead the way down the hall and through about fifteen doors that we had to be buzzed into. Finally, we entered the room where an exhausted looking Rosalie was holding a tiny baby.

"Jax, Rosie? Come on, you promised we'd think about it," Emmett grumbled.

"Well, I thought about it and Heath is a dumb name. See? Conversation over. After all, it's after Jasper…" she shook her head when he wasn't looking and mouthed, "Not really."

"Aunt Ali, Aunt Bella, come meet your new nephew!" The girls squealed and gathered around.

Bella held him first, because, they explained that Alice had gotten first dibs on Henry. Seeing her with him gave me that warm feeling in my chest again and I grinned big at her when she looked up at me, wanting her to know I wasn't freaking out. After a few minutes, Alice declared that Bella was being a 'baby hog' and took Jax from her.

"So," Rose turned to Bella, wincing a bit, "we have a question for you. Would you like to be Jax's godmother?"

By the look on her face, I knew Bella was going to start crying as she nodded and hugged Rose, "I'd love that!"

Emmett then turned to speak to me, "And we were thinking, since you've been hanging around so much and you knocked Bella up, that you should be his godfather."

"The Godfather?" I laughed, shaking his hand, "Awesome."

"Alright," Alice came over to me, "as the godfather, you get to hold him next!"

I held my hands up, "Whoa, that's ok."

Alice looked at Bella, who was still wiping tears from her eyes then back at me. She looked at Bella again, pointedly at her stomach and back at me, "You're going to have to practice sometime."

I kept my hands up and shook my head, blurting, "I dropped a baby once!"

Bella's head snapped toward me and her jaw dropped open, "What? You dropped a baby? When?!"

"Uh, I was like five… fuck, I don't know, you'd have to ask my mom. I wasn't supposed to pick it up and I did anyway and I dropped it and it cried… a fucking lot."

"So, you won't hold a child over something that happened 25 years ago, Edward? Man up, hold the kid," Alice said. I got the impression that she didn't like me very much.

I looked over at Rose, who looked skeptical. She clearly didn't want me to practice my skills with her hour old son. Alice clearly wasn't going to give in though so I sat down and held my arms out awkwardly. Alice placed him in my arms then Rosalie laughed, "Oh my god, Bella. This is the father of your child, congratulations."

Bella glared at Rose before coming over and kneeling in front of the seat, helping me adjust my arms to a more comfortable position, "He won't break, don't worry."

I looked down at the bundle in my arms. He was tiny. Not very cute, his face was round and bright red and his eyes were squinty. He had a hat on his head and was squirmier than I thought a newborn would be. I finally got comfortable and looked at Bella, who was beaming at me. Her whole face was lit up. I don't think she'd ever looked so beautiful before.

I grinned at her, knowing we were both thinking the same thing. Six more months and this would be us.

~*~

Bella Swan

Seeing Edward with Jax made me even more emotional than I had been. Every time he mentioned our baby, my heart swelled a little more. He was a little bit of a jackass and he had bruises on his arms and shins from me hitting and kicking him when he made me mad but he really was great. He always made sure I was fed, he paid for all those clothes and he now insisted on driving me to and from work, insisting that my driving terrified him and he didn't want his kid in danger. I had thrown the closest thing I could find (a metronome that sat on top of the piano in his apartment, it barely clipped his shoulder) at him when he said it but in hindsight, it was sweet that he was concerned.

In the days leading up to Christmas, Morgan Park had half days. Tuesday and Wednesday flew by but I barely saw Edward, between my check up, finishing my Christmas shopping and visiting Rose to help with Henry and Jax. On Wednesday, I was so exhausted that I called off our dinner plans in favor of lounging in my pajamas and eating alone in my bed. As much as I loved spending time with Edward, I missed quiet time and eating however much I wanted without him making fun of me.

Thursday, Christmas Eve, we headed to Alice and Jasper's, the back of Edward's car packed with gifts.

"Did you buy the whole toy store?" he had asked as we loaded the presents in.

"Well... Charlotte had a list and there were so many cute little outfits..." I trailed off, shrugging. I always went a little crazy at Christmas, a quirk inherited from my mother. He was pretty quiet and I wondered what was wrong and if it had anything to do with our impending visit to his parents' the next day. At a red light he turned to me, opening then closing his mouth.

"What, Edward?"

"I... nothing. Have you bought anything for our kid yet?"

"No," I shook my head, rubbing my stomach, "it's early. We don't even know if it's a boy or a girl and so many things could still go wrong..." I bit my lip and stared straight ahead. He started tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

"When do you find out?"

"I made an appointment for the beginning of February for the ultrasound," I snapped, annoyed that he hadn't asked to come or even insinuated that he would. I hated riding in the car with Edward because we always ended up arguing. "You know," I huffed, feeling myself get worked up, "if you bothered to come to the appointments, you'd know how the baby was doing, Edward."

I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself down but I felt angrier than I'd ever felt before. He made it sound like I wasn't trying to involve him and that it didn't concern him but I always told him the date and times of the appointments, leaving it open ended so he knew he was welcome.

"What the hell, Bella? You're going to start and argument with me now? On Christmas Eve?" he gripped the steering wheel and I could see he was annoyed, too. But I didn't care. I was too far gone in my own anger to care about his.

Throwing my hands up dramatically, I all but shouted, "Yes, Edward. I'm going to start a fucking argument right now about how you don't seem to care how our child is doing!"

"I asked, didn't I? Don't I always ask how you're feeling? Don't I go out of my fucking way to make sure you're comfortable all the fucking time? Don't I take all your shit, all your temperamental hormonal pregnancy bullshit and laugh it off even when you punch me and throw goddamn metronomes at me? Most men would have run the other way by now!" He kept running his hand through his hair and glanced over at me, "Oh, don't you fucking start crying right now."

"It was one metronome," I hissed, even though it was so beside the point, "drop me off at Alice's," I angrily wiped the tears from my eyes with my gloved hands, "I don't want you there, I don't even know if I ever want to see you again. I don't know if I want you involved with my child."

"You can't keep me away from our child, Bella. Try and I'll make it clear how fucking off your rocker you are," he spat as he pulled up to Alice's car and put the car in park, letting it idle. I felt sick. How had the night done such a complete one-eighty? Just thirty minutes ago, we were joking about how many presents I had bought and now, we were screaming at each other. I silently got out of the car, knocking on Alice's front door so someone could help me get the presents out. Jasper opened the door, the huge smile on his face fading as he saw the look on my face.

"Bells… what's wrong?" he put his hand on my shoulder, looking toward the car and squinting, "Why's Edward still in the car?"

"I just need help getting the presents," I sniffled, "can you help me so he leaves?"

"What did he do to you?"

"Nothing, Jazz. Please, just help me with the presents," I whispered. He nodded and told me to go inside and he'd take care of them.

I went inside and was greeted with the sight of Charlotte holding Henry's hand and pointing out various ornaments. It was the sweetest thing I'd ever seen, a three year old so patiently explaining that the 'Our First Christmas' ornament was special because it was the first Christmas after she'd found her way to her Mommy and Daddy. Henry took it all in with wide eyes. She explained that they didn't touch the ornaments because they might break and it'd make their mommies and daddies very sad because they'd never have their first Christmas back.

I stood and watched them until Charlotte turned and saw me, "Aunt Bewwa! Oh, you crying?"

"Oh, I'm fine, honey. Just happy it's Christmas," I forced a smile and hugged her then picked up Henry, "let's go find your mommies."

"I know where they is!" Charlotte screamed then ran ahead of me, her white dress twirling around her. I followed her, snuggling Henry close to me and inhaling his sweet scent. I knew the transition to having all of Rose's attention to having to share it with Jax was hard for him so I wanted to pay him special attention tonight. When we got to the kitchen, Alice had Christmas music playing and she was taking a pie out of the oven.

"Hey Bells!" Alice sang, then she saw my face, "Oh no. What happened? Is Edward ok?" It was almost comical how similar her reaction and Charlotte's were.

"Mommy, Aunt Bewwa is happy 'cuz it's Kiss-miss," Charlotte informed Alice with a serious face.

"Is that so?" she looked at me curiously and I nodded as Jasper walked into the room, his face red from the cold. He looked tense causing Ali to frown at him, "Where were you, honey?"

"Outside, getting the presents from Edward's car… so he could leave," Jasper sighed, clearly conflicted, "Bella, he seemed pretty torn up."

"Can we just not talk about it? Please?" I could hear the begging in my own voice and felt pathetic. There was always something. Maybe Edward was right and I was off my rocker. They nodded hesitantly, agreeing and I bounced Henry on my hip.

The rest of the night was spent avoiding the elephant in the room and trying to have a good time. Everyone was slightly toasted, except for Rose since she'd just given birth and was breastfeeding Jax and obviously me.

We opened presents, since we wouldn't see each other the next day. I had gotten Charlotte and Henry each a ton of things and a few little outfits for Jax. There were a few presents marked 'Baby Swan-Cullen' that I couldn't bring myself to open. I knew it'd bring on the waterworks and I didn't want to deal with it so I plastered a fake smile on my face and promised we'd save them for Christmas morning.

Finally, when Charlotte and Henry got cranky, I decided I could make my exit. Rosalie, Emmett and the boys were spending the night and the Hales would be joining them in the morning. Annoyed that I'd let Edward drive earlier and that everyone that was allowed to drive was wasted, I called a cab. Rose walked me out and we stood on the curb waiting in silence.

"Bella…" she started, wrapping her arm around my shoulder, "what happened?"

I sighed loudly, leaning into her and shaking my head, "I wish I could tell you. I flipped. I always flip lately. Remember how levelheaded I used to be? Completely out the window, Rose. He makes me so… angry."

"I bet the sex is really good then," she laughed, "you're passionate about each other. It's good, Bella. I've never seen you this passionate about anything or anyone."

"I love him," I whispered, "I think I keep driving him away. I threw his freaking metronome at him. And it was heavy. He's lucky I have bad aim but it did kind of hit him… he told me most men would have run the other way by now."

"Nah, Bells. He must love you too. And I'm sure he wants to be involved in what's going on with the baby but sometimes, men need to be told. They don't always take hints," she spoke softly as she stroked my hair. I furrowed my brow and looked up at her, wondering how she knew what the fight was about. She sighed, "He was texting Em and wanted to apologize for missing Christmas Eve."

"Oh," I sighed as the cab pulled up and kissed my best friend's cheek, "Merry Christmas, Rose. Give those babies kisses for me tomorrow."

I got into the cab and was thankful the cabdriver was quiet. I tipped him generously when we got to my building, knowing it must suck to work on Christmas Eve. When I got into my apartment, I changed into yoga pants and the t-shirt of Edward's I'd stolen the day I'd told him about the baby. I got into bed, snuggling under the covers, crying until I fell asleep.

~*~

I woke up at two-thirty to use the bathroom. It seemed like I could never make it through the night without waking up at least twice anymore. If it was this bad at almost fifteen weeks, I was dreading May and June. On my way back to my bedroom, I heard a loud pounding at the door. My heart started racing, wondering who the hell would be at my door at this time of night and how they even got into the building. Quietly, I tiptoed over to the door and looked out the peephole.

Edward was leaning against the wall and even through the peephole I could tell he was a mess. I unlocked the door and opened it slowly, squinting at the brightness of the hallway, "Yes?"

He stumbled past me into my apartment and I turned the light on, realized he was probably wasted. His hair was a mess and his eyes were bloodshot. Then I smelled him. Yep, he reeked of alcohol.

"What do you want, Edward?" I put my hand protectively over my stomach, as if he could somehow take the baby away from me now.

"I don't fucking know what I want, Bella," he slurred as he sat on the couch.

"It's almost three o'clock in the morning, I'm exhausted. Please leave so I can go to sleep."

"I almost fucked someone else tonight," he stated in a matter of fact tone. My breath caught in my throat and I felt the tears spring to my eyes. I rubbed them with my fists, willing myself not to cry. I felt sick.

"Please leave," I whispered, wanting him to go so I could breakdown in peace. I started formulating plans in my head. I could quit Morgan Park Academy. I would never have to see him again. I'd get full custody and I'd deny that he was the father. My stomach lurched at the thought of never seeing him again, not seeing him with our child.

"I went back to her place with her but I didn't, I couldn't. Tanya… this girl was all fucking over me but I just… she felt wrong. She smelled wrong. Her lips, her moans… she was all wrong," he was shaking his head. He seemed to be talking more to himself and I wondered if in his inebriated state he didn't realize that every word that he said was sending a stabbing pain to my heart. Maybe he did and that was the point. My hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. I felt like I might pass out.

"Leave," I said, louder now and pointed to the door with a shaking hand, "leave or I will call the cops."

"I didn't do it, Bella!"

"But you… I could never think of another man touching me in any sort of way. Not since the first time we… and you…" I made a disgusted sound, "you kissed someone else? You touched someone else, made her moan? I'm supposed to be grateful for the fact that you didn't fuck her?" My heart was pounding in my chest and tears were streaming down my face, "You know what? I wish you'd never fucked me. I wish I hadn't fallen in love with you. I wish I wasn't pregnant with this daily reminder of my epic mistake that was ever meeting you. Now get out, Edward!" my voice had slowly escalated and I was screaming by the end of my tirade, my chest heaving.

He opened his mouth to talk but I opened the door, standing with my arms crossed. He finally stood from the couch and walked over to me, standing in front of me for a minute and trying to meet my eyes. I refused to look at him. He finally walked out and I slammed the door behind him, chaining it shut.

I slid to the floor and sobbed, rubbing my stomach and silently apologizing to the baby for the things I had said and wishing I had never met Edward Cullen.

~*~

i promise, it gets better! just stick it out and you'll see. reviews get previews of the next chapter. i am not above bribing people.