A/N - First, a PSA for V-squared: Sweetie, put down the rope and come off the ledge. Just trust me that it will be fine :). For freshtilapia, yes, the name is from Little Women. I have a first edition and collect vintage copies.

Longest Chapter to date and yes, I did feel guilty for leaving it where I did the last time. Lots of things happen some of which you won't expect...

My Future In Your Hands

I can't fight this feeling any longer

And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow

What started out as friendship, has grown stronger

I only wish I had the strength to let it show

REO Speedwagon

Their first kiss is tentative, a whispered touch really, filled with promise and hope. Neither one pushing forward nor pulling back, both just existing in a sweet moment.

"Rachel!" Marcie's anxious voice echoes within the apartment as Quinn turns her head just in time to see Rachel's manager enter the room. "I heard about the impromptu interviews. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I just finished with the terms of your new recording contract and I'm so sorry. Are you feeling better?"

Marcie could not hide her surprise at Quinn's presence as she stares at the young doctor sitting next to Rachel. She had last seen her sleeping in Rachel's room and she had meant to wake her up only they both looked so exhausted that she didn't have the heart to. "Dr. Fabray, what are you doing here, is Rachel alright?"

"I'm fine." Rachel responds automatically, although she is looking at Quinn who is trying her best not to look at her as she turns towards Marcie. "Quinn and I …"She sees Quinn stiffen and it actually hurts her to see that. "We were just talking about the next few rounds of treatment." She swallows audibly, as she feels tears in her eyes.

Marcie rushes to sit next to her, "If you're fine, then why do you look like you're about to cry." Her hand gently rubbing circles on Rachel's back.

All Quinn can process is the fact that she kissed Rachel Berry or to be absolutely honest, she had been expecting Rachel Berry to kiss her. It's surreal because the thought had never crossed her mind until about five minutes ago when she had been observing Rachael talking on the phone. She had only had one experience with a woman and even then, it was just Brittany making out with her to make Santana jealous after winning their last National cheerleading title. Brittany had tried to take it further, her hand trailing down her back but Quinn had come to her senses then and stopped it from getting too far because she didn't want to come between Santana and Brittany. She tenses up when Rachel says her name, not wanting to hear a denial.

What she realized here was that she wouldn't have stopped Rachel and that thought alone frightens her. She can see Rachel from the corner of her eye and knows that she needs to say something. "You do need to rest." she places her hand on Rachel's knee before continuing, "we can continue our...talk tomorrow." Quinn finally looks at Rachel, trying to convey everything with one look, hoping she would understand that she wasn't running away.

For one perfect second, Rachel had kissed Quinn, she had held her close and breathed her in. But now, all she can think of is that she's tired and confused and Quinn had pulled back first, not even wanting to look at her until now. She can accept them as friends but she doesn't think she can think beyond that right now as she nods at Quinn's words. Quinn's bright hazel eyes meet her own but Rachel does not hold the gaze, not wanting to acknowledge the blond. "I think I've taken up enough of your time. Thank you for staying with me. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Rachel, you need to eat and rehydrate." Quinn finally looks at Marcie, "if anything happens, you need to call me, day or night. If I'm in surgery, just tell the service and they'll get the message to me." Quinn feels like she's abandoning Rachel even though she can see that Rachel seems to want her to leave. She accepts that their moment was probably an anomaly of sorts and she can accept that she is still Rachel's doctor and more importantly, her friend. She does not acknowledge the disappointment she feels, pushing it away in order to move on as she leaves Rachel's apartment.

#$#$#$

Quinn knows that she tends to use her hours at the free clinic to work through her issues. The time spent in general practice allows her to work through her problems and do some good, dispensing flu meds and diagnosing everyday ailments, nothing too stressful and giving her time to think.

"Mrs. Charles, your blood pressure is too high, are you taking the medication I prescribed?" Quinn sees the woman meekly shake her head, an embarrassed look gracing her face and realizes that she probably used her medication money to buy milk for the granddaughter she was looking after, the one that her seventeen year old daughter saddled her with after running away. "Diana still not back?" again she sees the woman shake her head, worry and fear making her look older beyond her years.

"Here" she pulls out a fifty-dollar note from her purse and places it in the woman's hand. "You can pay me back next time and give me interest in those amazing sugar cookies you make." she pushes the money into Mrs. Charles hand curling her fingers around it, knowing that the woman would be too proud to accept it otherwise.

"Thank you, Dr. Fabray. I bet you mother is proud of you." She sees the young doctor's face fall and quickly adds," If not, I'm sure there's someone who loves you with all their heart because you deserve it."

Quinn smiles, not wanting to correct her or admit that apart from Alex and maybe Mercedes, she really didn't have anyone in her life who loved her for who she was. She had never really been in love; all of her relationships never lasting more than a few months, always fizzling out because she was too busy with classes and med school and then just because her patients had to come first.

It never really bothered her because it was difficult missing something she had never really experienced. She thought she had come close with Puck, the way her heart would race when he sang to her or when he talked of them being a family. In the end, she could have loved him only he couldn't love her at least not after she gave Beth up. With Sam, it had been all physical attraction on both sides, no emotional ties. She thinks what she feels for Rachel is different but she can't identify the feeling either. All she knows is that when she's with Rachel, she feels more like herself than she's ever felt before.

"Thank you. Remember to take your medicine and you can bring in your granddaughter if she needs any of her shots."

She checks her phone hoping to see a message despite knowing that Rachel would most probably be asleep. She sees four messages but all from Shelby's number. Quinn quickly dials back. "Hi, Shelby, what's wrong?"

"Quinn, you have to come. She got into an accident again. You have to come."

#$#$#$

"What's wrong?" She hears Tina's question as she again turns on her side, trying to find a comfortable spot in her bed but failing miserably. Rachel feels cold as she burrows further into the covers, her muscles ache but it pales in comparison to the ached she feels in her chest when Quinn left. How can she explain this to Tina without sounding like she has fallen for Quinn Fabray. That thought alone scares her not because they're both women but because she cannot imagine Quinn would reciprocate her feelings.

Rachel had grown up surrounded by love, accepting that it came in different forms and was as fluid as it could be. She had crushes on both sexes for as long as she could remember, never really acting on it until Finn and subsequently the only relationships that she had was with her career and a few costars, all of them male except for a short fling with a dancer a few years back.

Lisa had been tall and blond; she had reminded Rachel of Brittany or any number of Sue's cheerios. The relationship didn't really last because Lisa, wanted to use her for her career and the notoriety of turning Rachel Berry gay. Marcie had worked overtime to quash any stories before it got out and then Troy came along which was its own unmitigated disaster.

"I .Can't .Sleep." Rachel feels the bed dip next to her as Tina climbs in and turns to face her, lying on her side.

"I can see that but that's not what I'm asking. I talked to Marcie and Tony told me about the interviews and what happened in the hospital...with Quinn" Tina knows she remembers high school differently from Rachel. She had been largely ignored and only really felt targeted when she had been with Rachel or Kurt and in the end, she chose to remain in the background, only coming out when Mike had asked her out and during glee practices and concerts.

Quinn had never been mean to her the way she had been to Rachel but it didn't mean that Tina trusted her now. Rachel had a forgiving heart, embracing Tina when they were at Julliard and helping her in her career when she made it big. So she considered it her duty to look out for Rachel. She had failed with Troy and barely managed stopping herself from hitting Lisa when the dancer had threatened to go public with the relationship. In the end, Tony had to cast her in the project he was working on, the part that Tina had won legitimately. But it was worth it as long as Rachel was protected.

She hears Rachel's intake of breath at the sound of Quinn's name and figures that something had happened. "I swear if she hurt you again, I'm going to.." Tina sees Rachel's small smile but it does not reach her eyes.

"No, she apologized and she wanted to stay. I wanted her to leave, it was me. I asked her to leave, only I didn't want her to go." the words tumble out and she knows she's not making any sense but she feels tired and her head hurts.

"Ok sweetie, you are not making sense. If you wanted her to stay, why did you ask her to leave?" She had seen the way the two women had interacted over the past two months and knows that there is a bond there although she's pretty sure it hasn't really gone beyond the hand holding and she's not sure if she wants it to go beyond that knowing that Rachel couldn't take another heartbreak especially having firsthand knowledge of how mean Quinn could get.

"Because if she stayed, I would have said or done something I probably shouldn't say or do to her because she's Quinn Fabray and I'm Rachel Berry. She's Quinn Fabray" Rachel stresses the name, bringing forth all her emotions to the forefront as she feels her eyes tear up and Tina's hand reach out to wipe the stray tear that has escaped. "I can't feel like this, please god, let me stop feeling like this." Rachel closes her eyes as she turns away. She's not freaking out because she thinks she has feelings for a woman but because the woman is Quinn.

Tina wraps her arms around Rachel, placing her head on the brunette's shoulder and whispers in her ear, "It's ok, it'll pass and we're here." She feels the heat radiating off Rachel's body and wants to comment on it only to hear Rachel's soft voice.

"What if it doesn't pass? I can't feel this way, I don't think I want to." The pounding in her head is getting worse and she feels her voice slur.

"Then we take your mind off her, Tony, Marcie and I will be with you always and your dads called me. They want to fly in and I think it'll be good. Rachel?" Tina feels Rachel stiffen in her arms and then go limp. "Rachel? Sweetie?" She springs up, turning Rachel over as she sees Rachel's head loll around, her eyes closed.

"Marcie!" Tina doesn't realize she's screaming as she shakes Rachel, trying to wake her. It's only when she feels Marcie's hand on her shoulder does she stop. "We were just talking and she lost consciousness."

Marcie places one hand on Rachel's forehead as she grabs the phone on the side table, dialing for an ambulance. "She's burning up. I think she may have an infection because of the chemo. Dr. Drew said it could happen at any time. We need to get her to the hospital. Can you call her dads?"

Tina nods as she fumbles to take out her phone.

#$#$#$

The three of them are in the car following the ambulance. Marcie had tried to ride with Rachel but she wasn't family and didn't think to lie. She sees Tony's knuckles turn white as he tightly grips the steering wheel. "What did her dads say?" Tina's staring out the window as she answers.

"They're trying to get the first flight out. She told them she was fine and they're angry she didn't tell them sooner." Tina had disagreed with Rachel's decision, only capitulating when the diva had explained her family history and how her dads would feel guilty because they would think one of them had caused her to have cancer. She loved them too much to worry them unnecessarily. So Tina took the brunt of their anger and fear on the call, knowing that they loved Rachel and were afraid for her. "She's going to be fine." She says the words like a promise, hoping that they're true, praying that they will be.

"We have to call Dr. Fabray. Rachel would want us to call Quinn." Marcie remembers the doctor's words and realizes that she would want to be at the hospital, especially after her confession in Rachel's room the last time.

"No, I... I don't think that's a good idea." Tina turns to stop Marcie from making the call only to hear her husband's voice.

"Honey, Rachel may not want Quinn there but she's going to need Dr. Fabray." He sees his wife's eyes widen as she takes in his words.

"Rachel is going to be fine." There is no conviction behind her tone, only hope as she nods to Marcie, silently praying that Quinn's promise to Rachel really meant something.

#$#$#$

Quinn slings her bag onto her shoulder as she hears the boarding announcement for her flight. She had called Alex from her car, telling him about Beth and asking for the time. He had known about her past but never pried, always leaving it to her as to how much she wanted to share with him. Even now, he had acquiesced to her leave of absence only asking her to promise to call him if she needed help.

She checks her phone one last time, hoping to see a text from Rachel and is startled by a call from an unfamiliar number. She feels a chill all of a sudden and a feeling of dread overtakes her as she answers the call only to hear Marcie's frantic voice as the final announcement for her flight is made.

"Quinn, you have to come, it's Rachel, she's unconscious and she's on her way to the hospital."

End pt 11

Ok, again, please don't flame me. Next chapter is going to be entitled Beth. The song is a great fit. I look forward to hearing what you think of this chapter and what you expect in the next one.