sorry i didn't get teasers out! i had a family emergency so i decided just posting the whole chapter would be easier and more beneficial for everyone, right?

*I don't own Twilight*

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Chapter Ten

Bella Swan

When we finally got back to Rose's, it was almost three in the afternoon and the back of her SUV was loaded with bags. Rose claimed to need a whole new wardrobe while she lost baby weight, Alice insisted I needed even more clothes while I put on baby weight and I insisted that Alice just needed new clothes. Not to mention the things that we'd bought for Charlotte, Henry and Jax. I had even caved and bought something for the baby.

We were laughing as we entered the house and the sight was shocking. There was… stuff… all over the place. Burp cloths, blankets, toys. The boys couldn't be seen but heard from some place in the house. Both Jax and Henry were crying.

"Oh my God!" Rose looked panicked, "Emmett?!"

"Uh, we're in the living room!" Emmett called back, clearly sounded harried. Rose practically ran back and Alice and I followed. Edward was holding Jax and rocking him, trying to get him to stop screaming and Henry was crying, "My mama, my mama."

As soon as Henry saw Rose, his little face relaxed and he reached for her, "Mama!" Rose took him and hugged him tight, "Did you miss mama, baby boy?" she asked quietly as he nodded, grabbing her hair in his fist and holding onto it, tears still running down his face.

I went over and took Jax from a distressed looking Edward, "Bad day?"

"You have no idea," he muttered, sharing a look with Emmett. Jax immediately started rooting and it was obvious that he was hungry.

"Uh, he's hungry," I held him up so his face wasn't near my chest, my face turning pink. Alice and Rose both laughed at how uncomfortable I seemed because this had happened before with both Henry and Charlotte when they were breastfeeding. Edward, on the other hand, looked just as uncomfortable as I felt.

"Rosie, he won't take a bottle. He's a boob man," Emmett said proudly, even though his son had probably been crying for a while. Rose rolled her eyes and sat, keeping Henry on one side while she situated herself for feeding Jax. I got her the boppy and laid Jax across it. Edward shielded his eyes when she pulled up her shirt and unlatched the nursing bra.

"Uh, I should go," he said, clearly tired of being around the kids, he looked at me with raised eyebrows, "do you want to talk tonight?"

"I told Alice I would babysit Charlotte so her and Jazz could have a night out alone. She's spending the night at my apartment," I grinned over at Alice. She had told us that they were trying for another baby but that it was hard because Charlotte still wanted to sleep in bed with them at night. She'd also said she was ovulating and I formulated a plan to help. Charlotte was always asking to spend the night in my 'pretty bed' so when Alice called to check on them, Jasper put Charlotte on the phone and I asked if she'd want to do that tonight. The squeals of excitement almost deafened me.

It was also a little selfish on my part. I knew Edward was going to stop by and I wanted to talk to him about what happened last night. I was hoping he wouldn't try to have sex with me with Charlotte in the apartment.

"Can I stop by?" he asked, his hands in his pockets and his ears were a little red.

"I have rules," Alice said before I could answer, "do not curse in front of my child. Do not fight in front of my child. Do not have sex in front of my child."

"Ew, Ali! I would never," I put my hands on my hips, scowling at her. Plus, I wasn't planning on having sex with Edward anytime soon. Not until he explained to me what had happened. Not until we were clear on what each of us expected out of this relationship. Not until I knew I could forgive him, totally and completely.

"I know you would never…" Alice eyed Edward warily, clearly still not completely sold on the idea of my forgiving him. Edward held his hands up in surrender, smirking slightly. Something told me he didn't care about what she thought very much. But I was glad he wanted to come over. I had done a lot of thinking today and talked a lot with Rose and Alice. I walked over to him and he wrapped his arm around me.

"How about you go home, shower, get changed and come over? And… oooh, how about you stop and pick up a pizza? Actually, maybe two, please? Charlotte loves pizza," I suggested, snuggling against him, "we can hang out with Charlotte then talk."

"Sounds good," he kissed me lightly on the lips before letting go. He went over and gave Emmett a one armed guy hug, thanking him for letting him stay. He peeked at Rose and looked relieved to see that she'd covered herself and a feeding Jax with a blanket and thanked her too, then leaned down to Henry's level and bumped fists with him. I was glad to see that today had been educational for Henry.

After he left, Alice laughed at me, "He's whipped."

"He's not whipped," I defended him weakly, knowing he kind of was.

"Dude, if that was me, I would say call me when the kid's asleep and I'll be over. You say go home, shower, bring me pizza and he agrees," Emmett chucked, shaking his head and sitting next to Rose on the couch. I rolled my eyes but thought about how true it was. He was pretty good to me. But I hoped he realized he could say no.

"He's a good guy." I mumbled, "Alright, I'm getting my stuff and leaving!" I grabbed Rose's car keys and went out to her car, transferring the bags with my name to her car. I blushed at the bags marked with the store name Isabella Fine Lingerie.

We'd gone into the upscale store for Rose to get some new nursing bras and I'd ended up getting fitted by the on-site 'boobologist' and came out with a ton of new bras that didn't pinch and that I was sure wouldn't leave red marks and panties that matched. And maybe I picked up a few chemises, and camisole and short combinations. I spent far too much money but now that I had someone to wear sexy things for, it was hard to resist. And that was just the first lingerie store. In La Perla, I picked up a rose colored babydoll that was made of silk and had a draping neckline and lace at the hem, along with a few sexier, less practical bra and panty sets that I thought Edward would enjoy.

Even though I swore to myself over and over that Edward and I were on a hiatus from sex, just until we figured things out. But I had to admit, it had been since Sunday since we were together and it was Saturday now. Almost a full week and I missed feeling him on me, around me, in me. I shivered and felt my nipples tighten, not from the cold but the thought of the last time we'd had any sort of sexual contact. Me on my knees and him fucking my mouth… before him, I'd never been a big fan of that particular act but his reactions definitely made it worth it.

He cheated on me, I reminded myself. He cheated on me on Christmas Eve, of all days. With a slutty girl who worked at Twilight. No action until he explained himself to me, told me what he had been thinking.

Getting back to the task, I picked up a bag from Bloomingdales where I had picked up a pair of Juicy Couture pants and ignored Rose and Alice's mocking of them. They were black and said 'Juicy' in small print on the hip, instead of the ass. I could live with that. Alice also helped me pick out a few dresses to wear to work that were professional but didn't scream maternity.

Saks had a bigger maternity section and I was thrilled to find maternity jeans without the belly panel. I bought three pairs of Rock & Republic jeans, one pair black skinny jeans and the other two boot cut and different shades of darker wash.

I'd also managed to sneak in a few outfits for Charlotte without Alice noticing. She'd admired them but claimed that Jasper would kill her if she spent another dime on clothes for her. I planned on dressing her in the Little Marc Jacobs gray Miss Marc dress tomorrow with a black long sleeved shirt under it and black tights to surprise Alice when she picked her up. I figured I'd cut the tags off the other items and pack them in the bag so Alice couldn't return them.

Once in the baby section, I couldn't help myself. I felt like I needed to buy something that acknowledged that this baby was real. I picked out a personalized American Terry Company Newborn Baby Box, which contained a towel that was to be personalized with the baby's name, a wash cloth and booties. They were white and trimmed with yellow, making it unisex. Since we weren't sure if the baby was a boy or girl yet, I paid them extra to stitch 'Cullen' as we shopped. I wanted to let him know that the baby would have his last name. I figured I'd wrap them and put them with Edward's Christmas presents that I wanted to give him tonight.

I knew I went overboard today and I definitely surprised both Rose and Alice, it was definitely out of character for me to spend thousands of dollars so carelessly but I couldn't help it. I felt so much better, especially after purchasing the set for the baby.

I finally finished transferring my goods and went in, putting Rose's key in her purse. I smiled when I saw Rose passed out on the couch, holding both boys. Emmett and Alice were chatting quietly. I silently waved and mouthed to Alice that I'd see her later.

On the drive home, I felt anxious. I couldn't wait to see Edward. I got there and unloaded all the bags, carrying them to the elevator. When I got to my floor, I was surprised to see Edward already waiting outside my door, his hair still wet.

"Wow that was quick!" I said, smiling. He came over when he saw all the bags and took the majority of them from me, giving me my favorite toothy grin.

"Wow, you guys had fun today, huh?" He tried to peek in the bags.

"Hey, no looking, buddy! There's top secret stuff in there," I unlocked my apartment door and let us in, turning the lights on and setting the bags I still held on the floor. He put all the backs down except for the La Perla one.

"Can I look in just this one?" he wiggled his eyebrows at me and I laughed, shaking my head, "Especially not that one, Cullen."

I took the bag from him, along with the others containing lingerie and the present for the baby and carried them to my room, stashing them in my closet, "How long were you waiting, Edward?" I called out as I kicked off my shoes and pulled off my jeans, throwing them in the hamper before looking in my dresser for other pants to pull on. I really wanted the Juicy ones but I'd already taken off my jeans… I rolled my eyes, it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before.

"Not long," he answered and I heard the bags rustling so I walked back in the living room to see what he was doing. Sure enough, he was snooping, "I already hid all the interesting stuff," I said as I bent at the waist and started looking through the bags for the Juicy pants. I heard him freeze and mutter, "Jesus, Bella."

"What?" I looked over my shoulder at him. My face turned bright red when I realized I was wearing a thong. So my ass was basically hanging out. "Oh my god, I'm sorry!" I finally found the pants and pulled them on, without cutting the tags off.

"Uh," he tried to discreetly adjust himself, "it's alright. Good even. You look good."

I blushed even deeper red and went to the kitchen, taking out scissors and cutting the tags off, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable… I forgot I was wearing a thong."

"Hey, I'd never pass up the chance to see your ass. It's amazing," he walked over and patted me gently on the butt, "The pizza should be here soon."

"So should Charlotte," I smiled a little wistfully at him, wishing we had the full evening alone. To talk. Just to talk. About Tanya.

My stomach growled loudly causing us both to laugh. "Baby's hungry?" he asked, hugging me close to him.

"Baby's like… always hungry, Edward," I rested my head on his chest as someone buzzed up. It was both the pizza and our overnight guest. I buzzed them in and Edward offered to wait for them while I put the rest of the bags in my room. By the time I was coming back to the living room, the pizza guy was gone and Charlotte was running around, Alice and Jasper already gone.

"Hey pumpkin!" I said and kneeled, holding my arms out for her.

"Hey, Aunt Bewwa!" Charlotte ran toward me and jumped into my lap, kneeing me in the stomach. I winced and held her still for a second, glad Edward was in the kitchen and didn't see it. After our conversation, I understood his perspective on protecting me a little better but I knew he was still high strung about anything possibly hurting me.

"You have to be careful with Aunt Bella, ok Charlotte?" I said, hugging her close.

"I be careful always!" she held out her hands, as if this proved that she was careful.

"You have to be super careful though… if you can keep a secret, I'll tell you why. Can you keep a secret?" I said softly to her, playing with her ponytail. She nodded seriously so I leaned in and whispered, "I have a baby in my belly, just like Aunt Rose did."

Her jaw dropped and she squealed before she looked confused, "But who put-ed it there? Aunt Rose said Uncle Em put-ed the baby in her stummy."

"Um, Edward did."

"Edward did what?" Edward asked as he came back in the room, smiling down at us.

"You put-ed in a baby in Aunt Bewwa's stummy!" Charlotte laughed and bounced in my lap, clearly thinking this was the best thing ever then patted my stomach, "Hi baby in Aunt Bewwa's stummy!"

My stomach growled and Charlotte jumped up, her eyes wide, "It was talkin'!"

Edward and I both laughed and I stood up, "No, I'm just hungry," I took her hand and lead her to the kitchen. Edward helped her into the booster seat that I had on one of the chairs from when I watched her a lot over the summer. He put a plate in front of her and I was surprised to see that he'd already cut up the pizza into little pieces.

"Wow, look at you," I smiled at him and grabbed two slices before sitting down.

"Uh huh. I'm a teacher, you know," he smirked, obviously proud of himself for having thought of it. He'd even found the special little plate and fork that I had for her.

I wondered if this was how it'd be in a few years. Us, with our child, eating dinner around the table every night, would we be married? Would we even be together? Would we have more kids? I knew we'd never get anywhere if I constantly wandered about the ifs and the buts. Sitting there, eating dinner with Charlotte and Edward, I felt more relaxed than I had in weeks.

We laughed and joked with Charlotte and she carried on full conversations with the baby in my stomach. She ate three pieces of pizza, which amazed Edward but I knew she could pack it in. I ate six, which also amazed Edward who only had four. I finally explained to him that I'd always eaten a lot and it wasn't just the pregnancy, no matter how much I tried to say it was.

After dinner, we played The Ladybug Game, which in the middle of each game, Charlotte would announce that she'd won and we had to start all over. Edward, who apparently did not have much patience for cheating three year olds, hid the all of the Aphid chips in his pockets and claimed they'd gone to sleep for the night. I could tell Charlotte didn't buy it but she reluctantly gave in. Edward was lucky I was able to distract her while he put them back because Charlotte apparently did not have much patience for lying twenty-nine year olds.

I figured it'd be easiest to get Charlotte to fall asleep if we were watching a movie in bed so I changed her into a pull up and pajamas and we all went into my room. Charlotte made herself at home in the middle of my bed.

"What movie do you want to watch, honey?"

"The Hangover."

"Ariel!"

They both spoke at the same time. Did Edward honestly think I was calling him honey? And did he seriously just suggest that we watch The Hangover in the presence of a three year old? He grinned at me, showing me that he was just messing with me and I kissed him quickly before grabbing The Little Mermaid and turning it on.

"Aunt Bewwa, you get on this side," Charlotte patted the left side of the bed, "And Edward, you get on this side, just like my mommy and daddy do!"

I climbed into bed, stretching out. Edward took off his shoes and did the same, seemingly a little reluctant. Charlotte wasn't having any of that though because she snuggled up to him and used his chest as a pillow as she watched the movie. I must have fallen asleep because suddenly someone was shaking my shoulder gently and whispering my name. I squinted as I opened my eyes, "Hmm?"

"Kid's asleep, let's go talk," Edward whispered, Charlotte was still laying mostly on him and I helped him move her without waking her. I whispered for him to go ahead and started the movie over so if Charlotte woke up she wouldn't be scared. Then I grabbed the bag from Saks with the baby stuff in it and another bag that contained Edward's presents. The baby stuff wasn't wrapped but I didn't think he would care. It was a gesture more than a present, anyway. I also grabbed the presents from Christmas Eve that had been marked for the baby and by the time I made it to the living room, my hands were full.

"Whoa," he said, taking the bags from my hand and setting them on the coffee table. I sat on the couch and yawned, still not completely awake. "What's all this?"

"Presents from Christmas Eve that say to Baby Swan-Cullen that I didn't want to open without you, your Christmas presents and a… gesture," I spoke quietly, "I figured we'd open presents then have our talk. What do you want to open first?"

"Uh, actually, I have your Christmas presents too. We can do the ones to the baby first," he looked nervous and I scooted close enough to him so we could both see the gifts. I was excited because these were our baby's first presents.

In the first box from Rose and Emmett was a pale green chenille blanket that was the softest thing I'd ever felt. The second was a Mustela Newborn Set, which I explained to Edward was the best smelling baby wash and shampoo ever. I opened the cap on the shampoo and held it to his nose so he could see for himself and he nodded, "Smells like Jax."

I laughed, "That's because this is what Rose and Alice both use and I've always loved it."

In the package from Alice and Jazz was a bucket full of Elegant Baby bath toys. It seemed like Alice had bought a bunch of the sets and mixed them together. There were stars, boats, helicopters and all sorts of animals, along with a white hooded towel set, with pale green trim. I was pretty confident that they'd coordinated.

I grinned at him, more awake now and excited, unable to keep still in his lap, "Now your presents!"

"No, wait, there's one more for the baby," he mumbled, pulling out a bag from under the coffee table that I hadn't realize was there, "from my parents. They brought it on Christmas but with everything going on…"

He put the heavy box in my lap and I looked back at him curiously. He kind of shrugged his shoulders and I ran my hands carefully over the wrapping. The tag simply said Baby and I wondered if Edward had told them about the last name debate. I carefully removed the paper to reveal a plain white box. I opened it and gasped. It was a black leather album, that had a silver plate that was engraved with "Baby Cullen" but what got me was the cover had a space for a picture and in that spot was one of the pictures from the first ultrasound.

I turned to Edward, whose ears were red and he was rubbing the back of his neck, "I made a copy. Copies. I gave one to my parents and they must have used it for this."

I put it carefully on the coffee table then threw my arms around his neck. He seemed surprised for a second but started rubbing my back.

"Your parents are so great," I sniffled quietly, "my mom doesn't even know yet. I'm awful. Can I call them and say thank you?"

"Your relationship with your mom is different, Bella. I've always been close to my parents. They live closer. We can call them baby, but I doubt they're up. Let's wait until tomorrow, alright? And I tried to tell them the last name wasn't going to be Cullen but…" he shrugged helplessly.

I shook my head, letting him go and standing up, grabbing the bag with the set that I'd bought for the baby and handed it to him.

"What's this?" He looked in the bag then at me, clearly confused.

"Open it, you'll see," I sat next to him and watched, biting my bottom lip. He set the box on the coffee table and lifted the lid, first pulling out the booties, "Cute," he remarked then took out the wash cloths and finally the towel. I could tell he didn't see the name sewn in so I stood and unfolded the towel, holding it up. His eyebrows furrowed together and he kept looking between the towel and my face, "Wait… did you get that done?"

I nodded slowly and he pulled me onto his lap, kissing me slowly. I put the towel next to us and put my arms around his neck again and my legs around his waist, wanting to be as close to him as possible. I whimpered softly into the kiss, feeling his hardness between my thighs, so close to exactly where I wanted it. I squirmed against him, trying to find that friction. Then I suddenly remembered. Charlotte in the next room. Edward cheating. I bit my bottom lip to keep it from quivering.

I pulled away, moving off his lap and he leaned over, kissing my temple softly. He looked sad, like he knew what I was thinking. He picked up the towel and inspected it before tracing his last name gently with his finger. "So the last name is really going to be Cullen?"

"If you still want it to be…"

"Of course I do. I'm just surprised you decided to do that after…" he trailed off and folded up the towel carefully, putting it back in the box with the other items.

I sat back and rubbed my stomach, "Whether we're together or not, you're the baby's father. It should be a Cullen. At worst, we'll hyphenate."

"You still have other presents to open," he reminded me and I sat up a little straighter.

"You didn't have to get me anything."

"Uh huh. Any girl who says that is lying," he smirked at me and reached into the bag, pulling out a little blue Tiffany box. I gasped softly because it was the exact same size that their rings came in. I knew because my two best friends' rings had come from there and they'd both found the boxes weeks before and mulled over them. I quickly snapped out of it, knowing there was no way he'd propose, two months into our relationship. Not now, not after the Hell that was last night. He chuckled at my expression and handed me the box, which had a bow on top.

I took it from him, "Edward… you probably spent way too much."

"Quiet, you're not allowed to complain about Christmas presents, Swan."

I carefully opened the box and gasped louder this time. It was a simple but perfect for me because I liked simple. It sparkled in the dim light and I grinned at him. It was a platinum chain with a diamond encrusted B. It was perfect.

"B… for Bella and baby," he grinned and I hugged him again then pulled away and kissed him all over his face.

"I love…" You, you, you. "…it!" I wanted to say the words. But thinking about what had happened, I couldn't. It hurt my heart.

I think he knew what I'd stopped myself from saying because his grin faltered momentarily. Then he reached into the bag and handed me an envelope. I opened it and there was a gift certificate to a spa for all sorts of treatments for pregnant women, "Oooh, I can get a massage!"

"Uh huh," he laughed, "you can get whatever you want."

I felt like my gift was lame in comparison but there was nothing I could do about it now. I handed him the present, biting my lip. It was a camcorder and a really freaking expensive camcorder. I had no idea how much they cost until I'd gone to the store and asked the assistant for help. Of course, I think they knew they were pulling one over on me when they picked out a fifteen hundred dollar video camera.

"Holy shit, this is awesome!" Edward grinned at me, kissing my cheek then pulling back to examine the box.

"I thought it'd be good for when the baby's with you. You can videotape everything. I don't want to miss a minute of his or her life," I told him, biting my lip.

"What do you mean, when he's with me?" Edward's grin disappeared and he furrowed his brows together.

"I mean when it's your days to have him, to spend time with him, Edward… I'm confused," And I was. Did Edward not plan on being involved anymore? If things had changed that much, why were we sitting here?

"I thought that we'd move in together by then," he said softly.

"Excuse me?" I felt my eyes widen and my heart started beating a little faster. Live together? We'd kill each other. He had to realize that.

"We… I thought… I thought you said you could forgive me?"

"Edward! I said think I can, I don't even know what happened between the two of you!"

"Nothing! Nothing happened, Bella," he stood up, raking his hand through his hair.

"Um, that's why you told me you almost slept with someone else?" I stared up at him. Why did he keep saying nothing had happened when two days ago he'd told me he almost fucked her? I felt a pang of sadness and anger as I thought of him sitting on this couch, so casually talking about it.

"I… we didn't… you don't really want to know what happened, Bella! Today's been so good," he whispered the last part and I wondered how bad it was that he didn't want me to know.

"Just tell me, Edward. Tell me, please," I bit my lip.

I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.

"Alright. Uh, I was drunk. She kept giving me drink after drink and it's a little fuzzy now but I remember walking to her apartment, it was really close to the club. It was really small. We went up and she, uh, she took her clothes off," Edward said, pacing in front of me. I brought my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. I wish I hadn't asked.

"Like, shit. Not all her clothes. She wasn't naked. Then, uh… fuck. I sat on her couch and she brought me another drink. She sat on my lap and started kissing me. She was all fucking over me. She kept putting my hand on her tit and moaning and shit. It was wrong, so fucking wrong. I got out of there, I left. I was there thirty minutes maybe. I didn't almost fuck her, I didn't even come close but… fuck, it was wrong. I should have stayed at the bar. I'm so fucking sorry," he finished. Edward stopped pacing then kneeled in front of me and rubbed my arms gently. I shrugged him away.

"Um, I kind of wish I hadn't asked," I wiped my eyes and avoided his, "because the visual makes me sick. The thought of you touching another woman like that then coming here to rub it in my face, Edward… ugh."

"What can I do to make it up to you?" he pleaded, still on his knees in front of me. I felt trapped and anxious.

"I don't know. I need time, please," I whispered.

"Do you want me to leave?"

I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to stay. I knew it was probably a bad idea but I also knew Charlotte would act as a buffer.

"No, stay. Let's go to bed."

Edward stood and offered me his hand. I pretended I didn't notice and stood up on my own, stretching before leading him into the bedroom. Charlotte was still sound asleep, The Little Mermaid was still playing. We got into bed, on the sides Charlotte had assigned and quietly said goodnight to each other.

Then I buried my face into my pillow and cried, as quietly as I could.

~*~

so now bella knows the deets of what happened during edward's night out. what do you think? is she overreacting, underreacting, or reacting appropriately?