A/N - Thanks so much for the reviews. And just for the record (even though I have empirical proof that cliffhanger chapters get more reviews), I will try and control myself from ending with another cliffhanger. Hope you enjoy this chapter.
My Future in Your Hands
Just a few more hours
And I'll be right home to you
I think I hear them calling
Oh Beth what can I do
Beth what can I do
Kiss
Quinn feels her heart plummet, as she looks at the plane ticket grasped firmly in her left hand. Beth had got into another car accident; this time Shelby had proof that the sixteen-year old had been drinking. She had been admitted with a suspected concussion and bruised ribs and Shelby had asked her to come, for a second opinion and to see if she could talk some sense into her biological daughter.
She knows that alcoholism can be partly hereditary and god knows her parents were drunks. But Beth had Shelby who loved her and Quinn understood that she needed to do everything she could to ensure that Beth didn't throw any of it away. She accepts it, even if it meant meeting her and talking about her past. The problem was that Rachel needed her too.
She had made a promise which she had every intention of keeping. She just needed to figure out how. According to Marcie, Rachel was unconscious and she had no idea how serious her condition was. That meant she needed to find out before she flew back to Lima. Quinn can still hear Marcie's voice over the phone. "I'll call Dr. Drew and meet you at the hospital. Thanks for calling me."
She hangs up, and starts dialing Shelby's number as she rushes back through the terminal. She hears Shelby's breathless voice, "Quinn, when does your flight get in?"
The guilt hits her full force and she has to stop running to collect her breath and answer Shelby, "there's been a change of plans. I need to consult on a case here at the hospital before I can take the flight. There's another flight in nine hours into Fort Wayne and I'll drive straight to the hospital and meet you there." The crumpled ticket is still in her hand and she wonders what her answer would be if Shelby insists that she come now.
"She's still pretty woozy and we need to wake her up every few hours or so. Maybe it's best you come tomorrow when she's feeling better." Shelby never expected Quinn to agree to come so quickly and the fact that she was a big time doctor and probably had to rearrange her schedule meant a lot to her. She just wanted the best for her daughter and right now, she knows that meeting Quinn was something Beth needed to do. She still thought that she had been unwanted and abandoned and it pained Shelby to see her daughter struggle with that. Meeting Quinn was a gamble that she hoped would work out. "Thanks for agreeing to do this and I'll see you tomorrow."
#$#$#$
The hospital always looked like a welcome sight to her except now. Quinn parks her car but does not get out; instead, she sits there for a minute. She feels disjointed, pulled in two different directions, praying that it will all work out. The cross hanging on the thin gold chain feels cool against her skin as she gently touches it, a short prayer on her lips.
She hasn't gone to church in years but she hasn't forgotten God or how much prayer soothes her. In this instance, she prays for strength and a clear head so that she can help Rachel and she prays for patience and for the daughter she does not know and for the opportunity to get to know her. She makes one last fervent plea for Rachel's well being before she crosses herself and gets out of the car, squaring her shoulder against the cold and hoping for the best.
Quinn spots Dr. Drew, his baldhead reflecting the light as he bends down to talk to Tina. "Her last white blood count wasn't that low but it seems she picked up an infection when she was last here." She catches his last few words and understands the gravity of the situation immediately going into full doctor mode, shutting down any of her personal thoughts for Rachel.
"Have you ordered a cbc and BMP?" Quinn's voice startles Tina but when the young woman realizes it's her, she pulls her into a hug, tears leaking out. "Hey, it's ok; she's going to get the best care possible." Quinn needs to see Rachel but she knows that she has to talk to the oncologist first and get as much information as she can.
"Yes, the results should come in soon. She's running a temperature but she seems stabilized now." Quinn can see that he's holding back and slowly pulls away from Tina. "Where's Tony?" She smiles gently at her old friend.
"He's talking to Rachel's dads. They're trying to get a flight out." Tina looks at Quinn, trepidation gracing her normally calm features, she needs Quinn to tell her that Rachel is going to be fine but she cannot find the words to express any of it.
"I'm going to consult with Dr. Drew and then I want to see Rachel. Why don't you sit with her? I'll be in as soon as I can." Quinn is trying hard to separate her personal feelings from her professional ones and knows that she is not doing a good job when she feels the strong pull to see Rachel even before she reviews her case with Dr. Drew.
Quinn takes a deep breath collecting her thoughts and tamping down on her rolling emotions, ignoring the tendrils of fear in the pit of her stomach because she has to be at her best here in the little time she had left before she flew off to Ohio. "If we can isolate the infection source, we have a better chance helping her fight it, odds are it's her lungs or mouth and we need to check both. We need to bring down her temperature and start IV antibiotics." Quinn runs her hand through her hair as she thinks though the different scenarios that can occur in cases like this and launches into her proposed plan of treatment, hoping that Dr. Drew concurs and they can start helping Rachel recover.
#$#$#$
Quinn checks the IV again, just to make sure the dosage is correct as she places her hand on Rachel' temple, gauging if her temperature had come down since she her last check. Five hours had passed and Rachel still had not woken up although she knows that it's actually a good thing she hadn't as it gave Rachel's body time to rest and hopefully fight off the bacterial infection in her lungs.
"Is she going to be alright?" Marcie puts voice to a question Quinn has been asking herself since she took the call at the airport. As a doctor, she knows she cannot afford to second guess her decisions, each made to the best of her ability, each decision made to ensure that the patient lived. However, she is far from perfect and recognizes that some of her decisions had not been the right ones. In hindsight, she would give anything to save more lives but understands that she needs to always think she's right.
In this instance, she's terrified that she's not and that Rachel would not get better. "I hope so." He voice is soft, filled with hope and fuelled with faith. She had ducked into the small chapel in the hospital, praying in a place of worship for the first time in a long while, asking for guidance and praying for Rachel. She actually had to say a quick silent sorry to Rachel, remembering she was Jewish and hoping she would not take offense.
Her hand lingers on Rachel's temple, reluctant to break contact only pulling back when she feels Rachel stir.
"Rachel?" Her voice again filled with hope as she takes Rachel's hand, watching her eyelids flutter, fighting to open. Marcie runs to the door, calling for Tina and Tony, "I think she's waking up."
Quinn almost shouts out with joy when she feels Rachel's hand tighten around hers. "Come on, please open your eyes. Please" she whispers, not wanting to say it any louder for fear it was not really happening. She sees them all crowd around Rachel's bed, Tina taking Rachel's other hand as Marcie joins her is pleading for Rachel to open her eyes.
She can hear their voices but she feels so tired, her body aching all over and her eyelids too heavy to open even as she struggles to do so. She hears Quinn's voice, soft but filled with so much emotion that she pushes herself, blinking open her eyes, taking in the light and focusing on the people surrounding her. Her throat is parched and try as she might, no sound emerges as she opens her mouth, her eyes widening with fear that she has finally lost her voice.
"It's ok, you're ok, here." Quinn grabs the plastic cup and angles the straw so that Rachel can drink from it. "You're throat's pretty raw. You have a lung infection and the meds are helping." Her eyes meet Rachel's and an understanding passes between them as she sees the fear leave Rachel's eyes. She is still holding Rachel's hand and does not want to let go but she has to write up her notes on Rachel and prepare for her flight to Ohio. "I need to follow up with Dr. Bonner. I'll come back soon." She turns quickly, not wanting to see Rachel's expression, knowing that she would stay if she could.
#$#$#$
She knows she has to leave soon if she wants to make this flight but something is holding her back. Quinn finally enters Rachel's room, keeping as quiet as possible as she sees Tina, Marcie and Tony sprawled asleep in chairs around Rachel's bed. She had hoped that Rachel was asleep like her friends only to have the brunette turn to face her, her brown eyes open and alert. "Hi." Rachel's normally beautiful voice is hoarse but still recognizable.
"Hey, you gave us quite a scare." Quinn does not mean to be so honest but it's just the two of them and she decides to take the chance.
"And I thought I was the one that was prone to over exaggeration and over the top dramatics." Rachel tempers her words with a small smile, each word coming out in a whisper but at least she still has her voice. She's taken aback to see Quinn blink back tears as she looks away. "Will you stay with me?" The question escapes before she can stop herself. In the end, putting voice to her need and deciding that she cannot always be afraid.
Rachel sees an unreadable expression on Quinn's face and she holds her breath, not wanting to expect the worse but she can see Quinn pull away. "I…I can't." She wants desperately to stay but Beth needs her too. She sees Rachel shut her eyes and turn away, and she reaches out, cupping Rachel's cheek in her hand, wanting the physical connection.
Rachel feels the heat from Quinn's hand and wants to move away but she cannot bring herself break the tenuous connection, knowing that Quinn will leave her anyway, leaving it to her to again hurt her with her words and actions.
"It's Beth. I have to go and see Beth." She hadn't told anyone, except Alex about Beth. Never talking about her or the regret she felt in giving her up even though she knows it was the right decision to make at the time. She sees Rachel turn to her, "She got into an accident. I need to see her, to be with her." Quinn holds tightly onto the bedrail with both her hands now, not wanting to reach out to Rachel again because this should not be about her comfort.
Rachel had been waiting for Quinn to shut her down, for her to say that she didn't want to spend time with her or be with her. She didn't expect to hear of Beth and to then think about Shelby. The mother she never had, the one that she could only appreciate from afar. But here Quinn wanted to go to her daughter; she wanted to be with her. Rachel could empathize completely, knowing what it felt like to be loved but still feel like a piece of herself was missing. Wanting to have her mother there, needing to know where she came from.
Shelby never gave that to her and even though it still hurt like a old war wound that never healed fully, she learnt to deal with it, to accept that some things she couldn't change. She never saw Beth but knows that they have a connection through Shelby and Quinn and she doesn't want Beth to feel the way she does about her mother.
"Go." She smiles at Quinn, this time a full blown Rachel Berry smile, her heart breaking a bit to see Quinn still looking indecisive. "I'll be here when you return or hopefully not here in the hospital but here in New York." She does not add waiting for her but it's implied in her tone as she sees Quinn nod, understanding everything she had said.
Quinn slowly bends down, brushing her lips gently across Rachel's forehead. "I'll see you soon. I promise."
#$#$#$#
The flight and subsequent drive goes by in a blur and before long, Quinn is standing at the entrance of the hospital in Lima, the smell and sounds so familiar but she does not have the protection of her white coat. Here, she's not Dr. Quinn Fabray but just Quinn, mother to a daughter she has not met in sixteen years.
She stops outside the room door, her palm braced open against it but she does not push. Her mind is a jumble of thoughts ranging from worry about Rachel to fear as to how Beth was going to react. Like always though, she remembers that she's Quinn Fabray as she straightens her shoulders and pushes open the door.
She sees two sets of eyes turn to look at her as she takes in her the sight of her daughter, dark blond hair and Noah's eyes. "Hi, Beth, my Name is Quinn Frabray and I'm your biological mother."
End Pt 12
So, not a cliffhanger and the story continues... I have another five chapters to write for this story and then it's done. Review while you still can :)