The blessed counter is working again! Thanks so much for all the feedback of the last ten days, you have really kept me going. You guys are awesome! (You can keep writing if you want too, :D )

Merick

Chapter Thirteen

When Ron went to sort out another sandwich for himself; after first checking if Hermione needed anything, she took the opportunity to pull me aside from the crowd in the common room. I had known she wanted to speak privately, and while I hadn't purposely avoided that talk, I hadn't done anything to hasten it on either.

"Harry, I'm so sorry." I pursed my lips together and nodded, looking as obliging as I could when she apologized. "I didn't even think about what seeing that place again would do to you."

"Or to Draco." I whispered.

"Or to Draco." She agreed. "When we talked about what to do and Ginny suggested that place it seemed like a good idea."

So I had been correct in my assumption, Ginny had sparked the idea.

"She thought that it was one of the places where we had faced the most spells in the forms of hexes and charms, and of course the Dark Magic of fighting the Death Eaters. She saw it as a real triumph for us all."

"Triumph?" I didn't want to sound snide, or angry, and I tried really hard to make my words sound better than the emotions that lay behind them. "That place was like the beginning of the end for me Hermione."

"I know that now, but I just didn't think about the other stuff. Just about how we won, all of us, together."

"The other stuff? Like Sirius dying, like me finding out that Voldemort had to kill me to survive? Do you know what a hole that place left in me Hermione? I had hope before that place, and it just took it all away." I know my voice sounded pitiful right then, but I was beyond caring, at least with Hermione. She'd seen me at my worst, and if I were going to break down in front of anyone it would probably have been her.

"I didn't think." She looked absolutely miserable in that moment, I had to do something so I reached out and took her hand and squeezed it. I took a deep breath, just to calm us both.

"It's okay Hermione, it's done now. You're right, we survived." I tried to plaster a grin to my face but I know it didn't look sincere. "I will get past it, eventually."

There were tears in her eyes and she pulled me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Harry."

"It's okay Hermione, I'm not mad at you." And I wasn't, or Ron either. They might have been guilty of bad judgment, but nothing more, and I was beyond blaming people for that. Now an intent to harm, that was something I wasn't beyond forgiving just yet.

"Everything okay you two?" Ron was back, sandwich in hand.

"Just fine Ron." I answered while Hermione set herself to rights, her back turned to him.

"So what's up with Draco then?"

I was exhausted after the DADA class, and after talking to Hermione and Ron for a while. I had wanted to stay up and talk to Ginny, or at least part of me had wanted too, but fatigue won out, along with the knowledge that I still had morning classes to attend, it was, after all, Monday. So I went to bed, but didn't fall asleep right away sadly, the active little hamsters in their wheels kept me up for a few more hours. I was worried about what I could do for Friday's class, and I was worried about Ginny; not where she was, but why things had suddenly gone so bad for us, and I wondered how much of it was my fault.

Sleep did eventually come, fitful and peppered with nightmares of the Ministry, and of running for my life, over and over again, and not being able to escape, things I wasn't about to admit to anybody. I tore sheets from the bed, and scattered pillows, and blessedly morning arrived somewhere in the midst of it, and I hadn't been happier to see a sunrise in a very long time.

I dragged myself out of bed, not feeling, or looking, I imagined, like much of anything. A shower, a large cup of coffee, and not quite so bleary eyes followed Ron and Hermione to first period. And then second, and then lunch. After that we parted with me heading up to Astronomy, ruing the decision to take it on as a NEWT level course when I could have just as easily slipped back into my bed. But Professor Sinistra had asked to see me, and I felt as though I had to go.

The enthusiasm of the previous Astronomy classes waned drastically with my fatigue, and Draco nudged me once during the demonstration to wake me up and handed me a square of chocolate for the energy. I thanked him with all the sincerity I could muster and hoped I hadn't been snoring. He waited for me after class as I went up to the see the professor. We had Divination next, our first class with Firenze.

"Professor, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, thank you Mr. Potter." She handed me a drawstring pouch, cinched together at the top with a leather lace. "Just something for you to offer as a prize."

I looked at it, and then back at her. "Should I open it?"

"Of course." She smiled at me and I immediately felt a little warmer. I carefully undid the string and reached into the pouch to pull out a golden disk with inlaid circles that looked to me an awful lot like the inside of a clock. "It's an astrolabe, a very old one as well. When the owner taps it with their wand it will automatically find the location of the sun, moon, stars and planets as requested, even during the day, even indoors. A most useful tool I have found."

It was beautiful, and intricately carved with the designs I recognized from the classroom walls.

"Thank you, it is beautiful."

"You are very welcome Mr. Potter. I hope it will make as exciting a target as Mr. Weasley's dragon dagger."

"I'm sure it will." I had a thought, as my mind seemed to be suddenly waking up, must have been the chocolate I reasoned. "Professor? Would we be able to use your classroom for our team to meet up before the match? Just so we can plan out our strategy? I promise we won't do any spell casting up here."

"An excellent idea Mr. Potter. When would you like it to be available for you?"

I thought for a moment. That night, Tuesday, I had to be in Hermione's Potions class, so maybe Wednesday? She agreed, and told me she would meet us here after supper to open the door. I grabbed up my stuff quickly and went to meet Draco, fearful that we were both going to be late meeting Firenze, but Professor Sinistra, always on her own time, called after the both of us that she would send her Patronus to let him know that we would be late because she had held us back after class.

After Divination I had to go back to the dorms to lie down. If I fell asleep in Hermione's Potions class she would never forgive me. Well, she would, I think I had at least one in the 'free pass' column, but I didn't want to do that. I needed catching up there too. I threw myself onto my bed, pulled the curtains, set an alarm for six o'clock and fell asleep, dreamlessly. It was glorious, at least until the buzzing woke me.

At dinner, as at breakfast, I arrived after most of the other Gryffindors, and Ginny was already surrounded by her friends. Why do I mention this you might ask? Well, mostly because she was making no effort to talk to me. Not that I expected an apology, but I would have thought that if we were still boyfriend and girlfriend that she would have at least tried to talk to me once during the last forty eight hours. I wasn't a total idiot when it came to such things; okay I'll be the first to admit I didn't know nearly enough about girls, and I would never try to pretend that I understood them, but it was pretty obvious to me that Ginny had broken up with me. Not that I was quite sure when, or even exactly sure why. And that was twisting at my insides something fierce as I went to Potions class.

So, reading this chapter over I realize that it may seem a little ponderous, or maybe even scattered, I warned you at the beginning that I might do this every so often. You likely would have wondered where the Astrolabe came from, and why in Potions class Hermione had us make sleeping draughts; oh wait, I didn't put that part in yet, oh well, she did, and I did, and I used it. I wanted to make sure I put in all the parts that lead up to the things that happened next. I've probably missed a few things, so there may be some flashbacks. And honestly, I'd have preferred not to have to mention anything that happened with Ginny back then, because, with maturity I have been able to forgive her the things she did to me, and see more of how my actions pushed her to them. Although, I have to admit, looking back, I was pretty astute back then too; course I might be giving myself a bit more credit than I am really due as I write this. Who knows? It's my memory though, and my story, and it was how I was feeling back then.