A/N: I'm BACK! I'm so sorry for the long absence…but my life was absolutely insane and then I couldn't remember what happened next in DotNW. But yeah. I'm back now.

SPEAKING of which. You know what's really, REALLY painful? More painful than getting fifteen tetanus shots in your arm? More mind frying and brain cell killing than reading Twilight while being whacked in the head with a mallet repeatedly WHILE listening to one of George W. Bush's speeches? More painful than killing Zelos and watching him die FIVE TIMES IN A ROW when once makes you want to cry? It's the pain of being Yggdrasill pwning you AFTER Kratos already has, and the pain of realizing you could have chosen Zelos instead of Colette except now you have to either rescue the blonde bimbo or start a new game. And it's the pain of killing Mithos. Yes, folks, there is something more painful. I didn't believe it, but it was true.

And yes. DotNW IS worse if you watch it without the clear, vivid memory of the first game to save you. I couldn't find my copy of the game, so I used YouTube to find the scenes of the game I couldn't remember. And it was PAINFUL. I watched those scenes with the atrocious voice acting where only Colette sounds right and Zelos and Lloyd sound like child molesters and my eyes and brain SIZZLED. I'm not even kidding. Well, okay, maybe a little, but still. I wanted to cry. I did cry. I cried while rocking back and forth in the fetal position, sobbing "Why, Namco, why? What did I do? Tell me whyyyyy? Why don't you love me anymooooore?" But received no response.

So then I watched all the Zelos and Lloyd scenes from the original game I could find and I felt better. And yes, I remembered why I started this fic in the first place. BECAUSE DotNW IS AN EPIC FAIL BEYOND ALL EPIC FAILS KNOWN TO MAN.

But I digress. And I apologize for the long author's note. But I kind of had to get it out. DotNW scars souls, people. I don't know if I will ever be the same again. But hey, at least I know what to write next. Cheers!

I do not own DotNW THANK GOODNESS.

It did indeed complicate things, Zelos decided, especially when the two Lloyds started fighting, the sudden clash of swords startling him. It was loud. He couldn't remember a sword fight being this loud before. Not even when Lloyd had gone up against Kratos (and kicked the old bastard's ass) had a swordfight between two people ever been this loud or intense. Certainly not in his experience, and he'd been through quite a few swordfights by Lloyd's side.

"Two Lloyd's!" Marta gasped, and Zelos resisted the urge to say No, really, darling. These brats gave him a headache. "That must mean…"

"That one of them is…Decus?" Emil squeaked.

Zelos rubbed the side of his head wearily. He had a throbbing headache that the overpowering stench of cologne was really not helping.

"No," he muttered, unable to keep silent about it this time. "I think they're both Lloyd. He just split, like an amoeba, and now he's fighting himself." Martel, what had he done to deserve this? Sure, he'd done some pretty morally ambiguous things in the past, but enough to warrant this? No, he really didn't think so. Kratos didn't even deserve this. Well, maybe he did. But still.

The Lloyds stopped just as suddenly as they had started, and the one closer to them gave the other a wary look with his brown eyes narrowed suspiciously, with the left brow angled even so slightly up, and it was just so Lloyd that Zelos wanted to jump forward and hug him. The other one just looked pissed as hell. Zelos was fairly sure he could tell exactly which one was Lloyd, especially since he'd seen that suspicious, skeptical look directed at him more than once, but at least when it was directed at him, it was softened by Lloyd's warm affection.

Yeah, that one had to be Lloyd.

He stayed quiet, however, because he still had that moment of self-doubt, wondering if maybe, maybe if it was possible that he could perhaps be wrong. There was always that possibility. There was also the very real possibility that Emil and Marta would give him that come on, don't be ridiculous, how could you even tell so soon? look that he was so used to. And then they would ignore him, even if he was right.

And I don't really want to give it away that I know until I know I'll have the advantage, he reminded himself, and that was enough.

"I trust you!" the not-Lloyd rasped, and Zelos jerked, because it sounded so wrong that those words were coming from the wrong mouth, and with the voice that had the inflections just a little off, so not Lloyd. The real Lloyd was giving the not-Lloyd an indignant look. "Justice will prevail and—"

"That does not sound like me!" Lloyd burst out. "At all!"

"Of course it doesn't!" The imposter shot back with a feral grin. "You're the imposter!"

"I am not! You are!"

"Make the right choice!" the imposter called back in his wrong voice, and there was no doubt in Zelos' mind just which Lloyd was the real one, and he almost shouted something out, but stopped himself. Not yet. "I trust you all to—"

Oh, shut up.

"He's lying!" Lloyd informed Emil and Marta, who looked increasingly anxious. "Soon he'll be a thief, too! I bet he already is! Dwarven Vow #11: Lying is the first step on the path to thievery!"

The imposter's face contorted into a snarl, and he launched himself at Lloyd, whose reflexes seemed to have only sped up. There was the loud clash of metal sword on metal sword, and they were at it again, swords moving almost frantically, almost blurring as they desperately attacked and parried, trying to grasp the advantage. Zelos growled in frustration. Dammit. He couldn't even tell one Lloyd from another now. Not when they weren't talking. And not now that both faces had smoothed out into ones of complete concentration.

They stopped again, and one of them stumbled back a few steps, breathing hard, bleeding from a cut on his arm.

"Dammit," that one growled under his breath. "This is ridiculous."

"I trust you," the other one rasped out again, grin wide, nothing in the eyes that made Lloyd Lloyd. It was obvious which one was which. "Take out the imposter. Now!"

This guy was so stupid. He was counting on the fact that the people who would try to identify Lloyd would have only heard of him. He'd made too many mistakes for anyone who had known Lloyd to be careless enough to attack the real Lloyd.

"Emil." Marta tugged lightly at the blond's scarf. "Which one is it?"

Zelos bristled. Oh, sure. Ask the whiny brat, not the person who actually knows Lloyd. That makes a lot of sense.

"Uh…um…" Emil's eyes flicked from one to the other, unsure. Zelos could almost hear Emil calculating the odds in his head. Well, there are two…I have a 50-50 chance…I, um…gosh, I wonder which one it is?

Ask me, Zelos thought at them. I know. Ask me! Or just offhandedly mention Dwarven Vow #7! That would do it. Come on, now.

But did Emil do this? No. No, he did not. He slid his sword free, and the familiar scraping sound made Zelos scowl. Emil had a crappy sword. He needed a more tradition one. That was the way to go.

"That one is the fake," Emil almost shrieked, launching himself at Lloyd. Zelos didn't think, only reacted, as he pulled his own sword free, jumping in front of Lloyd, sword clashing with Emil's, impact jarring his arms up into his shoulders.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"What the hell are you doing?" Zelos countered. "This is Lloyd."

Emil looked confused for a moment, and his eyes faded back to green. "What? Then that one's…"

The look on the fake Lloyd shifted for an instant to panic as the twin Demon Fangs from Lloyd and Zelos' swords blazed towards him. That instant was all the time he got before he was slammed into the wall by the force of the attack.

"That's not Lloyd," Emil said, speaking the obvious.

It certainly wasn't. Lloyd's lips twisted into an expression of distaste as he took in Decus' attire. "I would never dress like that."

"Yes, Lloyd," Zelos said placatingly but all the same wanting to grin like the idiot he knew he was, "we all know about your fashion sense."

Lloyd glared for only a moment before he quipped, "Yeah, Zelos, and we all know you're one to talk."

"Aww, bud, you know you love my clothes."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just jealous. That's it."

"I knew it."

Marta was staring at the two of them. Zelos grinned back. Oh, he knew he wasn't acting very Chosenish right now—not that he did usually—but he could really care less. He wasn't even supposed to be Chosen anymore.

And besides, Lloyd was here.

"Kratos, your son whines. A lot."

Kratos raised a brow at his friend, miles and miles away, amused. "Oh, really."

Yuan's holographic image nodded sagely. "I think he got it from you."

"Oh, really."

"Uh huh. 'Just go to the Vanguard base and don't get killed,' I said. And then he said 'Oh, there's a great plan. Are you trying to get rid of me?' and I said 'Just go, brat!' and then he yelled at me to not call him a brat, and—"

Kratos tried taking deep breaths. It didn't help. "You sent my son to the Vanguard Base?"

"Where do you think he gets that attitude from?" Yuan huffed. "Kids these days." Then he blinked at Kratos. "Oh. Yes. The Vanguard Base. I did."

Kratos worked his jaw. Maybe he could get one of the angels here to give him a much-needed massage. Why did he ever talk to Yuan, anyway? "Why?" he demanded.

Yuan shrugged. "It seemed like it would be funny." He caught the image of Kratos' glare. "Geez, Kratos, it was a joke. Get it? The thing you're supposed to laugh at? I swear, you have no sense of humor."

"It's rather hard when I talk to you," he said dryly. "You sent Lloyd to the Vanguard Base?"

"Zelos is there. He'll be fine."

"Oh, and that's so reassuring."

"You should be reassured, Kratos." Yuan nodded, looking satisfied. "Yesss, I think it'll go quite well." He cackled softly to himself.

Kratos was silent for a moment. "You know, Yuan," he said finally, "I sometimes think you're eviler than Mithos."

"It's part of my charm."

"If you say so."

Heights made Sheena nervous.

This was not as absurd as it sounded, despite the fact that she was a highly-trained ninja from Mizuho. Sheena was very disciplined. She had excellent speed and balance—she had been able to hold her own against Kuchinawa—but somehow, accidents always seemed to find her. Things that she somehow couldn't prevent, even if she had known to. She really had tried to not fall in holes, especially after the fiasco with Colette at the Ossa Trail so long ago. But somehow holes just seemed to find her and pull her through them. It was ridiculous.

Now, Sheena was very fond of Colette, because it was nearly impossible to stay angry at the ditzy blonde. Colette was…charming. And heights did not make her uneasy. Why would they? She could fly after all.

"Don't worry, Sheena!" Colette had said brightly. "If you fall, I'll catch you!"

Sheena eyed Colette skeptically. Okay, so maybe the blonde was an extremely powerful angel who could lift ten times the weight as anyone else in the party—easily—but she certainly didn't look it. "Uh huh," was all she said.

"Besides," Colette said reasonably, "you haven't fallen from high up yet."

Yet.

"Great," Sheena managed.

There was actually a method to Colette's madness. Sheena shifted her weight a little, grimacing. They weren't exactly in the most comfortable spot right now. But apparently it was important to have the "element of surprise" and people pretty much never looked up and they weren't really expecting Colette and Sheena to show up anyway and really, it would just make more sense this way, really, Sheena.

Or so Colette said.

Oh, and Zelos was probably a psychic.

"Psychic" wasn't really a term Sheena would have usually used to describe Zelos. If he were really psychic, he probably wouldn't get slapped so much. So perhaps he was just selectively psychic. Either way, he had somehow—against the 50-50 odds—been able to identify which Lloyd was which without any question.

And that was just absurd.

"How did he do that?" Sheena was careful to keep her voice low, but couldn't keep it from rising a bit.

Colette looked like she didn't hear, not moving, still watching the proceedings below, but Sheena knew there was no way her angelic hearing could have missed the words spoken. Finally, the angel said, "Do what?"

"Zelos. He could totally tell which Lloyd was…well, Lloyd."

Colette was almost frowning, but she nodded a little. "Well…maybe he could see something we couldn't?"

Sheena wasn't quite convinced. "Maybe." It was more likely that he was just guessing. The differences between the two Lloyds had been far too subtle for anyone to tell, surely? Especially if Colette's enhanced eyesight hadn't been able to catch the difference.

Still, she might have to apologize to him, now. It seemed he had been right about Lloyd.

Far below—too far, Sheena's queasy stomach argued—a girl came out of the doorway. She squinted, but couldn't really see—or hear—clearly what was going on.

She glanced at Colette. "What's going on?"

"I think," Colette said after a few moments of silence (and Sheena was a little worried about all this, because it wasn't like Colette to be so serious or, well, competent), "that we'll have to step in pretty soon." It wasn't even the sort-of-almost-serious somber tone that usually made Sheena want to pinch Colette's cheeks, she was so adorable (or adorkable), but an actually-somber, this-is-actually-really-serious tone. Not one that occurred often in this Chosen's voice. Or the other Chosen's, either, for that matter.

Sheena took a breath and looked down at the very hard-looking ground. "All right. How should we get down there without being seen?" Scurrying/flying up hadn't been too much of an issue, but the atmosphere down there was so charged and tense, Sheena had no illusions that either one of them would go unnoticed.

"I'll fly us down."

"I think they might notice."

"Don't you have any charms?"

Sheena took another breath. Oxygen was good. Very good. "Yeah. I've got one more."

"Okay."

Sheena slid it into her hand and gave the paper a last, fleeting glance before shoving away her sentimentality, slightly embarrassed. It was just a piece of paper, really. She carefully creased it and muttered a few words before nudging the locks bound deep inside the seal, working towards that essential chain reaction, hoping it wouldn't blow up in her face, because that would not only be terribly embarrassing and would make her fall to the ground below, but would also give them away, and then all of this would be for nothing. Sheena didn't much like the idea of that.

"Okay," she said, and activated it.

Lloyd's head jerked up, momentarily distracted.

Had that been a wisp of smoke he had seen?

A/N: Ok. I feel REALLY bad now. Because I just realized that I haven't updated this in almost six months. I'm really really really sorry. Especially since I love Lloyd and Zelos and I love this story and…well…yeah. So in the interest of a quick update, I'll just cut it off here and try to post more very soon to make up for my failure in updating. I really am sorry. DX Updates will be soon, hopefully. Definitely no waits as long as this one in the future.