here's P!

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P is for Push

"Come on," Sawyer needled, watching her face.

It became closed off, steely and irritated all at the same time. "No,"

"Come on Jules, just tell me; birthmark? Oven door? Cattle prod?"

The last one elicited a sharp, involuntary intake of breath.

He stopped short. "Wha-, Juliet look at me."

"Stop pushing," she said simply, looking resolutely down at her book.

"Juliet." Sawyer was staring at her now, trying to see into her mind because Lord knows she never let anything slip.

"No."

"Juliet," There was an edge to his voice now. "A cattle prod? A hot poker? What the hell happened to you?"

He couldn't bear the thought of anything like that happening to anyone, never mind his girl, his Sunshine.

"Nothing, okay, it's just a birthmark! People have odd birthmarks all the time!" she exploded. Nobody could get under her skin by doing so little like James could. Aside from (Ben), she refused to even think his name.

"It's not a birthmark." Sawyer's hand whipped out and grasped her wrist, hauling her over and toppling her so she lay awkwardly on her stomach across him.

"James!" she yelled and twisted, but he was stronger than she was and she had no leverage.

His hands lifted her shirt and touched the shiny, raised ridges of her scar, the freckles around it, the redness that just wouldn't quite go away.

"Who did this to you?" he asked quietly.

She thought that was almost worse than him staring at her.

"Nobody."

"Juliet."

She stopped struggling now and just went limp, staring at the carpet. "The Others,"

Silence.

Then, "When?"

"A long time ago," her voice was flat and quiet.

"Why?"

"Because I did something I wasn't supposed to."

"What did you do?"

"James, please stop."

The memory was sharp; the crack of gunfire, the sight of the beach and ocean and the boat, Ben's angry face, the hot stick.

And then Jack's face, eyes sad and determined, his rough fingers gentle against her skin and his promise...

"What happened." Statement, not question.

"I shot Danny." She finally blurted. Those three words may as well have been an entire story because Sawyer's mind jumped straight to her helping him and Kate escape, shooting one of her own...

"Juliet-,"

"Stop. It's fine. I'm a big girl and it doesn't hurt anymore, just leave it alone." Then she was struggling to right herself again and shoving the back of her shirt down over her back and fighting to her feet.

Her face was pale and her lips trembled. A look came into her eyes.

"You look like you're gonna-," he was cut off as she suddenly ran for the bathroom, a hand coming up over her mouth.

He surged after her, catching her just as she fell to her knees in front of the bathroom sink and threw up, hands gripping the porcelain so hard her fingers turned white.

Sawyer turned the tap on and rubbed her back, holding her hair off her sweaty face and neck. Her whole body shook.

He eased her down onto the floor where she stared at the toilet with tears in her eyes, her face suddenly flushing and then draining of colour before she leaned over it again.

When she was done, she leaned against the tub, eyes closed.

Sawyer sat next to her, holding her hand and stroking her hair back from her face. Tears slid down her cheeks.

"It hurt, so much that I screamed, and Jack thought," she took a breath. "Thought that he'd saved me, from being executed, but it hurt so much worse than a bullet."

Sawyer leaned his forehead against her temple.

"And then he promised I could go home, both of them, and Jack promised we'd get off this island, and he did. But I didn't and I'm still here and I don't know if my sister's alive and my back does still hurt when it rains," it all came tumbling out now and her body was beginning to shake.

"Who takes care of you, huh? Who do you ever let take care of you?" he whispered.

She turned into him and he hesitated before wrapping his arms around her. It was the only time since they'd met that Sawyer had the thought that Juliet was small.

He learned pushing to make Juliet talk about things made her sick.


so, again, these are pretty much one-shots, unless i say otherwise, so yes O dealt with the same situation, this is just another variation. :)

do i really need to say it? reviews are love!

:D stay tuned.