Musical Recommendation: A Hill with No Name by the Yoshida Brothers

Lost In Limbo

Chapter Four - More than My Will

After their conversation in the gardens Kagome asked Sesshoumaru if she could have a tour of his palace.

"I would rather accompany you however there are a few matters to which I must attend, I have requested the young servant Lea to show the grounds to you" Sesshoumaru didn't look at her when he spoke but merely turned his head slightly in her direction as if trying to control his gaze.

"That sounds reasonable enough, thank you Sesshoumaru-dono. I will see you tonight then?" Kagome turned to face the palace trying to make Sesshoumaru's struggle a little less difficult.

"Yes, tonight, a quarter after dusk, Kagome-san, until then good day" Sesshoumaru stole a glance at her regal form, even he could have been mistaken Kagome for a true lady. As she walked away he watched her slim hips sway causing it to look as if the breeze flowed to her rhythm. Kagome sensed his gaze upon her and turned to respond to him, catching his golden orbs in her deep blues causing him to gape silently at the beautiful goddess in front of him. Kagome only shied away as she walked inside the palace while blushing guards closed the doors behind her.

Lord Sesshoumaru felt as if he had to contend with two separate parts of himself, the first spoke of abstinence, whilst the other promotes lust:

Be patient Sesshoumaru, in the end patience has always gotten you everything you have wanted so you most have tolerance with Kagome.

No! Take her to your bedroom and show her how much love you can pour into her, you caught her scent in the garden and it wasn't the greenery that got her so hot and moist. Wait I have to give her time if I don't she'll recoil. I want her but she has to come to me. Inuyasha betrayed her trust and I've seen the result of her anger and she wasn't truly cross with me, if I rape her she wouldn't even think twice before she'd shot me with one of her purifying arrows. Rather than ravishing her with my lust I need to lavish her with my love, she needs that now. But Her body is calling out the me, the gaze in her eyes arouses my ever nerve, I can see her firm silk laden body stretched out before me as her sweet voice flows from her blushing lips saying my name and quivering beneath me, responding to ever thrust I deliver until she is utterly spent.

Sesshoumaru's thoughts run wild with imagination as visions of Kagome in all sorts of erotic positions, of how many soft pleads would pour from her lips, and on the kisses and the smooth texture of her lips upon his. Sesshoumaru's eyes grow dark whilst his will is strained it became almost too much for him. Nearly on the last reserve of his willpower Sesshoumaru allows it to fall away sending him into a sprint into the palace following Kagome's scent, Sesshoumaru passed a hall or two perhaps even three, he did not know, Sesshoumaru was not relying on sight he was driven by the most animalistic tendency, his sense of smell. Kagome was just outside of her room door, the servant beside her reached for the handle, until suddenly a sharp gasp expelled from Kagome's chest. When the servant turned to address the maiden she saw her lord and master looming over the maiden who was hard-pressed against the opposing wall. The servant girl bowed and made a hasty retreat whilst the lord was distracted. Kagome stood with her hands against the Taiyoukai's chest, a move taken in defense that she now realizes as a beguiling predicament. She could feel his very heartbeat in the palm of her hands and although Sesshoumaru's face is hidden by his thick white satin hair there was none degree of his stoic behavior to hide his true emotions, the rabid pounding of his heart spoke volumes. Kagome's breathe began to quicken as Sesshoumaru hands, placed firmly on the wall blocking her escape on either side, began to inch closer to her waist. Sesshoumaru became dizzy within her fragrance; his body was now pressed up against Kagome, her arms softly placed upon his shoulders while his lips caressed the nap of her neck. Kagome's breathing was halted by a heavy sigh the erupted from her throat as Sesshoumaru began to lay soft kisses upon her another sigh coupled with a soft moan retreated from her lips and Sesshoumaru's spine went taut causing his hips to thrust upward against Kagome and in response Kagome shuddered at the thick hardness that now pushed into the utmost region in between her thighs.

"Sesshoumaru-dono, what's happening to us?" Kagome finally spoke breathlessly into Sesshoumaru's ear as she clung to him.

"I am…I don't know" Sesshoumaru's tone mimicked Kagome. He too was caught in the luscious embrace that ensnared them like vines from the heart.

"Should we even care? Should we just let this happen?" Kagome moved aside the hair that hid his face from her gaze and with a hand to cup his cheek she looks upon him with eyes full of yearning not only in lust but comfort and security.

"We should…care…if we don't we will lose the time it takes to gain one another's trust, Kagome-san" Sesshoumaru wrapped his arms about her waist and squeezed her to him for a brief moment before releasing her and stepping back, his expression was calm and yielding.

'Well spoken Sesshoumaru-dono, I never took you for the Don Juan type." Kagome leaned against the wall for support as her knees had suddenly become shaky.

"Who is this Don Juan that you speak of?" His calm façade is replaced with one of slight jealousy and in response Kagome chuckled and addressed him with ease.

"It is a turn of phrase from where I come from, a Don Juan is a man who knows how to work women by using his body and his words to make the helpless maidens fall desperately in love with him." Kagome coyly smiles at the handsome lord before her.

"So he is a philanderer." Sesshoumaru looked away in disgust and Kagome giggled even further at his puppy dog-like behavior.

"Oh I didn't mean it like that, unless you're getting a guilty conscious?" Kagome spoke softly as she taunted the Taiyoukai.

"I am no such thing to anyone else" Sesshoumaru look her directly in the eyes as he spoke to emphasize the seriousness of his words and Kagome could do nothing but cease her laughter and digest the short but profound speech.

"So that makes me…" Kagome whispered as Sesshoumaru began to walk away.

"I have decided to lead you on a tour instead my lovely guest, please join me as we explore my home." Sesshoumaru turned to address her with an outstretched hand and his head slightly bowed. Kagome placed her hand upon his and in response nods her head with a smile.

"But Sesshoumaru-dono, could I change my clothing first?" Kagome hesitantly removed her hand from his.

"Of course" Sesshoumaru went to slide open the bedroom and found himself quite close to Kagome their lips a mere breathe away.

"I'll only be a moment," Kagome whispers softly as she shied away "I feel quite out-of-place in this wondrous cloth." Sesshoumaru looked at her with a brief quixotic glance, when he spoke his voice was smooth and gentle.

"You should not feel inapt in attire befitting of your grace, the color of your eyes, the smoothness of you skin must be adorn the very finest cloth that I can possess." Sesshoumaru began to caress Kagome's blushing cheek and if only for a moment they stood together locked in silence staring into one another's eyes wishing the same thing, to become lost in one another through passion and pleasure, Regardless of their desires they abstained for Kagome fearing regret above all things and Sesshoumaru fearing rejection from the woman he desires most.

"I'm going to change Sesshoumaru-dono so we can carry on with the tour" Kagome stepped away from Sesshoumaru's hand and stared at the floor as if it was all she could look upon. A little hurt by her response Sesshoumaru stepped swiftly from the doorway not before saying,

"I will wait for you outside," Sesshoumaru did not wait for her reply as he closed the bedroom door. Once Kagome was behind closed doors, she walked over to her bed and fell upon the feather pillows in bliss, her stomach overflowed with butterflies and her mind was all a whirl with dreams of passion. Kagome began to feel normal again, a young woman in the early throws of love. Kagome was nearly walking on air as she gathered her battle attire. As she unfolded the garments she noticed the areas that had been mended by the servants, a gash on the lower hem from the thorn that caught as she ran from Inuyasha, a run in the stocking that occurred as Naraku grabbed her leg and flung her into a tree truck, and the deep hole gaping on the back, still darkened by her blood stains. Kagome began to meditate on the events that had taken place since yesterday, she wondered why Sesshoumaru seemed so distant and at other times so close she could smell him. All in all Sesshoumaru was acting strangely, Kagome wanted to know why, could it really all be due to the interaction of a human child, Rin? He was more kind and patient. As she strapped on the last bit of her armor Kagome looked in the mirror and smiled.

"Hopefully curiosity won't get me killed" She chuckled at the thought of the fight between the two of them the night before. Sesshoumaru had performed in such a flirtatious manner that Kagome couldn't help but enjoy it. However there was a part of Kagome that truly desired to harm Sesshoumaru because of his similarities Kagome then realized that if Sesshoumaru hadn't intervened that she wouldn't even be alive at this moment and she had yet to appreciate his decision. Nonetheless there was something in the back of her mind still craving for death, a final release from all of the stress and worry of her life, so much time had passed and even though she took the good with the bad she had an ever lasting urge to die and fade into eternal darkness.

Miles away from Sesshoumaru's domain on the outskirts of Kaede's village near the Bone Eater's Well, Sango stood looking over the edge and down into the well as her tears fell into the emptiness of the barren depths, wondering if Inuyasha was really telling the truth.

"Kagome-san, have you truly been taken from us?" Sango raised her head and wiped her eyes as the cry of a hawk flying overhead diverts her eyes toward the setting sun in the West.

Just earlier that day during the twilight of dawn, Inuyasha and Kikyo walked into the fog covered village. In any other village the occupants would be asleep however the news of the battle with Naraku had many of them sleepless so as Inuyasha and Kikyo passed through on their way to Kaede's hut, many families peeked out from behind the window shutters and whispered hopeful wishes of Naraku's demise and opinions of Kikyo's return.

"Is it true? Has the evil finally been destroyed?" One villager alleged in slight excitement.

"Where is Kagome-san, has Kikyo-san taken her place? Spoke another.

"Did she die in a battle with Naraku?" whispers filled with worry and fear drifted on the gentle wind that seemed to encircle them all.

The whispering questions greatly annoyed Inuyasha and sensing this Kikyo placed a hand on his shoulder and attempted a relaxing gaze hoping to calm his nerves but it didn't for her cold dead eyes held no comfort regardless of the position of her brow or the sincerity on her lips, Inuyasha began to ease himself in order to placate his lover. As they neared Kaeda's hut, Shippo came running out towards Inuyasha.

"Kagome-chan! Kagome-chan? Where's Kagome-chan…Inuyasha-kun?" Shippo could not see his friend and adopted mother in the distance or even beside the hanyou. He became even more concerned when he saw Kikyo instead by Inuyasha's side. Shippo took one look at the undead priestess and ran back into Kaeda's hut. Sango and Miroku watched as Shippo ran and hid behind Kaeda's leg.

"What is wrong Shippo?" Sango asked as she clenched her sword watching the door way with caution.

"Her...Kikyo, she's here and Kagome…isn't" Shippo shivered in fear at the presence of the undead miko. Inuyasha walked through the doorway with Kikyo in tow and gasps filled the room. Sango, Miroku, and Kaeda all held expressions of disbelief. How could Inuyasha bring Kikyo here after she helped Naraku obtain the Shikon No Tama, needless to say that she handed it right to him, and where was dear Kagome in all of this, why wasn't she accompanied by them or had they left her for dead.

"What is she doing here?" Sango growled with rage and distrust of the undead miko, she knew of Kikyo's past deceit and she wasn't about to let it pass, she aided Naraku in hurting them more than once and Sango wanted the retribution owed to their struggle.

"She's my mate, that's why she's here" Inuyasha spoke with his usually prideful voice and gestured for Kikyo to come closer to him. She stepped lightly to his side and glared daggers at Sango who was in shock even more along with everyone else to find that Inuyasha had taken Kikyo as his mate instead of Kagome.

"That doesn't answer for Kagome-chan's absence, was she killed in the battle with Naraku?" Miroku was calm for he knew Naraku had been vanquished because his wind tunnel had disappeared but still in shock he wished to know where and what happened to his beautiful comrade.

"She was too weak and so she fell in battle but I was strong enough to purify the Shikon no Tama and deliver it into the hands of the hero you see before you" Kikyo gazed up at Inuyasha feeding his ego as her hand stroked his cheek. Inuyasha stared as the Shikon glittered in his palm, he dreamt of the day when he would finally have his wish.

"Ka...Kagome-chan died," Sango wobbled to the floor in shock, "no that's just not possible... she was stronger... stronger than all of us if anyone could stand before Naraku and live it was Kagome-chan!" Sango suddenly reached for the kitana dagger on her hip and pointed it fiercely at the lovers gloating before them. "YOU'RE A LIAR SHE CAN NOT BE DEAD! YOU ARE BOTH LIARS! I SHOULD KILL YOU FOR IT ESPECAILLY KIKYO YOU HORRID UNDEAD BITCH!" Sango screamed as she held her dagger, her hands shook slightly as hot tears poured uncontrollably from her eyes. Inuyasha growled and stood in front of Kikyo guarding her but Miroku stepped in between them wrapping his arms around Sango. She dropped her dagger and cried emotionally into his robes.

"It's alright Sango cry, but after tonight you will no longer shed a tear while I still breathe." Miroku hugged her tightly as she sobbed and moaned painfully.

"Oh Kami! Kagome-chan, my little sister, oh Kami NO!" Sango sobbed aloud. All the while Kaede and Shippo where frozen from shock but as the tension in the room seemed to cool Kaede stared at Inuyasha and Kikyo. Kaede sensed a negative energy that radiated from Inuyasha like steam from boiling water.

"Why do ye not show remorse for Kagome-chan, if she has truly fallen?" Kaede was cautious as she spoke, she did not want Inuyasha to fly into a rage.

"I have my own way of showing sadness but right now I am too satisfied by the fact that I have finally got my hands on the Shikon no Tama, I will mourn her lose soon enough." Inuyasha walked out of the hut along with Kikyo slowly behind him. Sango glared with homicidal intent at the undead miko's back as she clung to Miroku's shoulder. Sango had witnessed Kagome's strength more than once and it surpassed Kikyo's by far, so she knew that it was not Naraku who had taken Kagome's life it had been Kikyo or worse Inuyasha. Sango stopped crying for a moment to ask Miroku what was on his mind.

"Miroku-hoshi, do you believe what Inuyasha said?" Sango had an eerie calmness to her voice like she had ignored all other emotions except anger from reaching her.

"Reason pulls upon my senses however my intuition says it can not be true, Kagome-chan was too strong to have fallen so easily in battle, she even stood against Sesshoumaru No Kimi when Inuyasha-kun turned full youkai, she couldn't have fallen, could she?" Miroku hadn't a clue of what to think but everyone in the room had their own opinion on the situation. Sango turned to Kaede and Shippo who stood in place watching the door.

"Kaede-Obaa-Sama what do you think?" The look Kaede had on her face was one of grief and a tinge of anger.

"Aye child, ye have your own outlook of this tragedy, but this old miko feels treachery in the death of Kagome" Sango felt relief to know they all share the same suspicion then her attention turns to the quiver foxtail beside Kaede.

"Oh, Shippo come here" Sango slides away from Miroku and towards the little kitsune with out stretched arms.

"Sango!" Shippo jumps into her arms and begins to sob deeply causing his small frame to quake in her embrace. Sango rubbed his head and speaks words of comfort to him.

"It'll be alright Shippo. We have all lost loved ones because of needless tragedy. We made it through that grief all alone but not this time, we have each other now" Sango cried softly and kissed the little kitsune's red hair to help ease his pain. Miroku moves behind Sango and wraps his arms around her as Kaede embraces Shippo and Sango clutching onto Miroku's sleeves. Each tries to ease the pain of the other as the all begin to cry, their collective desire to ease one another's pain turns into a sorrow that envelops them all and they sit this way tears staining their cheeks and dampening their clothes until sleep begins to fall over them. Shippo being the first to succumb to the slumber most duly needed. Kaede is next as she lays her head upon the futon with Shippo sleeping side her. Miroku and Sango sat together by the fire, Sango rested her head upon Miroku's shoulder as his cheek lay upon her head. Sango was the first to speak.

"Something happened to Kagome and Naraku is not the culprit, if Inuyasha wants us to believe a lie he could have a least played the part. No remorse, no regret, I've seen him more distraught over the ramen Kagome brought." Sango breathed a heavy and deep sigh as her brow creased in frustration. Miroku massaged the back of her neck and spoke soothingly to his beautiful warrior.

"What we need to do is calm ourselves, anger and grief can cloud the mind in such a way that every thought is a devastating crack to the body's chi. Breathe deep and slow Sango, let sleep fall over you in waves, I won't leave your side." Miroku held her close as he began to feel her drift off to slumber. He rolled out the futon next to him, cupped Sango in his arms and settled down next to her with his arms still enveloping her.

Outside of the hut a mere twenty yards away Inuyasha saw the fire beginning to dim and finally go out in Kaede's old hut as he sat in the god tree. Kikyo sat at the base of the large hierarchy and sensed Inuyasha's anger.

"What's wrong my beloved hanyou?" Kikyo looked up at him as the moonlight failed to brightened her deathly pale skin.

"I could have gotten that wench if it wasn't for her damn purifying arrow, I could have been telling the truth in there instead of a lie, she really could be dead." Inuyasha growled as he spoke but the glowing roseate light in his hands caught his attention and as he gazed at the round jewel held tightly in his palm the luminance reflected in his wide golden eyes unnerving Kikyo and she snapped him out his trance by calling to him.

"Inuyasha…come here" Kikyo beacons him with a lithe cold hand.

"Huh wh...What did you say Kikyo?" Inuyasha jerked a bit while coming out of his trance.

"Come here" Kikyo stood looking up at him without emotion. As Inuyasha jumped down from the tree he walked towards Kikyo only to stop a few inches from her.

"What will you wish for Inuyasha?" Kikyo tilted her head and stared deep within his eyes placing her hand onto his which held the jewel.

"I fell torn at this point Kikyo" Inuyasha was caught in between his desires and the desires of the mate he had chosen, Kikyo, however Inuyasha had grown to love his human half and although he would never admit it, this was caused by Kagome, due to her sentimentality and care Inuyasha finally understand that being a hanyou could be better than being a demon. Inuyasha was once again brought out of his musing by the silken voice of the undead miko.

"But if you become full youkai you could attempt to harm me and I do not wish to shoot you with my arrow again Inuyasha the first time you were not killed because you are hanyou so the arrow couldn't purify you but if you become a youkai you will be killed if I have to use an arrow on you. Also there is no need to wish for my soul you can give back the rest once you find Kagome and she is still alive I can feel her." Kikyo ran her hands through Inuyasha's hair as he stared into the jewel once more.

"Then what do you think I should wish for" Inuyasha looked up at her hoping he would not be asked to become human once again.

"You know what I want, it has not changed since before my death" Kikyo glanced at the jewel running her hands over the smooth glass.

"You want a lot of things Kikyo" Inuyasha glanced at the placement of her hand on the jewel and her own possessive desire seeping through her elusive comments.

Inuyasha was curious and decided to test Kikyo's resolve. Would she think of him or propose her wishes without hesitation? Would Kikyo love him as a hanyou or was she too proud to love a half demon? Inuyasha's thoughts ran again to Kagome as she taught him to embrace his humanity and except it with pride instead of loathing. Kagome had been the one to love him, dog ears and all. Inuyasha began to feel a warmth enveloping him as the thoughts of Kagome ran rampant in his mind until a icy chill ran along the side of his neck to the tip of his sturdy spine, it was caused by Kikyo stroking his cheek. Inuyasha tried to constrain the shiver that shook his shoulder as he gazed at Kikyo with intense anticipation. Kikyo knowingly masked her irritation as she leaned in for a kiss but before her lips touched his she spoke in a faint whisper.

"I want you Inuyasha…as a ningen1." Inuyasha pushed her away knocking her on the ground. Kikyo looked up at him in a furious shock.

"You want me to become a weak ningen, when demons run rampant even now, Tetsaiga would become useless to me, what could I defend?" Inuyasha voice was stern and cold, resentment shone brightly in his gold eyes as he gazed down upon her. If someone were to happen upon them in this moment it would appear as a growling hound bearing down on a yowling feline. Kikyo shuddered and prepared herself for one of Inuyasha's signature torrents of anger. Kikyo remained on the ground but approached Inuyasha with cautious and feminine allure. The shoulder of her kimono had become disheveled by her fall and Kikyo would use that small exposure of flesh to tempt her hanyou into submission. Kikyo silken voice became innocent and her face broached sorrow and sincerity as she spoke.

"Inuyasha I only hope to achieve a full life among humanity, as you are now we would never be accepted by my people-" Kikyo was interrupted by a slew of viper quick indignations.

"Accepted by your people! I don't need to be accepted by anyone, I am Inuyasha the Hanyou who slew Naraku and countless other demons that your people ran from in fear as they were slaughtered. My name is on every lip from here to the capital. The Lords that once spat on me would now cower before my might. I could fuck their daughters, who'd enjoy it, while those pompous bastards sucked their thumbs and pissed themselves," Inuyasha stood proudly breathing deeply as he peered down at the lifeless miko, "I am a hanyou, son of the Inu no Taishou of the West, I will not spit of my father's grave by weakening the blood he gave me, the very same blood that my mother sacrificed herself to save. So fuck you and your pitiful desires."

Inuyasha breathed hard and snarled at Kikyo who began to stand to her feet, she walked towards him, pausing once she stood an arm's length from him. Kikyo pulled back the sleeve of her kimono and proceeded to slap Inuyasha.

"How dare you speak to me-" Kikyo was once again interrupted by Inuyasha as he did one better by giving Kikyo a double slap causing her to stumble and fall on her rump once again.

"If we lived in Kagome's time than maybe I would become human but in this era there are too many things that can kill you if you give up your strong points, so I will not become human for you, I was a fool before, I was willing to do anything to get in between your legs" Inuyasha straddle Kikyo grabbing her wrists to pull her closer, her clothes now hung below her shoulders exposing porcelain white cleavage.

"Are you telling me that you would have become human for my reincarnation Inuyasha?" Kikyo gazed at him, her lachrymose expression gaining no effect of the callous hanyou.

"Why would you even bring that up?" Inuyasha pushed her to the ground and stood above her menacingly.

"It was you who mentioned the future from whence Kagome came." Kikyo sneered at him hoping to catch him off ground and make him stammer as she usually did.

"Ha at least Kagome grew hot when this hanyou got too close, when I was human that heat lessened, Kagome wanted the hanyou she wanted to mate with someone stranger than a ningen male." Inuyasha realized his words and began to think about all the times he and Kagome had touched, kissed, and shared intimate glances it made his heart race until Kikyo kicked him in the crouch. Inuyasha held in breath in pain and kneeled to the ground groaning as he held himself.

"Inuyasha you insolent whelp, you dare compare me to that disgraceful reincarnation? She prances around in strips of cloth and wields a little kitana and you get all soft?" Kikyo screamed at Inuyasha who was groaning and kneeling as he held his privates.

"If you'd rather have her than go and fetch her, worthless stray" Kikyo then ran into the forest as Inuyasha began to regain his footing. As he stumbled to the God Tree resting against it's trunk he gazed into the stars and whispered. "Fucking bitches" as he passed out.

Sango had awoken from hearing loud voices in the distance and decided that any further sleep would elude her. Although her place beside Miroku was cozy, Sango desired fresh morning air, so she pulled away from her lover and grabbed her weapon to ensure safety because even the morning hours could bring demons in search of a sunrise meal. Sango left Kaede's hut and walked toward to Bone Eater's well. As she made her way up the small hill that was home to the God Tree, she was taken aback to see the hanyou Inuyasha sleeping against the base when he favored the branches. Nonetheless Sango glared at Inuyasha, hoping he would wake to start a confrontation so that she could lash out at him appropriately but he never rose so she turned her gazed back to the well and continued her trek. A minute or so later, Sango reached the edge of the old well and looked down into it hoping to see Kagome climbing out of it with her over sized yellow pack that had become easier for her to haul due to the growth of muscles and skill. Sango reminisced on the training she had given Kagome and on how they would spare in that very field. For a moment Sango could hear the clank of their swords and the sneaky laughter of Miroku and Inuyasha as they watched the girls tussle. The punishments that were dealt upon the lecherous males were the most fun for her and Kagome. Sango felt her cheeks dampen as she ran her hands across the aging rim of the well. Sango began to grind her teeth as a forthright anger began to wash over her, she calmed herself with a ragged sigh and spoke in the same breath. "Kagome-san, have you truly been taken from us?"

1 Ningen (Japan): human being