I ran up the stairs, careful not to trip on any of the wooden steps. My eyes were swollen with tears. My heart felt like it could burst at any moment, and explode into tiny pieces.
Quickly I pulled open my old mahogany door and slid into me bedroom. Jumping onto my still unmade bed, I crawled under the light flannel sheets and hid. Right after my mom had died, I spent hours at a time curled in this position. When I could see nobody, it felt like nobody could see me. And that was what I needed. To be alone, wandering through my thoughts; wishing that I could be in a perfect world. One where mom had never died. One where dad would still be able to get out of bed without looking through the telescope that she had always used. One where I might be able to forget. But it was not that world. Things like that happened to people everyday; it was just unfortunate that it happened to my family this time.
A tear trickled onto my tongue, filling my mouth with the unpleasant taste of salt.
Knock, knock, knock-ady-knock, the secret code that me and my brother shared to let the other person know that it was us on the other side of the door, rang.
"Come in." I said, my voice cracking on the in.
Parker slipped into my messy room, to find me still in a ball under the sheets. "Ivy?" He whispered, "I knew I shouldn't have told you… it was my fault."
"No, it wasn't." I lied, poking my head out from under the comforter.
"Yes, it was. When you went all mumbo jumbo on me I was scared and I couldn't even do anything to help you…"
"No." I said stronger this time, "It was not your fault. I fell into these weird visions… they were memories of her." The way I said her made it clear that I was talking about mom.
"Oh, I see." Even he drooped at the sound of mom again. Slowly walking over to my bed, he sat down. His weight caused me to shift on the mattress and I was turned against will to face him.
"Oh, you're crying." He said when he saw my tear smothered face. "It's all my fault…"
"No, it's not. Stop saying that." I commanded, looking into his golden gaze steadily. With me still watching him, he slowly laid his back onto the bed, taking half of my pillow. For a few minutes we just sat there, looking at the white ceiling and picturing the perfect world that I wanted to go into.