Harry woke up groggily, the top half of his body was cold while his legs were hot and trapped in the sheet. Since when did his bed have sheets? It all came back to him in a rush and Harry screwed up his face tightly as he realised just what had happened and what it all had meant. He was Snape's son. He was Snape's son. He didn't know whether to laugh at the absurdity of it or cry at the revulsion.
It was cold in the room so he focused instead on that and, again, on his urgent need to pee. In fact now that he thought of it he never did go to the toilet last night so the need to pee was probably the same need he had while he was being whipped to death by his newfound father.
Harry giggled slightly as Snape came in with a breakfast tray.
'What is so funny?' Snape asked, floating the tray over to hover slightly above Harry's lap. On it there was a bowl of porridge and the smell was so nice that Harry's stomach growled loudly and he again forgot about his toilet need. He never actually realised how hungry he was until now.
'Eat.' Snape said after Harry had been staring at the food for over a minute.
Harry picked up the spoon wearily and dunked it into the porridge before bringing the steaming food to his mouth. 'What poison have you put in it?' Harry asked while sniffing it distrustfully.
This time it was Snape's turn to laugh. 'Don't you think that if I had meant to kill you I would have already done so?'
'You're just going to turn me into a mini Death Eater instead are you?'
'Something like that.' Snape agreed. 'Now eat.'
Harry couldn't remember ever having tasted anything more delicious. It was fruity and warm and Harry had a feeling Snape had also slipped a pain-relieving potion in as well because his muscles started to ache a lot less.
'Eat up quickly.' Snape snapped. 'We have a lot to do today. I'll need to put some more balm on your back and then you can have a shower while I go out and look for you.'
'Look for me?' Harry asked, confused. 'What, are we playing some perverted game of hide-and-seek?'
'Your imagination astounds me. But in case you have forgotten you have been abducted by Death Eaters. I have to meet up with Minerva and tell her that you have miraculously escaped and run away. She also knows about my true loyalties but that is all she will know. That news should hopefully calm them sufficiently.'
'But I want Ron and Hermione—'
'Does it look like I give a shit what you want? How many times do I have to tell you this is not a game?'
Harry looked down at the bed covers pitifully. He felt more than anything that his entire life was lost in this charade that would never come to an end. He'd have to give up his friends, his hope of becoming an Auror, maybe even his free will if it came to that.
'Have a shower now. When I come back I'll do your back and then we'll get started.'
'Started on what?' Harry asked fearfully, thinking only of pain as fierce as cruciatus.
'On something you've done before.' Snape said, his lip curling slightly. 'But this time you'll actually have permission.'
An hour later Snape was setting a penseive down on the table in front of Harry. Fed and washed Harry was now sitting on a threadbare couch in front of Snape looking at the basin apprehensively.
He bit his bottom lip in a worried fashion. 'You want me to…'
'Yes.' Snape answered his unfinished question. 'You will be looking into a lot of my memories in the future because I will need to show you what service to the Dark Lord is like, spy or not.
'But right now I need to show you something different. I should let you know though, before you look, that penseives cannot lie without giving something away. What I mean is that you will notice if it has been tampered with in any way, you cannot feed a penseive a false memory. Now if you will…'
He waved Harry over to the penseive in invitation.
Harry looked into the swirling liquid apprehensively.
'Well go on. I haven't got all day you know.' Snape said. 'Or has it lost its appeal now that you actually have permission.'
With one last scathing look at Snape, Harry dunked his head into the liquid and immediately felt himself jerk forward. Unlike with Dumbledore, Snape did not follow him.
He found himself in Dumbledore's office with a very alive looking Dumbledore sitting behind his desk, fingers steepled together in front of him and a very pensive look on his face.
Snape was reclining on a chair in front if the desk facing the headmaster, watching him carefully.
'So what is the new plan?' Dumbledore asked.
'I'm not sure exactly what it involves.' Snape said slowly. 'The boy won't tell me. And I certainly don't think it would work. Draco Malfoy has the brains but not the guts to pull it off.'
'He is certainly taking it seriously if he will not even confide in you.'
'That is true but that is more in fear than actual intent. He is not expected to complete the task. It is the Dark Lord's way of punishing Lucius.'
'Yes I gathered that.' Dumbledore said. 'He knows Harry is as protected here as he always was.'
Snape scowled suddenly. 'Why does the whole world have to revolve around Potter?'
'Doesn't it?' Dumbledore asked in surprise.
'No, it doesn't. The plot is not to kill Potter, it's to kill you.'
Dumbledore turned and looked towards the window with a frown. 'I see. Well that makes things a lot simpler.'
'How so?' Snape asked warily. Sitting up a little straighter.
'Harry's the one that needs protection. He is the one that will challenge Voldemort. I am too old and weak now.'
'No.' Snape said firmly. 'Whatever you're thinking, no.'
'And what am I thinking then Severus?'
'Some kind of suicide mission that you think will save Potter.'
'Oh, what harsh words you use.' Dumbledore said in some amusement. 'I certainly don't want to commit suicide, I've been looking forward to going to heaven.'
'Don't try to change the subject old man. I know exactly what you're planning and it won't help Potter.'
Dumbledore looked at Snape over the top of his half-moon glasses for a moment. 'I certainly think that any plot that doesn't involve Harry at the moment is good one.'
'The reason they want to get rid of you is because you are the one protecting Potter. The Dark Lord thinks that once you are out of the way there will be nothing standing in the way of him and his Golden Boy.'
'Well then he's wrong, isn't he?' Dumbledore held up his blackened hand for Severus to see. 'I am weak, I cannot do much anymore, least of all protect Harry. The school and the wards are doing that, as well as the teachers, but most of all you are doing that right now, just by knowing what the Dark Lord is planning.'
'He doesn't tell me everything.'
'He will. Soon he will trust you with everything and you will go on protecting Harry as you always have done, even from afar.'
Snape looked down. 'You ask a lot of me Albus.'
'Yes but I know you will do it. When the time comes you will do it and you'll know when the time comes. I am going to start showing Harry everything I know, I will tell him about the Horcruxes.'
'Grooming him to do the job you couldn't finish?' Snape asked bitterly.
'Exactly. I will show him so that he can carry on my work. He is young and powerful while this curse is going to finish me off.
'Then let it finish you off then rather than ask the impossible of me.'
Dumbledore stood up, towering over the younger man. 'Severus, we both know I will not live to see the end of this war, nor am I supposed to. It will happen sooner rather than later and I'd rather it be by your hand than Voldemort's. Don't give him the satisfaction. This will assure your place in the Death Eater circle. You will be told the important things about Harry and the Horcruxes.'
'He will never tell me where the Horcruxes are hidden.' Snape intervened.
'He might. You could win us this war Severus and I know what a sacrifice I am asking of you but I have protected you so far and I will continue to do so from beyond the grave. You are no coward, Severus.'
Dumbledore sat down again and popped a sherbet lemon in his mouth.
'There will be benefits of course.' He carried on, sucking happily on his sweet. 'I will give you the DADA job this year.'
'Oh joy.' Snape said dryly. Dumbledore smiled sadly. 'Do you want to start making bets on whether I'll last the year?'
Dumbledore ignored his last question. 'To all intents and purposes you will have the job you wanted since starting here. Giving it to you shows my unequivocal trust in you. To most of the students you will be your grumpy old self we all know and love.'
Snape snorted. 'But to your Slytherins,' Dumbledore carried on. 'You will let them know that they can come to you for any… extra teaching. Let them decide for themselves what that teaching might be. And if Draco Malfoy comes to you—'
'He won't.'
'But if he does, press him for as much information as you can under the pretence of helping him.'
'That will be no pretence.'
'The pretence will be acting as if you wish to help him with the plan.'
'Which I will be doing anyway.' Snape said angrily.
'You knew this day was coming.' Dumbledore said with little remorse.
'No Albus, I didn't. You may have mentioned this happening fifteen years ago when you knew full well I had no other choice but it's not as if I believed it to be a reality.'
'Well it is and I know you will do your duty. Listen to any Slytherin who is willing to talk and remember there is more at stake than your conscience.'
Snape stood up stiffly. 'You may be old but you are still a manipulative bastard.'
Dumbledore laughed softly.
Snape stalked to the door and put his hand on the doorknob but looked back just before opening it.
'I will do my Duty, Headmaster.'
'As I knew you would.' Dumbledore replied with no glint in his eye.
As Snape opened the door the scene shifted.
Harry found himself standing on the outskirts of the forbidden forest. A few metres from him Snape stood leaning haughtily against a tree with his arms crossed. Dumbledore was opposite him looking a bit older and frailer than he did back in his office.
'What is it Severus?' He asked with a note of impatience in his voice.
'What is it? WHAT IS IT?' Snape shouted. 'Well maybe it's the fact that I haven't slept well in months, I feel like shit and have to spend most of my time trying to teach a bunch of bratty kids that don't want to learn, as well as trying to shadow Draco Malfoy's every move when the boy is more slippery than his father. Or maybe, just maybe I've had it with you and your asking of the impossible.'
'You agreed that you would do it.' Dumbledore said in a no nonsense voice.
'Well maybe I don't want to do it anymore. You don't know what you ask.'
'I know exactly what I ask.' Dumbledore said, eyes hardening.
'Well you're asking too much.' Snape snapped, turning away.
But Dumbledore was having none of it, he took him by the shoulders and turned him back around to face him.
'Severus.' He said looking straight into his eyes. 'I don't have time to argue with you. You said you'd do it and there's nothing else to it. You will do it or live with the consequences, which will be a lot worse than the overdue death of a useless old man. In any case you made the unbreakable vow with Narcissa.'
Snape sneered. 'The boy won't tell me anything, you know that.'
'Well then start making investigations in your house. Someone in Slytherin might know something.'
'I doubt it.' Snape said before turning and starting to walk away.
'I'm counting on you Severus.' Dumbledore said into the darkness. Snape did not turn around.
The scene changed again and before he knew it Harry was back in the office facing the headmaster who was sitting sadly in his chair behind his desk.
The door had just opened and Snape walked in looking as sour as he always did. His hair looked greasier than ever and was hanging lankly around his face.
'Severus, sit down.' Dumbledore said lightly.
Snape didn't sit down. 'You've found it.' He said coldly.
'I think so. We will leave tonight.'
'We?' Snape asked, raising an eyebrow slightly.
'Me and Harry, yes.'
'I see.'
'I don't expect to survive this.' Dumbledore said. 'But I am confident Harry will bring me back here.'
'I see.' Snape said again.
'You know the one thing I've always liked about you Severus is your varied vocabulary.'
'What exactly do you expect me to say?' Now Snape did sit down, wearily.
Dumbledore stared hard at Snape. Harry could see the lines around his eyes, which had lost their twinkle. 'I do know what I ask of you Severus but I ask it anyway because we don't have any other choices. I am sure Draco has succeeded with his plan, from what I have heard. So when I leave tonight he will set it in motion. Be ready, Severus. I need you there when the time comes.
'If the time comes.' Snape corrected.
'No, when. I will not survive this, I can see it. Don't you dare let my death be in vain Severus. This is our only chance, this is Harry's only chance.'
Snape didn't say anything. He just looked down for a few minutes. 'I never liked teaching those brats anyway.' He mumbled to himself.
'Well that settles it then.' Dumbledore said almost happily, as if they had just decided what they were going to have to eat.
Then Snape did something very shocking. He moved forward so quickly that Harry wasn't even sure what had happened until he saw Snape kneeling in front of the Headmaster.
'What are you doing Severus?' Dumbledore asked in some amusement.
'I will do your bidding.' Snape said quietly to the floor. 'You are my master, my only master. You saved me and I will never forget that.'
'Severus get up and stop being so stupid.' Dumbledore said exasperatedly. 'I am not Voldemort and I certainly do not have people bow at my feet.'
'I choose to.' Snape said. 'I give myself over to you. If it wasn't for you I would be dead.' Snape than looked up into Dumbledore's eyes and this time Harry really saw the look of admiration in Snape's eyes. And if Harry had been shocked by what he had seen so far, what happened next was even more shocking.
'Who's going to look after me now?' Snape pleaded. Still looking up at Dumbledore with that look of admiration and loss.
Dumbledore chuckled. 'You will look after yourself Severus, and you will look after Harry. I am sure you will do a much better job of it, now that you will have Voldemort's full trust, than I have ever been able to do.'
'Yes Headmaster.'
Dumbledore held out his hand to Snape and helped him up. Once they were eye to eye Dumbledore said softly in correction, 'Albus.'
'Albus.' Snape amended. Then he turned and started walking towards the office door. As he got to it Dumbledore called him back.
'Severus.' He said. 'You will need to look after Draco too. He is not a killer but that only means he will be killed, unless you can stop it.'
'I will Head—Albus.'
Then he was gone.
'Severus'Snape said nothing, but walked forwards and pushed Malfoy roughly out of the way. The three Death Eaters fell back without a word. Even the werewolf seemed cowed.
Snape gazed for a moment at Dumbledore, and there was an unidentifiable emotion etched in the harsh lines of his face, which was masked as revulsion and hatred.
'Severus … please …'
Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore.
Harry was snapped back into the real world with such abruptness he felt nauseous for a few seconds and had to collapse back onto the couch to steady himself.
Snape was standing next to the fire, warming his hands. He wasn't looking at Harry.
Harry gazed at him a moment, his eyes glazed over as he was thinking over all he had seen. 'I thought he was pleading with you to save him.' He said at last.
'Stupid boy.' Snape replied, turning away from the fireplace and moving to sit on the opposite couch. 'Do you really think that Dumbledore would go through all that trouble for me to go back to spying and be accepted back into the fold just to throw away my cover like that in front of three other Death Eaters, just to save himself who, to all intents and purposes, was already dying?'
Harry had to concede the point. It didn't sound like something Dumbledore would do.
'Is the school still opening this year?' Harry deliberately changed the subject to give himself time to think.
Snape stared at him, gobsmacked. 'Why do you even care? I know you were never going to go back and you certainly won't now.'
'I was just curious.' Harry said, shrugging. 'I'd like to know what Ron and Hermione are going to do—'
'Oh, of course, your precious friends. I am sure they will be safe and sound whatever they do but you will not be joining them and you may as well get used to it.'
'I know.' Harry said sadly. 'Is this what Dumbledore meant when he was talking about you looking after me?' Harry cocked a half smile.
Snape raised an eyebrow. 'This may not have been exactly what he meant but I am still doing it.'
'No you're not. You're looking after yourself and to do that you have to take care of me. If that means whipping my back to shreds and hitting me round the face, that is.'
'Do you still distrust what you have seen?' Snape said, ignoring Harry's last comment.
'Maybe. I don't know. But it doesn't matter so much that you're not an actual Death Eater, you're still a horrible person and I don't want to be related to you.'
'Ah, that is what this is all about, is it?' Snape said angrily. 'Being related to the greasy, big-nosed git of a Potions Master.' Harry's mouth fell open. 'Yes, I know what you all call me behind my back but let me just remind you that underneath that glamour you may look just like me.' Harry paled at that and Snape smirked nastily.
'Also,' he carried on, 'do you really think I want to be related to an insufferable, big-headed, four-eyed idiot of a boy who thinks rules don't apply to him and—'
'Yadiya, blah blah, I've heard it all before Snape.' Harry interrupted. 'But if it makes you feel better then bring it on because I promise you that you can't make me feel worse than I already do.'
Snape snorted at that and got up. He went over to the drinks cabinet and took out a bottle of fire whiskey and two glasses. Harry watched in amazement as he poured some into both glasses and gave one of them to him. Snape sat down opposite him again and clinked his glass with Harry's, which was still hanging limply from his hand.
'Cheers.' Snape said and proceeded to slowly drain his glass.
Harry was not going to miss a moment to get drunk if the opportunity should arise and went to knock the whole thing back when Snape put out a hand to stop him.
'You do not drink like that.' He said.
'But I've seen—'
'I don't care what you've seen.' Snape said. 'In our circles alcohol is savoured, it is drunk slowly, swirling it around your mouth to get the full flavour. You hold it in the middle of the stem with one hand. Now, try it.'
Harry held it how Snape instructed although a little part of him was wondering just why he was listening to Snape. He took a sip and then choked on it as it burned all the way down his throat. After his coughing had subsided he quickly put the glass down.
'How can you savour that taste?'
Snape smirked.' You will get used to it. I will give you one a day which means you will finish that one.' Harry looked at it with revulsion. 'Now for Occlumency. I am going to try a different approach this time because the other way obviously wasn't working.'
Harry tensed, expecting Snape's sharp 'Legilimens,' but all he did was come to sit beside Harry and turn to him. Harry recoiled automatically before he even realised he'd done so.
'Oh for Merlin's sake Potter, I'm not going to bite you- yet.' Harry knew that was not meant to be a joke. 'Now I want you to concentrate. What is your worst memory?'
Harry just opened and closed his mouth a few times like a fish. His mind had gone completely blank and he simply couldn't think. Maybe that was a good thing considering the situation.
Snape sighed in irritation. 'Let's try a different approach then, what do you see when you encounter a Boggart?'
That Harry could answer but it still didn't mean he wanted to. 'Dementor.' He muttered.
'Right.' Snape said, his impatience showing. 'That is obviously a bad memory for you and it means it will be very easy for someone to use it against you, so you need to make sure they can't. What did you do to make the Boggart Dementor look more comical?'
'I didn't do anything. Professor Lupin wouldn't let me have my go because he thought it would turn into Vol—'
Snape hissed softly and Harry shut up.
'Okay.' Snape said, almost seething in his impatience. 'What would it have turned into had the werewolf let you see it?'
'I don't know.' Harry admitted. 'I never got round to thinking of it.' At the look Snape gave him Harry hastily carried on. 'I suppose … I suppose it could have … tripped on its robe or something …'
'Hilarious.' Snape said dryly.
'And landed flat on his face.' Harry carried on in desperation. 'With it's robe all crumpled and all that … and it would be all disorientated and not be able to suck souls and … um …'
'Okay, that is quite enough. You're sounding like a first year with all your pathetic ramblings.' Snape said. 'Now I want you to search your memories for one with a Dementor coming towards you. Have you got that?' Snape asked without giving Harry any time.
Harry quickly racked his brains and came up with the memory of him and Sirius over by the lake with all the Dementors coming towards them. He shivered. 'Yes.' He said as confidently as he could.
'Tell me about it?'
'What?' Harry asked.
'Tell me about this memory you have in your mind, I'm not going to look at it myself yet.'
'Um, well, me and Sirius are by the lake and there are loads of Dementors coming towards us and I'm trying to produce a Patronus but I'm becoming too weak.'
'Right.' Snape stopped him. 'Choose to focus on just one of these Dementors, the one nearest to you. Have you got that?'
'Yes.' Harry said in a slight daze.
'Now see it in your mind coming towards you, dark and frightening.'
'Yes.' Harry murmured.
'And then as it gets really close it trips on it's robe, falls flat on it's face, if indeed it has one. Are you getting this?'
'Um, yeah.' Harry said still in a murmur.
'So there is you and your mutt almost becoming unconscious from this Dementor attack and then it trips over in a rather comical way.'
'Yes.'
'And then…' Snape trailed off.
'Then it falls and it tries to right itself but it can't and it's hood falls off and there's nothing there and…'
Suddenly and without warning Harry felt something or someone entering his mind. He didn't try to stop it but he could feel it probing his memories, searching out the Dementor attack and seeing just what Harry was seeing in his head- the Dementor tripping on its robe and falling to the ground, turning to dust.
Then the intrusion was gone and Harry found himself breathing rather heavily as if he had just run a long distance in a very short time.
By the time Harry had got his bearings Snape was again standing over by the fireplace. This time he was looking at Harry and smirking widely.
'What?' Harry said suspiciously.
'Do you realise what you have just done?' Harry just looked at him perplexedly. 'Obviously not.' Snape carried on. 'I legilimised you just now, looking for your actual memory of the Dementor attack. What I saw was the Dementor falling over, which I know didn't really happen.'
Harry's eyes widened in surprise and some pride. 'Did I just…'
'You didn't just occlude your mind, you made me see something completely different from what actually happened. You fed me a false memory.'
'I did?' Harry said in elation, forgetting for a moment who he was speaking to.
'Don't go getting too bigheaded now. What you did was easy because I did most of the hard work for you. I fed your mind the false memory for me to find. I looked for what I knew you were occluding. The Dark Lord will not be so kind. I wanted you to know what it feels like to feed false memories because this is what you will eventually have to do.
'Unfortunately you have a lot more to work on. You have to occlude everything you do not want him to see and you have to do it all the time without even thinking about it. It is all well and good being able to do it now while I am more or less modifying what you are thinking for you, but it is a start.'
Even after Snape's words Harry couldn't help but smile. He got up and stretched slowly. 'But I can learn this, right?'
'Lets hope for all our sakes you can.' Snape replied. 'You have the rest of the morning free to do what you want. Lunch will be served at one o'clock sharp and I expect you to join me at every meal. I suggest for now that sleep would not go amiss.'
Snape turned away, walking towards a door Harry assumed went to his potions room. 'Now do not disturb me, I have some bats eyes to pick up.' With that he left.
Bats eyes? Harry thought in confusion.